A/N: Maybe two or three chapters left, lovelies.
I DO NOT OWN SONS OF ANARCHY OR THE CHARACTERS.
Chapter Seventeen:
Jax' POV
"This is the place!" I yelled. Clay nodded and the rest of the guys followed my lead. I kicked the door open and we poured into the abandoned warehouse. Bile filled my mouth, when I saw Kate lying there, bloody and still. Alex was fixing his pants and her underwear were shredding, lying halfway across the room. "You're so fucking dead." I growled.
"Remember the deal, son." Clay warned me. I nodded and lowed my gun. One of the Mayans, who came with us, pulled the trigger. And I watched that the life leave that scum's body.
"We need to get her to the hospital." I breathed.
"I'm on it." Tig assured me. He pulled out his phone and called it in. I ran over to Kate's body and felt for a pulse. She has one, but barely. I shrugged off my jacket and covered her up. She can't die on me. I won't be able to take it.
Kate's POV
I groaned, as I opened my eyes. I feel like I've been run over and then some. I winced as the lights flooded my vision. Holy mother of God, it's bright. Where am I? I don't recognize my surroundings, but the last time I woke up somewhere strange, it definitely didn't end well.
"She's awake." Gemma's voice calmed me down. I tried to place her voice and looked around the room, immediately regretting it. She was standing next to me. What's going on? How did I get here? "You're in the hospital, baby. Alex did a number on you. We weren't sure if you were going to pull through." She explained. As soon as I heard her say his name, memories of what I endured because of him came flooding back to me. Hot, bitter tears crept down my face and I felt cuts break open that must have already scabbed over.
"How bad?" I rasped. She didn't answer, she just put her hand on top of mine.
"When Jax and Clay found you… Clay thought you were dead. Alex' death won't come back to SamCro. Clay made a deal with the Mayans. SamCro starts supplying them with guns and they take care of Alex for us. It was a win-win for both of them. Jax is pretty shaken up about it. He thought that he was gonna lose you. You have to stay in the hospital for a while longer, but it's nothing that you won't be able to recover from…" She told me.
"What aren't you telling me?" I asked her, quietly. She sighed and gave me a look so full of pity that my heart was already breaking. Haven't I lost enough, already?
"Because of the stab wounds… and the scar tissue… the doctors say that you won't be able to bear children…" She whispered. Something inside of me shattered. I felt a sorrow that I didn't know that I could feel. I forgot how to breathe.
"Okay." I didn't know what else to say.
"I'm so sorry, baby. I'm going to get Jax." Gemma excused herself. I pursed my lips together and did my best not to breakdown.
"Hey babe," Jax spoke softly, like he thought if he said the wrong thing, that'd I would just break. I focused on the blanket on my bed, instead of looking at Jax. I don't know how I can face him, after what happened to me. Does he even see me the same way? How could he? I don't even feel like the same woman, I was yesterday morning… How do you move on from something like this? "You scared the shit out of me. Ya know that?" He took his hand in mine and I lost it. The tears started raining down. He wrapped me in his arms and held me.
"I'm so sorry." I hiccupped. He just shushed me and kissed the top of my head.
"None of this is your fault, darlin'. He's gone and he's never coming back. You never have to see him again. He can't hurt you anymore. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there to protect you." He apologized. His words only made me cry harder. It makes me feel worse for not being able to do more to stop what happened… or try to prevent it. I feel like he took part of me that I'll never be able to get back, but I wish to God that I could.
"I can't have kids, Jax. Oh, God. What did he do?" I cried. I was borderline hysterical. He just held me and let me fall apart. I couldn't function or focus on anything else. My entire world was turned upside down. I did want to have kids one day. It was something that in my gut I knew that I would be good at. I'd be a good parent. I would never let my kids feel unloved or unsupported. I wouldn't recreate the hell that my own parents put me through. There's no way that I'd be able to live with myself, if I scarred other people the way that they scarred me. It's just not fair. None of this is fair.
"It's okay, Katie. We have Abel. If we chose to have more later, there's nothing wrong with adopting. I don't care if the kids are biologically ours. We'll love them just the same. As long as you're there and our family is healthy, I don't care about the specifics. It doesn't matter. We're going to make it through this. You're going to make it through this. You're strong – you're so strong. I don't see you any differently, because of what happened. If that's what you're worrying about, then don't. I'll never want another woman, the way that I want you. I didn't even feel like this with Tara. Do you hear me? It's you, only you. I love you and nothing will ever change that. I promise you that." He vowed.
I don't know how long we stayed like that. He held me, until I was ready for him to let me go. The doctors came by and checked on me and explained the extent of my injuries. Most of what they told me didn't even register. I still felt like I was in shock. I had been through too much to even hear anything else. I'm just ready for this nightmare to be over.
Every time I close my eyes, I'm still trapped in that awful warehouse with Alex. How long is he going to torment me? Everyone is so sure that I'm going to pull through and be stronger because of this, but I just don't know. How can I?
