"You're sleeping on the couch tonight."

"Em, I'm sorry I insulted your bird, but can we please just go back to that making out thing?"

"No. You hurt Mr. Puffin's feelings and your not getting any until he forgives you." Emil crossed his arms and put on the sternest face possible, though Lukas just thought he looked adorable like that.

"It's a bird, Emil. I don't think it's capable of holding grudges or forgiving people."

"Stop calling Mr. Puffin an 'it'! You're just making him even madder."

"Emil, please…"

"Hey, don't beg me. Talk to Mr. Puffin. He makes the rules around here."

"What do you want me to do? Bribe him with fish?"

"I don't know. That's your problem. Now get out," Emil was definitely not letting Lukas off the hook this time. "And put on some clothes."

Lukas huffed and grabbed his pillow from the bed, then left the room. As he set up his makeshift bed on the couch, he heard Mr. Puffin squawk. It would not stop. "Could you shut it already?" Lukas wasn't taking any of this from the bird that had thrown away his chances of sex tonight. Mr. Puffin squawked again, and again, and again.

"Mr. Puffin, what is it?" Emil asked groggily as he emerged from the bedroom.

"Bird won't shut up."

Emil sighed and opened the fridge to pull out a bucket of fish. He threw a few in the air towards the bird, who skillfully caught all three in its beak. "Go to sleep," Emil said.

"I was trying to but the bird wouldn't let me."

"I was talking to Mr. Puffin." Emil then retreated to the bedroom.