A/N: Heyyy so in this chapter you will get to see the ins and outs of Jace, that sounds kinda wrong *fangirls cheering* Once again I have been quite mean in this chapter and I am sorry for that... Maybe
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Chapter 18: Something once lost, will never return
Everything was dark, it was like Cris had fallen into a desolate, black abyss. She couldn't see anything: just black. No lighter shades, none darker, just an endless pit of black. Just like Jace's wardrobe Cris thought to her own amusement.
At least things were a bit better now, she had been picking up slight sounds but that was it; sometimes a high-pitched wailing, other times a sound so low it was barely audible. Her eye lids still seem too heavy to lift as if they were stitched shut, she could feel a slight weird feeling on her nose; she could breathe through it but could not smell anything.
Then, as if in a wave, she could hear everything and feel a little: a constant, incessant beating that never ceased, and loud voices that were distant but still loud enough so Cris could know what they were saying but she also felt someone grabbing her hands as if someone was holding hers.
"There is a high possibility she may never wake up, Doctor, you have to except this" a woman sounding voice cam drifting through. Who were they talking about? Doctor who? She asked herself and then laughed though the sound never came out of her mouth just stayed locked up in her brain.
A man, with a familiar low pitched voice, groaned and said "She has to and I don't think I could accept it if she died, she's my bloody patient Camille, I have known her for a long time, she can't die. I won't let her!" The doctor almost shouting to the women who she guessed was named Camille. Camille sighed then and said "She fell over 6 metres, Bane. That would be bad even if she wasn't attacked only this morning and left with serious concussion and a broken leg, which has no doubt made this situation ten times worse! She's strong everyone knows that but this maybe something even she can't survive,"
Crap, th… they were talking about me… I'm going to die, as these thoughts raced through her head as the annoying beeping sound sped up. Beeps buzzed through the air as Cris mind went blank and the beeping immediately ceased and so did every other sound that she could hear. The last thing she heard was someone very familiar shouting 'NO' before the darkness consumed everything: her sight, her hearing, her senses, her thoughts. Cris was back to square one stuck in complete and only darkness.
Jace's POV
Walking across the sterile white corridor, Jace couldn't help but feel nervous for Cris: what if she died and even if she lived would she ever be the same again? No, no she is NOT going to die, she'll be fine Jace thought stubbornly and he could see that Will, Simon, Izzy and Katniss were nervous as well: Will had a mask of indifference on, something he mostly did when he was nervous or scared, Simon looked like he was on the verge of tears, Izzy was quiet, for once, and Katniss looked like she just wanted to hide in the nearest vent.
Jace was worried if anything; he was worried that he wouldn't feel again (he would always love Clary but he was worried that if Cris died he would close himself off like before Cris and Clary), Cris was his sister, and that didn't matter whether it was by blood or not, and Jace didn't know who he could turn to if Cris died, she had helped him with Clary, and frankly every one, so many times, Clary most likely would've left him a long time ago if Cris hadn't slapped Jace into shape, literally.
He was worried that if Cris died, everyone else would leave him: he would have no friends, no sister and no Clary, which was something Jace couldn't deal with, he didn't want to go back to being a douche man-whore. If Cris died, Clary would leave him for sure and Jace couldn't deal with the loss of Cris and Clary; that only happened in his worst nightmares. He was afraid they would come to reality.
Jace knew Will couldn't do without Cris either, he had already lost one sister and after that gone in a downward spiral, Will would turn in to a douche player like Jace would be, so having that happen again with no one to save him, it would only be worse that the time before. Jace knew Will relied on Cris as much as he did; if it weren't for Cris Will wouldn't be with Tessa, or anyone for that fact, he would still be a player. Will would close himself off to everyone again, maybe apart from Jem, maybe.
It wasn't like the others didn't need Cris as well but Jace felt he and Will needed her more, for their sakes and for the sakes of those around them. Cris couldn't die, she was strong, and she would beat this like she had with everything else.
This only made Jace feel even more nervous as they approached the door with three lions, that were burnt in to the wooden plaque, indicating that this was the Jones' private room, if a family donated large amounts of money to the hospital, they would give them their own private room; Herondale's, Carstairs' and Lightwood's had private rooms as well which was good because they use the hospital way too often.
The hospital was run and paid for by the government but family's often gave money in when a member had been treated there or they gave it because they wanted to the hospital to help those who didn't have the money to pay for some treatments that the NHS wouldn't fund, Jace knew this was why the Jones' donated.
When they opened the door, rather hesitantly, Izzy ran to one of the chairs at the side of Cris' bed and sat in it leaning her head on Cris' mattress. Katniss went over and sat in the chair next to Izzy, she, comfortingly, put a hand round her waist and pulled her into a hug, Izzy threw her hands round Katniss and they both cries into each other. Simon went and sat on the other side of the bed, to the girls, and held one of Cris' hand; lightly, so that he wouldn't hurt her but firmly enough so that neither she nor he could let go, not that Simon was going to let her go any time soon anyway.
Will and Jace were standing at the door way as if they had been glued to the ground. Jace couldn't move while looking at Cris nor could he look away. Cris looked as if she were sleeping; her hair spread around her face so that some strands dangled off the bed, her eyes closed and her features made her looked peaceful. They would have probably thought she was sleeping if the circumstances were any different.
The doctor came behind them and said "Well aren't you going to go in?" At that Jace and Will snap out of their trance and enter the room: Jace went to sit next to Simon and Will next to the girls. Silence filled the room and the doctor filled it by saying "Okay, so you should talk to her because there may be a chance she can hear you and if she can hear you voices she might make herself wake up. Just talk about school and whatever is happening in the news or weather but anything will really do. I know it may be hard but try and discuss what you would normally would,"
They all nod and Simon gives a small "Okay," The doctor seems to take this as his cue to leave so he says "Press the green button for the nurses if anything about Miss Jones' demeanour changes," the doctor gives them a sympathetic look and closes the door softly behind him. Jace was surprised the doctors and nurses would be that helpful and kind at 2 o'clock in the morning.
Just after the doctor leaves Cris' mother comes in. "Hey guys," she says kindly and they all seem to perk up a bit at this. They had known her along time, even before they knew Cris, and Cris' mother treated them all as she did Cris. Izzy lifted her head off Katniss and it was obvious Izzy had been crying: she had red cheeks and her eyes were shinning with unshed tears.
They all murmured back a greeting apart from Izzy who was silent. Cris' mother's eyes immediately darted to Izzy, sensing something was very wrong with Izzy, and she sat down on the opposite side from Katniss and Will, and loving and comfortingly rubbed her back and this made Izzy lean into her, resting her head on Cris' mother's shoulder. Cris' mother then began to stroke Izzy's hair and she said handing her a tissue "You don't want to mess up that beautiful face of yours by crying," Izzy took the tissue and gave her a small sad smile.
Cris' mother, like Cris, was very good at making you smile in even the worst of circumstances. Then she continued "Cris will be fine," She was now addressing all of them when she spoke, and she stroked Cris' hair as well as she continued. "She's just taking her time to rest, it was a hard day for her," her voice nearly broke at the end but she held it together. "She will fight it like she always does," her voice was soft as if thinking of a fond, distant memory. She chuckles and says "I didn't let her take fighting at school for nothing," At this even Will and Jace smiled, they knew Cris' mother didn't like her fighting but Cris, ironically, fought to study it.
"Anyway I've got to go now but if anything happens to Cris or you guys need anything, what so ever, call me," Izzy and Katniss hugged her and she kissed Cris on the forehead and ran her fingers through Cris' hair one last time before walking to the door. "Guys, I mean anything" she says reiterating what she said earlier, she said good bye and left letting the door close behind her. She was so much like Cris in personality and a bit alike in looks, if you didn't know, you would have thought Cris was her biological daughter.
"Hey Cris" Katniss started acting on the doctor's orders. "I mean you probably can't hear us but there's always that possibility right?" Katniss continued making Izzy give a small, sad smile. Izzy now had her head resting on Katniss' shoulder, Will was sitting incredibly straight, Jace was doing the same thing and Simon had his head in his hands.
"I heard school is off until Monday," Since it was only Tuesday, the whole school got time off, probably because Mrs Branwell adored Cris, like she would her daughter, and she probably needed the time off. Simon said this speaking out for the first time since they entered the room.
"Yeah, I don't think Charlotte wants to go there knowing you're not there to hassle her Cris," Will said with a smile and it made Jace chuckle and say "But she might've actually got work done if you're not there!" Will laughed at this, Katniss and Izzy gave a small grin and even the tips of Simon's mouth rose a little.
"Charlotte said she'll come visit as soon as she's allowed but I don't think Henry's permitted to enter the hospital after last time" Izzy said smiling remembering when Charlotte and Henry came to see Cris when she had to get stitches after knife throwing practice: one girl 'accidently' threw a knife at Cris and it grazed her shoulder blade leaving a small, but quite deep, gash. She had to get quite a few stitches but the girl got off lucky, she'd only been badly winded and had a bruised jaw and a black eye, since Cris fought with her, and Cris went easy on the brat and she was quite heavily bleeding from the back of her shoulder. Cris got insanely pissed at the girl because the girl only smirked at Cris and didn't even apologise to Cris for cutting her, so she really deserved it. In fact if it wasn't for Cris getting there first, and for the fact that people had to hold them back, Jace and Will would probably of given her a few more bruises, it was un-gentlemanly but the girl hurt their sister; what were they supposed to do?
But anyway, getting off track here, when Henry had come in with a new device he invented, it may or may not have sent high frequency signals across the hospital that messed up a lot of their electronics. Luckily no life support machines were damaged and there were no patients that needed life support anyway, so it wouldn't have mattered anyway. But never the less Henry was banned from the hospital which must annoy him as he won't be able to see Cris, whom he also adores. Cris seemed to have that effect on people: you'd either love her (like a sibling or the other type) or you'd hate her; normally because you'd be jealous of how she has the effect on people.
Which made it even weirder when Jace found out that she actually doesn't like attention or the way she looks or her personality. Jace had always had self-assuredness and it didn't make sense for Cris to not feel the same about herself when she had so much but she just doesn't realise it. Now what I mean is she knows how lucky she is to have friends and people who were like family that loved her and to have all the materialistic things but she wanted to change her looks and personality when she really didn't need to and frankly no one who want her to change the way she was. Even Jace, who was like her brother and who liked to call himself that, had to admit she was, nearly, perfect, it was just her circumstances that made things change in her.
Jace couldn't help thinking these things as he realised he couldn't stay in the room any longer without breaking down, he couldn't see Cris like this; he didn't want to see her so broken and unable to live on her own accords. He looked up as Will muttered an excuse and left the room, Jace then did the same and left to see the only person that could comfort him in a moment like this, the only person who knew how Jace was really feeling, the only person that he wanted to comfort, as well, in a moment like this, the person whom he couldn't possibly love more. Clary.
