Disclaimer: The usual.
Chapter 24-Like Someone in Love
Legolas turned to walk back toward the Fellowship's pavilion and stopped abruptly when I did not move with him. "What is wrong?" he asked, faced with my anxious countenance.
"Is there somewhere else for us to eat?" I queried.
"You do not want to eat with our Company?" he returned.
"I just...do not want to answer any questions about us, not yet. And even if they did not ask, I still feel it would be uncomfortable because they would all be wondering about it." I fidgeted as he paused in thought. Then he smiled a quick but brilliant smile. "Come with me."
I quirked a brow but he just shook his head. He set a brisk pace and in about twenty minutes we reached the area around the Lord and Lady's tree. He led me to a tree not too far from theirs and began to ascend the stairs. We alighted on a platform, which served as the terrace for a talan. "Welcome to my family's humble abode," Legolas stated as he opened the front door, allowing me to pass in front of him.
"This is lovely," I breathed as I stepped into the main room. Off to the left was the kitchen, straight ahead was a staircase beyond which was a back patio. To the right there was another room which looked to be a study or library.
"Thank you, I am glad you like it," he replied as he moved into the kitchen. "I am afraid I do not have much in the way of foodstuffs. I only picked up a few items this afternoon. I have a few pieces of fruit, cheese and bread."
"That is fine," I called, still standing in front of the door. I moved to the sitting area running a hand over the sofa's light blue cushions. There was a thick navy blue rug on the floor which I intuitively knew must be like heaven for your feet, the kind of carpet you sink into. There were two more chairs with the same light blue cushions and all the furniture, including the coffee table and end tables, was carved out of a dark wood with intricate leaf patterns winding their way across the surface. The pillows were the same navy as the rug with embroidered designs out of silver thread. The curtains were a gauzy silver material and were blowing slightly in the breeze. I moved to stand in front of the window and gazed absentmindedly out of it. There was a light floral scent on the wind and I inhaled deeply. I was nervous. I mean only hours before I had been an emotional wreck. Could I help it if I thought this might be too good to be true?
"You are frowning," Legolas stated gently.
I jumped guiltily and turned to face him as he set a plate of food and a bottle of wine on the table. "I'm sorry…I just…it's been a long couple of days," I finished somewhat lamely.
"Then it is I who should be apologizing for I am the one to blame for your…"
"Anguish?" I supplied when he hesitated obviously unsure how to describe my state.
He grimaced. "I fooled myself into believing that your sentiments regarding my person were not so serious that you would suffer greatly-"
"Obviously you miscalculated," I snapped then winced. "Legolas, I am sorry. I did not mean to be cruel, I just-"
"Do not apologize," he interrupted gently. "Believe it or not, I am wise enough to know that you will still hold some anger and resentment towards me and I still feel guilty enough that I believe I deserve it. Please, insult me; absolve me from some of my guilt." He smiled at me teasingly and I relaxed a bit.
I shook my head. "I do not want to insult you." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "I love you," I continued quietly, unable to meet his gaze, "and I have no idea what the hell to do about it now."
I heard him sigh and come to stand in front of me. "Kate," he stated softly. "Kate, look at me." I glanced up at him and he smiled a gentle smile. "Why not eat first and then we can talk?"
I gave a sheepish smile and let him lead me to one of the sofas. He fetched two glasses from the kitchen and then opened the bottle of wine. He set a glass in front of me then sat opposite me. I ate in silence and it was not nearly as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. It dawned on me that he was still the same elf I fell in love with. I had just been exposed to his flaws for the first time really. I swallowed my last bite and smiled softly at him, having gained my confidence back somewhat I asked, "Where should we begin?"
"Allow me to start," he asked, and when I nodded he continued, "I realized while you were eating that up to this moment, you have stated that you loved me, twice," he grinned as I blushed, "and it is completely remiss of me to have not returned the sentiment. So I would like to take the time to state, unequivocally, that I love you." His tone was very serious now and his gaze held me captive. "My love for you is unlike any I have ever known. It terrifies me," he admitted with a rueful laugh and I could not help but smile. I felt the exact same way. "And when you told me you could leave, I panicked. I wanted to believe that I could live without you. I was wrong, I cannot and more importantly I do not want to live without you. I know that it will take time for you to fully trust me once again but you should know that there is nothing I want more. I love you and will do whatever it takes to keep you by my side. I realize that this might seem overly maudlin and therefore insincere given the short amount of time we have been reconciled, but I assure you I never stopped loving you and when I realized my folly I considered what I would want to tell you should I be granted the chance. My mind has been occupied by nothing else. Kate?"
Throughout his whole speech I had been struggling to keep my tears at bay. I sniffled and much to my horror, sobbed. "I'm sorry," I managed to choke out while trying to stifle my sobs. "I'm just happy," I bawled, nearly laughing at his shocked expression.
"Well, that is alright then," he stated as he appeared at my side with a handkerchief. Kneeling in front of me, he blotted at my tears as I tried to get control of my amplified emotions. I failed and he took a seat next to me and pulled me into his arms and just rubbed my back soothingly.
When I managed to get my emotions under control, I pulled away. "I'm sorry," I stated automatically.
He just arched an eyebrow. "There is no need for you to apologize, you know this."
"Right," I said hesitantly, back to feeling awkward and kind of anxious. I glanced around the room as he gazed at me speculatively.
"Would you care to go for a walk?" he asked finally breaking the silence and I acquiesced immediately.
We left his talan and began meandering through Lórien. Our walk was filled with pregnant silences and awkward spurts of conversation. So much so that I could not help but chuckle during one of our silences when it occurred to me how nervous we both must be.
"What is so amusing, milady, if you do not mind me asking?" Legolas queried.
"Our demeanors; the tension is palpable as I am sure you have noticed."
He matched my wry smile. "I had hoped I was not so obvious."
"Honestly I am rather relieved we are so out of sorts," I confessed as he glanced at me surprised. "To me it seems that if we just tried to pick up where we left off we would be ignoring what happened. As I said before, we cannot go back but we can go forward. And obviously our anxiety is proof of how much we want this to move forward." I paused. "Did that make sense?"
He tilted his head, a smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. "Mostly, as is the norm during our conversations," he teased. "Perhaps one day I will completely understand your expressions and way of speaking. I hope it will not change overly much should you decide to stay."
"How ironic, I was just thinking that it would hopefully become more formalized, like yours. I do not want to stick out like a sore thumb."
"I am afraid, my dear, that you already do." I returned his smile and we both slipped into silence. His earlier comment about my deciding to stay had me contemplating whether or not to tell him I was already leaning towards doing so. However I did not want to get his hopes up. There was still a chance I would return to my home. I was about to throw caution to the wind and ask him if he would prefer a play by play of my decision-making process or be excluded until I had made my decision when I felt someone grab my arm and start pulling me away.
"Hey!" I cried, before I noticed it was Almira. "Almira, what the hell are you doing?" I asked as she had not let go of my arm and was walking briskly away from Legolas, who had stopped in shock.
"I am sorry Legolas," she called over her shoulder, completely ignoring me. "But I need to borrow Kate on matters of important business."
"We don't have matters of important business. We're nobodies!" I cried.
"Now we do," she explained giving me a pointed look. I half-turned, and gave Legolas an apologetic glance accompanied by a helpless shrug of my shoulders.
He gave a mock bow. "Until tomorrow then," Legolas called before turning and walking back the way we had come.
"Almira, slow down," I pleaded exasperated. "For the love of all that's holy would you clue me in as to what's going on here?"
"Ok," she stated and I stumbled slightly as she stopped abruptly. She looked around conspicuously. There were a few elves around but no one we knew. Satisfied she motioned me closer and whispered, "You know Nimmir?"
"Unfortunately," I responded and she shushed me. I quirked an eyebrow, more intrigued than annoyed.
"Please be quieter," she stated, "This is so embarrassing," she finished, talking more to herself than to me.
I waited patiently and after only a few moments more she continued. "I do not know how but Nimmir managed to get close enough to Rúmil to mention the tiny fact that I was, well, am a Mary Sue."
I winced. Rúmil was renowned for his dislike of such females and his ability to avoid them mostly. "And now he won't even talk to me," she cried, obviously frustrated. "I tried to explain I've turned over a new leaf but he just thinks I am more devious than the rest and am using my supposed makeover to trick him into falling for me."
"Well at least he thinks you're intelligent," I jested but she just glared so I subsided. "Are you sure that's how he feels? Maybe he was just caught off-guard…" I trailed off because she was shaking her head vehemently.
"I wish," she stated, giving me an annoyed look which I knew was not really directed at me. "Those were his words, just paraphrased and updated."
"Ouch," I said and she snorted in agreement.
"This just sucks. The first nice guy I ever really get to hang out with, poof, gone and just because that selfish, jealous ho bag had to interfere. Is this proof that karma does exist? Is this some sort of cosmic payback for my behavior with you? Hmmm?"
I listened quietly as she ranted and when she finished I stated, "Look, we know Rúmil does not like Nimmir at all. And up until a little while ago he seemed to at least be interested in getting to know you. I say we give him a little time to cool off and in a couple of days you can approach him and at least ask for the chance to tell him your side of the story. If that doesn't work then we'll figure something else out."
She nodded and gave a frustrated sigh. "I'm so pissed I could just hurt someone."
"Remember I'm your friend," I stated, holding my hands out in a gesture of peace. Almira rolled her eyes, but I could see a slight smile hovering about her mouth. "What say we practice our martial skills? You can unleash some of that pent up aggression healthily."
"I'd appreciate it," she stated ruefully and we began walking towards Malthenwen's talan only getting turned around once.
"I'm sorry I interrupted you and Legolas' walk. I take it you two are back together?" she asked as we entered the empty talan.
"Pretty much," I stated and she let it go at that seemingly sensing I would be more forthcoming when I had more time to digest everything that had happened. We changed and made our way to the training area which was basically deserted. However, oddly enough it was still bright enough to practice. There were big torches surrounding the perimeter, almost like tiki torches, only bigger and more attractive.
"Remember, feet shoulder-width apart," I told Almira. She nodded and adjusted her stance. I went to collect my arrows. We had only been practicing for roughly ten minutes and I was already having trouble concentrating. I gave a frustrated sigh and then I heard an odd twang. Seconds later I yelped as I felt something slice my arm. I whipped around to see Almira staring at me in horror, both hands covering her mouth. I grimaced and pulled Almira's arrow out of the target and walked towards her. "Oh Kate, I am so sorry," she gushed as I reached her.
"I thought you were supposed to be dealing with your aggression healthily?" I asked teasingly, or tried anyway. The cut on my arm was beginning to throb. "What happened?" I asked more softly, noticing she looked on the verge of tears.
"Well, I noticed someone approaching out of the corner of my eye and when I realized it was Rúmil I jumped and well…accidentally released my arrow. I really am sorry. I feel like such a moron," she stated, voice quavering.
"It's not that bad," I stated, lying just a bit. Everyone knows white lies don't count. "It barely even hurts."
"Come on, let's go back to Malthenwen's and take care of it. Let me carry your stuff." We walked briskly and when we reached the top of the stairs we heard voices inside the talan.
"Great, people," I muttered.
"Aren't we just a social butterfly?" Almira teased as she opened the door. The minute I entered Eruanna gasped and that had the entire room's occupants looking at me, one of whom happened to be Legolas.
"What happened to you?" he asked brusquely, coming to examine my arm.
"Nothing, I'm fine," I stated curtly trying to pull my arm away.
"Why do you always say that when you are bleeding? You are obviously not fine," he said exasperatedly. He began gently pulling me towards my room, one arm firmly around my waist so I could not escape. He led me over to the basin and instructed me to remove my outer tunic as Malthenwen entered and handed him some bandages and a mysterious ointment I was extremely suspicious of. He poured some water into the basin as I rolled up my sleeve.
"Really, I'm fine," I repeated, trying to ignore the throbbing in my arm.
"You are lying," he stated and began to gently cleanse the wound with a cloth. I hissed. I could not help it. "Absolutely fine, are you?" he queried, looking a bit smug. I just huffed and rolled my eyes. "How did this happen?" he asked in a gentler tone. "I cannot believe someone would attack you."
"No, no, it was nothing so sinister," I reassured him and he seemed to relax ever so slightly. "Actually, Almira did it."
He jerked and I bit back a cry as it caused him to jolt my injured arm. "I am sorry, my love," he stated ruefully, pressing a quick kiss to my forehead. "Let me hazard a guess," he said. "Somehow she misfired an arrow and you happened to be in harm's way?"
"How did you…?"
"I have seen it happen before, it even happened to me once. I instruct elfings in archery when I am able, and needless to say I have ended up in harm's way," he explained as he bound my arm although I was not really listening. His soft touch on my skin was wreaking havoc with my mind and body. I swallowed convulsively.
Legolas seemed to have noticed I had gone quiet. "Is something amiss?" he asked. I met his gaze and at his inscrutable look decided why not? Stepping close to him, I slid my good arm up his back and into his hair while pressing my mouth, and body, to his. I felt him jump slightly in shock before instinct took over. He caught me tightly to him and parted my lips.
"I thought it was a bit too quiet in here," Glorfindel's amused voice said from the door, causing us to jump apart almost guiltily.
"Damn it, Glorfindel!" I swore, staring at him angrily with both hands on my hips. "Was that really necessary?"
"Indeed," he stated smirking. "As your chaperone it is my duty to guard your virtue."
"Oh for Christ's sake," I stated exasperatedly. "You cannot be serious."
"He's not, at least not entirely," Eruanna said as she entered the room, shooting her unrepentant husband a withering glance. "However, restrictions placed on couples, their interactions, and courtship rituals in general are much stricter here than in America. As you may have noticed dating does not exist here. And you can forget about pre-marital sex." I saw Legolas' eyes widen out of the corner of my eye and a slight flush suffuse his countenance.
"I always forget how antiquated some of their customs are," I muttered as I headed towards the wardrobe, pulling out a fresh tunic Malthenwen had lent me. It was a deep shade of violet that seemed to suit me. I turned around after pulling the tunic on and tilted my head to the side as I took in Legolas' expression. "What is it?" I asked mildly concerned. "You look discomfited."
"I just cannot believe…," Legolas paused and seemed to decide on a different course. "Exactly how different are your customs concerning male and female relationships?"
"Uh, well," I began, rubbing the back of my neck.
"Time to go," Eruanna stated, pushing her husband out the door. "Good luck," she said to me as she shut the door.
I looked at Legolas and blew out a big breath. "Relationships are very, very different where I'm from. Why don't we sit down?"
I took a seat on the bed and he followed suit. "Where I am from people generally start dating around the age of fifteen or sixteen." I held up a hand forestalling his comment. "I know that seems young but remember we're human. At eighteen we are technically considered adults."
"What is this dating?" he asked, willing to let the age issue go.
"Dating is engaging in a social activity with someone of the opposite sex, often out of romantic interest. So the man usually asks the woman out and they go do something together. The most common dates are either dinner and a movie, or just grabbing a cup of coffee and talking."
He gave me a measured look. "Have you been on one of these dates?"
I resisted the impulse to squirm. "Yes, several actually." He accepted this with a nod but he did not look too pleased. I smiled inwardly as I knew it was only because he had a jealous nature.
"How long do men and women date before they are betrothed?"
"Well, this is where it gets a bit complicated. Just because you are dating someone does not mean you are interested in marrying them or even pursuing a serious relationship with them. It is not like courting at all. Unless both parties expressly state they only are interested in dating one another they are generally free to go out with other people," I explained.
"You mean to say that if you and I were dating, you could date other men?" He asked, looking shocked.
"Yes, if we both agreed we were not willing to get serious or we only went out a couple times. There is nothing binding about going on a date with a person. The point of dating a person is to discover whether or not you want to pursue something more serious. If people develop deeper feelings for each other they generally commit and apply the title of boyfriend or girlfriend to their partner. When that happens it is pretty clear they are only interested in being with each other."
"What would people consider us?"
"We would be a couple, boyfriend and girlfriend," I answered and was relieved to see him smile slightly.
"You never answered when a couple becomes betrothed?" he pointed out.
"It honestly depends on the couple; some become engaged after only months others do so years later."
"Do they not need the permission or approval of their families?" He asked, looking genuinely surprised.
"No," I stated bluntly. "Couples in my world become engaged, not betrothed. It technically is not as formal as there are no rules or rituals except the exchanging of rings. A man might ask permission of a woman's father out of courtesy and a desire to respect tradition. But it is no longer required."
"This is all rather unsettling," Legolas said with a sigh, leaning forward placing his elbows on his knees and looking at the floor.
I gave a self-conscious laugh. If he thought that was unsettling imagine his reaction to sex? I sent a silent prayer heavenwards that he seemed to forget Eruanna mentioned pre-marital sex.
After a moment he looked at me and opened his mouth as if to ask something and then promptly shut it. "What is it?" I asked, hearing the chiming of warning bells in my mind.
"Eruanna mentioned pre-marital sex. Is this common?" he queried looking me dead in the eye, seemingly having gathered his courage.
Once again Lady Luck had abandoned me, what a slut. "In America, yes," I stated. He looked extremely uncomfortable. "For the record, I have never…" I trailed off hoping he got the picture.
Legolas heaved a relieved sigh and gave me a sheepish smile. "I am glad. I would hate to find out I was involved with a married woman."
"Right, because if elves…you know… (he smiled as I blushed) then they are married?" He nodded in affirmation and I tilted my head giving him a speculative look. "I know your customs are more formal, but do unattached elves tryst?"
His eyebrows shot up about to his hair line and he stared at me blankly for just a second before giving a rueful laugh. "Indeed, though it is not exactly sanctioned. Everyone knows it occurs, but no one talks about it openly."
"Have we done what would be considered trysting?"
"No," he said far too quickly.
I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "What exactly is a tryst here?"
He shifted uncomfortably and dropped his gaze to his hands. I smiled impishly as I realized how reserved he was compared to me. I smiled wider as it occurred to me how awkward the inevitable conversation about the birds and the bees must be for parents and their children here. It was bad enough in my world and sex was a much more casual issue.
"A tryst is a secret meeting, generally between lovers. And while they may not mate, they, uh…" I could tell he was struggling and so decided to take pity on him, sort of.
"Grope and fondle one another?" I supplied and I burst out laughing at the floored look on his face when his gaze whipped to mine.
"You are enjoying my discomfiture are you not?" he queried dryly.
Wiping the tears from my eyes, I stated, "Only a little and only because I find it amazingly attractive."
"Is that so?" he stated smugly, leaning in closer.
"Not so fast. Have you had a tryst?" I asked evenly.
He flushed but answered quietly. "Yes, several." I nodded my head, not exactly pleased but not exactly put out. "Kate, I-"
I cupped his face pressing my thumb to his lips. "You do not have to explain," I stated softly. "It does not upset me. You are much older than I am and I would not expect you to have spent your life up to now completely alone. You had every right to engage the opposite sex, just as I did. I will admit to a little jealousy but that is only natural."
He smiled gently then and captured my lips in a chaste kiss. As we pulled apart someone knocked at my door. "If it's Glorfindel…" I growled and Legolas let out a low laugh as I answered the door.
"Come in," I said to Almira. "What's up?"
"I just wanted to see how your arm was," she asked, eyeing Legolas nervously as if he was going to jump her but he just smiled at her kindly.
"It's fine. Really it is."
She heaved a sigh. "Good. I just feel so guilty."
"Don't. I know you would not purposefully shoot me, at least not nowadays." She rolled her eyes and then surprised me by hugging me tightly.
"You ok?" I whispered.
"Yeah," she stated pulling away from me. "Yes." And then she walked out the door, leaving me staring after her.
"She is a very poor liar," Legolas said after a moment.
"I know," I sighed.
He raised an eyebrow. "Would you care to explain why she feels the need to lie?"
"Not really. Anyway, it's not my place."
He nodded resignedly before smiling at me. "Would you care to go for another walk?"
"Now that I can do," I replied. I grabbed my cloak and we headed out the door.
