Disclaimer: See Chapter One

A/N: Yay! The next chapter! I just wanted thank everyone for all the support and love and enjoyment of this story! I love every review and have appreciated you all so much!

And I hope you like that last few chapters! For I am sorry to say that this one is winding down. But the next will hopefully be ready without too much of a gap between them! It's not over yet!

Without further delay, and with much love, we continue...


Chapter Eighteen: Relief

Waking slowly, I opened my eyes to see the plain walls of Abnegation. I found myself against a chest, a strong arm draped across me. Tilting my head, I saw a raven breaking through a maze. Eric. For a moment my breath caught, wanting to believe that he was really here but too afraid to turn around. Shifting as lightly as possible, I removed myself from his arms, turning to look at him. Getting off the bed, I rolled my shoulder, feeling pain running across my back. I'd been shot. Again. But did that really happen? Wrapping my arms around myself, I stared down at him, wanting so much to believe. His brows were furrowed, shifting uneasily, but didn't wake. Taking a slow breath, I bit the corner of my bottom lip as tears came to my eyes.

Was this real?

Was he really alive?

Wiping a tear that had slipped from my eye, I looked at the wall, at anything, willing for something to happen. Nothing did. Nothing changed. Then Eric took a deep intake of breath, shooting awake. He looked at the empty space where I had been, then his eyes shot up to me.

"Pen." He said and started to move toward me.

"Wait." I said holding up my hand.

"Pen." He repeated sadly.

Shaking my head, tears brimmed in my eyes, "How do I know you're real?"

"I'm real." He told me sternly, his hands moving to his chest.

"How do I know?" I asked. Shaking my head, I attempted to wrap my head around this. "I've seen you so many times in simulations. So far, this one isn't any different."

"Pen, this isn't a simulation. I'm real."

"Simulation Eric would tell me that." I frowned at him.

"Baby, please." He said pleadingly.

Tears filled his eyes. That was new.

"Please, baby, I am real."

"Tell me something I don't know." I told him. "Tell me something I couldn't possibly make up. Something I couldn't create in my simulations."

He just looked at me for a moment, then he scoffed lightly, smirking at me, "I love you."

Smiling, laughing lightly, I shifted back and forth on my feet, "I know that, you idiot."

He laughed lightly, staring at me, before his brows furrowed and he looked at his hands. "They threw me out."

"I know that too." I replied quickly.

"If you're going to ask me a question you might want to let me answer it." He shot at me with annoyance.

That was new too. He was never annoyed with me when I was lost in my mind.

"Sorry." I told him, bowing my head.

He sighed and stepped toward me only to have me step away from him. He looked hurt by that, but I needed to make sure, and if he touched me I would fall apart, believing him without the proof I needed.

"They threw me out as an example to anyone who was thinking about acting against them. Anyone who was going to try would see what happens, even to a formerly favored soldier." He told me. "The paralytic took forever to wear off and I woke up here in Abnegation. The first thing I said was your name. But you weren't here." He met my eyes with a hard look. "You weren't here, Pen. You'd gone after me after I specifically told Tori to keep you close. You came after me and nearly got yourself killed." Now he was mad. "You're always spouting shit about what would happen to you if something happened to me. Did you ever stop to think of what would happen to me if something happened to you?"

"You're dead." I frowned at him.

"I am not dead, Pen!" He yelled at me. "I am standing right in front of you! There was a plan and it would have worked if you had managed to be just a little less selfish! You should have let me handle it! Let Four handle it! Jesus, Pen!" He finished and started to pace. His muscles were tense, rippling as he moved. He was such a beautiful man. He stopped and faced me again, his voice lowered, "You should have waited."

"You should have told me what you were going to do." I replied softly.

"You wouldn't have let me go."

"I'll never let you go." I stated. "You're everything to me. You're my world, Eric."

He slowly stepped toward me. This time I didn't move. "And you're mine."

One more question. Something I knew nothing about but he would. If this was real, he could tell me. "Where did you get the rock?" I asked. His faced smoothed out and he nodded at me, but didn't say anything. "Eric, where did you get it?"

"I, uh, stole it from your things." He replied. "The night of your initiation. I'd seen you with it and…"

"And?" I asked.

"And I needed to have a piece of you." He finished. "Something to hold on to."

"Hold on to? What?" I frowned at him.

I wanted to question him more on what the hell he was talking about, only then it finally hit me that this was real. This was happening. I was going to acknowledge it, opening my mouth to tell him that I believed him. Only then a tear slid down his cheek and he stepped backward and sat on the edge of the bed. He rested his elbows on his knees, bowing his head, rubbing his hands together in front of him.

"Pen…" He said and looked up at me. He opened his mouth to say something only a sob escaped him instead. He bowed his head again, putting his hand over his eyes as the sobs just rolled out of him. My heart ached for him, rushing forward and swiftly embraced him. "Pen." He repeated as he wrapped his arms around me, his head pressed against me as he continued to sob. "Never leave me again."

"I promise, Eric." I told him. I'd never heard him sob like this before. I'd seen him cry but this was a thousand times worse. "Baby, I promise you, I'll never leave you."

"I was scared, Pen." He told me, still sobbing, his grip painfully tight around me. "I was so scared."

"I'm okay." I told him, my own tears falling now. "You're alive, Eric. You're alive and are back in my arms. I love you so much. I'm never going to let you go again and I'm never leaving you. But you can't leave me either. You were dead to me and nothing has hurt more."

He nodded, letting me go, seeming to regain some control. "I know the feeling."

"I know." I told him, sitting next to him.

He shook his head. "I'm not talking about Amity."

Lifting my hand, I gently ran my fingers through the hair at his temple, "Then what are you talking about, baby?"

He shut his eyes, relishing the feeling of my touch. Smiling, I leaned in and kissed him. In the next second he had me pinned to the bed, his mouth urgent against mine. My body felt like it was on fire. Breathing in his every exhale, I felt like my life was flowing back into me. He tasted amazing. He felt amazing. Running my hands down his chest to his sides, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, hugging him to me.

Only as quick as he started it, he ended it, his face falling into my neck as sobs once again broke from him. Holding him tightly, I couldn't help but cry with him. I didn't know everything that happened but it affected him more than I'd imagined. The sound of him was agonizing, yet with each one I felt like I was regaining a little bit of myself. He was alive. He was alive and in my arms. I never thought this would be possible.

Holding him tightly, my grip on him never loosened. Pressing soft kisses against his temple, against his cheek and in his hair, I spoke as comforting words to him as I could. My tears stopped before his, burying my face in his neck as I ran my nails up and down his back. Feeling him shudder, it was still several minutes before his tears stopped, a calm slowly washing over him. All the while I held him, his arms tight around me, his lips finding my neck.

"I love you, Eric." I told him. "I am so in love with you. I can't even begin to describe what the past few days have been like. Thinking you were gone. But you're alive and you're in my arms."

"I love you, Pen." He replied softly. "I've never loved anything. Before you I didn't think I was capable of it. But I love you more than I ever imagined I would. You're everything to me."

Feeling his tears against my neck again, I gently pushed against his chest, making him lean away from me. He kept his eyes shut, his brows furrowed as I took his head in my hands. Kissing the tears from his cheeks, I moved my thumbs back and for across his skin, feeling stubble beneath them. "And you're everything to me." I told him, kissing him slow and deep. "You're my most favorite person."

He chuckled softly, "And you're mine."

Staring at each other, I couldn't get enough of him. He was too beautiful to look away from. He was alive. I was alive. We were out of Erudite and we were safe. Even if that meant just for now, we were safe, and we were together. God I loved him. I loved him so much and to have him back in my arms was the greatest gift I could have ever asked for. Kissing him again, I let my lips linger against his, loving the feel and the taste of them. They were perfect.

Only then I couldn't help but remember why we were here. The reason he had gone to Erudite. I felt exhausted just thinking about all the things that still needed to be done. I could stare at him forever and it wouldn't be long enough. I had never been more grateful in my life than in this moment. I knew that this was just a small reprieve from the fight. There were still plenty of things that needed to happen before this could all be over. I hated to admit to that or ruin this moment because of it. But we both knew it was true. Whether we liked it or not.

"We should talk." I told him running my hand across his hair.

"Yeah." He said still staring at me.

Smiling, I kissed him again, "How are you alive, Eric?"

He smirked, putting one hand against my face. "You're so beautiful."

Leaning into his touch, wrapped my arm around his neck, pulling him back down on top of me, kissing him passionately and repeatedly. "You are too."

Leaning away from him, I gently pushed against his chest again, feeling pain before a dull throb as I sat up. Facing each other, one leg bent, pressed to each other's, our other foot was on the floor. He sighed and took my hand, playing with my fingers as he ran his other thumb against my palm.

"What's going on? What's the plan? Just because we both managed to survive, doesn't mean that this is over."

"Just like that you're going to fall right back into the fight?" He asked softly.

"You're alive, Eric. You're alive and right in front of me." I replied and paused. "My life has been hell since I woke up and found you gone. But I can't change what happened. I just want to forget everything since the moment you were taken from me. I don't want to dwell on what happened. Somehow it turned out okay and you're here. You're alive and I want to ravage you but I feel like crap and there is wicked pain through my back." I replied smirking back at him. His face fell and he averted his eyes. My stomach dropped and my smile disappeared. "What happened?" I asked. "After you came for me."

"Can we…not…talk about that right now?" He asked, moving his hand to the side of my head, still not looking at me.

"Eric." I said softly. I felt a shudder move through his hand, making me shudder as well. "Baby, I'm okay. Just tell me what happened."

"I don't want to tell you what happened!" He yelled at me, standing up.

"Eric." I said again, slowly getting to my feet.

Stepping up to him, I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. His arms moved around me as well, careful not to press against the wound across my back. He stepped me backward to the bed, letting me go just long enough to sit down, pressing his back against the wall. Holding his hand out to me, I took it, straddling his lap as I brought my hands to his neck, running my thumbs back and forth across his jawline.

"Just tell me, baby." I told him softly. "The whole thing, it just – it feels – I don't know how to explain it. I don't know what was real, Eric. I need you to help me figure out what was real."

He took a deep breath, staring at me before nodding. "You were hit. A bullet grazed your back. It wasn't bad, but you went down and didn't get back up." He told me, once again averting his eyes. Instead he picked up a strand of my hair, rubbing it between his fingers. "We got you into a truck but before we got back here you stopped breathing." He took my hands in his, gripping them painfully, his thumbs running along the tops of them. "I, uh, I breathed for you for as long as I could. Only the longer you went without breathing, the more terrified I became. I couldn't handle it. I started to break down. Seeing you that still…" He trailed off. Tears brimmed in my eyes again, my throat tightening. I attempted to swallow the lump in my throat as I waited for him to go on. "Henry had to take over. The whole time I held your hand, waiting for you to wake up. We tried to get you to breathe again but it wasn't working. Simmy was waiting for us when we got back. She looked you over and started to freak out. Her panicking only made mine intensify, and before I knew it they'd taken you away."

"Eric." I said sadly, putting my hand against his face, though he still wouldn't meet my eyes.

His brows furrowed and his eyes were distant. "When they wouldn't tell me what was going on, I – I reverted, attacking anyone who tried to stop me or even talk to me. I pushed through the guards, injuring two. There was commotion ahead and I knew that something was wrong. More people came to stop me but I dropped every one of them so I could get to you. Then Four appeared." He scoffed and shook his head. "The fucking knight in shining armor." Then he sighed, looking up at the wall. "He knocked me out. He had to, I know he did. I just couldn't handle it. I was terrified of what was happening to you." He paused again, sighing as he ran his fingers through my hair. "When I came to I was told that you were fine, resting in Four's old house. I came to you, held you, and now we're here."

"I'm so sorry." I told him, and he finally met my eyes.

"I know things have happened to me and you've told me you were afraid for me. I understood but having to feel what you must have felt I - I never want to feel that way again."

Nodding, I held his head in my hands before I wrapped my arms around his neck, resting my hand on the back of it, kissing him deeply. "You never will."

"And I'll be more careful." He told me. "I promise."

Tears filled my eyes again as I stared into his. "I was so mad at you. I fell apart time and time again because you'd left me. You didn't even say goodbye. I woke up and you were gone. If you ever do that to me again..." I said trailing off, anger starting to boil.

"I won't. I promise you, Pen. I won't."

"Good." I said and kissed him again.

He ran his fingers through my hair again, resting his forehead against mine. "What did she do to you?"

Leaning away from him, I took his head in my hands, my thumbs running back and forth across his cheeks. "She took some pictures of my brain before she started to inject me with serum." I started. "She kept doing it over and over again, trying to mix the perfect concoction that is affective against the Divergent. I kept being thrust into simulations and they were always about you. Always." I said and paused, taking a deep breath. "I fought it." I nodded at him. "I fought for a long time but then she got closer and I felt myself giving into them. Living in a world where you were alive, even if I knew it wasn't real, I wanted to stay. As soon as I gave in, she'd be able to re-configure them to control us. She nearly has it."

"I never meant for what happened to happen." He told me.

"How are you alive?" I asked. "I held you. I was there. Your blood was on my hands. You were dead. They confirmed that you were dead."

"Nah." He smirked nonchalantly. "I was just mostly dead. And the shoulder wound was hardly a scratch."

"Please do not make light of this." I frowned at him, running my hands down his chest. "You have no idea what it was like. You didn't see me, Eric. You don't know how low I got. I begged for them to kill me. I begged them."

His smile disappeared as he frowned at me. "Never beg for death, Pen. Don't you ever."

"You were dead." I repeated, running my hands up to his neck. "I wanted to be where you were."

He nodded, "I know the feeling."

"What happened to you, Eric? How did it end up like it did?"

"I marched Four up to the main doors, my gun digging into his ribs." He told me. Scoffing, he offered me a small smile, "I can't tell you how many times I had imagined finally capturing him. Taking him to Jeanine and being the favored son." Running my hands down his chest, I took both of his in mine, holding them tightly. His smile slowly fell from his face. "But things are different now. I hated acting like he was just another Divergent. That he was nothing and that I was willingly going to hand him over and let her kill him. I hated it, Pen. I never thought I would hate it but…I hated it. Every last moment of it."

Smiling, I leaned in and kissed him. "That's because you're a good man."

He returned it, "I'm trying to be, baby."

"You don't have to try. You are a good man." I stated matter-of-factly.

He nodded, "I am because of you."

Laughing lightly, I kissed him again, wrapping an arm around his neck. "I accept that."

He ran his fingers through my hair, resting it against my neck, his other hand moving to my thigh. "Jeanine met us in the lobby. She wanted to see it for herself. I thought I might feel something toward her when she stood in front of me. But I didn't. All I felt was resentment and hate. I thought of you and what she would do to you. I thought of her taking you from me and it helped me play my part. I smiled and let her hug me. She put her arm around me and I watched as soldiers took Four away.

We went to her office and she asked me what happened. I told her the gist of it, how I escaped after Tris left and Four gave himself up to be with her. At the same time it would be a sign of good faith for me to bring him in. Four thought it was a pretty concrete plan. Only Tris had already, somehow, won over Peter and he already had a plan in motion. I didn't have a choice but to go along with it. I was never alone for more than a few minutes and when I did finally get Peter alone it was too late to change anything. Going to Four, we decided that I would need to play my part just a little while longer. I'd get them out, let Peter shoot me, inject me with the paralytic, and then leave me behind."

I nodded, feeling guilty again for my actions. "Then I barged in. I dragged Claude with me and nearly got all of us killed."

"I told you to stay behind." He frowned at me.

"We're a team, Eric. It's you and it's me. We're in this together. You're not supposed to run off and do something that could cost your life without me."

"Neither are you." He told me, anger once again in voice. "You nearly died, Pen. I nearly lost you all because you couldn't just wait for me. Things happen that neither of us can control but I thought you trusted me enough to do what I ask."

"It's not about trust." I frowned at him, dropping my hands in my lap. "I trust you more than I've ever trusted anyone."

"Then what is it?" He shot back at me.

"It's about obsession and recklessness and not wanting either of us to die without the other. It's about feeling like half a person when I'm not with you. But more than anything it's about fear. Fear is motivating. Fear makes you do things that you normally wouldn't."

"So I scare you, you scare me. Is that how you want to play it?"

Anger was bubbling and I couldn't stop the shaking that started to take me over or the deep frown on my face. Getting off of him, I paced in front of the bed.

"Well?" He asked, still sitting there.

"That's not fair." I told him.

"Life isn't fair, Pen!" He yelled and got off the bed.

"Stop yelling at me!" I yelled back, stepping closer to him. "You don't get to yell at me because I went after you. I shouldn't have gone, I realize that, but you left me after you agreed to let me go. You left me without a word. You. Left. Me. So you don't get to be mad. Not only did you leave me behind you also died. Remember that, Eric. As far as I knew you were dead. You were dead and I was never going to see you again. What was I supposed to do?"

"Wait!" He yelled before lowering his voice. "You were supposed to wait for me."

"I waited as long as I could." I replied. "But I couldn't breathe without you. I can't live without you, Eric, and you just left me behind." Tears filled my eyes and I couldn't help the shaking that started to move through me. "I'm sorry." I told him, wiping one from my cheek. "I'm sorry I didn't wait, but I couldn't wait any longer. I needed to be with you and I would do anything to be with you. Then you died and they threw you out."

Trying to hold in my tears, he stepped up to me, pulling me against his chest. Burying my face in his shoulder, I started to sob. Clutching his shoulders, I sobbed into him, his hand against my head as the other held me in a vice grip against him.

"I thought I'd lost you." I mumbled through his shirt. "I really thought you were dead."

"Shhh, I know." He told me softly, his voice like chocolate, making me relax even further into him. "I know, baby."

"I was so scared."

"Me too."

I wasn't wrong when I said fear makes you do things you normally wouldn't. And I'd never been more scared than I was the past few days. I didn't want to fight with him. I didn't want to taint this reunion, making it something we'd regret. I was alive. He was alive. That's all that mattered. Everything that happened was in the past and there was nothing we could do to change it. We just had to keep moving forward and do better in the future. I was sure moments like this would happen again. Faced with opposition and situations that would separate us. But we couldn't let fear win. It almost had and that couldn't happen again. It wouldn't. Neither of us would let it. Not after this.

"I love you, Pen." He whispered in my ear.

Calming, I laughed lightly, looking up at him, "I love you more."

He smirked at me, "Not possible."

Kissing me deeply, he leaned me into the crook of his arm, heat rising between us as our tongues danced and our lips refused to part. Moving my hand to his face, I never wanted to move. If I could simply kiss him for the rest of eternity, I would. Only then his hand moved up and pressed against my wound, making me involuntarily cry out.

"I'm sorry." He said quickly releasing me.

"It's okay." I told him, shaking my head, smiling up at him. "Can we not fight anymore?"

He nodded, cupping my face in his hands, wiping the last of the tears from my cheeks, "Yeah."

"Finish telling me what happened."

He sighed and wrapped his arms around my waist. Resting my arms on top of his, I ran my thumbs back and forth across his biceps, loving the feel of him.

"Um, yeah, so, after we realized what we had to do, Peter put the plan in motion. But Jeanine was already on to us. She complicated things so we escalated the plan. You pretty much know the rest. Tris appeared to die, Four didn't know so he freaked out, but then Peter explained it and then I was injected, shot, and…I woke up here."

"How though?" I asked him. "How did you survive it? Peter said he used a higher does. He basically overdosed you on a paralytic without knowing what it would do."

"Basically." He smirked.

"Don't." I frowned at him.

"Sorry." He replied and kissed me. "I don't know really. All I know is that I came out of it. It just took a lot longer than anyone thought it would. But Simmy took good care of me." I nodded at him. "As soon as I was awake and able to move, I made a plan to come get you. Claude, Henry, and Terra volunteered and we made it happen."

"Four didn't volunteer?" I asked with a raised brow. I couldn't help but still feel a little anger toward him.

"Don't be mad at him." He scolded. "He did. I shot him down. He needed to be with Tris."

Scoffing, I paced away from him, "Tris."

"She's been through the same hell that you have." He told me.

"You're right." I stated, wrapping my arms around myself. "We have a lot more in common than I'm willing to admit."

"It didn't have to be that way." He told me sadly.

"Please don't, Eric." I replied just as sadly.

He nodded at me but went on anyway, "You were never supposed to come after me."

Nodding, a wave of depression fell over me. "I should have been with you."

"No." He frowned taking my hands. "I didn't want you there. Seeing what Four was going through when Tris took off..." He frowned, shaking his head. "I didn't want to go through that."

"So you made me go through it?" I frowned at him. "He woke up to find her gone and you made me wake up to find you gone."

"I know." He nodded.

"That's not okay, Eric." I shot at him. "That is so not okay I don't even know where to start with the bad."

"Baby, I'm sorry. I am so sorry."

Shaking my head at him, I knew we were starting to talk in circles, but we needed to get everything out. Tears once again brimmed in my eyes, "You nearly died, Eric."

"So did you." He said softly.

"Then you can understand how not okay all of this was." I stated, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "I cannot lose you, Eric." I told him. "I've said it before and I'll say it again. You are what matters most to me."

His hands moved to my face, "And you're what matters most to me. The same is for Four and Tris. I needed to help him. I was going to help him get her back and then I was coming back to you."

I nodded, sighing as I gripped his shirt, "But it didn't happen that way, Eric. And it nearly cost us both our lives."

"I know. But we're alive. We're both alive and I'm never leaving you again."

Smiling, I stepped closer to him, "Good. Because I'm never going to let you."

He stared at me with a sad expression. "I've never been more afraid in my life than in the moment you stopped breathing."

Sighing, I nodded at him, "I know the feeling."

"Simmy and the others think it was like a mental overload. Physically you were okay, but your mind was completely overwhelmed."

I nodded again, "It was like a constant nightmare. The fear and the overwhelming depression. And since you were gone all I wanted to do was die to be with you."

"Pen." He frowned.

"Hey, you were dead. You can't be mad at me when there was no reason to believe that you were still alive."

"I know." He said pulling me against his chest.

"I was so broken down that the only reason I agreed to cooperate with her was because she promised me you."

"What?" He frowned.

"Yup." I told him, finding a smile creep across my face. "I was so broken that I had agreed to do her tests if she gave you back to me. I didn't care that you were dead. I just wanted you back."

"That's a little creepy, babe." He told me with furrowed brows, but a small smile was on his lips.

"They'd already tossed you out though, bringing me my traitor sister instead."

"Yeah, I saw that." He nodded. "What the hell?"

"She said she belongs in Erudite."

"Jeanine was going to have you killed." He stated, getting a shrug in response. "She would let you die?"

"Probably." I stated. "But I'd already decided that if I was going to go down then she was going down with me."

"Good." He spat with venom. "If she didn't she'd have me to deal with."

"Who we both thought was dead until you showed up in the simulation room." I reminded him with a raised brow.

"Can we be done with all this death talk? I'd like to never remember you nearly dying and I'm sure you're more than happy forgetting that for you I did die."

Wrapping my arms around him, I kissed him passionately and repeatedly. "I love you, Eric."

He kissed me slowly, letting me take him in, "And I'll never love anything more than I love you."

"Funny story." I told him, grinning. "I had a dream with you in it and you planned on getting me pregnant. It was your ploy to keep me alive."

A mischievous smirk crossed his face. "If that would work then we should probably get started." Laughing, really laughing, it felt so good to laugh. He laughed with me, silencing me with his lips.

"I love you so much, Eric." I told him softly.

He kissed me again, "I'll never get sick of hearing that."

Grinning, I was kissing him again, wrapping my arms around his neck so I could be as close to him as I could get.

Then there was knocking on the door. "Pen?"

Stopping, I turned to the door, my hands sliding down his chest. "Claude." I said before rushing to the door. Gripping the knob, I threw the door open. In the next moment her arms were around me. "I'm so happy to see you. I'm so sorry, Claude."

Her shoulders bounced as she cried into me. "I'm sorry I left you behind."

"Don't be." I told her. "It was what I wanted."

"I thought I was gonna lose you."

"Never." I said running my hand down her hair. "It was just a bump in the road."

She laughed and let me go. "This is what you get for falling in love with Eric."

Laughing, I nodded, "Yeah, but he's worth it."

"Nearly dying for?" Another voice entered, both of us looking to Henty who was standing in the doorway.

"He's worth everything." I replied matter-of-factly.

For a long moment we just looked at each other. Things had been weird and I let them stay that way. I had good reason to, but after everything, it didn't matter as much as it used to. It was no longer the worst thing that had ever happened to me. Sighing, I slowly stepped toward him. Gripping his hand, I gently pulled him toward me, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"I love you." I told him softly. "That's never changed."

"I love you, Pen." He said before he was crying into my neck as well.

Feeling my own resurface, I pulled Claude to us, all of us crying and embracing each other. Our little family feeling like it was whole again.

"Pen." Another small voice said from the doorway.

Taking my face from Henry's neck, I looked between them to see Simmy, tears already upon her cheeks. Letting them go I swiftly embraced the girl. She cried into my shoulder, her fingers digging into the graze wound across my shoulder blades. But I didn't dare say anything. She was shaking like a leaf and I didn't have the heart to make her feel guilty for hugging me.

"I thought I'd lost you." She whispered.

"I'm okay." I told her, rubbing her back.

Her sobs intensified, "It was too close, Pen. It was too close."

"I'm good." I replied reassuringly. "I'm not going anywhere any time soon."

She laughed and let me go, wiping the tears from her cheeks, "I was terrified to face Eric. You should've seen me flipping out. It was pretty epic."

Smiling, I took her head in my hands. "I'm sure you kept it together. Otherwise I wouldn't be here."

Her smile disappeared and she threw her arms around me again. Sighing, I ran my hand down the back of her head, letting her get it out. The poor girl was far more traumatized than I was. But I couldn't blame her. I'd been there. In fact it was just yesterday when I'd been there. Looking over my shoulder, I met Eric's eyes, smiling at him.

"Okay." Simmy said letting me go. "I'm good. I'm done. No more tears." She said wiping them away. Only as soon as her cheeks were dry, tears welled in her eyes again. "Okay, just a few more."

"Oh, Simmy. Enough. I am fine. We should all be more worried about Eric. He's the one who died." She started to sob again. "Simmy." I frowned.

"You did die." An all too familiar voice chimed in.

Looking up, Four was leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed. For a long moment I just looked at him, letting those words sink in. Then I frowned at him, "I'm fine." Pausing, I took a deep breath, looking at Eric before smiling at my brother. "I'm better than fine. Eric is alive. You're okay. You got Tris back. Everything is good." He nodded, bowing his head. When he didn't move, I watched him tightly shut his eyes, rubbing them with his thumb and finger. My shoulders slumped as I looked at him, sighing as I stepped up to him. "Tobias, not you too."

In the next moment his arms were around me. Hugging his shoulders tightly, I let him cry into me as well. This was ridiculous. We're not criers. We're Dauntless. Ruthless, strong, and brave. Now we were all blubbering messes just because I may or may not have had a close call with death. So had Eric. Where were all his hugs and tears?

Giving him at much time as I could, I pulled Four away from me. "Okay, I can't take it anymore." Taking his head in my hands, I pressed a kiss against his forehead. "No more tears. No more talk of death. I'm fine. Eric is fine. You are fine. Tris is fine. Everything is going to be fine."

He took a deep breath and nodded. "It was close, Pen."

"Simmy said as much. I appreciate the support and love and god knows I love all of you. But dwelling on what could have been isn't doing any of us any favors. It's time to move forward. There is still a lot that needs to be done. This fight is far from over."

"Pen is back." Claude said making me look at her, a broad smile on her face.

Henry was looking at me with the same sentiment as she was, "Yes she is."

Eric stepped forward and wrapped his arm around me possessively. "And she's never going anywhere again."

Laughing, I shook my head, "Are you all going to be watching me now?"

"Yes." Claude and Henry said in unison.

Four wrapped his arm around me as well, his lips in my hair, "I love you."

"I love you too." I said pressing a kiss against his cheek. "Speaking of your girlfriend, where is Tris?"

"Around." He smiled. I raised a brow at him. "Everything is fine. Just like you said."

"Okay." I replied but didn't fully believe him.

"Alright." Eric called, louder than was necessary. "She still needs rest, so let's give her a break."

"What I need is a shower." I smirked up at him.

He returned it, "That can be arranged."

My family all cleared their throats and started to move to the door. Four put his hand on Eric's shoulder. "Take care of her."

"Always." Eric nodded at him.

Four pressed another kiss against my cheek, before he pulled me into him, his lips against my ear, "Be proud of him. He really showed how much he loves you. With it he gained a lot of respect. And he's done more than redeem himself in my eyes."

Smiling, I gripped him tightly, "Then I'm proud of you too."

"I'm glad you're okay." He told me, putting his hand against my face.

"Me too." I smiled. As soon they were gone, I felt myself deflate, going to the bed and sitting on the edge of it. Eric was instantly in front of me, kneeling so he could meet my eyes. "Was it that bad?" I asked him, my hand finding his face, running my fingers of the other through his hair. His jaw clenched and he nodded at me as he moved between my legs. "Okay." I nodded, feeling emotion in my throat. Running my hand slowly down the back of his head, I felt a large bump. "Is that where Four hit you?" He nodded. Then I frowned as I felt a second. "There are two."

He nodded again. "It took two to take me down. But it was necessary. For my own safety and for those around me." He paused and met my eyes, staring at me. "I wasn't lying when I said I was scared, Pen. I was terrified. Not only me but them as well. I've never seen any of them so angry and worried and afraid. Even Four was on the verge of a breakdown. Tori has been a mess. You need to see her once we get you cleaned up. And Simmy..." He said shaking his head. "She wasn't wrong to be terrified of me. If she told me you were dead, I don't know what I would've done. But I wouldn't be aware of it. I would've blacked out and went after everyone."

"You would've been okay." I smiled, taking his head in my hands.

"Like you were when you were begging for death?" He frowned.

"I was in a cell. If I was with the rest of our family, I might have been different."

He smirked at me. "Do you really believe that?"

Smiling, I shook my head, "No. I really don't." Leaning forward I kissed him before resting my forehead against his. "I am where you are."

"And I'm where you are." He replied sweetly.

Kissing him deeply, I grinned, trailing my fingers from one side of his face to the other. "Did you ever think we'd end up here?" I asked him. "Considering how this whole thing started."

For a long moment he just looked at me, then he nodded, "Yeah."

"What?" I said and laughed lightly. "You did not."

"I did, Pen." He nodded running his hands up and down my thighs, a cocky smirk moving across his lips. "I've kept a few things from you."

"No you haven't." I frowned at him.

He leaned up and gently kissed me. "The Chasm wasn't the beginning for me."

"What are you talking about?" I asked putting my hands against his chest.

"What you don't know is that I'd had my eye on you for a long time."

"Liar." I told him genuinely shocked.

"I'm not." He said with a small smile. "Ever since you transferred, there was something about you that drew me to you."

"We hated each other." I stated with furrowed brows.

"We both have tempers which has not done us any favors. But I came to you for tattoos. We passed each other all the time in the training room or on the roof."

"Yeah, but we fought all the time. And I hated you."

"I had an image to uphold and I don't connect with people. Ever. So I let you believe what you wanted to believe."

"Why didn't you ever tell me? Or talk to me for that matter?"

"Because you were so full of life. I wasn't the good guy. I'm the type of guy you hide from your mother." He replied.

"Stop." I smiled at him, trying not to laugh.

He sighed and looked at me with seriousness. "I didn't want to take that light away from you. You were the light and I was the dark. I'd watch you with Claude and Henry and even Four and I'd find myself staring. Even then Max would ask me if I was distracted by something."

"Is that why you took my rock?" I asked him. "Is that what you meant when you said you wanted something to hold on to?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

"Maggie gave me that rock." I told him, feeling him tense as his brows furrowed. "She etched that symbol into it to remind me that it didn't matter where I was. We were sisters. Bonded for life."

"Pen." He said softly, his hand finding my face. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." I smiled at him. "I'm not mad that you took it. That was a long time ago. And I've forgiven you for what happened to Maggie. I just never thought I'd see it again and then Jeanine shows it to me, telling me she got it from your pocket."

He nodded again, his hand sliding down my arm to mine. "I kept it on me nearly constantly until the Chasm happened. Then I had you, so I didn't need the rock anymore. But I went and got it before Four and I left for Erudite."

Nodding, I sighed, taking his head in my hands and kissed him sweetly. "You should have told me. Even though I probably wouldn't have believed you."

He moved to the bed, mirroring each other as he took my hands in his. "You wouldn't have. And I deserved to be hated. But I saw my opening after Neely. I knew I had a lot of ground to make up but then, after what happened at the Chasm, I decided that it was something I wanted to pursue."

Frowning at him, I didn't know what to think. "But it was so back and forth. You didn't seem to want anything other than sex."

"No." He stated. "You didn't want anything other than sex."

"So you falling asleep in my bed and everything was just a manipulation. Just like the rooftop." I replied, a smile creeping across my face.

He nodded. "I had to get to know you."

"Even though you'd been basically stalking me for years." I teased.

"I've always thought that you were amazing. The work you've done in the Parlor and Med Area are admirable. You were always kind until you had to be hard. It was hard not to watch you. A lot of guys did. Henry was the lucky one."

"Until he wasn't." I said and laughed lightly. "Eric, why are you telling me all this now?"

"Recent events." He stated. "And I want you to know these things. So stop interrupting me."

"Sorry." I smiled, leaning forward and kissing him.

"You are the most amazing person I have ever met. You're capable and smart. Not to mention beautiful as all hell. Strong. Sensitive. Great hair." Laughing, I felt a blush rise in my cheeks. A serious expression crossed his face, making me stare at him, wondering what he was going to say next. "You are unlike any woman I've met before. I don't think I'll ever fully know you and that's exciting and I accept the challenge. I will spend the rest of my life trying to figure you out and I am ready and willing to do that. I look at you and I see the woman who I was made for. I see a home and a family and a love I never thought I would get to experience. Because home to me is no longer a place. It's a person and that person is you." My cheeks hurt from the smile I couldn't erase, tears hot against my blushed cheeks. "This may not be the place I thought we'd end up but I always knew that I wanted to be with you. You're the one for me. You're mine. And if you feel the same way, which I know you do, I will give you all of me. I will give you everything you want. I will never falter in the way I feel for you. If anything, it will grow, taking me to heights I'd never be able to dream of. But with you I can reach those heights. With you I can do anything." He stopped, taking a slow deep breath, just staring at me.

"I don't like heights." I told him teasingly.

He smirked and lowered his head, "Is that all you have to say?"

"Are you done?" I asked him with just the hint of a smile.

He nodded, "Yeah, I think I'm done."

"Can I ask you something?" I asked next, my expression serious.

"Anything." He told me with a slight furrow in his brows. He was nervous. He wasn't nervous often. Straddling his lap, one hand against his face, the other on the back of his neck, I sighed, keeping his eyes. His arms wrapped around me and I could feel the tenseness in them. "Ask me." He said softly.

For a moment I just looked at him, listening to him take a deep breath. Then I smiled, slightly cocking my head, "Will you marry me?"

All his tenseness disappeared and he laughed harder than I'd ever heard him. It filled me, sending warmth all through my body. "Is that really what you were going to ask?" He told me with a knee weakening half smile.

"Yeah." I told him. Now I was feeling nervous. But I figured after that speech there was only one question to ask, and that was it.

He nodded, his hands moving up and down my back. "You took the words right out of my mouth." He told me. "So, yes, Penelope Farrier. I will marry you."

Grinning, I took his mouth in mine, kissing him until I couldn't breathe. "I love you."

"I love you."

"And my way was so much quicker." I teased and laughed as he gripped my sides.

Pulling me onto my back, he gripped behind my knees, making me shriek and fight against him. Only then a cry escaped me without permission and I swiftly rolled off the bed, pacing as I waited for the pain to subside in my back.

"Baby, I'm sorry." Eric said with worry.

Putting my hand against his chest, I shook my head, even though a slight grimace remained on my face. "Don't be. It's a reminder that it wasn't all just a bad dream."

He sighed, taking my head in his hands, pressing a long kiss against my forehead. "Let's get you cleaned up."

Nodding, I sighed, wrapping my arm around him as we made our way to the bathroom. Once the door was closed, he stared down at me, a smile on his face as he locked the door. Grinning, I let him undress me, his lips running along my shoulder and neck as he reached behind me and unlatched my bra. Letting it fall to the floor, I pulled his shirt up and over his head, seeing a bandage on his shoulder.

"For a moment I almost forgot you were shot." I frowned, gently taking the bandage off, grazing my fingers across the wound.

"It doesn't hurt. It was planned. No permanent damage or anything."

"This should be a sexy, steamy moment but now all I can think of is you lying on the floor."

"Hey." He said making me meet his eyes. "I'm fine. You're fine. Everything is going to be fine." He smirked, repeating my words back to me.

Laughing lightly, I nodded, pressing a kiss against the middle of his chest. Gently sucking the skin, I breathed in the smell of him, my hands moving to his sides. "I love you." I said looking up at him.

He smiled, wrapping his arm around me, dipping me as he kissed me passionately. The rest of our clothes were lost and we stepped into the shower. He turned on the water, coldness hitting my back, making me leap against him.

"You did that on purpose." I said as I clung to him.

He laughed with his face against my neck. The warmth of his breath wafted over me, a shudder following. "It'll warm up in a second." He told me.

Turning in his arms, the water was already warm. "The water has nothing to do with it." I told him, reaching down and gripping his member as I met his eyes.

In the next second I was against the wall, ignoring the pain in my back. Our lips locked and my arms were firmly around him as steam started to rise around us. He held me in place with one arm, the other against the wall. Gripping me under my arms, he lifted me, thrusting his groin against me as I wrapped my leg around him, my toes of the other barely grazing the floor. Panting as his lips moved to my neck, then to my shoulder, I gripped his hair, pulling his face away from me so I could kiss him again. Both of us groaning as he pushed up inside of me, vigorously rocking as he held me in place. Slamming my hand against the wall, I tipped my head back, letting my mind fog over. My desire for him flowed off of me in waves as I brought my lips to his neck, breathing hard against his ear. Feeling my back scrape against the wall, the scabbing breaking open, red mixed with the water. Eric met my eyes, a question in them, only then I was kissing him again. He picked up his pace, climaxing, we happily moaned, our mouths open against each other.

Pulling from me, he set me back onto my feet, turning me to look at my back. "Jesus." He said softly.

"It was well worth it." I smirked up at him, reaching around and grabbing his ass.

He pulled me against him, one arm around my front and the other around my hips. Leaning my head against his shoulder, he leaned his around me, his mouth once again invading mine. Then his hand dipped down, rubbing me until I shuddered against him, pushing his fingers inside of me, slowly rubbing me. I quivered against him, unable to catch my breath. Shutting my eyes, I kept my hand on the back of his head, pressing my forehead against the side of his as he buried his face in my neck, sucking my skin. Climaxing again, I gripped him tightly, feeling unstable on my feet, my head swimming with pleasure.

"God I love you." I whispered as I turned in his arms, kissing him passionately.

He pulled away, breathing hard, "I can't get enough of you."

"Good thing you're stuck with me forever." I smiled, laughing lightly before I was kissing him again. "I can't get enough of your lips." I told him between kisses. "Everything else is just a bonus."

"Stop talking." He complained, pushing me against wall again.

Pain seared through my back and I couldn't hide it this time, crying out. I pushed against him, feeling the prickle of tears in my eyes. "Sorry." I told him. Furrowing my brows, I shut my eyes, a tear sliding down it as I waited for the pain to ebb away.

"You're shaking." He commented.

"Just give me a sec." I told him, bowing my head, trying not to move my shoulders.

It had been one hit too many. I didn't care about the pain while making love to him. I didn't care when everyone was hugging me. But now I felt like someone with saws for fingernails were digging into my back. Pressing my forehead against his chest, I took a slow deep breath, holding it momentarily before slowly releasing it.

"Pen?" He said with his hands on my arms, gently rubbing them.

"I'm okay." I told him but didn't move. "It just hurts."

His hands slid to my neck as he pressed his lips against my hair. "Turn around." He told me softly.

Doing as I was told, I put my hands against the wall, my forehead against it as he ran his fingers across my back before the graze wound. Then his hands were gone, feeling a cloth the next time he touched me, gently cleaning the wound from shoulder to shoulder. It hurt, but I knew it was necessary. Just when my other wounds had felt like they were healed, another was inflicted upon me. I was ready for this war to be over. I didn't want anyone else I cared about to die. I didn't want them even hurt. I wanted to be able to live my life and not worry about anyone coming after me. I wanted my life with Eric.

Pain pulsed across my back as we made our way back to the room. Eric dried my skin, putting an antibiotic ointment across the wound before bandaging it up. It was tedious since we had to basically cut and paste several large bandages together to keep any adhesive from touching it. When he was done, I felt his lips against my skin, making me smile, sighing contentedly as he trailed them across me. Turning around, I put my hand on the back of his neck, kissing him deeply. Folding my arms against myself, I leaned into him, resting my head against his chest.

"You'll feel better once we get some food into you."

"I'm starving." I told him, stepping away from him, going to the pile of clothes on the bed. "Jeanine didn't exactly spoil me when I was there." I added, letting the towel drop from around me.

Reaching for the black bra and underwear, I stopped when I felt Eric's hand against the back of my head. He started to comb his fingers through my hair, making me sigh and relax, taking in the feeling of his fingers. He gently pressed himself against my back as he wrapped his arms around me, his head resting on my shoulder. His breath sent goosebumps across my skin. All the while I kept my eyes shut, smiling, knowing that I would be with him for the rest of my life. And after everything that had happened, I knew that I wanted that to be many years from now. I would fight. But more than anything I wanted to survive, and I'd do just about anything to make it happen.