January 9, 1991

5:42 pm, Tuesday

Elvira has been getting very clingy lately. I think she knows what I am planning to do. It just makes my situation a lot harder. Elvira would still be on the street. I don't think I would be able to support myself and a cat who constantly needs food. I have no problem about letting myself go hungry for a few days, but I couldn't bare the thought of Elvira having to endure that just because I was selfish enough to take her with me.

On the other hand she could starve a lot quicker with me not around to give her food every night. Maybe I could let her into the house before I leave? No, that wouldn't work. Mom would probably kill her as soon as she saw her, or if she found out the source of the missing food. Elvira has lived on the street her whole life, I have good faith that she would make it without me. When I'm older I want to come back and take her away from the streets. I promise I will have enough money to take care of her. She deserves the best, and hopefully I'll give her that later on.

I went to talk to her after school. She was lying on top of our trash bin when she saw me. She jumped up, like always, and scurried towards me. She wrapped her tail around my leg while she snuggled her head against it. I laughed and bent down to carry her. I was always careful when carrying her, mostly because I want her to feel the gentleness an actual pet feels. The gentleness that I don't get.

"I'm going to miss you," I told her while she was eating the leftover bread I gave her. She made a small sound, sort of like a sad purr, "I know, I know girl. I don't want to leave you either, but I don't think I'll make it any longer if I stay. I promise to leave you plenty of food before I go. I'll see if I can get someone to feed you every once in a while. Maybe Emi-san will agree to it. She likes animals."

Elvira used her legs to lift her upper half, coming face to face with me. I really wished she could talk, but at that moment her eyes showed what she wanted to tell me. "I promise to come back for you girl. I will never forget you. You got me through so many tough times. When I grow up I'll come back and take you away from all this. By then I'll be able to give you a real home. Just wait for me."

She didn't say anything, not that she could, but it felt as if she understood.

If only I was that important to someone. I used to be, when my father was around. Then, after the accident, mom changed. She isn't my mother anymore. She is now just the woman who gave birth to me and now is forced to take me in. I no longer see her as my mother and I never will. I'll have no problems leaving her behind.

That reminds me, I have to start planning for my trip. I think my "mom", as I am so used to calling her, still keeps the money in her drawer. With enough, I may be able to make this plan a reality.

Sorry mom.

...No, I'm really not.

There is the next chapter. I don't really know why I focused this one around the cat. I guess I wanted to show how caring Akihito can be while at the same time no one seems to care for him. Next chapter should be about the plan, unless I happen to change my mind. Well, that's all I really had to say. See you guys soon!