Chapter 17
Arcee awoke the next morning, happy and well rested from a good night's sleep. She stretched, yawning as she did and turned to her partner.
"Good morning babe" she said, slowly opening her eyes. She was surprised to see no one on the bed with her and she instantly sat up, looking around the room.
Jack was nowhere to be seen but it looked like he had gotten up early. The window was open, letting in the light from the early sun's rays while birds chirped outside in a steady rhythm.
Arcee sighed, hoping she could have some quality time with her boyfriend in the morning but it seemed like that wouldn't be happening. She pulled off the blanket and stood up, feeling a chill wash over her unclothed body from the open window.
Oh yeah, I'm naked.
A smile came across her face as she remembered the events of last night. She and Jack had finally done it, and while it may not have been for the intention to move further in their relationship, they had still made love to each other. Arcee could feel a tingling sensation from where Jack had touched her all across her body and she couldn't wait to see him today.
The former two-wheeler quickly grabbed some clothes and hit the shower.
...
A couple minutes later, Arcee walked downstairs and saw the rest of the gang eating breakfast.
"Good morning Arcee" June said, flipping a pancake. "You look very happy today."
"Had a good night's sleep and a recharged battery, why wouldn't I be?" she answered, leaving out the part about how she and Jack became intimate.
Arcee took a seat at the table with a happy sigh and took a sip of her milk. That's when she felt like she was being watched and she looked up. Wheeljack, Bulkhead, and Bumblebee were giving her a strange look as if they couldn't believe what they were seeing.
"Why are you so happy?" Bumblebee asked.
Arcee raised an eyebrow at the question. "No reason in particular, I just am."
"That doesn't make any sense at all." Wheeljack said. "Do you not remember anything that happened yesterday?"
"What happened yesterday?" Ratchet asked, intrigued by their conversation.
Wheeljack ignored him and asked again. "Arcee, remember anything from yesterday?"
The former two-wheeler thought for a bit. She had no idea at what he was hinting at, but his tone made it sound serious. She thought back to getting into bed, and the event that followed. She went further back to when she was crying into Jack's arms on the sidewalk and then...
Oh.
Wheeljack saw her facial expression change and knew that she remembered. In fact, they all remembered and it was something that plagued them during the night. Jack's sadistic look on his face when he beat on Vince, the color in his eyes right before he snapped his arm in two, and the stunned expression when he realized what he has done. The group did agree to never speak about it again but it's hard to not think about watching your friend brutally injure someone else.
"What happened yesterday?" Ratchet asked again, a little annoyance in his voice.
"Nothing important doc, just something funny that happened while in the mall."
The medic nodded his head, not wanting to dwell on the subject too much.
The group of Autobots ate in silence, each one of them thinking about their own things while June cooked up some more pancakes.
"Arcee, did you wake up Jack? He's going to miss school if he doesn't come down soon" the mother asked, turning the stove off and bringing over another plate.
"What? He wasn't in the room when I woke up." Arcee answered.
"Well he never came down because I was up at six" June said.
The two females looked at each other with the same expression before turning to the other Autobots.
"Don't look at us, we haven't seen him" Bulkhead said, raising his hands.
Arcee started to get worried. She dropped her fork and sprinted back up the stairs into their room. She looked around to see if maybe Jack was playing a prank on her but sure enough, he wasn't there. Next she checked the bathroom and the hallway but still no sign of him. She ran back downstairs to see everyone searching frantically around the house.
"Anyone find him?" Arcee asked out loud, earning 'no's' and head shakes.
"Um, I think I found something" Bumblebee said and everyone went over to him. The young scout moved the curtain and pointed to the curb. Because they had three cars, the Audi was usually parked inside the garage, followed by the Sedan and the Honda Civic on the curb. The problem was that the Honda Civic was nowhere to be found.
"Does Jack usually go on early morning rides?" Bulkhead asked.
"Not that I know of" June answered. "I'm sure he's fine and probably just out buying something from the market."
Arcee looked at the mother and knew that she was worried. She knew that because she was worried as well.
"I hope so."
...
Tell me, why are we sitting here again?
Because I need time to think.
What, did playing around with your girlfriend last night raise any alarms, or was it because you snapped someone's arm in half?
Jack didn't have an answer to that. Truth be told, it was both.
Can you be quiet for a bit so I can think?
Jack looked out at the morning desert, much more different than the usual night scene he and Arcee has seen countless times. It was still the same place; the hill top where they ended each of their dates, but the landscape felt different. The sun was shining brightly, attacking the ground except the shaded area Jack was sitting in. The birds and noises of nature were a lot louder than at night but Jack seemed to prefer it more.
Jack's mind was swirling in thoughts that he couldn't pinpoint. He felt like he was going crazy. His entire life, ever since he was experimented on by MECH, has been a complete mess. Arcee, the person he fell in love with and started a relationship with, is slowly getting pushed away by him, not by choice. While what happened yesterday should have brought them closer together, it didn't feel right. Jack's intention was not to make their relationship more intimate, but to ease his guilt. He gave her the enjoyment she was looking for, only because he didn't want her to feel like he didn't care for her. Their relationship looked as if it would never build up, and he knew exactly why.
The darkness. The evil inside of him that plagued his life, that stopped him from getting too close with Arcee. It had shown itself for the first time yesterday, and it has already made a deep scar. Jack knew that his friends, his family would never look at him the same way. They would either be terrified of him, or be worried for him, but either way it resulted in the same conversation. He would never tell them of why it happened or even how, partially because he didn't know either but mostly because he couldn't let the darkness affect their lives as well. He knew that if they learned of his secret, all would be different. They would treat him as if he was someone else, they would look to him as a damaged person rather than someone they could trust. Not only that but whatever would happen to him, would greatly influence the rest of them. He would not let that happen and for that reason, he was going to keep to himself.
Agent 000, tell me, why are you so drawn to this?
Jack held up the katana, the shiny metal blade glimmering in the sun's light. He had brought it along for some reason. Why? He wasn't quite sure, but when he woke up very early today, he felt attached to it so he took it with him. A couple weeks ago, after the events of the bank robbers, Jack had given the sword a complete wash, removing the blood and energon stains, much to Agent 000's dismay. He had called them memories of battle, like battle scars, but on his sword. Jack didn't buy it and told him that it was evidence of them being at the crime scene since the sword had the DNA of the six dead criminals. Reluctantly, the agent had complied saying that it was probably best for him to forget about his old self.
Well kid, take a look at the blade. Do you see how it shines in the sunlight?
Yeah, that's because I washed it.
No you're missing the point kid. The katana is an elegant weapon. It shows its beauty whenever it wants but can also be deadly when it needs to be. A single swing of the blade can cut down many men, but its shine cannot bring a single man down. It's the beauty in the contrast, the strong and the weak, that give it the properties of a katana.
Never knew you could get so poetic.
Me neither but they're words from the heart and soul. Now, tell me what you're planning on doing with it.
Nothing, I'm just looking at it.
Kid, you and I both know that that wasn't your intention.
Jack sighed knowing that the agent could read him like a book. It's true that bringing it along was no coincidence. In fact, it was a much darker reason for why he brought it along; one that he was too ashamed to think about any longer.
You were thinking about using it on yourself weren't you?
Jack sighed again.
...yeah...
And why did that idea come up into your mind?
I-I don't know. My life's just such a mess right now and I guess when I woke up to that realization, I felt like it would be easier if I just let go.
Kid, you need to learn that not everything in life is going to be easy. You're going to hit bumps in the road and it is up to you to get passed them to move forward. Take myself for example. What does life mean to me? Well, I was a science experiment that ended up becoming a second mind that shares your body. When I am not in control, I am a sub-conscious being just sitting around inside your head, watching and listening to everything you do. Tell me, do you call that a life?
Jack thought about the agent's words before answering.
No, not really. I'm sorry I've never looked at it that way.
Don't be sorry kid, that's just how life is. You responded exactly how I expected by saying that no, my life doesn't really count as a life. What you need to look at is the brighter side of things. I do consider my life to be genuine and that's because it was a miracle that I am here in the first place. MECH's original idea was to make you into a super soldier, not create a second persona inside of you. I think of my life to be a gift, one that I should be thankful for instead of depressed about. You're life is the same kid, in fact you have it better. You have a family to go back to, people who care about you. More importantly, you have a girlfriend; someone you can start a future with and someone who loves you and trusts you with their life. If you carried out your idea, what do you think would happen to them?
...I...I never thought about that.
Well you should have. Life is about pleasing others, not just yourself. I learned that during my time with you, kid. You've shown me something that goes against killing; you've shown me the meaning of life. Don't think for one second that I didn't notice you feeding me memories of your happy times, the memories of your joy and happiness at its finest. I noticed, and while I was very much against it at first, I slowly began to understand the meaning of them. Life is not something that is just handed around like flyers, it's something to be cherished, something to be protected. When I took lives away, I never thought about what was being lost. A life, a gift, completely wiped out by the force of my blade. I didn't regret anything then, but I do now and let me tell you, it hurts when I think back on it. Every single one of those men and women I struck down, each with their own stories, with their own families, who knows? Maybe with their own kids. There is nothing I wouldn't do to go back into the past and change what I did.
Jack didn't respond, instead he was pondering his words carefully.
Agent 000 didn't wait for him to answer and continued.
Kid, your life is nothing short of a wish come true. How many people have a girlfriend from another planet who just so happened to fall in love with you? How many people have heroes from another planet that they are proud to call their family? I'm just going to take a wild guess in saying only one person has those things, and that person is you.
Yeah, well how many people have to deal with a force of evil inside of them ready to burst at any moment?
Obstacles kid! Obstacles! That's what life is about! You learn to get around those obstacles to get something even greater in return! You are constantly thinking about the bad things in your life instead of considering the good. Answer these questions; do you have a family?
Yes.
Do you have people who care about you?
Yes.
Do you have people who you care about?
Yes.
Do you see my point? You have everything you need kid, and you better not take it for granted.
Ok, I get it now.
Good.
Jack stood up, holding the katana in front of him. He had to admit that Agent 000's speech was really well done and in truth, he no longer felt like his life was a mess. He turned the sword so he could see his own reflection inside of it. He smiled, and his reflection smiled back. He did have things to live for, he did have people to go back to, he did have someone who he cared about and he wasn't about to let them get away.
Agent 000.
What's up kid?
Thanks.
Jack couldn't see it, but he knew that the agent was smiling on the other side.
Anytime kid. Now we should probably get going. You're already going to miss first period and I'm pretty sure your mom's going to call the cops.
Jack laughed, he had a point.
Alright, let's go.
He put the katana back into its holder and headed down the hill. He was happy he had his talk with Agent 000, even if he was the last person he would expect it from. Although, there was something they forgot to talk about and it bothered him a little.
Agent 000, what are we going to do about the darkness inside?
Honestly, I thought you would have an answer to that instead of me. I'm not sure kid, I guess we can only hope that it doesn't come out again.
But you know that it will.
Yeah I know.
Jack jumped into his car in silence.
"We can only hope."
...
Agent 000 was right, Jack did miss first period. In fact, he missed the entire first half of school. When he called his mom and told her about it, she sounded sincerely angry but he could tell that she was just worried about him. Her anger was nothing compared to what the others did when they saw him.
Lunch had just rolled around and Jack entered the cafeteria quietly, not wanting anyone to recognize him yet. He saw his group of friends and family sitting at their usual lunch table with slightly saddened looks all over their faces. Once again, the guilt came back to him, remembering that they saw what he had done the other day.
Kid, they'll forgive you in time. Agent 000 said, reading his thoughts once again.
Jack took a deep breath and approached them from their blind spot. He snuck up directly behind Arcee and Bumblebee and waited for the perfect opportunity to show his presence.
"So you guys planning on doing anything over the spring break?" Miko asked the group.
"Not really sure Miko, when is it?" Bulkhead asked.
"Next week Bulk." The girl answered.
"That close? Well if we don't figure something out, Ratchet's going to blow a circuit when he finds out we're staying with him for a whole two weeks" Wheeljack said.
"I don't know about you guys but I have something planned."
The entire group jumped in surprise at Jack's voice and turned to see him standing there smirking.
"Jack!" they yelled in unison, smiles spread across their faces.
Arcee stood up and pulled him into a tight hug, not letting go.
"Sadie.. I...need to...breath!" he wheezed.
Arcee immediately loosened her grip and looked him right in the eyes.
"Where have you been?"
"I had to spend some time to think about some stuff."
The former two-wheeler sighed and pulled him into another hug, this one which Jack hugged back. Suddenly he felt her pull away and he opened his eyes to see her slug him right in the stomach.
"That's for making me worry" she said angrily before pulling him in for another hug.
"Fair enough" he just managed to spit out. Her hit had winded him and he could hear Agent 000 laughing inside of his head.
They held the embrace for a bit longer until Jack released her, turning to the group who was looking at him with happy smiles.
"Look guys, yesterday was... I just lost control. I let my emotions get the best of me and I hope you understand that that wasn't me." He started.
"Don't worry about it man, we all have those days" Wheeljack said.
"Yeah just forget about it Jack, we know that it wasn't you and we're glad your back" Raf added.
Jack started to smile at his friends' kind words. Just like Agent 000 had said, they were there for him whenever he needed them.
"Thanks guys, it means a lot." He said, taking a seat next to Arcee, completing the circle they made around the table.
"So, you said you have something planned for the spring break?" Miko asked, changing the subject.
"I do, but I don't want to reveal it until our family dinner"
"Family dinner?" Bulkhead questioned.
"Yeah, I called my mom earlier today and told her about it and she thought it would be a good idea. On Friday we'll get together, us humans and you Autobots and celebrate the times he had with each other." Jack explained.
The group nodded their heads and smiled, they thought it was a great idea as well.
"Can't wait" Arcee said, leaning in and holding his arm.
Jack was proud to call them his family.
...
Author's Note: Huh, so this is awkward. That's two chapters in a row that didn't end like I planned. Whatever, let's just roll with it. This chapter was supposed to set up Jack distancing himself from the rest of the gang but I guess it turned into Agent 000's speech about life. Well, I'm not going to change it, partially because I'm lazy but also because I got really deep with the anti-suicide thing and I feel like that's becoming a real issue in life right now. Not for me though so don't worry about it, but I'm referring to others out there who believe their lives are worthless.
Alright, you've heard enough dark twists from me for now. These next chapters should be much lighter and joyful than these ones. Although, I will tell you I foreshadowed an event that will take place near the end of the story. If you kind find it, good for you, if you can't, just keep reading along and you'll find out.
