The elevator was occupied on the way down so we didn't have time to talk. It seemed like we didn't get a chance to talk about what had happened the whole day but we actually had a surprisingly good time, things weren't too awkward and we tried to keep up the charade as best we could considering we were still being followed but it wasn't too hard. A few kisses here or there and just being overly affectionate as we had the previous days but Steve was definitely more at ease with everything. When it started to get late we returned to the room, we walked through the hotel lobby happily and when we got into the elevator I slipped my arms around his neck and Steve kissed me passionately, we didn't stop when the doors closed but I had to pull away.
"Look Steve about last night," I began wanting to sort things out but then the elevator stopped and a young guy who must have been delivering room service got on and looked me up and down, checking me out. I looked over at Steve who unfortunately for the guy hadn't missed anything and put his arm protectively around my shoulders and the guy got the message loud and clear from Steve who was a head taller and he quickly averted his eyes which brought a hint of a smile to my face. We continued in awkward silence for a few more moments before the doors opened and Steve and I got out leaving the guy with a blush on his face from being caught. We walked down the hall hand in hand and when Steve opened the door we went inside and began to get ready.
Steve turned to me as we were getting dressed and I fixed his collar for him and he zipped up my dress I went and touched up my make up before coming back out and pulling on my shoes. Once I was finished Steve looked at me and his breath caught in his throat he dragged his eyes from my body and looked me in the eye before saying,
"You look stunning Nat." and I knew he meant it.
"You don't so bad yourself," I said putting my arms around his neck and pressing my lips to him but before I could break the kiss his hands went around my waist and he kissed me lovingly. I pulled away from him silently and looked him straight in the eye and saw something that I had never seen from anyone before, love. And as soon as I realised what it was I pulled away, "Are you ready? I think its time we should go," and from the looks of things Steve didn't think anything was out of the ordinary and grabbed his things before we headed to the door and he pulled it shut behind us.
Once in the club with the music blaring we surveyed the people. Most were young and all dancing, there were a few men that had come after a long day at work and were looking for some company that wouldn't mind the wedding rings on their fingers, there were the locals and the tourists but in amongst it all Steve and I spotted at least four men that were sent by the people we were meeting. One spotted us and lifted his hand to his ear and spoke, alerting the others of our arrival. So as not to stand out I pulled Steve by the hand onto the dance floor and we began to dance like those around us, me doing most of the work as Steve wasn't used to the music or how to dance. At first he wasn't sure how to react and tried to keep up but I knew he was struggling so I took his hands and put them on my hips and turned so I had my back to him so that I could see the door and we swayed to the music, our hips as close as possible. Steve was still blushing furiously which made me smile but then I caught myself and went back to faking. As the music began to change I turned and put my hands around his neck and he rested his forehead on mine but we still kept up with the fast beat of the club music. We stayed like that for and after a while the music seemed to drown out and even though we were still surrounded by people all jumping and swaying to the music we seemed to forget about them. I opened my eyes at that moment into Steve's deep blue ones that were again full of love and this time instead of running away from it and from him I put my hand around the back of his warm neck and pulled his lips down to mine. And in that moment I experienced something I had never experienced, and even though we were on a mission and could be killed at any moment, I felt peace. For once in my life I felt at peace with myself and…whole. Nothing and everything mattered; I was in tune with myself and lost to myself at the same time. I could feel everything around me but it all seemed numb except or Steve's lips on him and his hands on my body keeping me grounded. It was at that moment Steve was tapped on the shoulder and the moment shattered. We broke apart and he turned to see who had interrupted us and I caught myself. I sorted through what had happened and realised that I had let myself feel something and had lost my bearings on the situation. I had lost myself to Steve in a way that I had never given myself to anyone ever and I knew that it could never happen again and I could never allow myself to feel that way ever again and I stepped away from Steve distancing myself from him in more ways than one. When Steve turned round again he was back in his alias and I was back in mine and I felt claustrophobic and I could have kicked myself. Spies shed identities like a person sheds clothes I had gotten too comfortable but for once it wasn't as some diplomat's wife or arms dealer it was as Natasha Romanoff and that scared and infuriated me. I didn't feel things, I was a high functioning spy that felt for no one, feelings get you killed. And so when Steve turned around he was greeted with nothing but he didn't seem to notice,
"Santiago has arrived and is waiting for us at a table in the North West corner, he has three bodyguards and four men stationed around the club that came earlier to watch us so he knows how we operate, we need to approach with extreme caution if anything happens you are to leave via the kitchen and out the door into the alley behind the club," said Steve in pure tactical mode, I nodded and he remembered our cover and put his arm around my shoulders before we departed from the dance floor.
