Chapter Eleven: It's a Hard Road to Redemption
Leaving almost immediately, we made our way home, the remaining Dauntless feeling like they had purpose again. Helping Eric, his balance was off, making him struggle as he attempted to climb over and under rubble. After a while he was starting to get annoyed with me helping him, snapping at me despite me only wanting to help him. He was stubborn and perfectly capable of taking care of himself. I simply wanted to make it easier for him. He'd been through enough. All I wanted was make sure he knew he wasn't alone. Not to mention that Four had been right about some of our people not believing or accepting Eric. Some would pass him, a dangerous look in their eyes. Even I couldn't deny that Eric had hurt many people, and that there was an enormous amount of amends that he needed to make. But he would do it. He already said he would. For me. I'd never felt more special in my life then listening to the truth that spilled from his mouth. I had wanted to believe it but I never truly had. Now I did. I believed it with all of me.
"Stop it." Eric shot at me as I reached for him.
Sighing, I dropped my arm to my side, "I'm only trying to help you."
"I know." He said with a kind tone. "But I have a long road ahead of me and it doesn't do me any favors to have my woman constantly helping me. I am the malicious Eric."
Laughing, I moved closer to him, gripping his arm as I leaned up and kissed his cheek, "But you're all mine."
He smirked and kissed me properly. "I love you."
"I love you too."
"You're an idiot by the way."
"What?!" I chuckled. "Why am I an idiot?"
He stopped, making me stop next to him. For a long moment he just stared at me. I felt a blush start to rise in my cheeks. "You said it back in Amity."
Wrapping my arms around his waist, I leaned into him, "And why does that make me an idiot?"
"You threw me off. You made me want to throw everything away and go with you."
"You should've." I told him. "I needed you."
He nodded, kissing me deeply. "Only then you died. I killed you."
"Only a little bit." I smirked, trying to make light of it.
He smiled, unconsciously moving to touch me, only to be held back by the cuffs. In the next second he was struggling against them, yelling out when nothing happened.
"Stop it." I told him, moving behind him, slipping my hands into both of his. "Eric, stop." He did, bowing his head. His muscles were shaking from the sudden exertion. "Eric…" I said softly before bending down, putting his hand against my face.
"Pen." He said sadly, shaking his head.
Straightening, I pressed myself against his back, resting my head between his shoulder blades. "We're almost home." Pressing a kiss against him, I sighed, running my fingers across him as I moved to face him. "Just think of all the things I'll do to you when we get there. To our room. We can go to the Chasm where it all started." Wrapping my arm around him, I slipped my hand into his, putting my other on his shoulder as I leaned up and kissed him passionately.
"Pen!" Four's voice interrupted. "Let's go!"
Realizing we had been left behind, I sighed and nodded at him. Moving again, I rolled my shoulder to try and release some of my tension. I knew he was a leader of Dauntless now but he still didn't have to act the way he was. He had supported me in saving Eric. He had been kind about it. Only now he was cold and wanted nothing to do with him. Leaving him bound and marched back to Dauntless in front of everyone. If his goal was to humiliate him, it was working.
"Don't be mad at him." He told me.
"Why not?" I shot back. "He helped save you and now it's like you don't exist."
"He didn't save me for me. He saved me for you." He replied. "I don't give a shit about what he thinks of me. I got what I wanted."
Smiling at him, I wrapped my arm around him. "So did I. But I still don't appreciate my brother being an asshole toward you."
"I'm the asshole and I deserve his indifference. As well as everyone else's."
"No you don't." I retorted.
Smiling, he nudged me, his lips finding my neck, "You're the only one who thinks so."
Laughing, I pressed against his side, once again being interrupted. "You got a sec?" Zeke asked me.
"Yeah." I nodded, following him, glancing at Eric. I didn't feel comfortable leaving him, but he just nodded at me. Sighing, I nodded back, crossing my arms as I watched him walk away. "What is it, Zeke?" I was already feeling anxious having Eric out of sight.
"I think you should know that Eric wasn't telling you the entire truth." He told me.
"What are you talking about?" I frowned. "He can't fight the serum. He didn't even try."
"I know." He nodded. "But he didn't go into detail about all the shit he did. I was there, Pen. I was there and saw firsthand what he is capable of."
"I know what he's capable of. If I can forgive him for killing my sister I'm pretty sure I don't give a fuck about whatever it is you're talking about." I shot at him, attempting to move past him.
"Wait." He said holding up his hands.
"What, Zeke?" I frowned. "I don't care about what you have to say. I care about Eric and that's all the matters."
I attempted to move away from him again, but he gripped my arm, "Just wait."
"Get your hand off of me." I told him dangerously.
"It's better this way." He told me.
His jaw was tight and the look on his face was telling me something was wrong. Pulling away from him, I rushed after Eric, my heart feeling like it was going to beat out of my chest. They had already been out for blood and now I'd given them enough time to make good on their threat. Rushing around a corner, I saw him surrounded by six Dauntless. They were far enough from the rest of the group to draw any suspicions. They were beating him, sending him from one member to the next. Without saying anything, I darted down to them, swiftly breaking the arm of the first I encountered, the leg of another, catching the fist of the third, bending their arm against their back, threatening to pop it out of the socket.
"Stop what you're doing or I will continue to give you what you deserve." I told them calmly.
"He doesn't deserve to live." One said, holding his arm against his chest.
Eric was on the ground, coughing, blood falling down his brow and chin. "You need to get over it. He's alive and will remain alive as long as I'm still breathing. Come for him again and I'll kill you myself." I told them, popping the shoulder out of place and shoving him to the ground. The other three helped their wounded and left.
"Opie." Four said rushing into sight.
"If you plan to lead these people than you should start to fucking control them." I shot at him. When he didn't say anything, I turned and went to Eric, helping him to his feet as I assessed his injuries.
"Don't be so hard on him." Eric told me softly as I gently touched his wounds, making him grimace. "He's gone against everything he knows by letting me live."
"I know." I told him. "I simply don't care." I added, frowning as I look at his brow. They had torn his piercing out and it was bleeding more than I would have liked.
"You do." He smiled.
Meeting his eyes, I sighed, but wasn't as sure as he was. "The only thing I care about is you."
"I'm flattered." He smiled.
"And also bleeding." I replied still frowning.
He pressed a kiss against my forehead. "I'll be okay."
Running my hand down his chest, I put my arm around him, keeping him tight against my side. He attempted to make small talk, lightening the mood, but I wasn't in the mood. All I could do was watch everybody as if they were going to make a move against him. Following our own people made me more anxious than I liked. Feeling like we were still going to have to fight to survive. The thought made me refuse to take a single step away from Eric's side, not about to let anything else happen to him.
When home finally came into sight, a wave of relief when through me. I wanted Eric freed. I wanted to see my room. I wanted my bed. I wanted my mural. I wanted the many faces of Eric. More than all of that, I wanted to spend the night with the man I loved, once again feeling his hands against me. The feeling of my skin against his. The euphoria of his lips…
"We're home. Cut him loose." I told Four. He just looked at me with a hard glare. Tris was at his side, looking much the same. She hated Eric and he had done very little to her since she arrived. If anything Tris had caused more damage than Eric had. She had put the Divergent into motion and most followed her as if she were something special. Even if she was, she meant little to me. "Cut him loose." I repeated. Tori stepped up behind me, cutting the ties that bound him. "Thank you." I told her.
Eric's hands were immediately on me, pulling me against his chest, "Come on."
Taking my hand, I put my other against his bicep as I hugged his arm against my chest. His grip was tense, tightening whenever we passed a group of people. Moving with purpose, he led me down the familiar route, practically running as we reached my door. Opening it, everything looked just like it had when I had left it. Stepping in, I couldn't help but smile. I was so relieved to be back in this room. Looking at Eric it would appear the same was for him. Running my hand along the red comforter, moving to my mural, I looked at it with fresh eyes. Then my eyes fell upon the curtain, knowing what lay behind it. Holding my hand out to Eric, he took it, letting me lead him to it.
"I never showed you this." I told him, giving it a good yank, making it rip off the pole. Behind it was Eric and all the expressions I'd ever seen him make.
"Pen." He said stepping up to it. There was a long pause before he smirked at me. "I can't decide if I should be flattered or really creeped out." Laughing, I wrapped my arms around his, leaning against his shoulder. "When did you do this?"
"After capture the flag." I replied, my lips against him. "That was a very interesting night."
"I fell in love with you that night." He stated as he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me against his chest. "Sitting with you on top of the Ferris Wheel. The moon shining in your hair." He smiled, putting his hand against my face. "You were so annoyed with me and yet all I could think was how I didn't want to go one more day without you."
"But you did." I told him. "You broke up with me after that."
He sighed, nodding as he rested his forehead against mine. "I needed you to be safe. I needed you to be whole. I was willing to let you go if it guaranteed both of those."
"But it didn't last." I smiled, bringing my hands to his face.
"That's because I love you more than anything." He whispered to me.
For a moment my breath caught, my heart racing as warmth ran through me. "Kiss me." I whispered back.
His arms enveloped me as he kissed me passionately. Wrapping my arms around him, I pressed myself as close to him as I could get. Pulling me to the bed, he picked me up, kneeling on it as he lowered both of us down on top of it. His hand moved up my shirt, his tongue slipping into my mouth. I was already wet for him, wanting nothing more than to have him inside of me. Pulling on his pants, we quickly undressed, the feeling of his skin against mine euphoric.
"I love you, Eric." I told him.
"I love you, Pen."
Then he was inside of me. Moaning with pleasure, he was slow and steady, our lips brushing every piece of flesh they could reach. Arching against him, my lips found his again, his taste and breath flooding my senses. I hadn't truly felt happy since I was forced to leave him. Now he was once again in my arms and I never wanted to let him go.
After we had sufficiently exhausted each other, he held me in his arms, my back pressed against his chest as he trailed his fingers up and down my arm. Taking his hand, I kissed the palm of it, hugging it to my chest. His lips found my neck, pressing his face there as he sighed contentedly.
"I was afraid this would never happen again." He told me softly.
"Me too." I replied. "But if I couldn't save you, I was going to follow you." He tensed, holding me tighter against him. "I know." I added, trailing my fingers across his skin. "But you kinda mean everything to me."
His lips were against my neck again, breathing me in. "You mean everything to me too. I can't even begin to describe how amazing you feel."
Rolling, I wrapped my arm around him, putting my leg between both of us. "I know exactly what you mean." I smiled, kissing him deeply.
"You should sleep." He told me.
Laughing lightly, I shook my head, "And miss out on staring at you all night? I don't think so. We've been apart long enough. I'm not missing a single moment with you tonight."
He smiled, brushing the back of his fingers across my cheek, "You're so sentimental."
"You've become a bit soft too." I replied, raising a brow at him.
"Only around you." He replied and was kissing me again.
Rolling him, our lips never stopped as I straddled him, my hands moving across every inch I could reach. Bringing my hand to his hair, I pulled his head back, trailing the ball of my tongue ring up his chest to his neck, biting his chin before I took his mouth in mine once more. His hands gripped my sides tightly before moving around me, cementing me to his chest.
When our lips finally slowed, I rested myself against him, hugging his shoulders as he pressed his lips against my hair. "I love you, Pen."
"I love you, Eric." I told him, starting to drift off, fighting it.
"Go to sleep." He whispered.
"You're going to be here when I wake up, right?" I asked him.
"Always." He whispered, pulling the sheet over us.
Falling asleep, I stayed on top of him, loving the rise and fall of his chest and the sound of his breathing and the beating of his heart. All of it was like a lullaby. At the same time, I had this sickening feeling that he was going to wander away from me as soon as I was asleep. Since I was lying on top of him, I hoped that I'd wake up to every move he made.
His whole life had been turned upside down and neither of us knew where he should start in proving his loyalty and making his amends. One thing at a time. But I wanted to be there with him – for him – to help him in any way that I could. He was doing all of this for me. I had never felt as desired or as needed until him. If he could change everything for me, it was only fair that I did everything I could to support him. But more than that I wanted to protect him. I didn't think Zeke would be the last to make a move against him.
It seemed my thoughts were proven right when I woke up alone. I wasn't surprised but highly annoyed. He had still managed to slip away despite the fact that I was literally lying on top of him. Sighing, I sat up, listening to the apartment. It was still dark out and it was far too quiet for him to still be inside of it. Getting up, I quickly got dressed. Making sure the apartment was empty; I left the room, jogging through the halls in search of him. Going to his apartment, I found it empty as well. Turning to leave, I couldn't help but stop, taking in the shelves of books, the dark comforter laying askew on the bed. Stepping up to it, I picked up one of his shirts, pressing it against my face so I could take in his scent. Taking it with me, I went toward the Pit wondering if he had gone for food. None of us had eaten much since we'd left. I was nearly there when I heard the commotion. I dared to hope that it wasn't him, but I knew that it was. The closer I got the more sure I was. It was Eric and something was wrong. Rushing forward, it was faint, coming from the bottom of the Chasm. Rushing down the path, knowing it well, I reached the bottom to see nearly a dozen Dauntless in a circle, Eric in the middle of them.
"Stop!" I yelled pushing through them.
"Pen." Eric said reaching for me.
"He's been pardoned. Leave him the hell alone." I told our people.
They all exchanged a look. "Two for the price of one." One told me.
Eric and I looked at each other. "Ready?" He asked.
"Split it down the middle?" I smiled.
He went left, I went right. I hadn't even landed a blow when I was punched, landing on my stomach. My side was kicked several times before I was back on my feet. Spinning under an arm, I gripped the wrist, breaking his arm at the elbow. Kicking out his leg, I yanked him in front of me as a foot attempted to make purchase against my face. Punching him, he faltered, allowing me time to kick his chest, sending him backward. Hearing a feral cry, I turned to see a woman coming for me now. Her hair was long and untied, making it too easy to grip it, yanking it, forcing her onto her back. Her head slammed against the rock, knocking her out. Before I could make another move, arms wrapped around me and I was spun, knuckles finding my face and stomach.
"Make her watch!" One yelled.
Seeing Eric, they had his arms as he lay on his stomach, his head over the edge, water lapping at him, ready to devour him. "Eric! Let him go!"
"Drown him." Another said, stepping forward to watch.
His head was thrust into the water. He struggled against them but it was three to one. "Stop!" I screamed. "Let him go! Eric!"
Then there was a flash and I was released. Rushing forward, I slammed myself into one of those who were holding Eric, not flinching as he fell into the Chasm and disappeared. Kicking another in the face, he fell backward while the third fled, realizing that help had arrived. Gripping Eric, I yanked him out of the water. He coughed up water before his chest stopped moving. "Come on, baby. You can do it." I said slapping his cheek. He coughed up a little more water, though no air was getting into his lungs. Pinching off his nose, I put my mouth over his; breathing into him, water spilling from his mouth as I leaned away from him, rolling him until the water stopped. "There you go, baby. Keep it up." Nothing. Breathing into him again, even more water spilled from his mouth, making me roll him again. Then he started to cough, taking in a large gasp. "That's it, that's it. Just breathe, Eric." I told him. "Just breathe, baby."
"Is he okay?" Claude said dropping to her knees on his other side.
"Yeah." I told her, staring at Eric. "He'll be okay."
"Pen." Eric said turning into my chest as he wrapped his arms around me.
Pressing my lips against his forehead, I did the same, gently rocking him, "I'm right here. Everything's going to be okay. You're going to be okay." Then his arms lid off of me as he fell unconscious. He was breathing normally, his brows furrowed. "What are we gonna do?" I whispered to him.
"Pen! Pen!" Henry's frantic voice called as he came into sight. Four and Tris weren't far behind him.
"Take him." I told Claude.
She swiftly took Eric from my arms. Getting to my feet, Henry moved to grip my arm, but I avoided his touch. Un-phased by my adverseness to him, he fell in step just behind me as I moved with purpose toward Four. He opened his mouth to say something but I shut him up, punching him hard in the mouth. He stumbled backward, Tris wrapping her arms around him to keep him steady. He paced away from her, his hand against his mouth. She opened her mouth to defend him, but she got the same treatment as I punched her hard across the cheek. Nodding, rubbing my hand, I clenched my jaw as tears filled my eyes.
"That's twice in less than 24 hours that an attempt has been made against Eric's life." I told them. "I was under the impression that because of the truths he told he would be safe. Safe with his own people."
"Pen." Tori said appearing. The blond, ponytailed Harrison with her.
"I don't want to hear anything you have to say." I shot at her. "If you all are going to lead Dauntless than who the hell is letting these members attack one of their own with the intention to kill?"
"We didn't know." She frowned sadly.
"They were going to kill me too." I frowned back, starting to shake with both fear and anger. "Two for the price of one."
"Opie." Four said stepping up to me.
Wiping the tears from my cheeks, I glared up at him, "Did you send them?"
"What? No." He frowned.
"You never wanted him to live." I stated as more tears fell. "They nearly killed him, Four. Twice. Do you really hate him enough to have me killed as well?"
"I would never let anyone hurt you."
"You hurt me." I shot at him. "All of you do every time to make a move against him. He hasn't even been given a chance to prove the words he has spoken. I understand that some of our people still don't believe him. But you need to lead them. Show them that he is being given a chance."
"It's not as easy as just saying it. Everyone heard him. But he has offended many among us. He shot you." He frowned.
"It was an accident." I shot at him.
"And Maggie?"
Hitting him again, harder, he just nodded, meeting my eyes. "Do not bring her into this. You know better than that." I shot at him. "If I can forgive him for killing my sister than everyone else can put their petty shit behind them and see that he is just a man. He is not as horrible as everyone thinks he is. And he has far more in common with you than you know." He just frowned at me. "Maybe that's why he's never cared for you. But you both have similar family history. Only instead of one parent abusing him, he had two." I told him, scoffing and shaking my head, so disgusted with my own people. "You all judge him for who he is but you never stopped to ask why. There are reasons he is the way he is. The way he was. I've broken down all those walls and love him for everything he is. Even after knowing what he has done. You heard it from his own lips. He believed what he was doing was right. How can you condemn him when he didn't know any better?"
"He knew better." Tris shot at me. "You're just being naïve, blinded by your feelings for him."
Moving to hit her again, Four stepped between us, putting his hands on my arms. "I had nothing to do with the attempts made against him. And those who were involved will be punished."
Keeping his eyes, I wanted to believe him, but right now I felt like the only person I could trust was the one person they all hated. "If you do not keep your word than I will do what I have to do to keep him safe."
"Opie, I know what he means to you. I know the feeling." He said looking at Tris. "And after what he said, I would never hurt you that way. I am willing to give him a chance. I wouldn't risk my relationship with you. I know what his death would mean for you. It would mean the same for me."
Nodding at him, I took a slow deep breath, "Okay."
"You're my family, Pen. I'll protect him because you love him. And I love you."
"Thank you." I smiled, putting my arms around his neck. "I love you too, Tobias." Taking another deep breath, I nodded at him again as my smile fell. "I love him, Four. Please don't let this happen again. Please don't let our own people take him away from me."
"I won't." He said pressing a kiss against my forehead.
"If I have to I'll take him and leave." I stated. "I don't want to leave you. I don't want to leave my family. But if peace can't be found, I will take him and go."
"I understand." He nodded, wrapping his arm around me. "Let's get him out of here."
Between us, Claude, and Henry, we managed to carry him up the narrow path and back to my apartment. Laying him gently on the bed, I ran my fingers through his hair, leaning down and pressed a kiss against his forehead, briefly resting mine against it before I faced the others.
"Thank you." I told them, wrapping my arms around myself, rubbing my arm.
"It's gonna be okay." Four told me, putting his hand against my arm as he pressed a kiss against my forehead.
"Sure." I nodded at him, gently pushing him away from me.
"Opie." He frowned back at me.
"Please." I said shaking my head at him.
Claude stepped up to me, hugging me tightly, "If you need anything just let me know."
"I will." I smiled at her. Henry took a step toward me but I swiftly put my hand up. "I've tolerated you enough today. Just go."
His demeanor deflated and he nodded, swallowing hard as he stared at me. Four took a step toward him and he swiftly turned and left. Sighing heavily, rubbing between my brows, I was fighting the tears that wanted to spill.
"I'm sorry." Four told me.
"I'm sure you are." I stated, feeling completely drained. "You already told me you hold no good feelings toward him."
"Pen."
"You're my best friend. My brother. But I just…I'm not sure I trust you as much as I used to. This whole thing is making me differently about our entire family. After losing Eric, then Henry, only to get Eric back and nearly lose him again. I've fought so hard and now I feel like I'm losing is you and I don't want to."
"You're not losing me." He replied.
"You're with Tris and we don't get along. You're a leader of our faction and have allowed the love of my life to nearly die. Twice. You're so concerned about what your father and your mother are doing that you're ignoring what's going on in your own little family."
"Where are you going with this?" He frowned.
"I don't know." I said shaking my head. "Nowhere. I'm just talking to you."
"I already told you that I had nothing to do with what happened today. Either time. Don't blame me for the actions of others. Just because I am one of our new leaders doesn't mean I'm to blame." He told me angrily.
He may have a good point but I wasn't about to admit to that. Not yet. Right now I was still angry and disappointed. Momentarily shutting my eyes, Eric flashed behind my lids, his head in the water. Jerking, I opened my eyes, looking at him. Tightness filled my chest and I bit my bottom lip.
"He's going to be okay, Pen. As bad as it seemed, he's going to be completely fine."
"That's not the point." I snapped at him. "Just go."
"Pen."
Meeting his eyes, I glowered at him, "Go, Tobias."
Following him to the door, as soon as he was through, I quickly shut and locked it. Taking a deep breath, I looked at Eric. He was alive and he was okay, but the fear in my chest seemed to grow. Sliding down the door, I put my hand against my head, my elbow on my knee as I started to sob. They were going to make me watch him die before they killed me too. If the others hadn't shown up when they did than both Eric and I would be floating in the Chasm. Letting the fear take over, I sobbed, rocking back and forth as I hit my head against the door, wanting to knock the memories from my brain.
When the tears finally stopped, I felt so exhausted and drained and yet I was too afraid to sleep. Stripping Eric of his wet clothes, I put clean ones on him, covering him up to his shoulders to keep the chill of the water at bay. Crawling onto the bed next to him, I propped myself against the headboard. Wrapping my arm around him, I ran my fingers through his hair, down his face, across his chest. Seeing the raven on his arm, I ran my fingers across it, remembering when I had put it there. It seemed like a lifetime ago. A time when we weren't in love. A time where we hardly liked each other at all. Then somewhere along the way things changed. He let me in and showed me everything he was, finding that he was far more light and not the darkness I had thought him to be. He was everything a man should be. Now more than ever I knew that I had found the one person I would spend the rest of my life with.
The night wore on and I couldn't sleep even if I wanted to. I was so tired but every time I closed my eyes the night would replay itself. For as bad as it had been, it could have been ten times worse. They could have simply shot him. Stabbed him. Shoved him into the Chasm. The worst part was the fact that they wanted to watch it happen. They wanted it slow and physical. They wanted to feel the life go out of him. I knew that some hated him, but this? This was past simple hate. They were out for revenge on whatever Eric may or may not have done to them. For all I knew he was wrongly accused. At the same time I knew he was responsible for a lot of our faction's pain. Whether it be his actions or his indifference. He watched pain being inflicted and did nothing to stop it. I knew that. I had experienced that. I remember him watching us during our initiation. I remembered what Neely looked like after he was done with her.
I remembered a lot of things.
But now I couldn't imagine my life without him. I would remain at his side and I would fight for him. I would fight with him. Whether it was right or wrong. Whether people hated me for it or not. This man was the most important thing in my life. That's what made tonight so unbearable. The thought of him being taken from me. And despite the fact that he was perfectly fine, every time he was too still my heart would race. For a moment I'd panic, only then he'd move or make a noise and I'd calm down again. Gently rubbing his chest, he sighed, moving his hand to mine, gripping it, his thumb brushing across my skin before he relaxed in sleep again.
Watching the run rise, he was still sleeping soundly. Part of me was worried that he shouldn't be sleeping this long. But at the same time, I didn't know the last time he'd had a good night sleep. For all I knew he hadn't slept for days except for the small time I held him in his cell. Deciding he needed the sleep, I started to trail my fingers up and down his arm, watching him sleep. I took in the crease in his forehead, the length of his eyelashes, the curve of his lips…
"Stop staring." He told me without opening his eyes.
Starting a little, I smiled as I leaned down, resting my lips against his forehead, "I can't help it. You're just too damn sexy not to stare at." He rolled over, putting his head in my lap as he wrapped his arm around me. "How are you feeling?" I asked as I trailed my nails up and down his back.
"I'm sorry." He told me sadly, pulling my arm underneath his head.
Running my thumb across him as I gripped him back, I ran my fingers through his hair with the other, "It wasn't your fault."
"Yes it was." He told me. "I deserved it."
Holding my breath, I tried to keep myself from going from a three to an eleven. The effort to not let anger and fear rule me made me start to shake and tears filled my eyes. They were going to kill him and he though he deserved it. He clearly hadn't been paying attention when I told him how much he meant to me.
"You're shaking." He told him softly.
"You deserved it?" I frowned, my voice thick with emotion.
"Baby." He said gripping me tighter.
"You have no idea how scared I was, Eric." I told him. "They were going to kill you and they were going to make me watch it."
"And because of me they were going to kill you too." He replied, rolling onto his back so he could look at me.
Moving him from my lap, I sat up, turning to him as he did the same. "Eric, for a moment you weren't breathing." I told him, tears falling without permission. "At the time I managed to keep it together and even though you're okay, I am terrified of losing you. Do you understand what it would do to me if you died? You say I'm all that matters to you, then prove it. Stop doing reckless things and keep yourself safe."
"Because I asked to be confronted at the Chasm. I totally wanted to have to fight for my life and for yours." He shot back at me angrily. "I thought you were dead and now that I know you're alive, I will do anything to keep you that way."
Emotion was starting to win out and tears started to fall faster, "You dying will only kill me faster."
He frowned, pulling me to him. Wrapping my arms around him, he held me firmly against his chest. "I'm not going anywhere." Him saying that only made the tears come faster. They turned into sobs as I gripped him as tightly as possible. "I think this is scarier than nearly drowning." He stated teasingly. "I don't know how to deal with tears."
Leaning away from him, I wiped them away, putting my hand against his face. "I'm sorry." I told him.
"Those feelings for me are really kicking your ass." He smirked. I tried to smile but instead more tears fell. "Baby." He frowned.
"I'm sorry." I told him again. "I just – I can't imagine – you not being here." I stammered through my emotions. "I finally have you back and they – they're already trying to tear us apart."
"Stop." He told me gently. Taking my hands, he pressed a kiss against them before hugging them against his chest. "I'm right here."
Nodding, I took a deep breath. "Sorry, I'm just being a girl about nearly losing my boyfriend for all eternity." I replied with annoyance, getting out of bed, pacing at the end of it.
He sat up, frowning at me. "And now you're mad at me?"
"I know you're not really the emotional type and you really don't like the whole crying thing and I don't like crying. But I guess I thought you might be a little concerned for your life." I shot at him, still pacing.
"I'm not so much concerned about mine as I am about yours." He replied.
"And you have become my life!" I yelled at him. He just smiled at me. "Stop it." I frowned.
"Why?" He asked.
"Because I can't be annoyed or mad at you when you look at me like that."
"Then get naked and get back in this bed."
I couldn't help but smile, looking at him like he was crazy, "I'm not going to have sex with you."
"Why not?" He frowned.
"Because you nearly died last night and I'm freaking out about it." I frowned back at him.
He smiled again, slowly getting out of bed, stepping up to me. "I'm sorry." He said taking my hands. "I'm not freaking out about it because part of me feels like I deserve it." I opened my mouth to retort but he swiftly raised his hand. "And I know you don't agree with that but you're the only one." He said taking my head in his hands. "Baby, you're the only one that thinks I'm worth keeping around."
"Everyone else will see it too. We'll make them." I said running my hands up and down his chest. "And if they can't, we'll leave."
"And go where?"
"Anywhere with you will do." I said kissing him deeply.
He shook his head. "I don't deserve you."
"I know."
"I'm starving." He said taking my hand.
"We need to shower first." I stated.
"Sex?" He asked with raised brows.
Narrowing my eyes at him, I tried not to give in too easily, but failed miserably. He was just too damn adorable. "Fine." I told him. He grinned and practically yanked me off my feet as he pulled me toward the bathroom. "Glad you're feeling better."
