Disclaimer: Will you be mine? Yes, no, maybe so? Okay, well just get back to me. Until then you know the drill.

Chapter 34- Be a Man

Any minute now my arms are going to fall off, I thought. We had been hacking and slashing our way forward for an hour already and there was no end in sight. After jumping off the boat we had rushed the enemy in a pretty epic charge. Given the hunks we were traveling with, Almira and I looked pretty fly. Aragorn was off faster than a speeding bullet. This association made me realize I really did consider him Superman, albeit the Middle Earth model. Legolas stayed close to me, and Gimli to him. After all, they needed to be able to shout their stats back and forth to one another. Almira was stabbing people left and right. Oddly enough, now that she had some semblance of what to do she was having a real field day.

"Hold on there, Wonder Woman," I called to Almira as she had started to get separated from me. She cast a sheepish look my way before dispatching the latest orc to confront her and beginning to head back towards me. Since the last time I had been separated from everyone I got stabbed I was not eager to place myself in a similar situation.

Slowly but surely our Company was making its way towards where Eomer was wheeling around on his horse like a madman. Suddenly the ground began vibrating violently.

"What in the world...?" Almira asked. Then the elephants on steroids came into view. "Oh right, oliphaunts. How could I forget?"

"Good god, this is a messed up country," I muttered. I barely managed to kill orcs, let alone a cave troll. How on earth was I supposed to manage this gargantuan beastie?

Hardly had I completed this thought when Legolas made a beeline for it. "Hellfire and damnation!" I cried. "Is he trying to kill me?" I continued irately to no one in particular.

I dodged an orc and sprinted after him. But it was no use. He was long gone, damn his long, shapely legs. I caught a glimpse of him climbing his way up the side of an oliphaunt before I was distracted by some deranged creature, possibly a goblin, trying to kill me. An unexpected thud made my enemy and I turn and stare. There was my boyfriend standing next to a dead oliphaunt and a pile of bodies. I heard Gimli cry, "That still only counts as one!" Both I and my possibly goblin enemy shrugged and went back to fighting. Unfortunately, the bastard was extremely strong. Our swords locked and slid down to the hilt. It snarled then shoved me. I lost my balance and fell. However, I feinted that I was more disoriented that I really was, even dropping my sword. Overcompensating for what would have been a rather dramatic stab through the heart, it looked genuinely surprised when I scissor-kicked his legs out from under him then stabbed him through the heart after quickly grabbing a dagger from my boot. Standing quickly I picked up my sword and moved on. I ended up finding Almira, who had fallen in with a group of soldiers from Dol Amroth who I recognized by the white ship upon their raiment. Upon seeing me, one of the soldiers cried in complete shock, "Milady, what are you doing here?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I retorted sarcastically. I did not have time for a discussion on gender roles.

"You should not be here," he stated authoritatively.

"Seeing as I have killed three orcs in the time it took you to kill one, I care to disagree," I replied smoothly.

That seemed to shut him up as he stayed silent from then on, although I could see him casting occasional glances my way. An orc scored a lucky slice across my upper arm. Snarling, I stabbed him through the eye and effectively wiped the grin off his face. "Dammit," I said. And Almira gave me a quizzical look. "This was my new favorite top," I said by way of explanation and Almira shook her head, a rueful smile on her lips. Attack, block, kick, elbow, swipe, slice. Lather, rinse, repeat. Our little group had gotten into a groove and we were a force to be reckoned with, if I do say so myself. However, I could feel myself weakening. I hadn't exactly started this fight at a hundred percent. My thigh was cramping something fierce, and I had a lot of little bruises and cuts that were beginning to scream.

Finally, the battle began to wind down. The sun had sunk behind Mindolluin and the landscape was tinged red. Rather fitting, I thought. The last person I engaged was a wild-eyed man, unwashed and ferocious. He was desperate, and it was obvious in his movements. He was not overly skilled but he had nothing to lose. It was clear at this point who would be the victor on the field. I saw my opening and took it. I stabbed a dagger in-between his ribs and slid it around to the front of his chest, slicing through his internal organs. Blood spilled over my hands as I watched the light fade from his eyes; eyes that were not so different from my own. I blinked and realized as shock stole through me it was my first human kill. How I had avoided harming a human to this point was beyond me. But shock was quickly replaced with joy and relief when I looked around and there were no more combatants rushing towards me. My emotions and thoughts at the moment were extremely elemental. Looking around I saw bodies littered the ground, soaking the earth with blood which dampened my joy at being done with battle.

The soldier from earlier sidled up next to me. I looked at him askance out of the corner of my eye. "You are quite skilled, milady. It was an honor to fight beside you. Forgive my earlier words?" He gave me a sheepish yet charming smile.

I smiled, relaxing. "Of course, it's not entirely your fault you're a sexist idiot. You were programmed that way from youth."

He laughed and shook the hand I had hastily wiped on my tunic. "Amrothos," he stated as an introduction.

"Kate, your majesty," I replied with a slightly cheeky grin and a sketchy bow.

Amrothos laughed loudly. "You are well-informed for a stranger."

The prince of Dol Amroth was quite attractive, especially when smiling. "Indeed," a smooth voice interrupted. Of course, then there was absolutely stunning. "Making friends, are we?" Legolas asked coolly, eyeing Amrothos intently.

"Your mate, I take it?" Amrothos asked of me amusedly.

"Not yet," Legolas asserted before I could get a word in edgewise.

"Not very subtle, is he?" Gimli commented dryly.

"Understatement of the year," Almira amended, coming to lean on her sword.

"While your lady is valiant and beautiful," and here Amrothos paused to drop a wink in my direction, "I already have a love of my own." Legolas was instantly more cheerful and I rolled my eyes, our antics causing Amrothos to laugh.

Another soldier from Dol Amroth hailed their prince. "Until later," Amrothos said with a short bow before heading away from us.

Instantly I was under intense scrutiny from Legolas. "Would you stop poking and prodding me? I'm-"

"Fine," Legolas finished my sentence for me. "I know, I know." He dropped his hands to his side.

"Did I pass inspection?" I asked sarcastically placing my hands on my hips.

"Just barely," he replied then laughed at my outraged expression before planting a kiss on my lips.

An anguished cry interrupted our mirth. We turned to see Eomer kneeling on the ground cradling a prone figure I knew to be Eowyn. "Is that...?" Legolas turned to me with a bewildered expression.

I nodded, my eyes still on the pair. "Yes. It is Eowyn," I stated for the benefit of Gimli who did not have Elven sight.

"How did she get here?" Gimli asked dismayed.

"She disguised herself as a man and rode here with the King, which reminds me..." I looked around for Merry but had no luck spotting the hobbit.

"Who are you looking for?" Legolas asked, looking around as well.

"You'll see," I said.

"I hate when you say that."

"Poor baby," I cooed obnoxiously causing Legolas to roll his eyes.

"Come on," he said. "There is much we have to do."

The next several hours were spent searching for any warriors that were still alive, stabilizing the wounded, preparing the dead and burning the bodies of our enemies. So it was not until early evening that we entered the city. I was numb on the inside from having stared into so many pairs of lifeless eyes, the feel of blood crusted under my nails which also stained my hands. Despite our victory, the atmosphere of Minas Tirith was one of muted joy. Bodies were still strewn across the streets and in hard to reach places where the Nazgul had dropped them. Buildings were smoldering, collapsing in on themselves. The scent of smoke, charred flesh, and blood still hung in the air. I felt dumb, letting it all wash over me yet somehow not really absorbing anything.

"The worst part is it's not even over yet," Almira whispered softly, limping by my side. She had a couple bruised ribs most likely and a pulled muscle in her leg.

"Don't remind me," I murmured lowly.

By the time we made it to the Healing Ward, the twins were already hard at work. Assumedly so was Aragorn, but he was probably slinking around in a cape doing his super kingly healing in disguise since he did not feel ready to really enter the city and claim his birthright. Who could blame him? We had just escaped a shitstorm and were headed right into Round Two.

"You look terrible," Elladan said in lieu of a greeting.

"That's no way to speak to the walking wounded," I replied in what I hoped was an easy tone. I noticed the glances the nurses were giving the twins and now Legolas. Not that I could blame the ladies, but I did not like it. So I decided to make it obvious just who I was to his highness. Sighing and sagging a little, I instantly had Legolas' attention. Now, my actions were not a complete fabrication because my leg was aching something fierce, but some exaggeration might have happened.

"My love," he murmured, a question in the inflection.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," I stated but leaned into him for effect. Legolas placed an arm around me automatically. Casting my eyes around the room, not one nurse met my gaze. I smirked. Noticing where my attention was, Legolas murmured, "Jealous, love?" and I could hear the satisfaction in his voice.

"Who me?" I feigned innocent, batting my eyes at him.

"A bit mercenary," Almira stated. "That's something I would have pulled out of my Sue bag of tricks."

"Not funny," I claimed in response to her implication. "It's not my fault he's gorgeous. I have to be at the top of my game."

"Actually," Legolas began matter-of-factly, "you have no cause for worry since you know I love you."

"I'm not worried about you. It's them I don't trust," I grumbled lowly.

Legolas tightened his hold and dropped a kiss in my hair. "As I can be rather jealous, I find I have little to say about your behavior."

"Apparently you are the king of this understatement today," Elrohir stated. "Now, you both look less than your best. Obviously Legolas will see to Kate. Almira you can come with me." Gimli got off easy since he was pretty much fine. He gave me a quick nod as he headed out the door into the sunshine.

"Damn Dwarves and their hardiness," I stated lowly to Legolas.

"Finally! Are they not infuriating?" he responded. I felt a smile snake its way across my face. Even with everything facing us, it was nice to just be a bit silly. I took a seat on a bed in a secluded corner while Legolas went to gather supplies. He returned quickly and set to work. Watching him while he was leaning over me, poking and prodding, I was alarmed when he suddenly smiled.

"The wound is healing nicely," Legolas explained, "all things considered," he added.

"Can the stitches come out?" I asked hopefully.

"Absolutely not," Legolas stated succinctly with a firm look. "It is a miracle you have not torn the stitches and reopened your wound. You were extremely lucky the blade had straight edges, was not poisoned and missed the artery. However, it is still a deep cut in muscle, which takes time to heal fully."

"More agonizing pain on the menu then?" I surmised grimly.

"Only if you insist on continuing to fight and move about instead of resting." Legolas gave me a pointed look.

"So that's a yes." I stated firmly, trying to ignore Legolas' deep sigh.

"I do not know what is coming but I can make a guess. Is the idea of waiting so terrible? Worse than knowing you would be going into battle injured, at a disadvantage?" Legolas asked with quiet intensity, his worry evident in his eyes.

"I know what is coming, and being part of it, even when I am not one hundred percent, is better and less terrible than losing my sanity waiting on the sidelines. Please, do not ask this of me. If we fail at what is coming...I cannot be parted from you, not now." I had taken his hands in mine and barely finished my sentence.

Legolas was giving me a hard, searching stare. I held his gaze until he seemed to find what he was looking for. "Alright," he said softly. "Alright. But now you rest."

"Deal," I agreed quickly. Legolas helped me up and we made our way out of the city. Aragorn had erected a large tent, much like what I imagined a desert sultan would have. Almira and I had our own cordoned off area. It was nice of him to acknowledge we were still female despite all the blood and guts we spilled. Almira was already passed out when I entered. Legolas drew me close for a minute and I imagined he needed as much comfort as I did.

"Rest," he said eventually then released me.

I sighed and laid on the bed, which was really a glorified cot. Fatigue had snuck up on me. Legolas leaned over to stroke my hair. I think he knew it helped send me to sleep, or he at least had a very strong suspicion. Sneaky bastard, was my last thought before sleep claimed me.

Suddenly, I found myself on the battlefield with the battle occurring around me in slow motion. Standing in front of me was the man I had killed. He was drenched in his own blood, staring at me, just staring. He took a step forward, one hand outstretched. I took an involuntary step backward. "No," I whispered. "No," I cried and repeated it with each step he took towards me.

And then I was blinking Legolas' face into focus. It was dark. I was disoriented. Legolas had his hands on my shoulders, murmuring soothing phrases to me. "What is the matter?" He crooned. "What has disturbed your slumber?"

"The man I killed," I choked out.

"Your first human kill," Legolas whispered as understanding dawned in his eyes.

"I have to- I have to get this off," I said whilst tugging frantically at my outermost tunic. His blood was still on it. I was too exhausted before to have thought about it.

Legolas grabbed my hands. He was saying something but I was not listening because all I could focus on was the dried blood under my nails his action had brought attention to. "Oh god," I breathed and shoved past him to the washstand in the corner. I poured water into the basin and plunged my hands in, scrubbing ferociously. I felt Legolas behind me, after several minutes he wrapped his arms around me restricting my movement.

"Your hands are clean," he whispered gently. Legolas looked into my eyes through the mirror in front of us. "That man was your enemy. He was trying to kill you. Realistically, what choice did you have?"

"He just stood there in my dream. He just stared at me. And I realized I could not even call him by name to ask him what he was doing. Who was he? Did he have a family?" I asked brokenly. "I grew up in a world where everything wasn't so black and white. I see shades of grey. Who knows what drove him to this point? Who knows how desperate he was? I mean-"

Legolas gave me a little shake. "You will never know. Can you live with this?"

Shaking my head, I murmured brokenly, "I think I can...and that's what scares me." I broke into sobs and sank slowly to the ground. Legolas followed me and folded me into his shoulder. "It's supposed to be shades of grey. But it was so b-black and white, so e-e-easy with orcs. Of course...of course they were evil," I stuttered out in-between the big, ugly sobs that wracked my body. "But he was like me."

Legolas just stroked my hair, waiting until I began to calm some. "It is never easy," he murmured, "when you finally realize that you can take life...and possibly enjoy it. And the hardest day is when you recognize something about yourself in the person you killed, even if it's the smallest similarity there could be."

He lapsed into silence. We stayed on the floor, entwined, until the last of the sobs were wrung from my body. I nuzzled further into his shoulder. "What did I miss while I was sleeping?"

"Aragorn and the sons of Elrond healed many within this city. They labored for many hours. Only now has Aragorn returned to this tent outside the gates."

"What time is it?" I asked quietly.

"Just before dawn. You must rest more, my love."

I nodded but tightened my hold on him. Legolas waited with me. I think for both of us this felt like a stolen moment. There was no tomorrow, no yesterday. Only that moment existed: the rise and fall of his chest, the weight of his arms around me, the feel of his tunic against my cheek, the slide of his hand through my hair.

I must have drifted off, because I suddenly was on the bed. Legolas was in a chair next to me. "You should sleep," I murmured, eyes closed, while stretching out a hand. I smiled when his hand slid into mine.

"Worry not. I will rest," Legolas assured me lowly. I nodded slightly and gave myself over to sleep.