A/N I apologize about the long wait. A lot of life got in the way.

Feel free to Read, Review, and Enjoy!


Eyes wavering, ears piqued, senses honed and sharpened. Blades at the ready, steps in the shadows follow every one of our own. Whispers of beasts beyond the trees. Bushes rustling with undead bodies from villagers that weren't lucky enough to die right away. Faces and fingers now bared and torn open, claws rendering flesh of the innocent and guilty alike. Steps in the shadows follow. Breath chilled as the sky turns gray, then white with icy winds whipping past us. Armor cut, skin torn, wounds now turned to scars. The breeze cuts into my cheek. Steps in the shadows follow. Boots crunching dead plants at our feet, branches fall under weight of the white sky. Black, inky, dark, corrupt, dead, cursed, betrayed, they all follow the steps in the shadows.

"Wait." I hold my right hand up, stopping us. Relas obeys immediately.

A week on the road could take us to Orzammar, this time it takes us into the Blight.

Eyes closed, I listen. Something I've learned in my many years as a hunter was to just... listen. A shift of breath to my right, a claw tapping slightly on a soft patch of grass to my back, now dead and crunches lightly. No twigs are snapped, no ferocious war cry to signal our deaths, no quick arrow through the brain, just... silence now. No birds chirping, no wolves lurking, no bears sleeping. Even without Darien's senses and abilities, I was still a renowned hunter of sapient life in my time.

"5" I mutter as I listen closely to another murmur to my right.

"What?" Relas asks quietly, now alert and listening to the wind.

I wave him off and noisily step forwards one, two, three, four, and stop to kneel down and lightly touch the ground there.

Wet, it hasn't rained in three days, freshly disturbed.

I roll a pinch of the dirt in my bare left hand, feeling it. I taste a small bit and it tastes gritty. I was never a good tracker, but I distinctly taste something foul. Like sharp crude oil. I carefully stand up and share a look with Relas I know he'll understand. We nod and draw out weapons as they pop out of the bushes.

"Rarr!" A Hurlock growls to our left while four darkspawn rush us from the right, all baring swords and sharp toothy grins.

"The Hurlock is mine!" Relas shouts and charges forward, duel swords flashing.

I narrow my eyes and take split second decisions. The first to approach me gets dirt in his face, my staff's orb to the knee, and a handful of Fade flames to the face. The flesh melts and burns away as it falls to the ground screaming. Dead.

The second and third are more cautious and take jabs at my flanks. I dodge under and around them, blocking with the metallic body of my staff as best I can. It takes but a moment for my opening to arise. I put slightly more force into one block and toss the third's sword into in. I grasp around it's hand holding the hilt and drive it through it's chest with a hard shove. It falls onto it's back. Dead.

The second sees this and waves his sword franticly in my direction, rushing me as I turn. A quick wrist gesture and he's encased in ice, a back-turn whack with my staff shatters it into chunks of flesh and bone.

"Ah!"

I turn to see Relas shot by the fourth's arrow, it changed tactics. Relas is vulnerable for a critical moment as the Hurlock raises it's battleaxe. The fourth turns it's arrow on me. I halt and watch both images for a split second before drawing my former bloodmagic dagger as the fourth fires. The arrow hits the blade perfectly and deflects over my shoulder. "Relas!" I use my momentum and turn as I toss the blade, snapping my wrist at the last second to place a small spin on the small dagger.

He looks up just in time and hits the ground, my dagger slams into the Hurlock's throat, a bit lower than I was aiming, but just fine. The Hurlock staggers back and over the wet ground. A slight click is heard before that entire section of the road is engulfed in flames, catching the last darkspawn in the blast as the oil-soaked ground burns away slowly.

I take in a deep breath finally as I see both darkspawn burn to death after a few short moments.

"Well, that went well." I shake my head and wipe the sweat from my brow as Relas gets back up and walks over grinning.

"By the Dread Wolf! How did you learn how to do that son?" He looks... proud.

I smile weakly, "I've... had a lot of practice." I say quietly, trying to keep it short.

He fails to notice and looks around at my kills, an obvious smirk painting his face.

Two days towards Redcliffe we here forced to slow down, meeting the edge of the Horde was unexpected, they're moving too quickly for our liking. We should have made it to Redcliffe yesterday, but with all these pit stops and detractions, we've still got a good three days left before our arrival.

I take stock of the new notches and scrapes on my robes and staff. The ruins I wove into the robes are holding well. Not enough to keep out arrows or a direct blow of course, just glances. My breath catches in my throat as I find one nearly invisible nick just between two of the twining roots covering the orb. I rub my thumb over the small fissure and focus a small bit of magic into it, activating a ward there so it would heal itself over the next week or so.

Have to be more careful. The veil could tear right open if it shatters.

The slash of a blade against flesh and a gurgling sound breaks my concentration, "Found one hiding in the bushes!" Relas calls from my right.

I shiver at the disgusting sound.

I might have killed people, hell I killed hundreds of thousands of people in my last life, but hearing... that.

I cringe at even the thought.

The feeling of you slitting someone's throat? I've never cared for. Gods that's disgusting.

Relas walks back over, his leathers now stained with darkspawn blood, he has no visible wounds for it to seep into as well from what I can see. Lucky, very lucky. "Are we good to go?" He asks, still grinning from the joy he gets out of battle.

I simply shake my head at him and turn towards the still burning road, holstering my staff I raise both hands and tap into my mana reserves to conjure a wave of chilled air that freezes the flames at the source, covering the ground in a fine icy mist. "Now we can go."

He simply follows me with slight caution in his steps as I trudge through the frosty road, past the burnt and frozen carcass of the Hurlock, and back on the path to Redcliffe.

Something that's like a curse to the immortal, a curse to me... is that I don't forget. I remember every face, every death, every single time I thought I breathed my last...

I sigh at the thought and I try to hide my distress behind a subtle shifting of my emergency potions along my belt to better accommodate my shifting pack.

Nothing will change what I did, and will do to better this world and its people.

I close my eyes a moment as we continue down the path, just... remembering. Remembering my home, my first life, the great fun I had playing games and hanging out with my friends. I feel tears come to my eyes as I find myself wanting to go back. In the whole 21 years I'd been away from that place I'd never even thought to return. I never even wondered where everyone ended up. I just... adapted, grew, moved on.

Am I a terrible person for not dwelling? Not... caring what had happened? It seemed logical for so long... but now?

I shake my head.

Oh I don't know. I suppose old age is getting to me. Ha, "old age" I guess with what I've been through I must seem ancient to anyone my "age". No, more so experienced than aged. It doesn't matter, it's never mattered. I've spent too many years away from that life to even-

I stop myself before I say it. Looking down at my hands I find it instantly unsettling that they... aren't mine. They aren't what I used to defeat countless dangers and evils in my second life. Aren't the hands that gripped my controller during every battle playing video games; they're... Darien's. An Elven Dalish hunter who failed at protecting his clan from their own First to the Keeper. Darien, the Elven boy that hunted animals in the Kocari Wilds with his father and befriended everyone, who sacrificed his life so that the Drifter, some ancient prophetic savior of the world that an ancient demonic Spirit told him about, could possess his body and run around killing stuff with his Identity.

"I wouldn't have given my life for that." I mutter quietly.

"What's that son?"

I wince at the voice, feeling both my own feelings towards Relas and Darien's mixing uncomfortably inside my gut. "Nothing, just thinking." I respond in kind.

He nods beside me, "She'll get what she's due, don't you worry."

"Sure." I avoid his gaze.

Why am I even doing this?

I take a deep breath to calm my thoughts with a mental meditative ritual I perfected in my second life. I just... listen once more, for darkspawn, for raiders, bandits, wildlife, for Relas' boots, anything and everything as we trudge down the highway, further and further west towards what my map says is the Hinterlands.


I take in a cool breath of fresh air as we move over a ridge and past a line of trees to look out over the Hinterlands. Which are apparently the hills and land surrounding Redcliffe, not the town itself. I look around me at the birds chirping high above, the yellowing grass and auburn trees lining the rivers and towers dotting the landscape. I can see workers in the many fields down below, tending to crops and ca-

I blink as I spot the strangest creature I've seen yet, some horned bull with a large body.

Relas hops down the ledge and I follow down the rocky slopes, catching myself on a few branches on the way down before falling the rest of the way into a bush. I groan as I feel a rock pressing into my side. Rolling out of the bush I hear Relas' laughter and push myself back to my feet, taking a swig of an elfroot potion to help with the bruising. "Yeah yeah, I fell, you can stop now." I crack my neck and stagger my way forwards a bit before straightening out my back and heading over to where some humans-

Some humans? Gods I really need to rethink my identity this time, before I insult someone.

"What the hell is that?" I ask as I approach a few men herding the large beasts.

The older man snarls at me while the younger man, blonde, dirt face, maybe in his early twenties, says, "You mean you've never seen a Druffalo?" in utter disbelief.

I shake my head 'no' as I peer into the deep round eyes of the beast as it chews on some hay. Its massive head turns to stare right back, snorting at me with I assume defiance as it seems to glare in annoyance at having an audience. "Druffalo..." I test the word and it seems... appropriate.

The old man grumbles something I think to be insensitive towards elves while the younger man simply smiles and starts brushing the coat of the beast. It in turn seems to huff and look indifferent towards the action. A few other of the herd of ten seem to cluster near the guy as well, keeping an eye on the new comers with something akin to curiousity while keeping their distance cautiously.

They... seem to trust him, but holy mother of- these things are huge!

I hesitate before stepping up to the Druffalo from before and reaching up to feel the fur. It doesn't respond beyond looking at me a moment. I stare unblinking into it's eyes and it seems to glare through me before swallowing, almost like it's challenging me to a staring contest. I intensify my gaze. Surprisingly it's eyes go hollow before turning it's big horns away from me so I can feel for myself. I avoid pressing too hard, fearful of creating a diplomatic incident with a creature who probably shits out things bigger than me.

It's... surprisingly soft, almost like wool the further inwards you go. Only the outer tips of the fur is rough. I finally relax as the Druffalo shakes it's head around and laps up another armful of hay into it's maw. I take it as my time to step off and back up a good two meters for good measure.

"I think she likes you." I hear Relas state from behind me. I barely catch the inflection in his voice and turn to him to see it in his eyes... confusion.

I keep his gaze, unyielding, "Yeah, I guess he does." I keep my tone even.

After a short, but pleasant conversation about Druffalo herding, the young man directed us towards some place called the Crossroads where a trading outpost was set up around some farms. I thanked him kindly and even got a crushing handshake from the older man. After consulting my map, I found out we were actually on the King's road.

This is... fascinating... I always knew Ferelden had more than a few camps and some cities, but to actually visit a farming community that lives outside of Redcliffe? Amazing. Before I was too... focused on the impending Blight to care about sight seeing. Not after Lothering at least. Everything felt... rushed, overshadowed by that sense of doom. I don't think I'd ever really gotten to know anyone outside of those I knew were big players in the campaign. Huh, a big change to... well...

I take a deep breath as I keep up with Relas' rushed pace, my mind for some reason pulling me down a dark path all of a sudden.

Before, when Pause "saved" me... I guess I lost hope to find any friends. I didn't care. I was just forced to give up on everything I'd known for twenty years! I guess I didn't cope well. Or at all. Then Erianne happened and I felt... better. Doing something right for a change. After getting kidnapped... well. I thought about attacking Flemeth a few times, forcing her to just end it. End my torment. If Morrigan hadn't needed an outside source of humanity I might have done it myself. Slice my wrists and kill myself to toss my soul back into the Fade in some hopeless attempt at waking up back in another forest. Then again, I wouldn't be killing "myself" would I.

I force myself to look away from Relas's back.

I watch the farmers to clear my head. They're hard at work tending their crops to my left and right, wooden fences here and there, it looks like they just started up here. Or maybe life really is this shitty for the commoners.

Relas and I walk further east down the road, just admiring the beauty of this place. Eventually we happen by a massive wall of rock, the Redcliffe flag raised high above and a gate open wide for travelers, shut now for attackers, or worse.

"Ho there!" The armored guards stop us right away. Both in heavy armor, gleaming silverite platemail with helmets hiding their faces. "What business do you have at the Crossroads?" The guard left of the gate asks politely, arms crossed for conversation rather than confrontation.

"We're actually hoping to pass through onto Redcliffe, we're meeting someone there." I respond.

The two guards share a look, "What kind of business?" The other lands a scrutinizing gaze on Relas specifically.

"Don't be suspicious Jeffery, these ones are probably with that fellow of theirs that passed through yesterday." The first states.

Relas speaks up, his voice flat, "'One of ours?' What did they look like?"

The first guards shrugs, "I wasn't here when it happened, just heard it from another guard. It looks like he was heading off to Redcliffe though, so maybe he's your man."

I look at Relas and he gives me a knowing look I don't recognize. I direct a question to the polite one of the two, "So are we allowed to pass?"

He shakes his head reluctantly, "Sorry, some bandits have been harassing Caravans lately at the Crossroads, we've orders to keep anyone who isn't a merchant from entering the area."

"Then how did the elf get through?" Relas' tone is hollow, threatening.

I frown at his temper, but look to the guards for an answer.

The Shemlen of the two speaks first, "He had enough coin to pay the toll."

I immediately palm my coin purse, mentally cringing as I realized I spent a good bit of it on the supplies to rebuild my staff a while back. I look inside and find ten or twenty silver and look to the Shemlen, "How much per head?"

He folds his arms, looking smug, "Two Sovereigns."

Relas growls deep within his throat and looks to me for permission to gut the Shem.

I pointedly move my gaze to the polite guard.

He looks between us all then says, "But if you were to... handle the bandits, we could let you in without trouble... right?"

"Why are we even talking to these knife-ears Rodric? They couldn't care less what happens to humans."

The Rodric glares at Jeffery, "They are beings of the Maker, just as us, and deserve respect. Don't spout your apocalyptic preaching at me Jeff or I'll have to run you through!"

Jeffery draws his sword, "You peasant! The word of Markus is law!"

I step the hell back as they do battle... shortly. Jeffery's attacks are wild, uncoordinated, Rodric's on the other hand are well-honed and he quickly knocks the sword from Jeffery's hand and tosses him to the ground, groaning from where Rodric kicked him in a low blow to loosen his grip.

He turns to us, rolling his shoulders, "Sorry about that, the young fool does have a short temper."

I shake my head, smiling. "Who's this Markus?"

Rodric shrugs, "I don't really know, Some of the Guards stationed out here seem to know. We've actually started losing men to this Markus' Cult of the Apocalypse hiding out in the Hinterlands last week. At first we thought Markus was the Bandit leader, but I suspect he's just some fanatic trying to cause trouble. His fliers pop up every now and again on the Chanter's board."

I feel the quest coming on, "So do you want us to investigate that too?" I ask.

He taps his helmet's chin in though, "Hmm, if you want to help out I guess you could, how about we go out and get rid of those bandits first."

I open my mouth to ask, but Relas catches it too and speaks first, "We?"

Rodric shrugs, "Sure, I don't like sending strangers to do a Guard's job, and from your weapons..."

I feel myself tense up involuntarily as his gaze passes to the orb peeking up over my right shoulder.

His eyes move to meet my own, "Well, I have met some Templars at the Chantry and know what a staff looks like when I see one." He crosses his arms, "I have no problem with mages, and with you being a rogue-like character as well..." He's addressing Relas. "My sword would complete the party." He looks up at the sky for a bit, before finishing the thought. "Plus my shift is almost over and I was already going to go out there myself. We'd lost too many merchants to those louts. This just seems a bit smarter don't you think?"

I smile again at his deduction, "Indeed."

Relas nods reluctantly, "I suppose we could help out, and like you said, with a complete party we've got a fighting chance."

"This is Relas, you can call me Darien." I gesture to either of us.

I find myself wincing internally at the name, a tug on my mind reminding me of who I really am.

At least this lie will be ending soon. I bet traveling anywhere around here would be difficult, and having to go through the crossroads to resupply would mean our target is definitely delayed if not stalled like ourselves.

One look with Relas lets him in on the last bit of the thought, relaxing as well as motivating him a bit.

Rodric reaches out and we shake hands, Relas avoids it by crossing his arms. "Rodric, a pleasure to meet you two. Now lets get out there." He points to the west, "We saw some scouts heading off in that direction, towards Fort Conner. The Soldiers stationed there left with the King's men about a month ago. It'd be a good place to hold up if the Bandits have any sense."

I jot down the location on my crude local map and start off in that direction. "Yeah, that sounds good, lets go."

As we walk along, I notice Rodric watching me and speak up, "Yes?"

He doesn't deny anything, "I was just curious, you ARE a mage correct?"

I pause for a moment in my steps before walking beside him, "Actually yes, I am."

Relas' glare is noted.

Rodric looks at the sky again, thinking about... something, he looks back at me, "Well, from what we heard from the Circle Tower, there really isn't a safe place for you to go. Unless we wanted to ship you off to Orlais." He laughs at the apparent joke.

I blink at him, un-reacting.

He coughs uncomfortably, "Well, I won't stop you, and people would be less inclined to turn you in if you help wipe out these bandits."

I nod at the truth in his statement, "Here's hoping."


It really doesn't take that long to reach Fort Conner, we literally passed it on the way through the farms and didn't even notice it. Tall towers, closed gates, thick stone walls. The only thing off about the fort was the lack of Redcliffe heraldry flying over head.

"There it is." Rodric states proudly, "Fort Conner, it has a history, but I doubt I could recall it."

Relas breaks his silence, "It's impressive. How are we getting in?"

I smile to both of them as I inspect the height of the walls, "That one's easy." I run forwards, magic building and curling around every fiber of my form until it flashes outwards in a cloud of black mist as I shift into my Raven form, soaring higher and higher until I'm over the walls and landing atop a post on the other side. No bandits to be found, yet. I hop off my perch and glide over to inspect the mechanism for raising the gate before flashing out of my form and pulling a lever. The counter weights clang and raise the gate with ease, if a bit loud.

Relas runs through with Rodric trailing behind him, both looking spooked. "How-?"

He's cut off as we hear a door opening behind us. We turn to see a guy walking out. "What in Andraste's-" He's cut off as he spots us and reaches for his sword, "Hey- Blugh!" is all the bandit in patchy leather armor gets out before an arrow pierces through his left eyeball with a distinct thunk.

Ew...

"Nice shot, and flight!" Rodric commends us both as he takes his sword and shield and leads the charge.

We barely make it into the entryway before Rodric's shield is hit by four arrows. None pierce the silverite, but the force behind them is enough to hold Rodric still.

Relas waits for a chance to aim but there isn't one as another volley bombards the thick steel. "Well, what do we do now?" Rodric mutters over the sound of laughter from the bandits.

I take out my staff and pull at the pieces of fade energy still trapped inside my staff, a sliver escapes to lull over my waving hand as I cast a large barrier. Relas and Rodric immediately stand at the new found protection, astonished momentarily before rushing to attack the four archers to the left and right of the stairs.

Rodric runs his two through with a lunge and shield-bash combo while Relas swaps to his swords and disarm one opponent, beheading him on the back-turn while blocking an arrow from the last, allowing for a spin-attack that slices up the guy's chest terribly. We regroup as eight warriors charge up the stairs towards us. "Andraste's tits!" Rodric barely redirects the two greatswords with his shield.

Relas' parry-jabs take down one warrior as he and Rodric go side-to-side to block the stairway.

I survey the field of battle and pinpoint the heavy hitter, the bandit leader in heavy platemail and wielding a large bastard sword in the back of the room. Grabbing at my personal mana this time, I rush the front line and spin around, scraping my staff's tip across the stone in a wide berth at the warriors' feet, casting an intense cone of cold that just manages to freeze five or six of them solid.

Rodric, able to holster his surprise, uses that opportunity to charge, crashing into three of them and shattering them out-right, Relas just beheads the other frozen warriors as those remaining go into a full on panic, rushing us. Their uncoordinated attacks make them easy kills for Rodric and Relas.

I direct my magic on an immolate that I place right at feet of the last two with enough sense to stay back plus the leader. My outstretched hand licks against the last wisp of our barrier as I focus on forcing more than enough magic into the ancient rune. I feel the world around me darken as a strange sensation creeps into my head, I shut it away and release the energy I built up.

Then something unexpected happens.

One moment I'm casting a well-practiced spell-weaving effect where I energize my own spell with fade energy to overcharge it. The next I'm back outside with Rodric laying next to me and Relas trying to get me up while I hear the distinct sounds of snapping and crackling bones coming from inside the fort's interior.

"Oh... what happened?" I ask as I barely manage to stand up with Relas' help, my ears ringing a small bit.

Rodric gets up slowly, holding his helmet a bit where it had been dented , "You... blew them up! By all the holy... they just-" He shakes his head, "That was insane! What did you do?"

I just blink at him before watching the entrance of the fort as it's engulfed in wild Fade Flames. "I... just focused the energy of the Fade into my spell like usual and..."

"BOOM!" Relas shouts, "THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED!" He sounds pissed, "YOU JUST REACHED OUT AND BOOM! EVERYTHING WENT FLYING!"

We both cringe at his voice.

"You're a bit loud Relas." Rodric states clearly, his voice shaking with surprised by the turn of events.

He holds his hands over his ears, "MY EARS ARE STILL RINGING!" He shakes his head, "AM I TALKING TOO LOUD?"

Rodric and I cringe again and say together, "YES!"

"OH ALRIGHT."

We shake our heads and take a look at ourselves and our surroundings. I'm covered in bloodstains, so is Relas, Rodric's armor is cracked in some places and we found his shield impaled in the wooden gate on the far outer wall after some searching. I still have my staff and it seems my barrier protected us from the brunt of the explosion.

"All in all I think this was a victory." I state after the flames die out and we find all the bodies inside turned into chunks of gore.

Rodric and Relas can only nod in agreement.


On the walk back to the gate we were given some frightened looks by the farmers. One woman even ran up to us from the far side of the plain and asked what that loud explosion was. When we told her it was us taking out the bandits, she nearly hugged us, and then hurled as she noticed we were covered in blood and gore. Relas was very uncomfortable with the exchange, while Rodric and I smiled and tried to keep our laughter from carrying.

He's... not your usual human, he's very open and convicted with his opinions, which alone is rare these days.

As we're coming up to the gate, the entrance into the crossroads, I'm reminded of the night I left, the days after, and my choice.

I definitely have regrets, about how I handled Erianne, the circle, the elves, especially Alistair. Gods... Owain. I fucking killed him without hesitation. I didn't care. I remember trying to justify it, then ignoring any NEED to justify it. I needed to kill Sloth. I needed to save as many as I could. Fuuuuck I probably scarred Cullen for life! I just...

I frown as we get closer to the gate to the crossroads.

What am I if despair can drive me to committing such acts?

We notice that Jeffery is gone and another guard is watching the gate.

The irony is that I don't actually know what I am anymore. Elf, Human, Ghost... "Drifter". *sigh* maybe it doesn't matter anymore.

"Rodric? Where the hell have you been? What happened to standing your ground!" A helmeted guard shouts as we approach, voice hard and confining, muffled but clearly feminine.

Rodric's posture stiffens ever-so-slightly, "I was standing my ground Emily. We finally took the battle to those louts at fort Conner."

She drops her arms, surprise in her posture, her hands shake slightly as she just stands there, watching him, "You did what?" She whispers. Her head turns to Relas and I, I can tell she's in shock, but still conflicted at the sight of two blood-covered elves. "Just the three of you? Took out Bradly and his gang?"

Rodric nods resolutely.

It takes about three more seconds before she bursts out laughing.

Ok, well... that was unexpected.

She buckles and her helmet falls off, she barely catches it and pushes off the ground to chuck it at Rodric, he catches it, unamused, "Stop making shit up man! Haha!"

He nods to me and I take off the skin I wrapped after we finished at the fort, "Which one?"

Rodric looks over my shoulder and points to the one near the bottom. "That one, with the scraggly hair."

I sigh and reluctantly reach through, pulling out Bradly's slightly incinerated, but clearly his, severed head. I cringe as some skin falls off as I hold it up to Emily.

She pales immediately, "Oh... sod." She mutters before ripping her helmet out of Rodric's hands and taking the skin of bandit heads from me.

"Good riddance, rotting heads really stink." I wrinkle my nose and feel my ears twitch in disgust.

She pulls her helmet back on and nods to us, "I'll get these back to the barracks." She looks to Rodric, "Good work Rodric, maybe we'll catch a drink later?"

He crosses his arms and nods immediately.

"Open the gate!" Emily shouts through the metal bars.

A few moments later the gate raises to a cave.

"Come on, we've wasted enough time." Relas pushes past us and stomps into the barely lit pathway.

I dash after him, noticing the look in his eye, anger, frustration. "Hey!"

He slows down at my voice as we step over some roots covering the dirt under our boots "What we did does not help things son, these... humans are ridiculously incompetent."

I frown to him, "And yet we're going to help them anyways. It's no wonder Humans see us as the enemy if we cannot even look past their race to help when it matters most."

He looks over at me, his gaze making me uneasy, "They really have gotten to you, haven't they."

A statement, not question.

I open my mouth to refute it.

He stops me, "I don't care son, every moment we waste on these... Humans... the longer She has time to disappear forever!"

I feel something shift in the back of my mind as I clench my fists and step in-front of him, "Ara seranna-ma? Ghilan'him banal'vhen, ma melava halani din! Mana! Tel garas solasan!" (Excuse me? The path that leads astray, you helped me go against that! Stop! Don't come to a prideful place!)

He blinks slowly at me, absorbing my words. "Bellanaris."

I frown at the word.

He stares into my eyes with purpose, "Bellanaris, isala din'an."

I freeze on the spot, just... completely stop, and try to understand the statement.

He notices my confusion and his eyes turn to sorrow, "Dirthera ma, Len, melana mala nuvenin renan." (tell me, child, time for your want to be voiced.)

I close my eyes, "Relas-"

He cuts me off, "Fen'Harel ma ghilana!"

I shake my head, "This isn't the time Relas." I turn away to hide myself, push away from that conversation. I move with purpose, stepping quickly out of the short cavern under the hills and further towards the crossroads. I notice Rodric was watching us from further down the path and try to ignore his stare as I fight the conflict in my heart.

Suffering spirits of the past burn into my head, thoughts about people I've never met, never spoken to, never kissed in the moonlight, never fought within the wilds against that wyvern that somehow wanders so far east.

Life.

Las.

Din'an.

Death.

Las.

Din'an.

Renan.

Revas.

Nehn.

Numin.

I look down at my hands and see two hands, on them ten fingers. One gloved, one not. Two mirrors of a life that was forced upon me, but I also chose, but I couldn't survive it, and I did survive it.

Did I survive it?

"Argh!" I clench my hands as the memories start to bleed together before separating again. I push Darien's down, back into the deepest crevasse of my mind. "Las..." I hear myself whisper, like a mantra to snap myself out of the despair creeping into back into my soul. I snap out of it to find myself staring blankly at a relatively attractive young dwarven woman raking up some wheat behind a fence.

She's blushing the last I see as I ignore the anomaly in favor of keeping myself together. I start walking back down the road towards the crossroads opting to pretend that I hadn't just about lost myself to the darkness of my own insanity.

Again.

I would have laughed if I wasn't terrified.


A/N I really have no idea how often I'm going to update any of my stories. I found a good blend of personal motivation and urge to create over the last few months so I've been thinking for a while about why I write stories. It's a hobby that I love, but needs to stay something I enjoy doing. I'm used to sitting down and typing for seven hours straight, just diving into my stories, because I love what I write.

I stopped writing completely a year ago to try and focus on college, and I lost my motivation as I stopped caring about my classes. It's a rude awakening that I never really took it seriously. I needed to take it like a job I need to work my hardest at. Not something you want to say three years into a four year degree. Well, now I do.

I'm motivated and going to work on my stories when I want to instead of pushing myself to get it done because it's been two and a half years since I started writing. I'm excited to try and make a great adventure out of Drifter's Journey and maybe do some smaller one-offs along the way. Needless to say this is going to be sporadic, uncoordinated, and I'm going to hop around a bit. Change a few things here and there. Some months I'll update two or three times, others I won't at all. What I can promise you all is this: I am not dead, these stories are not dead, and I'm finishing these things before I'm 24... hopefully. (I'm 22 this October.)