A/N: Heyyyyyy guys new chapter yayyy so these last two updates have been posted weirdl for me as I normally do it on a weekend and I'm sorry but half term has made it weird :)
so anyway this is kinda angsty and fluffy... enjoy :D
Chapter 28: Doesn't she fail as a heroine for not being scared of anything at all?
After, what Cris thought to be, hours of discussion about whether or not she was sure she wanted the surgery, she still hadn't changed her mind. Determination flowed in her blood and no matter how painful the surgery was going to be; no matter that there is a chance that she'll never be able to walk again, she had to take that chance. No matter how small it was.
She had been informed that she couldn't be put to sleep during the surgery as they were dealing with her nervous system and even though they would put her on pain killers, they weren't allowed to be that strong and therefore she would feel an excess of pain.
This didn't deter her. If anything it made want it more. Without pain, how could you know joy? She quoted to herself. No matter how much resolve lied within her, that did not mean she was fearless; in fact she was petrified.
Bertholdt had left as he had something to attend to, which Cris thought was just an excuse so he wouldn't find himself backing Cris instead of helping Magnus, Cris could just tell; he had that expression about him. This left Magnus to deal with a very determined and slightly annoyed Cris.
Cris took a deep breath and said "Look Magnus, I want to do this, I need to do this," Magnus just looked at her as if he knew he couldn't win and he sighed, defeated, and said, "Fine, the girl wins but Cris you must remember that surgeries aren't always a success and this is a very complicated one indeed"
"I know" Cris replied in a small voice, looking down at her hands which had bunched up the blanket so that her knuckles had turned white. "Magnus, can I ask you for something?" She said sounding a bit like a child, that innocent voice that often irritated herself but she needed something and she intended to get it.
He looked over at her worriedly, his eyes wide in surprise: Cris hardly ever asked for things, she liked to be able to do everything herself and Magnus knew it annoyed her when she had to rely on others. It was that and the voice she had so carefully acted out; Magnus knew she was about to ask for something he couldn't give her and he also knew that he would cave in as Cris used that innocent, dependant voice because, in all honesty, Magnus often saw Cris as his younger sister, since he didn't have any siblings himself.
"Sure, honey," he said walking over to her side. He knew he was playing straight into her hands but it wasn't that she was manipulative, just darn cute like a baby lion.
"Can I see my mum?" She said sweetly, looking up with wide doe eyes that just happened to sparkle when looking at him. Damn it! He thought as he tried to tell her it straight.
"Cris, you know we can't let anyone in," He said, trying to keep strong but a bit of un-sureness crept in. Unfortunately for Magnus, she seemed to notice this as she stepped up her game.
Her eyes were now slightly watering as she said "I know but I was hoping my big brother could help me out," Damn the brother card, can she literally read my thoughts? He was starting to question how human Cris actually was when she continued, "It's just all too much to handle now and I really miss her, she's the closest thing I have to a blood family, Magnus, it's really hard and I'm afraid everyone will leave me like my real family did," Tears rolled down her cheeks and Magnus sat on the side of her bed and wiped her cheeks with his thumbs.
She looked up and met Magnus' gaze, he gave a small smile and said, "Cris, your mother loves you like you're her real daughter, you have ten ton of friends who would not only sacrifice their lives but also the lives of millions of innocent people just so you could be safe, you're practically Charlotte and Henry's child and they love you like one, nearly all of the teachers at your school adore you, which is something no one in human history has ever managed to do before, and most importantly you have me and Alec, who if you weren't already adopted, would've have seriously adopted you a long time ago,"
Cris looked to see if he was joking but everything about him was so serious, which was so unlike Magnus. Despite everything Cris smiled and Magnus continued, "I don't know what happened with your real family but they were stupid to ever let you go because if they ever knew what a perfect girl you had become, they'd come running back to get you"
She smiled but something in Magnus twisted at his words as he thought of the irony of it. He hid it though, he hid the truth of his later words for her sake. She tried to be strong all the time but Magnus knew that even though she was tough, she couldn't handle everything.
"You wouldn't would you?" She asked a slight smile on her lips. Magnus seemed confused for a second before she continued, "You and Alec wouldn't really?" She questioned again and then he realised what she was meaning and he smiled.
"Cris, me and Alec have had talks on this before, we have said that we would adopt one day and we even talked about the possibility of adopting you, if you already weren't adopted," Magnus added brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear as she smiled.
"You're lying," She said but she didn't seem confident in it herself. Magnus smiled again and continued, "I'm not lying, you can ask Alec if you like, we'd always thought of adopting a kid but we're waiting for the right time. We were once talking about the qualities we'd want in a kid and you have every single one we mentioned. It's damn annoying, if I say so, because we've known you for a long time and we know a lot about you. Alec wanted a kid that could stand up for itself but wasn't too head strong and still relied and trusted in others. I wanted a kid I could dress up in really cute clothing and who we could go out with and would not be completely embarrassed by,"
"Then we thought that we were asking for too much out of one child but you have every one of those qualities, Cris, and if we could, we would've adopted you by now, probably a long time ago, but we decided we couldn't take you away from your mum because you are her daughter, blood or not, you have no idea how much you mean to us two or your mum or your friends,"
Cris smiled at Magnus' words, he truly knew how to make her feel better. She wrapped her arms around Magnus' neck and pulled him in, he immediately returned the hug, without touching her back to not cause her pain. Cris was the first to pull back after a few minutes, she smiled and said, "Magnus, can you let my mum in now?"
"Cris," Magnus almost whined but Cris didn't give up and replied in the same voice as Magnus used, "Magnus,"
Magnus looked her in the eye challenging her. She just managed to keep a straight face while staring him in the eye as well. After a few minutes of intensely staring each other, Magnus looked away, cursing. Cris gave a wide smile as Magnus got up and said "Fine, fine I'll go get her, you're lucky she hardly leaves the hospital,"
A spike went through her heart as Magnus shut the door behind him. Damn him, making me feel bad!
o.0.o
It wasn't long before Cris' mum ran in the room. When I say ran, she literally sprinted to my side. She pulled Cris in to a bone-crushing hug and caused spikes of pain to go through her back and head.
"Mum," she gasped trying to keep the pain out of her voice. "Oh my, I'm so sorry, I forgot!" She said hurriedly, immediately pulling away. She then grabbed Cris' face and Cris could see the tears that were streaming down her face.
"Cris, I'm so sorry this happened to you, if I had been a better mother…" Her mother said hoarsely. "Don't you dare say that, you are the best mother I could hope for, please don't say, this was none of your fault" Cris said trying to keep the tears out of her eyes.
"But if I…" Her mother paused then, Magnus had told her to be careful and not saying anything that may spark memories in this stage. He had told her that her daughter didn't remember what happened after the incident in school and it saddened her because she knew the moment Cris remembered what happened at Jamie's something bad would happen and most likely to Cris.
They had to be cautious with what they said; she'd only just woke up and to put that pressure on her would surely cause a fit of sorts. But luckily Cris stopped her from continuing, "Look you are the best mother I could've hoped for and I missed you so much even though I didn't know I was gone,"
At this her mother smiled and her mother pressed her lips to her forehead and muttered, "I missed you so much too, don't ever leave me like that again, I can't handle it when something bad happens so much and it pains me so much to see you like this" Cris felt her mother's tears land on her head and Cris pulled back and smiled sadly.
"I'm fine and I'll be even better when I've had the surgery," Cris said, kind of hoping that her mum didn't go mental at the news. Quite surprisingly, her mum just smiled and said "If that's what you want sweetie, I know I can't persuade you otherwise," Cris smiled at this and replied, "I'll beat the chances,"
Her mother pulled her into another hug at this, luckily this time she made sure she didn't hurt her. She turned her head so that she could whisper into Cris' ear, "You have so far,"
Cris smiled and before anything else could happen Magnus came into the room and said "I'm really sorry but you'll have to go now," He said gesturing to her mother. "We need to prepare Cris for surgery,"
This came as a shock to Cris, "S-so soon," she gulped and Magnus gave a small nod, "I'm afraid so," he said and Cris' mother got up but still had their hands interlaced. Cris squeezed her mother's hand as if to say that she'll be fine.
Her mother smiled and simply said, "Shouldn't I be the one comforting you," She kissed her forehead once more and left, leaving Cris feel slightly lonely.
"You ready?" Magnus asked, worry quite clear in his voice.
"As I'll ever be,"
