Ch18

Flashback

Nobody's POV

Raph is standing next to the wall as he was searching for his answer in Splinter's lecture he was much more impatient to listen to all those boring words.

-"Don't try to explode my mind before telling me the truth, simple questions have simple answers"

-"As always you're impatient please sit after all we want to wash two years path of our life road" he said as he was trying to not go over the Raph's anger

-" YESS! I am impatient don't play with me, I came in peace not for fight, but I want reasons I was patient enough for two years" he was burning from the inside but didn't want another fight "fine"

Raph said and set

-"I don't know how to start, where to start? As I said it was just an experiment that went much far wrong than I thought ….."

-" Why him? Why Leo? What's different in him? What does he have that we don't? Why is he the chosen one?"

-"That night I told him to go on a trip so far and stay as long as possible and not come anytime soon…."

-"You did what?! And he didn't say anything?! Why? Why Leo? Why do you think he's better? Why did you choose him?"

-"I didn't choose Leonardo….I…. I fooled him I deceived him"

-"Oh please the last guy you can deceive is Leo. These are nonsense"

-"Yes he's careful but not when it's about his family"

-"You still didn't answer me why Leo? Cause he's wise, strong, because you think we won't last without him?"

-" He's not stronger, he's not anything better than you or the others but still he's your weakness point all of you, all of you is another one's weakness you are so much depends in each other Leonardo is the one who always feel so much more responsible than he must feel so I use this, cause Raphael you and him even with all of these fights are so much in need of each other you just ignore it."

-"You used us! You did all this! You play with our emotions!"

-"I wanted see your alliance, I mean your brother is the one who is too worry about everything…. All of you are too scared of losing each other too deep and dependable to each other and this fear wasn't good I tried to destroy this fear by breaking you so when you get together again there would be no fear, but…. I just fed your fears, Leonardo does everything to look complete so that night I told him something that…..it's not important."

-"NO IT IS IMPORTANT WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM?"

-"I told him to vanish and don't answer any letter I mean any letters even those that were from me…."

-" so he did get the le…. Wait a second you wrote to him?! When! When? How could you? But something is not right he said he just got one letter but we posted hundreds of them…" Raph's eyed widened

-" I burnt all of your letters after you put them into the mail box, I was afraid that his soft heart couldn't bear it, I'm sure he still has that first letter" he said as he was looking at his paws he didn't dare to look at Raph's eyes Raph's hands was shaking

"You did this to us (he was breathing heavily and was speechless) you played with our pride may I ask which old saying told to torture your family like this? Ok you wanted to see how far Leo goes what else?"

-" I knew you have anger issue I knew you might get angry by not going to the surface I guessed you might go alone to some little fight but…. But I never thought you would do such thing" but Raph cut him he is so angry the foggy veil that made him lost to these maze suddenly disappeared and now

"NO, I swear if you start to lecture me for my aggressive sin when you're the most guilty..." Splinter took his power to cut him but he didn't look at his eyes

"To be….to become the city's Night Watcher" Raph suddenly twitched he didn't accept this.

-" What did you say?! How? How did you know? How long? "

-"I had many mistakes I did many things wrong but... (His eyes filled with tears) but before I became a Sensei, Raphael I was I am father, I wasn't sure till that car crash happened to Michelangelo"

-"But Leo could choose he could come back sooner…."

-"I was afraid of your and his reaction about… about everything, your secret identity, our problems, so I wrote to him many times to not come back soon and it became longer and longer…"

-"But he could come sooner why is he so stupid he…" Raph hardly controlled himself not to cry, yell or anything else he was shaking as he was sitting on the chair next to bed

-" for one time in your life please, please listen to the end. Yes Leonardo didn't come sooner cause I told him but he didn't listen to me neither he wasn't supposed to come now I wrote him to come later but he came back for you for all of you he missed you"

-"it wasn't his fault, it wasn't …" Raph whispered

-" of course it wasn't it…." Suddenly Raph jumped from his chair and clench his fists as he was breathing heavily, his eyes filled with tears he couldn't bear it anymore he shouted

-" You're responsible… you are responsible for everything you brought us to this hell… you are responsible for Mikey's accident, responsible for his wounds for his night crying for his depression, that he can't use his left hand after that day completely, for Leo's sense of guilt… you are so much heartless, selfish than I thought you…" Raph said it was like…..these horrible truths that stabbed him right in the heart were far too much to handle.

-" I… I think I should go, yes no use to talk"

-"Raphael wait…. Wait.. I'm sorry, really sorry" Raph opened the door and stands next to it

-"I'm sorry too but it's late, too late" he said coldly without turning his head then left and closed the door.

End of flashback

A/N

HEY! I really don't know why it's getting this long every time I say two chapter last and then I want to write more I hoped you didn't get bored but this time really 2 or 3 chapters last ;)