Chapter Sixteen: The Meaning of Fear
Moving forward, attempting to be as quiet as possible, I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Our eyes darted back and forth as we made sure we hadn't been stopped yet. Reaching the doors, we pushed through them, ready for anything. There was a reception type desk with one person sitting behind it. She barely had enough to look up before I put a bullet in her head. Jogging toward the stairs, we moved up them in an attempt to find the cells. Four and Tris would more than likely be there and I just hoped that Four would know where Eric was.
Moving through the floors, we took down several Dauntless traitors, not finding anything. Looking at Claude, her muscles were taught, her expression focused and yet I could see the regret. She shouldn't be here. I told her to stay with Terra. We'd been together since the beginning of our time in Dauntless, but her loyalties should have shifted, just as mine had. She was family, but I had willingly left her to find Eric. She had stayed behind in Dauntless when Terra failed initiation. I should have let her go with her. So many things could be different and yet here we were, marching into the one place that we shouldn't be. Now my own regret was starting to fill me. We shouldn't be here. I should have given him more time. I should have given Four more time. But it was too late to turn back now. We were here. We'd already let our presence be known. We were screwed.
Claude turned her head and met my eyes. Both of us furrowed our brows, sighing, before nodding. We needed to get it done. Forcing a look of determination, I nodded at her again. She smirked, checked the clip in her gun, and then we picked up the pace. Though I felt my determination faltering just slightly when we had still come up empty. Only then there was a sound. Someone was banging against a door. Stopping, we listened before exchanging another look before we darted toward the sound. If it was Four or Tris than our luck just changed. For all we knew, Eric had been found out and he was in one of these cells too. Though the thought made my stomach drop and my feet move faster.
Turning down a hall, we both stopped as we took in rows of cells. There was whispering and soft muttering. Coughs and crying and whimpering. Wanting to call out, I knew it would be too risky, rushing forward, looking into the cells. I didn't know any of them. None of them were my family.
"Eric." I called softly. "Four." Nothing. "Tris."
"Hey. Hey!" A voice yelled.
Moving toward the sound, there was a timid looking girl staring at me through the window.
"Please help me." She said softly. "Please."
"Pen." Claude said sadly, looking to see her in front of the cell of a young man. He was pleading for her to open the door.
"Which faction are you from?" I asked the girl in front of me.
"Dauntless."
Sighing with relief, I nodded at her, "Where is Four? Have you seen Eric?"
"I don't know where Four is." She told me. "I heard him briefly earlier but…" She added and trailed off. "And I did see Eric. He was with Jeanine. She was talking very…animatedly with him."
What did that mean?
"Pen." Claude repeated. "They're not here and we don't have time."
Nodding at her, I turned back to the girl. She was starting to cry. Nodding, I gave her the best smile I could. "I'll be back for you." I told her.
"No!" She cried, looking terrified. "Please don't go!"
"I have to." I replied gently, pressing my hand against the glass. "But I will be back for you. I promise."
"No!"
"Pen." Claude said again and started to move.
Swiftly following her, we kept moving, checking each cell that we passed. There was far more than I thought there would be. Hallways of cells. Not sure where to even begin, we moved down them, still searching for our missing family. The longer it took the more I felt like we were going to be found and shot down before we saw them again. Before I saw Eric again. Fear started to seep into me. Only not only for Eric, or Four, or Tris, but for me and Claude as well. This was a stupid plan. I wanted to be with him. I did. Only now it seemed like the weight of what that really meant was starting to sink in.
Shaking my head, I looked at Claude, "I'm sorry."
"Don't, Pen. Not right now."
"We shouldn't be here. I should never have asked you to do this." I told her.
"Enough." She shot at me. "I'm going to see Terra again. I left her behind to do this with you. You're my family. You have been since day one. That's why I'm here. I don't want you to all of a sudden start doubting us. Or to doubt them. We're here. We'll find them. Then we're getting the hell out of here. Understand me?"
Smiling, I nodded at her, "Yeah. I understand."
She smiled back, only then we heard a gunshot. It was swiftly followed by a voice I recognized. Peter. My stomach dropped as my head shot toward the sound. Then I was running. Pushing myself as fast as was humanly possible, I felt like my feet were barely touching the floor. Then another voice reached my ears. Four. He was saying Eric's name. Panic started to course through me and I felt like I couldn't breathe.
"No." I whispered as I rounded a corner and they all came into sight. Eric was on the floor, Peter standing over him with Four kneeling at his shoulder, and there was red moving out from underneath him. Nearly falling as I raced toward him, the gun fell from my hands as I screamed his name. It felt like it took forever to reach him, feeling like everything was in slow motion. The panicked look on Peter's face. Four looking up at me, worry and pain in his expression. "Eric!" I yelled sliding onto my knees, taking his head in my hands. "Eric." He wasn't breathing. "No, no, no, no. Eric!" I screamed, shaking his shoulders.
"You shouldn't be here." Four stated.
"He's not dead." Peter told me.
"Eric! Wake up!" I yelled in a panic, his head once again in my hands. "He's not breathing! Eric, you have to breathe!"
"Pen, he's not dead." Peter repeated. I frowned up at him, tears hot on my cheeks. "I used the same thing on Tris. It's a paralytic."
Looking at Tris, she was breathing hard, looking like hell. Four now had her in his arms, looking at me sadly. Shaking my head, I lifted Eric into my arms, rocking as I put my hand against his face. Running my thumb across his cheek, I stared at him. I thought I'd never see him again, only now he was back in my arms. I could feel his blood sliding down my arm. His face was relaxed but just as beautiful as ever. I loved him. My heart felt like it was shattering at the possibility that I was going to have to say goodbye to him. I hadn't come here to let him die. I had come to save him. To save them all. And now he wasn't breathing.
"Wake up." I told him. "Baby, please, wake up. Eric, you can't do this to me. Open your eyes. Just breathe, Eric. Breathe!" Shaking him again, I pressed my forehead against his as I continued to rock, sobbing, my tears falling against his face.
"It'll wear off." Peter told me, though his tone wasn't nearly as confident.
"Pen." Four said helping Tris off the gurney she had been on.
"He'll wake up." I said staring at Eric, my voice shaking. "He'll wake up."
"I had to use a higher dose to make him go down faster. I shot him to keep up appearances." Peter explained. "He – he was going to stay behind to cover our tracks before he took off."
"He'll wake up." I repeated as tears streamed down my face. Time seemed stand still and speed up at the same time. Minutes passed and we couldn't afford to stay in one place for long. They would know we're here and they would be looking for us. We needed to get out of here. We needed to get Eric out of here. Even if he was dead I wasn't going to leave him here. I would never leave him.
"Opie." Four said kneeling next to me. "We have to go."
"I'm not leaving him. He'll wake up."
"If he was, he would have by now." Four told me gently. "We have to go. I'm so sorry."
"No you're not." I shot at him. "You wanted this. You never wanted him to live anyway. Then he offers to help you and you led him to his death."
"He was brave, Opie. He knew what he was doing."
"And you didn't think to have his back?" I glared at him. "All you care about is your precious Tris. You didn't stop to consider what would happen if he died. After everything, you knew what he meant me. You knew, Four, and you didn't care." I told him as sobs started spill from me. "You knew and you led him here and now he's gone. Tris is not the only thing that matters. Eric matters to me, Four. He matters to me and you let him die you son of a bitch!"
"Pen, I didn't mean for this. This was not my plan."
"He trusted you!" I yelled. "He wanted to make amends so badly and now he's dead! Because of you!" Shaking started to take over as the tears came faster. I pulled Eric tightly against me, his head falling to the side. Taking a deep breath, getting myself as under control as I could muster, I looked at Four, nodding. "You should go."
"Not without you." He frowned.
"I'm not going anywhere with you." I told him.
"Pen." Claude said sadly. "Don't do this."
Scoffing, I looked up at her. "Go with them. Go back to Terra. Tell Tori I'm sorry. But I'm not going anywhere without Eric. If he's dead so be it. But I'm not leaving him."
"You don't have to die for him." Tris told me.
"Shut your fucking mouth." I shot at her through clenched teeth. "You have no right to speak to me. This is all your goddamn fault. You fucking bitch. You just had to play martyr and because of that I just lost the one thing that mattered most to me."
"Pen." Four said with a clenched jaw.
"No!" I yelled at him, my eyes on Tris again. "You and Four would die for each other. The same was for me. It's my life and it's my choice. Now get the fuck away from us."
"I didn't mean to." Peter said sadly.
Looking back down at Eric, I ran my hand down his face. "I don't blame you."
"Get up." Four said gripping my arm.
I pulled away from him, punching him as hard as I could across the cheek while still holding tight to Eric. "I told you to go."
"Pen." Tris said looking down at me.
"Go be the savior everyone thinks you are." I glared up at her. "While I die knowing the truth."
"Fine." Four nodded. "Live. Die. I don't give a shit anymore."
"I'm not asking you to."
"Pen, please." Claude pleaded, kneeling next to me. "Please, let's – let's just go, and then we'll figure out what to do."
"I'm not leaving him here." I smiled at her. "I'll be fine, Claude. You need to go. Get back to Terra and love her like she's never been loved before. You never know when it'll be the last time you see her, or hold her, or hear her voice." Looking back down at Eric, the last thing he'd said to me was that he loved me. But if he loved me then how could he just leave me like this? Sobbing, I looking up at Claude again. "Go, Claude. Please. I am begging you to just go. Don't worry about me. I'll be okay."
"You're going to die." She frowned at me. Smiling, I nodded. "You just called Tris the martyr but it's really you."
Laughing, I nodded again, "So be it."
"I hate you so much right now." Claude told me harshly. "You are such an idiot, Pen. What the hell is the matter with you?"
"Claude, we need to move." Four told her. "Now are you coming with us or not?"
She looked at me for a long moment before nodding, getting to her feet, "Goodbye, Pen."
Four looked at me before nodding, once again taking Tris' waist. Nodding at Claude, she almost moved toward me again before she stopped. Smiling, I nodded again. She paused, looking at my gun that she still held, having picked it up when I dropped it. She sighed, slowly putting it next to me. She looked at me for another long moment before she turned and stormed off. So the last moment I'd probably see her and she was going to hate me for it. She'd regret that when the anger wore off. But I didn't deserve any nice words right now. No love or good luck. This was as stupid a move as any of them. But I wasn't going to leave Eric. No way in hell.
Still rocking, I watched them leaving, staring in their direction until their steps were gone. Then I looked back at Eric, running my hand down his face, trailing my fingers down his neck, resting it against his chest. Nothing beating against my hand. The tears came faster as I turned him into me, his face against my neck.
"I love you." I told him. "Come back to me. Eric, I love you. Do you hear me? I love you."
Sobbing, nothing happening, I picked up my gun and pressed it against my temple. I had decided a long time ago that if he died, I died. If he was gone than I was already gone too. Taking a deep breath, I was just about to pull the trigger when there were steps and I was suddenly grabbed from behind. My eyes grew wide as the gun was ripped from my hand, and I was pulled from Eric's side. Looking around me, Dauntless traitors were surrounding us.
"NO!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, struggling against those who held me, reaching for Eric. "PLEASE!" I screamed. "ERIC!"
A blue-banded traitor took a knee at Eric's side, his fingers moving to his neck. My breath caught in my throat and for the briefest of moments, my mind imagined him suddenly coughing and coming to. The paralytic wearing off. He wasn't dead. He was alive and we'd fight our way out of here and return to the others. For the briefest of moments I saw a happily ever after. For the briefest of moments I held on to hope.
Then he looked up, "He's dead."
"No, please! Help him!" I sobbed, my legs giving out, though the Dauntless who held me kept me firmly against his chest. "Please! Please don't let him die!"
"Take her to a cell." The one on the floor commanded.
"No!" I yelled struggling against him.
"Pen, stop." A voice said in my ear.
Freezing, I stopped out of shock, turned my head, and met Nathan's eyes. "No." I said pulling from him, scrambling over to Eric's side, swiftly taking him back into my arms.
Looking up at Nathan with a hard glare, I felt empty. He looked at me with as blank an expression as he could. Crying, I pressed my face against Eric's. He still felt warm. He wasn't dead. He couldn't be.
"Nate." The one crouched next to me said with authority. "Are we going to have a problem?"
"No." Nathan replied, stepping forward and gripping my arm.
"Please, Nathan." I said as he yanked me to my feet, Eric's head making an audible thud against the ground. "What are you going to do with him?" No one said anything. "Just tell what you're going to do with him!" They didn't answer and Nathan quickly pulled me down the hall, turning down several of them. I tried to keep track but my mind was overwhelmed with the grief that was filling me. "Please, Nathan." I cried. "Please tell me what they're going to do with him." He clenched his jaw, emotion clear in his eyes. "Please. Please, Nathan."
"Maybe you should be asking what's going to happen to you." He finally replied.
"Answer my question." I retorted. "What are they going to do with him?"
We stopped in front of a cell, the door was opened and I fell to the floor as he threw me into it, slamming the door before his steps quickly retreated. Moving to the wall, I brought my knees up, rocking violently as I sobbed, screams erupting from me without permission. It was almost as if I was having an out of body experience. As if someone else was making the sound and I had to remind myself that it was coming from me. Looking at his blood on my hands only intensified the feeling, if that were even possible.
I had no idea how long I sat there, crying until I couldn't breathe. Because I couldn't breathe. Eric was dead and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. He left without telling me and now he was dead. How did this happen? How had we come so far only to have it end like this?
When the door opened sometime later, I didn't even register that someone had entered. I sat in the same spot, rocking slowly and rhythmically as I stared at nothing, my hand running along the dried blood on my arm. I wasn't seeing anything. The only thing I could think of was Eric lying on the floor. Peter's words telling me that he wasn't dead but he never woke up. Then the traitors confirming him dead and I was taken from him. He was taken from me. The memories were on a loop and my mind kept going over it over and over again. I'd failed him. I had saved him only to lose him. He left me. What the hell was he thinking? Why would he leave without telling me? Why would he risk himself? I never got to say goodbye...
The lighted panels that made up the walls and floor intensified, forcing me to squint. Before now they had been dimmed, and I had appreciated the darkness.
"I'd ask how you're doing but I think I can assume you aren't well." Jeanine's voice reached my ears.
Slowly lifting my eyes, I met hers with as hard a glare as I could muster. "Get out." I told her with a scratchy voice. She just smiled as she started to pace the six by six room. "I have nothing to say to you."
"I'd say I was sorry for Eric, but the traitor got what he deserved."
"He didn't deserve to die!" I yelled at her, my voice now strong, standing in one fluid movement. I felt weaker than I'd ever been, but I couldn't show her that. Not if I could help it. "He deserved to be happy! He deserved the chance to make amends for the crimes that you forced him to commit!"
She just looked at me calmly. "I didn't force him to do anything, Penelope. He was a pawn and when pushed he did as he was told."
"Where is he? What are you doing to him?"
"You mean his body?" She countered. The word made ice run through my veins and I felt the heat that had entered my cheeks ebb away. "I don't feel the need to provide that information." I furrowed my brows at her, feeling anger start to rise despite the tears in my eyes. "You'll have to give me something first."
"What do you want?" I asked, ready to do just about anything to know where he was.
"Since Beatrice escaped, you will replace her as the subject of my study."
"What kind of study?"
She smiled and stepped toward me. "Is that something you really need to know?"
Thinking a moment, I shook my head, "No."
"You're not nearly as curious as Beatrice was." She commented.
"I just lost what mattered most to me. My curiosity isn't really a concern right now." I retorted.
"But you want his body." She stated. It wasn't a question. She knew that was what I wanted. She was just trying to figure out why.
"Please, just give him to me." I pleaded. I should have been strong but I just didn't have it in me to keep up the façade. I wasn't Tris. I wasn't Four. I was simply the shell of the person I was this morning. He was everything to me and now he was gone. "You don't need him anymore."
"If I let you see him will you do what I ask without putting up a fight?"
"Yes." I replied quickly.
"First, you will show good faith by running one test beforehand."
"Fine." I stated.
"Just like that?" She asked.
"I don't think you understand what he means to me." I told her with a menacing tone. "You will keep your word or you will see a side of me you never have before." She just smirked at me.
Stepping toward the door, she knocked on it and Nathan swiftly appeared, punching the number on the pad and stepped through. Jeanine nodded at him and he swiftly took my arm, gripping it painfully. Leading me to the end of a long hall, Nathan turned me left into a dim room. For a moment I was back in the tank in B13. I didn't like the feeling. I took in my reflection in the glass along one wall, sure that someone was watching me on the other side of it. In front of me stood a large machine. An MRI machine. I had tried to convince Max to upgrade the med area with the latest technology. The only time I ever wanted anything to do with Erudite. Max had turned me down though, telling me that I couldn't justify the needs for any high-tech imaging when they'd be shipped off to the city anyway. My justification had been just fine. With all the beatings we take it would help me assess any damaged organs and internal bleeding to decide whether a trip to the hospital was necessary or not. It would have been helpful in both Neely's case and my own.
"Lie down, Penelope." Jeanine's voice commanded over an intercom.
The abrupt sound made me jump, but I did as I was told. Hoping it didn't take too long, I wanted Eric in my arms again as soon as possible. Laying back, the cold metal felt nice against my heated skin, taking a deep breath as the machine immediately started to swallow me. Shutting my eyes, I tuned out the noise of the machine, thinking of Eric. Remembering the feeling of his arms around me. His fingers moving up and down my skin. The warmth of his breath as it wafted over me. The smell of him. The taste of him. The feeling of him inside of me.
The sound of his heartbeat…
…the feeling of his lips against mine.
His lips.
God how I loved his lips. They were the first thing about him that I fell in love with. Then everything else followed. I loved him. I loved him more than anything. And now he was gone. He was gone and I was forced to grieve for him in this hell hole.
Greif.
It was like a giant wave that hit me. Filled me. I couldn't breathe. I was suffocating against this metal table and in this machine that was clanking noisily around me. I was alive and unharmed and yet…I was dying. Suffocating in knowing that the person I loved most - that I cherished most - was no longer a part of this world.
He was gone.
Tears ran from the corners of my eyes, no longer suffocating, now feeling the pain of my loss. An overwhelming pain that started in my chest, spreading, filling me from head to toe. Shaking started to take me over, making me grip the edge of the table, rubbing my feet against each other as I tried to hold still.
"Don't move, Penelope." Jeanine warned.
"Sorry." I whispered, attempting to hold still. I just wanted to writhe and now I was being forced to hold still. But I would do it for him. As long as I got to hold him again.
Keeping my mind as blank as possible, when the machine shut down and I was pulled from the tight space, I rolled, vomiting onto the floor. Sobs broke from me again as I rolled back and forth, unable to hold in my grief. Then the door opened and Nathan strode in, yanking me from the table and practically dragging me from the room. Jeanine was waiting for us in the hall, her face expressionless toward my pain.
"Beatrice demanded that I show her the scans. Will you demand the same?" She asked.
"What is it going to tell me Jeanine?" I asked taking a shuddering breath, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "That parts of my brain are abnormally large or small, labeling me Divergent, where other areas are either larger or smaller based on the actions I've made?"
Her brows furrowed and she gave me a subtle nod. "Something like that."
"I don't give a fuck about why I'm Divergent. I love being Divergent and that's enough for me. The only thing I will demand of you is Eric."
She raised a brow at me. "Take her back to her cell." She stated nonchalantly.
"What about Eric?!" I yelled at her.
"You have not completed your test yet."
"Then let's do it now, Jeanine." I shot at her. "You agreed to give him to me when I'd completed a test. Do it now so I can have him."
She smiled at me, "I did agree. However, there was no mention of when the test would be completed."
"You manipulative bitch!" I yelled, charging at her. I managed to claw her at the base of her neck, feeling her skin underneath my fingernails before Nathan had me round my waist, pulling me away from her. "Give him to me!"
Jeanine righted her collar, looking at the red on her fingers from the marks I had made. "Take her to her cell."
Nathan's grip tightened and he was once again dragging me down the hall. "I'm going to kill you!" I screamed as I struggled against him.
Struggling all the way to the cell, Nathan threw me into it, once against slamming the door. Throwing myself against it, I slammed my fists against the metal, screaming until I tasted blood at the back of my throat. By the time I finally stopped, I lay curled up in the corner, my throat and hands raw. Staring at the floor, I wanted to sleep but I just couldn't. I couldn't find rest in a world where Eric wasn't in it. I couldn't live in a world where he wasn't in it. I needed him. Tears returned and fell, a small pool starting to form underneath my head.
Time was irrelevant, so when the door opened I had no idea how long I had been lying there. Not that it mattered. Hearing steps, Nathan sat against the wall, far enough away so I couldn't reach him. My eyes moved to him briefly before I once again stared at the floor.
"When?" I asked him, the word broken, my throat on fire from trying to speak.
"You don't understand." He whispered.
"When?" I repeated.
"They took Kendra." He replied. His girlfriend.
"Where is she?" I asked, the words barely coming out.
"She's alive and well." He stated. "She'll stay that way if I do what Jeanine asks of me." I frowned at him, wanting him to elaborate. "She's Divergent." He added. "But just barely. Jeanine doesn't think she's worth anything but is keeping her just in case." He sighed, meeting my eyes. "I'm so sorry about Eric, Pen. I've imagined what it would be like to lose Kendra and even the thought is unbearable. Eric's dead and now you're stuck here."
"Where is he?" I asked.
"I don't know." He replied sadly.
Propping myself up on my hand, I met his eyes with a fierce gaze. "Kill me."
"What?" He frowned. "No."
"Nathan, you have to kill me. Jeanine does not get to win. Eric is dead. I'm done with this war. I'm done and I'm ready to die. So, please, I am begging you, kill me."
"No." He repeated.
"Why not?" I asked with more air than sound.
He met my eyes, a pained expression crossing his face. "Because as sorry as I am for Eric, I won't risk Kendra's life."
Laying back down, I started to sob again. I just wanted to die. I wanted to be with him. Living just a moment without him was too long. Running my hand along the empty space in front of me, I wanted to feel the heat that Eric left behind. I wanted to feel like he was still with me. But all I was met with was the cold floor.
Sleep must have finally taken me, shooting awake when the dimmed lights intensified. Sitting up, I wiped my eyes, pain moving through them at every touch. Looking up, Nathan was standing there with a sad expression on his face. Sighing, I nodded and slowly got to my feet. My body was sore and my chest and head had a pulsating throb that made tears spring to my eyes. I was so sick of crying. It was weak and I was showing far too much weakness as it was. Jeanine could not win. But I would still do anything to have Eric returned to me. No matter the state he was in.
"You need to take better care of yourself." Jeanine scolded as she took me in.
We'd veered down several hallways until we were in a different room. The scans had been taken and now was the fun part. There's a medical chair, partially reclined, with a desk and screen in one corner. She's standing in front of it with that holier-than-thou expression. I wanted to slap it off of her fucking face. But I couldn't help but smile at the marks on her neck. A small victory. And there would be more where that came from.
"I'm tougher than you think." I stated with a raspy throat.
"Are you?" She asked with a raised brow. "All I've seen is you falling apart over the death of a worthless man."
I felt my face contort and I lunged at her, my fist meeting her face, gripping her neck and digging my knee into her abdomen. Then I was grabbed and thrown across the other side of the room. More Dauntless traitors entered, their guns aimed at me as I slowly got to my feet. I'd be able to kill at least a couple of them before I was killed myself. The thought crossed my mind, only then Jeanine opened her mouth.
"There she is." She told me. Jerking my head toward her, she was still slightly hunched, catching her breath, but she had a wicked smirk on her face. "That's the Penelope I've been looking for." Laughing, I started to pace the circle I was in, the guns still aimed at me, glaring at her all the while. "Eric is your trigger. Even in death you revolve around him." My smile disappeared and I stopped, keeping my eyes trained on hers. "Since he was a boy he'd never connected with anyone. That's why he was picked. He had no ties. He would do anything I asked of him because I was all that he had." My brows furrowed and she slowly stepped up to me. Nathan quickly put his hand against my shoulder. "Then he met you." She smiled. "He met you and you excited him and made him feel things he never had before. Despite everything he's done you loved him unconditionally. He killed your sister and you forgave him because you couldn't live without him." I tried to stop them but a tear slid down my cheek as I started to shake. "But now he's dead and you're still alive. Left to roam the world alone." Another tear fell. "I will remedy that if you'd like. But first, there are tests you must complete."
"Remember our agreement." I told her with a hard tone. She just smiled and gave me a curt nod. "Jeanine, you will return him to me." I added with disdain. Something told me she was going to find a way out of our agreement.
"Sit down." She told me. "If I remember correctly - and I do - you agreed to one test before then."
"Fine." I said and sat down. Staring at the ceiling, I waited for the serum to be injected. "One test."
As soon as the serum was in, I hear her hit a button and everything went dark. Only then I was standing in Dauntless, screaming being heard and people were running in every direction. Moving through the Pit, a body dropped next to me as people scrambled up the path to the glass ceiling and out of Dauntless. Spinning, I took in the chaos around me, trying to figure out what was going on. Then the blue-banded traitors appeared, forcing people into the Pit, several being shot. It wasn't just about the Divergent anymore. They were cleansing each faction.
Turning, I darted toward the nearest path, wanting to move further into the compound. If I could make it to my home then I could scale the building from the outside. But before I could get there, Claude stumbled into view. Blood was trailing down the side of her head, her hair down and flowing over her shoulder, mixing with blood as it moved down her arm as well.
"Claude!" I yelled rushing to her. "What happened?" I asked, catching her in my arms.
"They found us. They came and now we're all dead."
"Where's Four?" I asked her.
"Don't you mean Eric?" She countered.
"He's dead." I frowned at her.
"Is he?" She replied. Looking at the blue in her hair, I let her fall to the floor. "What the hell, Pen?" She frowned up at me. "We need to move. We need to get out of here."
"I am getting out of here." I told her, taking the gun she had held and put it too my temple.
Opening my eyes, I saw the ceiling of the room, Jeanine standing up from the desk. She slowly stepped toward me as I sat up.
"That was faster than Beatrice." She stated.
"One test." I told her. "Now give me Eric."
"Your determination will prove useful in perfecting the serum. Thank you." She told me and left the room.
"Jeanine!" I called after her.
Nathan gripped my arm and started to pull me back down the halls. When we reached my cell, he threw me in and shut the door. Rushing to it, I slammed my hands against it. Screaming for Jeanine to keep her word. It took less time than before for my throat to feel like it was going to rip in two. Finally moving to the wall, sliding down it, my ass slammed against the floor. Bringing my knees to my chest, I put my elbows on top of them, my hands in my hair. She wasn't going to return him to me. She was just manipulating me like she had everyone else. I was never going to see him again.
Tears had come and gone when the door finally opened. I expected Nathan or Jeanine, but instead my mouth fell open as I took in my sister. "Hazel." I said breathlessly. She was wearing Erudite blue. "What the hell?"
"Hello, Penelope." She smiled at me.
Getting to my feet, I attempted to wrap my head around what I was seeing. "Is this real?" I asked her. Looking at the wall, I willed it to explode. Only nothing happened. Looking at Hazel, in the next second I had her pinned against the wall, my arm across her throat. "What are you doing here?!" I screamed at her.
"Penelope! Penelope, stop!" She bellowed with terror in her eyes.
"You betrayed our family." I stated. "You put yourself into the hands of Erudite? Why?"
I let her shove me away, her hand moving to her throat. "Because this is where I belong."
"Hazel." I said as tears returned to my eyes. "How could you do this?"
"Maggie is dead. You were dead. You are supposed to be dead." She stated.
"Well, I'm not. Sorry to disappoint you." I frowned at her.
"Did you know about Maggie?" She asked.
"Yes." I nodded.
"Did you know that it was because of the man you love?" She shot at me.
"Yes." I nodded.
"And now he's dead too." She told me with an even tone. "Everyone dies around you."
"No." I frowned. "Everyone dies around Tris. This isn't my fault."
"Seems you two have more in common than you think."
Shaking my head, I just frowned at her. "Tell me why, Hazel. Why did you betray everyone?"
"Mom and Dad couldn't handle two of their daughters being dead. I took my opportunity and I left. We both know that I didn't belong there."
Shaking my head again, I paced in front of her. "Something else is going on." I told her. "Why are you here? Why would Jeanine bring you to me now when you've been here the whole time?"
"Because she needed to give you something in return for your cooperation." She replied nonchalantly.
My heart felt like it was breaking all over again. "She agreed to give Eric back to me." I told her sadly.
"He's dead, Penelope! Let him go!" She yelled.
Feeling my whole demeanor deflate, I wrapped my arms around myself. "And she thinks bringing me my traitor sister will even come close to satisfying her end of the agreement?" I frowned at her. "Because I'd rather have my dead boyfriend."
"Well, too bad, Penelope." She shot at me. "I'm here and if you don't do what she asks then I'm going to be killed as well. Can your conscience handle another death being added to it?"
Scoffing, I nodded. "Yeah, yours I can handle."
Her confidence finally faltered and she looked at me with shock. "You'd let me die?" She asked.
"You're a traitor." I told her nonchalantly. "I'm already going down. I might as well take you with me."
For a long moment she just stared at me, then she went to the door and pounded on it. They let her out, once again locking the door. Smiling, for the first time since Eric died I felt a sliver of hope. She betrayed her family. I understood why, but there was no way in hell I was going to accept it. Though I should have known it was going to happen. The way she was talking to me when I was home. The questions she had asked. She was curious about Erudite and it should have been a red flag. This shouldn't be a surprise. But it hurt just as much.
