Part XIX: Young & Beautiful (Part II)

"...Will you still love me
When I'm no longer young and beautiful?
Will you still love me
When I got nothing but my aching soul?
I know you will, I know you will
I know that you will
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful..."

~ "Young & Beautiful" - Lana Del Rey

September 15, 1924

Rebecca took a deep breath and closed her eyes. The jolting of the car wasn't helping the nausea she was feeling, but she wasn't going to let Gatsby know. She wasn't sure how she was going to tell him her news, but she wasn't in any rush to do so. She wasn't quite sure when it happened, but sometime in May, their lives had been changed. A smile crept to her face as she reflected over the summer. It had been so nice to be tucked away from the city.

Spending time with Jay had been unlike anything she'd ever imagined. They'd easily fallen into a routine when spring had come. Business and household matters were dealt with for a few hours after breakfast and the afternoons belonged to them. Jay had given her control of the household accounts and Rebecca had found herself quickly redecorating the house to her tastes. Much of the decor that had been in place stayed and she matched the new pieces to the remaining French influence. The house reminded her of a quaint country house in the peaceful, quiet French countryside.

While they'd spent plenty of the rainy afternoons that had come in April inside, the rest of the months had been spent outside. Nearly a half mile from the house, a small lake resided on the property. Really not much larger than a pond, the small lake was surrounded by shady trees that went around the lake in a 'u' shape before opening into a beautiful field of wild flowers. They often had the housekeeper pack them a picnic basket for lunch before Jay drove them out to the lake in his yellow custom car.

A giant oak tree was situated near the lake and it was often where they sat on a quilt and ate. One afternoon, Rebecca had been shocked when Gatsby had simply taken his clothes off and had dived into the water after a late lunch. He'd surfaced with a smile and had encouraged her to join him. He'd teased her and cajoled her until she'd admitted that she'd never learned how to swim. Despite the humid day, she'd prefer to stay on dry land. He hadn't taken her 'no' for an answer and he'd taught her to swim that afternoon. Under the warm sun of that early May afternoon, she'd floated on the surface of the water. There had been something so calming and so peaceful about floating. The world had seemed to simply fade away when she closed her eyes.

Afterwards, she'd lain on the quilt in the partial sun and had dried out with him. It had only taken a single kiss from Gatsby ignite the passion that they'd both feeling from the moment she'd let him teach her to float. There had been no one around and the yellow car had blocked anyone's line of sight. With just one kiss, neither one of them had been able to stop that afternoon. Under that aging oak tree, Rebecca was sure that had been the afternoon that had forever changed them as they'd made love together. Pulling herself out of her thoughts, she frowned as they passed by West Egg. Gatsby had said he'd had a surprise for her, but she wasn't sure what it was. Turning to look at him, she watched as he read a letter from Nick. Something had stained their relationship and she'd asked what had happened. Deep down, Rebecca knew that Gatsby liked Nick too much to push him away completely. She smiled seeing his lips move as he read the words on the page. She'd learned all Gatsby's mannerisms in just a few short months that it surprised her and in some ways, it didn't.

She'd always loved Jay.

There was no denying that she'd always loved him, but there was a difference between loving someone and trusting that love and that person. Trust had been the biggest thing that they had both been missing from each other. Trust had been the one thing that they had needed to build between them and Gatsby's admission that he'd willing let her leave him if it meant she'd be happy had been the first step in building that trust. The moment he'd said the words, Rebecca knew that he was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She'd always love him for saying what he'd said, because it had been just what she needed to hear. To Jay, she wasn't undesirable or broken. There was nothing wrong with her and he loved her just the way she was. He loved her even when she had violent tantrums that rivaled a child's. He simply laughed, kissed her cheek and told her that as long as she didn't hurt one of the maids, she was free to destroy whatever she liked. It had angered her when he'd said those words, but Rebecca knew that he'd been teasing her unmercifully.

Feeling his hand touch hers, Rebecca looked down to his fingers wrap around hers. Turning to look back out the window, she watched the greenery pass them by as they traveled down the road. She could still feel the warm, soft caress of Gatsby lips on her skin as he'd made love to her that May afternoon. Heat still built inside her as she thought about each touch they'd shared. That afternoon had triggered something between them and it had seemed like never could they have enough of each other. The whole summer had slipped by them as they'd made love wherever and whenever they could. Exploring each other had taken time and Rebecca was sure there was nothing in the world more precious to her than those memories of their first real summer together. She could only hope that they would go back to Fairview Park next year. The place had become their refuge and it had taken all her courage not to cry when they'd left the house earlier in the day.

"We'll go back next summer for a few weeks," Gatsby said out loud as if he'd been reading her thoughts. "I promise."

She nodded and didn't doubt his words. Rebecca had learned quickly that when Jay promised something, he meant it. His promises were something she'd never have to worry about. He meant them and she knew he'd never let her down. Every single promise he'd made to her had been right.

Ares Patrick could never hurt her again and when he'd promised things would get better for her, he hadn't lied. She could only hope that her darkest times were behind her. The thought of Elizabeth and Mary still brought sadness to her heart, but Rebecca knew that they'd want her to move on from grieving them and live her life to the fullest. They'd want her to be happy with Jay, make peace with Nick, and forgive him for bring Daisy back.

She didn't know if Daisy was still living at Harper House and Gatsby hadn't told her if he knew what was happening. In reality, Rebecca didn't want to know if Daisy was there. The car pulled down a road and Rebecca watched with intrigue as they came to a gated drive. Now in East Egg, she looked around as them as the car passed slowly through the gated front. Immaculate green lawns and beautiful trees passed her gaze as they drove up the path. Looking to Gatsby, she smiled seeing his grin. She knew that he was up to something.

"What did you do?" she asked as Gatsby leaned forward and said something to the driver. Just as they turned the corner, the treeline broke and the most breathtaking house that Rebecca had ever seen came into view. There were at least forty glittering windows that shined in the afternoon light. Her feet seemed to move at their own accord and she found herself exiting the stopped Rolls Royce. Standing in the shade of the trees at seemed to form an almost archway over the drive, Rebecca stared at the beautiful house.

"Do you like it?" Gatsby asked her with smile as he stepped out of the car as well. Slowly, Brighton pulled away from them and continued up the drive. Rebecca knew that it wasn't custom to walk to the house, but she wanted to see everything.

"It's beautiful," she gushed as she took out her small lace parasol and opened it. "I don't think I've seen a more beautiful house…excepting Fairview Park, of course. Are we visiting a business client of yours? They must think me so rude for getting out and walking to their front door."

Gatsby laughed as he offered his arm. Tucking her hand into the crook of his elbow, Rebecca looked at him anxiously before relaxing. Seeing Gatsby's smile calmed her as he began leading her up one of the smooth, brick paths.

"No, we're not visiting a client," he told her. "I sold Gatsby Manor in West Egg."

His words surprised her as they walked along the flower lined path. They were starting to enter what seemed like the front gardens and passing through an archway, a magnificent fountain greeted her sight as they reached the circle drive that was outside the front of the house. The Rolls Royce was parked out front and Gatsby guided her towards the steps. Crawley was already standing at attention with the staff inside already to greet their mistress.

The large limestone steps lead up to the house and inside, the most beautiful entry hall Rebecca had ever seen greeted her eyes. High arching ceilings above them and a stunning grand staircase, the hall was massive and her heels clicked against the white and black marble floors creating an echo. The staff was quickly introduced again to her and Rebecca remembered old, familiar faces, but she also saw a few new ones mixed in. Pressed, she couldn't remember anyone's name.

She was simply overwhelmed by the house and quickly, Gatsby began giving her the grand tour. The main floor contained a library, study, drawing room, a beautiful grand ballroom, a music room, dining room. One of the features that Rebecca loved the most was the four different parlors that could be used based on the season. The summer parlor was situated in the back and was a beautiful room. Surrounded by French glass doors, the sheer white valences fluttered in the window as she opened one of the doors that led outside. A massive stone porch wrapped around the back of the house and steps led down to a second and third level. Chairs were set about and from the view of the gardens, Rebecca paused before turning to Gatsby. Handsome, he was leaning against the door way of the parlor with a smile on his face.

"This looks familiar," she told him. "Like I've been here before."

"You have," he replied. "You designed it."

"No," Rebecca said in disbelief as the pieces came together in her head. "You had me sit down with that man and design gardens. How long have you been planning this?"

Looking out to the bay, Rebecca closed her eyes feeling his arms slip around her. She felt safe and secure in his arms as he kissed her neck and caressed her skin.

"I've been planning this for a while," he murmured softly. "Since sometime last year and I wanted everything just perfect for you."

Seeing the beautiful garden still in bloom and the dock on the bay past the sweeping lawn, Rebecca couldn't the joy that she felt inside.

"A house? You got a new house?"

Turning her towards him, Rebecca felt him tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear as he smiled at her.

"Your house," he whispered softly. "Your house to decorate as you choose. No expenses will be spared and all you have to do is tell me exactly what you want and I'll do my best to procure it from anywhere."

Laughter bubbled from her lips as she threw her arms around him, "I love you, you dear, sweet man. You didn't have to do this, but thank you."

"I wanted to," he told her after her laughter had died down a few moments later. "You deserve a beautiful house that is all your own and I never want you to feel—"

She cut him off with a kiss and Rebecca couldn't stop herself. They both fell easily into the kiss and it ended far too soon for her liking.

"I take it that you love the house," Gatsby murmured, his eyes still closed.

"I adore it," Rebecca whispered to him, never letting him out of her embrace. "Just like I adore you. I think it's perfect. I've never seen such a beautiful house and I've only seen a few rooms. You haven't even shown me the bedrooms upstairs."

A wicked grin came to Gatsby lips as he opened his eyes, "You do know that we will have to fill this house with the pitter-patter of feet. It's too large for just us to live here by ourselves."

With a knowing smile, Rebecca knew that after dinner she'd tell him. She'd finally tell Jay that by next summer, they'd have the start of the family they'd both been dreamed of having someday.