"I don't think you trust in my
self righteous suicide.
I cry. When angels deserve to die."

-System of a down


Uchiha Sasuke was an asshole.

Naruto sat seething in his chair at the principal's office, refusing to even look at the brooding boy next to him. To anyone passing by, it seemed like Naruto had been beaten up by a very good-looking bully. The bruise on his cheek had deepened to an ugly purple and his lip had split anew.

"For the record, this is entirely your fault."

Sasuke didn't even bat an eye.

"Fucking bastard can't mind his own business."

It started out something like this.

Class was over and they were heading outside to the Music room. Naruto had forgotten something in his desk and so he waved Kiba off and returned to the classroom alone. His pen was nowhere to be found, and didn't that just suck, he was going to have to steal another one somewhere, somehow.

Just as he was about to leave, he felt himself yanked roughly by the collar of his coat and dragged back into the empty classroom. Bewildered, he looked up to see Sakura standing over him, arms crossed and frowning heavily.

"Excuse me," He picked himself off the floor, annoyed. "Do we know each other?"

Sakura leveled her gaze at him for a few moments before finally tossing her hair to the side.

"Stay away from Sasuke-kun."

For a second, Naruto was sure he misheard her. He stared at her, speechless, before his irritation hit the roof.

"I'm sorry, what the fuck even." Naruto threw his hands up. "What do you want me to say to that? Sure, yes, I'm sorry for intruding on your property, thank you for your time?"

"That's a start." Sakura frowned. "I don't like the way you hang around Sasuke. It literally nauseates me that he is breathing the same air as you."

Naruto rolled his eyes so far he practically saw the back of his head.

"Why don't you tell that to your boyfriend?"

He recognized the gleam in her eye and felt instantly uneasy. Sakura was calculating and smart about getting what she wanted. Naruto had spent years watching her in action, as she spun web after web, trapping people like flies until she rose as a victor.

"I intend to." She smiled conspiratorially. "Did you know that the Sasuke's the sole heir of the Uchiha clan? He's a very eligible bachelor who needs to carefully think about the future of his family line."

Naruto couldn't believe his ears. "You can't be serious."

"Oh, I'm very serious." Sakura glared. "I'm on a mission, and you're a fucking eyesore. Get out of my way."

With a flip of her strawberry hair, she turned to leave the classroom.

"Wait just one goddamned moment!" Naruto didn't think as his hand shot out to grab her by the wrist.

She gave a cry of dismay and violently wrenched back her hand, backhanding him in the face.

"Ow! Mother—!" Naruto grabbed at her hands to stop her from further landing blows. "Stop it!"

She began to struggle against him.

"Help!" She cried out. "He's attacking me! Help!"

They were out in the corridor where people were beginning to gather at the commotion. He immediately let go of Sakura in horrified realization.

"Sakura-chan!"

"Ino!" Sakura ran to her friend's embrace and began to cry. "H-he was so violent! I was so scared!"

Naruto recognized his classmates in the crowd and with a sinking feeling, he realized what it must look like.

"Oh my god,"

"He raised a hand to a girl."

"Scary!"

"So violent."

Each accusation was like a nail on a coffin, slowly but surely suffocating him. Naruto's steps faltered as he backed away, feeling the weight of accusing eyes directed at him.

He couldn't breathe.

"Oi."

A dark figure rose among the crowd, and Naruto watched in daze, as Sasuke stopped before him. Everyone held their breaths as the two figures stood staring each other down.

And then, between one breath and the next, Sasuke jammed up his right leg and kneed the blond in the stomach.

Cries of alarm rose from the group as Naruto dropped to the floor, coughing. The blond glared up, anger re-kindling inside him and no force could have stopped him from leaping to his feet and punching Sasuke in the face. The Uchiha retaliated and panic broke out in earnest as it escalated into a full-blown fight.

The teachers came running down the hall at the commotion, and the two were forcefully separated, snarling at each other the entire wasn't sure how they were manhandled into the nearby classroom, but they were yelled at for a full ten minutes by the scary science teacher Azuma-sensei. And just as Naruto was sure he was about to get murdered by a teacher, they were sent to the principal's office.

…which was where Naruto found himself currently, slumped against the squishy armchairs and stewing in irritation. The calm secretary handed him a cup of tea and told him the principal would see them now.

The principal of Konoha was an odd man called Jiraiya, and with his shock of white hair, Naruto found out up close and personal why he was considered an eccentric man.

"Forget eccentric. Isn't he just a freaking pervert?" Naruto gaped at the several posters of scantily clad women hanging around the office.

"Welcome, welcome." Jiraiya slapped him on the shoulder as he sauntered into the room, clad in a full-blown hakama in the middle of September. He wore a pair of geta that were obnoxiously loud against the polished wooden floor of the otherwise beautiful office. Naruto forced his eyes to keep it above the man's partially exposed (hairy) chest.

"So! My first freshmen delinquents of the year." Jiraiya flopped onto his seat and kicked up his feet on the table. "Wasn't expecting to see you, Uchiha."

Sasuke did not say a word, eyes stubbornly downcast.

"Blondie over there looks like he got run over by a train." Jiraiya continued conversationally. "You better defend your honor now or I'll be forced to suspend you for violence against another student."

Naruto snuck a glance at the other boy who was still as a statue. Jiraiya waited a beat, drumming his fingers against one arm.

"Well, that's that, then!" Jiraiya moved to stand up. "Shizune will help you with the paperwork. You'd think being suspended would mean less work but honestly, it's so troublesome—"

"Um," Naruto cleared his throat, unable to keep silent any longer. "I… actually, I… I fell."

Jiraiya blinked at him. "You fell?"

"These," Naruto pointed to his face. "They're from, like, a week ago. I fell. You can ask Neji—he's the student council president—for proof."

"So…" Jiraiya twirled a finger in the air. "You're saying, Uchiha didn't beat the crap out of you?"

Naruto nodded his head stiffly.

"Huh, well. How about that." Jiraiya mused, grinning wickedly. "Unfortunately, there were too many eyewitnesses to your little scuffle back there, so we can't really dismiss this case without proper disciplinary measures."

The two boys kept silent, unable to find a proper response.

"How about I suspend the both of you?"

Naruto's head whipped up in alarm.

"Wait! I… Please, could you give us another chance?"

"You should have thought of that before you got into a fight, blondie." Jiraiya clucked his tongue. "A week's suspension and a written apology to each other."

Naruto paled at the thought. A week's suspension! If the Harunos hear about this…

"Please!" Naruto grabbed at Jiraiya's hand as he was making his way towards the door. "I… I'm sorry, I won't do it again. Please, just… I'll do anything!"

"What's the matter, blondie? No big deal, you're just going to take a break from school. I won't even let it go down on your official record. Okay?"

Naruto was just about to get on his knees when Sasuke abruptly stepped up to interrupt him.

"Two weeks detention and an oral warning." The Uchiha declared.

"Mm, and a written apology to each other." Jiraiya said gamely.

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"And a letter of apology to each other." He agreed begrudgingly.

Naruto clapped his hands, hardly daring to believe it.

"Oh, and new rule. You two will pair up on every official project for the whole semester." Jiraiya grinned smugly. "To, uh, build camaraderie."

"What?" Naruto's face fell.

"Problem?"

"No!" He said quickly, grabbing Sasuke by the neck and pulling him close. "Nope! We're going to be best friends, right Uchiha?"

The dark-haired boy looked annoyed but didn't say anything and Naruto counted that as a victory.

"I look forward to it." Jiraiya waved them off. "Now, go get something for that nasty bruise of yours and don't show up here again for at least a month, got that?"

"You got it!" Naruto yelled, already halfway out the door. The faster he was out of there, the better he would feel.

"Ah, that was close." Naruto sighed, crumpling to his knees outside the principal's office.

Sasuke shut the door behind him at a more leisurely pace. He barely glanced at the blond and turned to walk away the other direction. Naruto watched his retreating back with mixed feelings. His stomach still hurt from the knee-kick a while back and Naruto still wanted to punch him, given the opportunity… but somehow, Naruto was walking away from this fiasco with barely a slap on the wrist. The chaos of the fight between them overshadowed the fact that he had been nearly accused of hurting Sakura—oh.

Oh.

"Hey!"

Naruto stumbled over himself to catch up to the Uchiha. Wide-eyed and mind racing, he raised an incredulous finger at the boy.

"Y-you… you…"

Sasuke looked like he was about to murder him, but Naruto didn't even flinch at the glare aimed his way. His mind was spinning with so many preposterous ideas and what the hell, it can't be, he couldn't have picked a fight with him on purpose… could he?

Sasuke took one look at his expression and promptly hit him on the head.

"Ow!" Naruto cried in indignation,

"Don't get any stupid ideas, dobe." His face was fucking scary. "Get your stupid face out of my way. So annoying. Ugh."

"Your face is so annoying!" Naruto yelled after him, rubbing the tender spot on his head.

He waited until the Uchiha disappeared into a corner before allowing a wide smile to break out his face.

"Thanks, bastard."