Part VII: Together
"...You said you don't have to speak
I can hear you
I can't feel all things you've ever felt before
I said it's been a long time
Since someone looked at me that way
It's like you knew me
And all the things I couldn't say..."
"Together" - The xx
Saturday
September 6, 1922
It was like watching a flower die.
Nick watched Rebecca as she stood in the entry hall of Gatsby Manor. Tilly was helping her with her gloves and hat. They both knew that Daisy would be at the house soon and neither of them could bear to see her. Nick hadn't been able to look Daisy in the eye since she'd started the whole affair with Gatsby. He was sure Rebecca wasn't able to look at the woman keeping her husband's bed warm at night either.
Nick didn't blame her for it.
No, he blamed himself instead for everything that was happening. Gatsby hadn't completely kicked Rebecca out of the manor, but he demanded she leave when Daisy was coming. If Daisy wasn't there, Gatsby wanted her out of his sight and that meant Rebecca was usually confined to her apartments.
Nick had tried to reason with Gatsby but he wouldn't listen. The man was so hell bent on being with Daisy that he couldn't see the dying flower in front of him. If it wasn't for Matthew Spring, Nick wondered if Rebecca would still be alive. Ashby Manor had become her sanctuary in ways that Nick couldn't even begin to understand. When Gatsby forced her to leave her own home, Ashby was the first place she went and Nick knew why.
He'd seen the looks between Rebecca and Matthew. He'd seen how Matthew's hand would brush over hers and he'd seen them sitting far too close together on plenty occasions. Matthew Spring was far quieter about what was happening with Rebecca than Gatsby was with Daisy. Nick wasn't sure if they were sleeping together or not but, it was obvious that they had feelings for each other. When Rebecca was at Ashby Manor it was like she bloomed again.
He'd never seen her smile like she did when Matthew was around. Something inside her came out and she had a glow about her that Nick had never seen in all the time he'd known her. Being at Ashby House so often, Nick had become close with Elizabeth. She'd told him that Rebecca had once been lively and full of laughter before becoming Mrs. Gatsby. Intentionally or not, Gatsby had done his best to extinguish the light inside her. Matthew was the only thing keeping that light alive until Rebecca could keep it alive for herself.
Rebecca took a look in the mirror and nodded once at Tilly before she turned to look at him. She was pretty in a soft grey coat that went to her knees. Her hair was pulled back in an elegant bun and the netting from her hat covered part of her face.
"Are you staying to see your cousin?" she asked him. Nick doubted that Rebecca was even able to say 'Daisy' or 'Mrs. Buchanan'. Even he had a hard time saying them. The words felt like acid on his tongue. Walking towards the door, Nick nodded to one of the footmen to get his coat and gloves as Rebecca watched him.
"I was only teasing Nick," she said softly. "I know that she is your cousin. I don't want to cause a rift in your family. You don't have to come with me to Ashby. I will be fine on my own, I promise."
Nick smiled, "I want to go. Trust me when I say that I'd rather be at Ashby House than here at Gatsby's."
Rebecca smiled back gently at him, but it didn't quite reach her hollow eyes. The delicate features of her face were sharper and her clothing hung on her slender frame. She'd been steadily losing weight since the night Matthew had come to get her at his cottage. Everything had been stressful since then and Nick had seen plenty of reporters and photographers following her every step. They stuck their cameras and notebooks in her face demanding to know things about her and Gatsby. Matthew had done everything he could to keep the affair out of the papers. However, the glittering parties Gatsby hosted were now over and people wanted to know why.
There had been plenty of times Nick had used himself as a body shield for Rebecca. Even Brighton had and it had resulted in him being bruised on multiple occasions. Security around the ground and house had increased, but Nick suspected that it was only for Daisy's benefit. Gatsby did nothing for Rebecca as she was hounded by New York for answers. It had been Matthew that had assigned a few of his own footmen to following her once she left Gatsby grounds. All Tilly had to do was call Ashby House letting the butler there know that Rebecca was leaving and Matthew's men would meet them at the location Rebecca was heading to.
Nick slipped his coat on with Crawley's help and watched Rebecca as she stared at the doors. An unreadable expression was on her face, but her shoulders were stiff. When she turned back to look at him, Nick could see the anxiety in her eyes. She wanted to leave sooner rather than later. Rebecca avoided both Tom and Daisy Buchanan like the plague. He had begun to avoid his cousin and her husband. Being in their presence made him feel a little sick and for the first time in a long time, Nick could see both of them for what they really were.
"The car is outside, ma'am," Crawley said. "When shall we expect you back?"
"Not tonight," Rebecca smiled at the older man. "I'm staying with my sister and helping her pick out furniture for the new rooms in my parent's house. I will be back sometime tomorrow."
Crawley nodded and Nick watched Rebecca wondering what exactly she was planning.
It was hours later and Nick watched from the library window as Matthew stopped walking on the gravel path. He playfully reached for her hand and whatever he said made her laugh. She fell into him and he wrapped his arms around her with a smile. Seeing them both together wasn't something Nick was used to and he felt his own anger at Mary Harper simmer underneath his skin.
Maybe Elizabeth had been right.
If Mary hadn't acted selfishly, would Matthew have married Rebecca instead?
There were so many what ifs swirling in his mind that he barely noticed when Elizabeth entered the library and sat down on the leather wing backed chair next to him.
"They make a pretty pair don't they?"
Nick nearly jumped and looked down at the youngest Harper sister. She stared up at him expectantly before standing up and walking towards a wall of books.
"I don't think I've ever seen Matthew smile as much as he has been, Rebecca too for that matter," Elizabeth sighed. "My mother always said marry the older men so they die quickly. Pity Gatsby is in such superb health."
Nick's eyebrows shot up, "You wish your brother-in-law was dead?"
"No," Elizabeth replied with the wave of her hand. "I wish he'd never met Rebecca or that he was twice her age. I even wish that the Gatsby I remember returned. I never imagined that things would end up like they are. It's a true pity because Matthew will be gone in a year…maybe two."
"Why will he be gone?"
"He's an Earl, Mr. Carraway, or did you forget? His estate, Highland Court, is one of the wealthiest estates in all of England if not the United Kingdom. Matthew is so modest, but how do you think he has all the money to buy off the newspapers from printing anything about Gatsby's affair? He'll return to England eventually. He can't be away for long. His mother, no matter how much she loves Rebecca, will throw a fit if he's gone too long. She kept talking about heirs and I think Matthew needed a break. Not to mention, he came back here for Rebecca."
"He was hoping to marry Rebecca and have children?"
"That's the thing," Elizabeth sighed. "Matthew can't have a children. A doctor in London confirmed it as did a doctor here in New York. He was hoping that Rebecca would marry him anyway. The dowager countess doesn't know about his infertility. I don't know what he's going to do, but he's heartbroken about it. He would make such wonderful father."
"Will he go back to England and find a bride?" Nick asked as he sat down in the library chair that Elizabeth had been sitting in minutes before.
"No. Matthew told me he refuses to marry anyone but Rebecca. The estate he owns is not entailed on anyone. He's the last of the Spring family. He's spoken with a lawyer here in New York and one in London. When he dies the estate will pass to Rebecca. Should she die before him, the estate is reverted to me. Either way, Matthew will make it so that Rebecca will never have to worry about having a place to live or money. He told he might not be able to marry her, but he will provide for her none the less. It's quite romantic really."
Nick took a moment to absorb everything that Elizabeth had told him and was shocked. It wasn't possible to doubt Matthew's love for Rebecca in any capacity. The man was leaving everything he owned to her when he died. It was shocking.
"What about the title?" he asked.
"The title goes to Rebecca's son," Elizabeth said as she picked up a book. "Granted, the boy will have to take on Matthew's last name. He'll be educated and such in England, but I think Matthew wants to make sure that he can still make a right and proper Earl from his grave. You and I know that Rebecca's children will be right and proper. She won't raise any Tom Buchanan characters. She's too sweet and kind. Her and Matthew's personalities are so similar. I can only imagine that her children will be like him. God willing she has any children. Any more questions?"
A teasing smile crossed Elizabeth's face as she looked at him. Nick couldn't help but to smile back at her. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and slowly walked towards her.
"How exactly do you know all these things?"
"A lady never reveals her secrets," Elizabeth teased. "Now, it too nice to be indoors. What do you say to a game out on the lawns? I'm sure that we can drag Matthew and Rebecca away from each other for a little while to play something."
Nick nodded with a smile in agreement. He was surprised when Elizabeth Harper's soft, delicate hand grabbed his wrist and she laughingly pulled him out of the library.
Sunday
September 7, 1922
Rebecca couldn't sleep.
She'd tossed and turned all night and now as she looked at the clock that read it was a little after three, she sighed. The whole day had been wonderful. Being with Matthew had made her heart ache and fly at the same time. He was torturous sometimes because it felt like life was giving her a glance at what could have been. Her world would have been so different if Matthew had just told her he loved her before he'd gone off for war, but she'd been fifteen at the time and so young.
Finally pushing back the plush covers from the guest bed, Rebecca let herself sit on the side of the bed and stare out across the bay. The light from Gatsby's dock shown like a beacon in the night and it taunted her. It was the white light, entrancing her and beckoning her to come towards it. The white light had resulted in nothing but pain and Rebecca was sure that if she went back towards Gatsby, back towards that light, it would burn her.
The past couldn't be undone and the memories couldn't be erased from her mind. Gatsby had created a canyon between them and no matter how much she'd tried to stop it early in their marriage, she hadn't been able to build a bridge between them. She could remember ever harsh word and icy glare he gave. She could remember all the hurts and the many lonely nights she'd spent alone in the music room. The painful ache that had gone away for the few hours she had been with Matthew returned. Rebecca stood up slowly from bed and grabbed the thin lace robe that Tilly had brought over.
She needed to walk or get a book from the library. Anything to take her mind off the thoughts in her head and it almost made Rebecca laugh. Even from across the bay, Gatsby had a way of haunting her.
Standing up, she felt the cool wood floors beneath her bare feet. Tying the sash around her waist into a bow, Rebecca walked towards the doors. Slipping out into the hall and letting the moonlight from the windows guide her around the house, Rebecca found the library with ease. The book she'd been reading earlier was still sitting on a small circular table by the window. Grabbing it, Rebecca began to retreat back towards her room, but stopped when she spied Matthew in his study all alone. He was pacing the room as he read a letter of some kind and it made her smile. He was handsome and she couldn't ignore the butterflies in her stomach. The bow-tie he'd been wearing earlier in the evening was gone along with the suit jacket and vest. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his forearms and his suspenders had been pushed off his shoulders. The hung limply at his sides and the combed back hair that had been perfect earlier in the morning was beginning to fall in his eyes. Goosebumps covered Rebecca's skin and she wasn't sure if it was the chill in the air or if it was from Matthew.
The icy floors stung her feet and when she shifted her weight, the floor creaked. Matthew's head jerked up and his eyes met hers as she stood in the doorway watching him.
"Spying, darling?" he asked with a smile. "I thought you'd outgrown that habit."
His words brought a smile to her own lips as she held up her book.
"I came to get something to read. I can't sleep," she told him as she stepped into the study. "Why aren't you in bed?"
"A letter from my mother arrived," Matthew said. "I haven't read it since it was delivered two days ago. I figured that I'd just get it over with."
"Is it as bad as you thought it would be?"
"Worse,"he smiled. "She seems to forget that in a few months I'll be thirty."
"It's hard to imagine you as thirty. I still can't get the sixteen year old boy out of my head. It's like every year you become more handsome," she whispered. "It's your smile that always captivates me. Even as a young girl your smile had a way of making my heart race like the horses at the Kentucky Derby."
Matthew was silent as he walked towards her. There was a look in his eyes that she vaguely recognized as desire. Before she could think anything on it, Matthew lips were against hers and she felt the familiar warmth his touch gave her spread through her veins like wild fire. The book easily fell from her finger tips to the floor, but Rebecca barely noticed.
Just feeling Matthew touching her was all she needed. In the past weeks, they'd stolen so many kisses from each other. Nothing, however, compared to the way he was kissing her in that moment.
His lips were firm, but gentle against hers. His hands tightly gripped her hips. The kiss lasted for a moment and when Matthew pulled back, Rebecca looked at him for only a moment before he took her hand. He walked her slowly from the study and through the house. They stopped at a door and Rebecca knew what lay beyond it.
"All you have to do is tell me no and I'll walk you back to your room," he told her softly with his hand on the door knob.
Rebecca looked up and him. She quickly popped to the tips of her toes. Her lips press against his with gentle pressure and there was no turning back. They were quickly through the door that went to his bedroom and Matthew swiftly kicked off his shoes. The belt that was around Rebecca waist was quickly undone and the robe was quickly tossed aside revealing the creamy silk nightgown that she'd worn to bed. The thin straps went over her shoulders and the hem went to the floor. As they stumbled towards the large bed in a passionate flurry of desperate kisses and searching hands, Rebecca could feel Matthew's hands touching her through the thin fabric of the night gown and it only made her burn more. She didn't care about anything else but being with Matthew.
Her arms went around Matthew's neck as he wrapped an arm around her waist. He quickly lifted her up and they both fell back into the cool blankets of the bed. Matthew's lips never left her as his warm, hard body covered hers. It was like being wrapped up in one warm blanket as her own body warmed to his. Her heart was pounding in her chest again as Matthew's hand trailed up the outside of her thigh. His lips lefts hers as he kissed every inch of skin he could reach. Her fingers delving into his hair as his nipped at a particular part of her neck that they both knew would drive her mad with desire. Rebecca gave a soft moan as she arched against him. Her head fell back into the pillows as his lips returned to her with a deeper kiss than ever before. She began tugging his shirt out of his trousers and teasing her hands under to his skin beneath. It was warm as soft and it only made her desire to touch all of him multiple tenfold.
With sudden determination, Rebecca pushed gently at Matthew's shoulders. It took effort to part her lips from his. He leaned on his elbows and gazed down at her breathlessly and she could see the passion in his eyes that was reflected in hers. Even just looking at him, she could feel his lips on hers. Rebecca's eyes never left his as she reached up and slowly undid each button of his shirt. Each moment that passed as she took her time only added to her excitement and she bit her bottom lip. Her fingers tips ran down and brush the fair hair of his chest that had been lying underneath the snow white shirt. All the while, Matthew watched her and she ran her palms slowly over his chest. Her soft hands traveled over his chest and up to his shoulders. Her fingertips brushed over his neck until her hands reach his face. She cupped his cheeks as her thumbs tracing over his cheek bones.
"Matthew…" Rebecca whispered before she leaned up and placed a single kiss to his lips. His lips lingered against hers for a moment before she sank back down in the cool sheets and pillows of the bed. Her fingers clutched the panels of Matthew's shirt as she pulled him down with her. Rebecca threaded her fingers back into his hair as he sucked lightly at her bottom lip. When oxygen became a must, she pulled back. Her eyes met his eyes and she could see the question he was asking her in them. He'd always let her control how far their kisses went and she knew that even if she asked him to leave, Matthew would let her. Rebecca also knew that she wanted him and she couldn't stop him even if she wanted to.
In truth, she didn't want him to stop.
She wanted all of him and she wanted to be one with him. She trusted him with her life and knew that he'd never hurt her. He loved her far too much to do that and she'd grown to love him too. This was right and it was what she wanted more than anything. They were so close that Rebecca could have brushed her lips brushed against his. His warm breath tickled her as she brushed her nose against his softly. She simply nodded to him and it was all encouragement he needed.
His eyes darkened as his gaze lingered on her body. His lips met her in a heated frenzy and she gave herself up to him. His lips brushed over hers as they sank into the powerful feeling that existed between them. Her low moan reverberated into his mouth, and he deepened his kiss even more if it was possible. Rebecca eyes closed as she relished the taste of his on her lips and the way his body molded perfectly to hers.
Caressing greedily and learning each place that had not yet been known to each other was all she could think about. Matthew undressed her, slowly. He relished each part of newly revealed skin with kisses and caresses that made her shiver against him. His hands touched her body as he pushed up her nightgown higher and higher until Rebecca moved to help him take it off. She couldn't help the blush that crossed her cheeks as Matthew gazed down at her naked form. It was the first time that any man had seen her like she was.
When he groaned aloud at the sight of her, Rebecca bit her bottom lip in nervous anticipation. She froze when his hand moved towards her chest. She felt her breath catch in her throat and goose bumps cover her skin as the back of Matthew's knuckles drifted like a feather across her chest bone and down over the taunt, flat skin of her stomach. His hand grasped her hips before they both released a breath. His hands stroked her skin again as they moved back up towards her chest and when his palm slid to cover her breasts. Her lips parted in a silent gasp, her eyes fluttered shut as she lost herself to his touch, desire pulsing quickly through her veins.
Instinctively, she knew she wanted something, but she wasn't sure what. Her hands crept up to Matthew's cheeks again and she pulled him into a passionate kiss that made her toes curl. She moaned softly against his lips in protest when he dragged them away down her chin, though it was lost in a strangled moan as one of his hands was replaced by his mouth. Her back arched as something akin to electricity pulsed through her veins. All Rebecca could think about was getting herself closer to the moist heat of his tongue which was stroking her hard nipple. His lips suckled and teased her skin as her whole body shook with unrestrained pleasure. Warmth pooled in her belly as her body began to take on a life of its own in response to the pleasure Matthew was causing.
Matthew's hands and lips continued on and on. He worshiped both her breasts equally and when Rebecca thought she would burst with pleasure, he stopped leaving her crying out in protest. A smile crossed Matthew's lips briefly before he began trailing his lips and tongue down her abdomen. His hands brushed over her bare hips and down. His fingertips traveled slowly over her skin leaving goose bumps in their wake as Matthew's warm touch and the cool night air battled for dominance.
Everywhere his fingertips went, his lips and tongue followed. They made a path with searing, hot kisses. Down over her thighs and all the way to her toes was his path. The pleasurable feeling came rushing back harder than before when Matthew had been touching her breasts. Soft moans escaped her throat and Rebecca wasn't even sure she could breathe when Matthew's hands and lips returned her hips. He kissed her soft skin tenderly as she tangled her fingers in his hair and arched her back.
Her fingers grasped his shoulders tugged at his shirt as the raging fire between them quickly turned into an inferno of white, hot heat. Matthew pulled himself up, up to meet her lips in a hurried, desperate kiss that left them both breathless and desiring more. She pushed his shirt down his arms and Matthew tossed it away as Rebecca blindly reached for the button on his pants. She fumbled with only a moment before she managed to undo it. His trousers came off quickly and were kicked away. Everything was off and Rebecca could feel him. His hot body pressed against hers and his hardness against her thigh. The room suddenly didn't feel cool anymore.
Instead, everything felt like it was on fire from the tips of her toes to the delicious, raging inferno between her legs where she ached to be touched. Matthew kissed her again as he shifted. He settled himself between her legs which had easily fallen open to him. There was no going back and Rebecca didn't want to even consider it. She'd heard the horror stories from other women about their first times, but she trusted Matthew. He wouldn't hurt her and everything he'd done so far had left her wanton and desperate for more.
Matthew's hands slipped between them and when he brushed over her womanly folds, Rebecca tensed. It wasn't from pain nor fear, it was the hot pleasure she felt as his fingers touched her wetness. She wasn't sure how it'd happened or when, but she didn't care. Matthew's thumb brushed against her bundle of nerves and Rebecca couldn't help how her hips arched or the gasping breath she'd took. She closed her eyes as he thumb moved over that singular spot over and over again. The coil low in her belly tightened and just when Rebecca felt like every muscle in her body was going to constrict, Matthew stopped and left her crying out in protest again. He chuckled as she opened her eyes and glared at him. Before she could say anything biting to him, Matthew quickly took hold of himself and guided his hard shaft forwards. He quickly found her warmth as Rebecca tensed.
"Relax," Matthew breathed to her. "I can't promise it won't hurt this one time. Just relax, everything will be easier if you just relax and listen to your body."
With that, he slowly slid into her. It wasn't as painful as she thought it would be. The pain only lasted a second and then was slowly replaced by different feelings. Matthew had stopped moving once he'd pressed himself all the way into her and when she shifting her hips to accommodate him further, he gave a loud moan of pleasure. Her shifting her hips was all it took for Matthew to start moving his own hips in as steady rhythm. They began to move together, slowly at first. Both unsure as the grasped at each new rush of pleasure until their bodies found the right tempo.
Rebecca's eyes rolled back as her senses took everything in. Their bodies were molding together and everything was heat, and sweat, and skin. Matthew's lips dipped to her neck where he could feel her pulse quickening under his tongue and where he could taste the sweetness of her soft skin. Every part of her body was overwhelmed and never before had Rebecca felt like every nerve ending could be touched.
Every movement, every thrust that drove him deeper within her brought her closer and closer to the cliff of pleasure. She gasped his name over and over again like a prayer as he moaned softly against her skin. It was as if they were claiming each other and Rebecca welcomed each gasp, moan, pant and touch with eagerness. Her hands sought out the silky, slick skin of his back, shoulders and hips as pressing her grasped at something to hold. She could feel his broad muscles shift under the skin as he thrust against her and it fascinated her.
Rebecca hooked her legs over his hips in a desperate effort to draw him impossibly nearer as her heels rested on his lower back. Their skin seemed to melt together ever they touch as their hips meshed together in quickening clashes of friction and desire. The pace quickened and Rebecca wasn't sure of anything in that moment but Matthew and the pleasure their bodies brought each other.
Over and over again their bodies came together and pleasure rippled through her body unlike anything she'd ever experienced. She trembled underneath him. Anything beyond him and that moment she couldn't comprehend. All she could think about was the glorious way he made her feel as he pressed himself into her deeper. He groan against her neck as his hands traveled over her body. The movement of his hips within her created a buildup of heat. The frantic urgency of his hips pounding into her sent heat spreading through her core, up her body, down her thighs to her toes. It pulsed through her and kept building and building until it launched her off a cliff with a sudden rush of unimaginable pleasure that she'd never experienced before. Rebecca cried out his name loudly as she clutched his hands desperately above her head. Every part of her hummed as wave after wave brought her unbelievable pleasure. If her eyes were open, Rebecca sure she'd have been seeing stars. Matthew met her own cries of pleasure matched her own as he lost control.
His hips slammed wildly into hers as groans tore from his throat. The both rode out the waves of pleasure that were sweeter and hotter than they could ever imagine. With feelings passing over them like a tsunami, everything shattered around them into a fire of heat and wonderful pleasure that Rebecca had never experienced. She didn't want the feeling to end as he bucked against her. Matthew gave two last thrusts before spilling into her and collapsing down against her sweaty flesh. He pressed his forehead against hers as they trembled together. The last of pleasure jerked through their bodies as tiny muscle spasms. When Rebecca's legs relaxed around his hips and her heels fell to the bed, Matthew pushed himself to his elbows to look down at her. He looked down at her and she smiled back at him weakly when she finally opened her eyes.
"Can we do that again?"
He let out a barking laugh before he bent his head and kissed her softly. Rebecca sighed happily as she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight to her.
"As many times as you want," he told with a grin.
"Lots of times," she promised as Matthew collapsed down next to her.
"You'll have to let me recover first," he smiled as he closed his eyes. As Matthew laid on his back, Rebecca turned on her side to curl up next to him under the soft sheets. The light on Gatsby's dock could be seen from the large bay window of Matthew's bedroom and looking out across the bay. A feeling passed through Rebecca that she couldn't quite place until a few minutes after Matthew had fallen asleep.
Guilt.
Six Months Later
Thursday
February 12, 1923
It was chilly in the early morning as Nick stood in his kitchen. Making tea as quickly as he could to warm his frigid bones, the last thing he expected was to hear a knock on his door shortly before eight o'clock in the morning.
He was dressed in a dark suit and tie with a heavy wool jacket. Leather gloves covered his hands and without preamble, Gatsby strode into the cottage. Nick looked out to see a silver Rolls Royce in parked with an unfamiliar driver.
"It's my winter car," Gatsby explained as Nick closed the door. "Hubert is one of the drivers I employ."
"So, Rebecca has her car and you have yours," Nick said with nod. "You'll never get stuck waiting on her somewhere, I guess."
Gatsby didn't say anything as he clasped his hands behind his back and looked around Nick house. All the while, Nick watched Gatsby trying to figure out why the man was in his cottage at eight o'clock in the morning. He worried that something had happened to Rebecca in the middle of the night, but he quickly stopped himself.
Nick didn't even know if Rebecca had gone home last night to Gatsby House. She'd been spending so much time at both Harper House and Ashby House that he wasn't sure where she was at. If he didn't know where she was at, Nick doubted that Gatsby knew or even cared. There was one nagging thought in his mind that maybe Gatsby was looking for Rebecca in the cottage, but Nick would let him search the house high and low. Gatsby wouldn't find anything and Nick wasn't so sure he'd be willing to tell Gatsby where Rebecca was at exactly.
She seemed so happy with Matthew and her sister that he was very reluctant to tell Gatsby anything about her current happiness. A second thought crossed his mind reminding him that Gatsby probably didn't care where Rebecca was. As long as she was out of the way, Gatsby was more than happy.
"Not many changes in a few months, old sport?" Gatsby finally said as he turned around to look at him.
"No," Nick agreed as he looked around the entry hall. "I like my cottage just the way it is, but you've changed."
His eyes met Gatsby's and there was something unreadable in them. For a few seconds they stared at each other until Gatsby turned away and walked into the formal parlor. He stood looking out at the bay as the wind blew some of the dead leaves across the back porch. Nick rarely went out there now. All he could think about when he stood on that porch was Rebecca sobbing on the floor as Matthew comforted her. The memory did nothing to ease his guilt about the affair. It only served to confuse him more. He neither approved of Rebecca's actions nor did he condone them.
"I was hoping you could help me, old sport," Gatsby said as he gripped the top of the mantle.
"With?" Nick asked quietly as he sat down slowly in a chair.
Jay moved away from the mantle and turned towards the window. He stared out at the house across the bay before turning and looking at Nick.
"Daisy and I are both ready to leave our empty marriages," Gatsby said. "I was hoping you would be there when we tell Rebecca and Buchanan."
Something inside Nick snapped at that moment. He was done playing games with other people and he was done playing with Gatsby. All he'd done for Gatsby was keep secrets and watch the look on Rebecca's face over and over again as she was hurt again and again. He couldn't do what Gatsby was asking him. He'd hurt Rebecca and he wasn't going to do it again.
"She cares about you!" he shouted as he stood up. "You don't get it do you? Rebecca married you because she loved you! I think that she still loves you, but you've done your best to push her out of your life, Jay. You will ruin your marriage to her if you do this. There isn't any going back. You'll lose her forever if you haven't already lost her to-"
"You think I ever wanted Rebecca?" Gatsby shouted back. "Marrying her was business and nothing more! She isn't Daisy!"
"And courting her? She told me everything the night you had Daisy and Buchanan over to party! You made her fall in love with you! The flowers and everything! You did to lead her on. You've done nothing but lie to her and now you're going to leave her for my cousin who won't leave Tom Buchanan for anything!"
"I love Daisy! I want to be with the woman I love!"
"You love the idea of Daisy and you together!" Nick shouted. "If you could just see past this infatuation you have with my cousin you'd see everything about her is fake! Nothing about her is real! You've created a woman in your mind that doesn't exist!"
"Don't you dare say that about her, Carraway!"
"It's the truth, Gatsby!"
"No! Daisy is kind and loving. She accepts people for who they are and she cares about everyone."
"My cousin is a shallow whore who will do anything to get gifts and keep her material needs satisfied. You think you're the first man she's had an affair with?" Nick demanded. "You're a fool if you think that! You're not the first man to come under her spell! That I can promise you without a doubt!"
"I told you not to talk about her like that!" Gatsby yelled as he knocked the clock off the mantle.
"It's the truth and you need to hear it before you make the mistake of your life. The woman you just described my cousin as being isn't even close to her real character! You just described your wife to me, Gatsby! You just described Rebecca! The woman you married."
"Rebecca is none of those things."
"You're so blinded by Daisy that you don't see what's going around you! Have you seen Rebecca? The wife that you push out of her own home so that you're mistress can take her place? She's miserable and you don't care about her! You're going to break her heart. I'm not sure that it can ever be fixed."
"She's young. She'll get over it," Gatsby said indifferently as he turned and smoothed his hair back.
"Like her sister did? Like Mary Harper when Tom Buchanan left her and her unborn child? You had to have known about Mary's suicide and child when you let the Buchanan's into your house! Why would you do that to her Jay?"
"It was the only way to get Daisy to the party!" Gatsby answered hastily. "Her bringing along Buchanan was the only way to get Daisy there."
"You didn't even warn Rebecca!"
"What would I have warned her about?"
Nick looked at Gatsby angrily and shook his head, "You still don't get it. Rebecca is your wife. She told me she loved you Jay. Does that not mean anything to you? She's stood by you all these years and she's loved you. Through everything hurtful word and exclusion, everything. Now, you're tossing her aside like some doll that you had fun using. Hell, maybe you and Daisy deserve each other, but I promise you that she won't leave Tom. She won't do it. She cares too much about her money and the nice things in life to risk them over you. I'll be there when you tell Rebecca that you're leaving her. Jay, I won't be there for you. I'll be there for Rebecca. I'll be there to make sure that she can get to someone who can pick up the pieces."
