A/N: Heyy guys. I hope you all had a Happy Easter or just a good day if you don't celebrate it :D

Once again there will be some swearing so please don't feel offended by it because I rated it T for a reason

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Chapter 35: It's okay to be afraid. The important thing is we face our fears, that's what makes us strong!

Cris woke up quite early in the morning; her throat raw and dry, her eyes and cheeks still wet from her crying herself to sleep last night. Suddenly as her sense awaken she feels very hot, opening her eyes as slowly as possible she sighs in annoyance.

She lifts the blanket slightly off her, trying not to wake the Herondale boys that had sandwiched her in. She looks to see a black head of hair shift closer to her in his sleep and as Will did that, the golden head of ruffled hair did the same; squeezing her. She did in fact mind this as she was probably sweating from roasting alive by the boys' extreme body heat.

She wasn't going to do anything until Will whispers something in a hoarse voice, "Tess," Cris cringed as Jace said in the same voice Will had used, "Clary," Feeling very sick Cris lets out an annoyed "Eww!" before shoving both of them off opposite sides of the bed.

She hears them groan in a hazy state. "No, don't have those type of dreams while sleeping next to me," She almost screams but in a low register. As she looks at the boys sprawled on the floor on opposite sides of her bed she looks around the rest of the room noticing that it was completely tidy; no evidence of her breakdown anywhere, apart from on her face.

Her eyes dart over to the door noticing it had been detached… not ripped of the hinges and was now laying neatly against the wall. Jace! She immediately thought as Jace was sort-of a neat freak whereas Will was the completely opposite in that department.

Jace sits up first running a hand through his golden locks before groaning her name. When he looks at her all of his protests fall silent as he notices her red, blotchy, tear-stained face. He quickly springs up onto the bed and pulls her into a hug.

Her head resting on his shoulder and her hands gripping his bare shoulder blades. It was only then she realised he was only wearing a pair of joggers leaving his chest and back bare and hot to the touch. Cris didn't mind this at all as not only had Jace and Will both slept (just sleep, okay) with her before and she'd seen them both shirtless and luckily for her nothing more.

They always called themselves siblings but honestly Cris thought they were closer than that. They were siblings and best friends all at the same time; Cris liked it when they stayed over because it gave her a sense of safety that she wouldn't have with anyone else apart from Simon. The reason people thought they were lovers was because they acted like it; only difference being that they weren't romantically involved at all.

Around them she doesn't care about anything so she lets the left over tears spill down her eyes before rolling down his shoulders. At that she feels a pair of arms snake around her waist and Will nuzzles his face in her neck.

"I'm sorry guys," She says simply into Jace's shoulder. As they just give her quite 'ssh' as if saying that she had no need to apologize and that they were sorry too. Jeez, I know them too well, she thought to herself, thinking that she now understood why people sometimes thought they were cheating on Clary and Tessa although Cris knew that they would even dream of cheating on them.

They stayed in that embrace; Cris once again sandwiched in between both Herondale's bare chests. She didn't have to ask why they were there; it was obvious. Cris knew that they just wanted to help her and wanted to explain that, plus they never would/ have left her vulnerable, they couldn't do that.

Cris' mum walks in not bothering to knock, as there was no door. "Mêl," Cris' mother says soflty bring the trio apart.

"Wyt ti'n iawn?" She asks to which Cris just nods. "Mae brecwast yn barod. Eich dau, fynd i lawr y grisiau," She tells the boys, smiling slightly before leaving them, to which Jace looks in confusion to Will.

As Will knew Welsh and Jace didn't, he answered Jace's unanswered question, "Breakfast," Jace almost runs down the stairs after Will at the promise of food, leaving Cris alone in her room. She sighs smiling, shaking her head slightly before changing into her school uniform.

0.o.0

After eating what was left of the food her mother had prepared, thanks to the Herondale's, they all take Cris' car to school, her mother dropping her off as she was going into work anyway. They were know standing a little way from the school gates, Cris slightly apprehensive to go in. Jace and Will now flanked her like bodyguards protecting the Queen, as they both looked down at her, sympathy swimming in their eyes, which gave Cris the slight urge to punch something. Slight.

"You don't have do this, today," Will says placing one large hand in between her shoulder blades. She looked up to Will, then to Jace who nodded reassuringly. Completely ignoring what Will said, Cris began to walk into the school gates, sighing heavily.

The boys looked to each other before walking by her side once again. Cris couldn't help it, she was nervous and it might've seemed irrational but she couldn't help but think what her friends still thought of her after what Jace and Will said. It didn't matter to her what everyone else thought but the thought of her friends believing that of her, hurt. (a/n: just in case your confused, Cris is worried that her friends believe she's a slut after what was written on the whiteboard a few chapters ago)

Nearly as soon as she stepped into through the tall iron gates lots of pairs of little arms encircled her waist. What the…

Cris looked down to see about seven year 7 girls clinging to her waist. Cris smiled down at them as they looked up at her wide eyed.

Before Cris could utter a single syllable one of the girls, who had short brown hair and big brown eyes to match, said, "Cris, we heard you were in hospital, are you alright?" As she said that the other girls looked up at her as well, expecting an answer.

Just then Cris remembered that these girls made up the Year 7 netball team that Cris often helped out with. And when I say often helped out with, I mean coached them at training and went to most of their matches.

"Yeah, I'm fine now, thanks, how has the netball been going?" She said hugging the girls to her then letting them go. They all stepped back forming a sort of semi-circle around her. "We had a tournament last week, you know the one before counties," Another girl sweetly said, who had bright blue eyes and dark black hair tied back in a tight ponytail.

Cris remembered Marlene, one of the PE teachers, talking to Cris about it before, apparently this tournament was the semi-finals and if the team came either first or second they would go through to the finals which brought the top schools in the country to play against each other.

They had teams from Year 7 to year 11, Cris played in the year 11 team and helped out with the other years a lot. Nephilim Academy was well known for their sports which was why last year's year 8, 10 and 11 teams won the finals last year, whereas year 7 came second in the finals and year 9 didn't make the finals due to their best player getting injured.

Anyway enough backstory, Cris was suddenly curious as the year 7's tournament was at the start of the year, being last week.

"How did you guys do?" Cris asked putting her hands on the captain of the team's shoulders while looking at the rest of the team.

The girls suddenly looked sad then as one of them said, "Well we made the finals but we came second," The girls looked so upset with themselves as Cris smiled and said happily, "You may no have come first but you still got through to the finals. You guys will do as well as you can in the finals which means you will do amazingly because I will help you in training, okay?" The girls nodded with small smiles on their faces.

"So you'll help us train?" Their captain said looking up at Cris. "Of course but if I can't I'll tell Marlene to show you some stuff, okay?" They all nodded and they hugged her once more before letting go and looking up at Jace and Will who were still behind her.

The girls' eyes showed slight awe looking up at the two. Cris just laughed and said bye to the girls who just nodded, unable to speak; probably because two insanely hot guys were standing behind her like bodyguards.

Cris was surprised no one else noticed her, as she walked up to their normal gazebo. She could hear their voices drifting out of the gazebo. They stopped outside slightly hidden so that no one inside could see them as Cris put her finger to her lips telling them to stay quiet.

Jace and Will exchanged expressions as if telling each other it was a bad idea but they didn't say anything.

"So where were Jace and Will yesterday?" Cris heard Hazel ask to which Clary answered, "They said they were looking after their sister," She obviously had slight confusion in her voice because she probably didn't quite understand it herself.

Cris looked to Jace and Will with a slightly pissed off face to which they just smirked and shrugged. "Cecily's ill?!" Tris asks not knowing who else it could be. Cris rolled her eyes as she leant against the wooden frame. She hears the boys trying to hold in a laugh to which Cris send them a reprimanding look.

Cris couldn't see what was happening in their but she guessed someone shook their head because Maia said, "You think they meant Cris?" Silence shrouded the area like a heavy blanket had covered them all.

Cris looked to them questioningly to which Jace and Will looked to each, not wanting to reveal what they knew. "Look, you can't keep ignoring it," Simon said sounding slightly desperate. "We're not ignoring it," Tessa says a hint of stubbornness set in her voice.

"You two haven't even tried to visit Cris since the whiteboard incident," Tris then said to which she hears two people sigh. Cris suddenly tenses remembering that Jace and Will said Clary and Tessa were having a hard time but they didn't blame her, did they?

"You still think it's true, don't you?" Hazel asked but sounding like she already knew the answer. Cris froze, did they really think so badly of her? Not to mention the fact that they were practically brothers to her, so it would practically incest, to Cris anyway.

Cris didn't even get to hear their answer as she hears her name being called behind her, she turned to see Jem standing next to Will. She doesn't even know what to do, she hadn't planned this far. She just stands their looking into his eyes. The eyes that always held so much hope, so much kindness. This time there seems to be so many emotions swimming around in the silver pools that Cris can't distinguish one from another.

"J-Jem," She whispers as he runs to her and nearly knocks her over in a hug. His arms encircle just below her shoulder blades as she drops her crutches to the floor and after getting over the original shock, she loops her arms around his neck and pulls him closer.

Then unexpected to Cris he lifts her off the ground and with a squeal from Cris, starts swinging her around. "Jem!" She squeals clinging closer. His grip feels like a vice but it doesn't scare her or make her want to retract; it makes her feel safe.

He finally stops spinning her and sets her down on the ground but he doesn't let go of her and she doesn't let go of him. "Cris," He says slowly as if savouring the word. She looks him in the eye once more to see them sparkling.

"I'm s-" He starts looking down at his feet but Cris interrupts him by putting two finger up to his chin lowering his head so that their gazes meet once more. "Don't apologise, it wasn't your fault. None of it was your fault," She says softly but with determination set in her voice.

She pulls him closer and they are so close to each other that she can feel his sharp intake of breathe when she nuzzles her face in his neck. She inhales his sweet scent that clouds her brain as if nothing else mattered.

After some amount of time, Cris wasn't really sure how much time had passed because it simply didn't matter, she hears gagging coming from her left. She pulls away and giggles as Jem also pulls away reluctantly.

She turns to see Jace and Will looking slightly sick and leaning on each other, heaving in breathes. Cris just laughed and looked at Jem who had a slight blush on his face. "Are you saying that hugging someone is worse than what I had to be put through last night?" Cris said to the boys who looked at her and immediately looked away trying not to show the faint blush that also graced their cheeks.

At that she freezes and straightens her posture straight, knowing that all her friends in the gazebo now know she's here. She turns slowly, clinging to Jem as her crutches were still laying on the floor.

She looks at their faces which range from surprise to hurt to delight. Izzy then walks forward as if to hug her but Cris puts her arms up as if saying to stay away.

Izzy's arms fall back to her side; hurt and confusion resting in her eyes. Cris looks at all of them unbelieving that they could believe that. The only people Cris can be sure who know it's not true were Jace and Will but it already seemed that Jem didn't think it was true or didn't care if it was.

She knew that Simon knew Cris hadn't slept with him, Jace or Will but Cris got the feeling that he thought she had with Jem and Jamie.

"Don't!" Cris says looking down at the floor, unable to look them in the eyes. "Just to let you know, I really don't give a shit about what you think about me," Cris lies looking Izzy right in the eyes causing her to flinch at the coldness in Cris' voice.

"Cris," Maia says softly stepping forward but Cris puts her hand up. "I don't want to hear your fucked up excuses!" She almost shouts causing everyone to flinch, apart from Jem who remains a steady figure next to Cris.

"Do you know what?" Cris asks, tears springing up in her eyes. "For weeks all I've wanted to do was see you guys, now I can't think of anything worse," She simply states causing ripples of shock to hurtle through the area.

Jem who knowing she was about to storm away, passed Cris her crutches. She quickly slid them round her arms and as quickly as she could she stormed out of the area. All of them, apart from Jem, were too shocked to move and it was only Jem who followed her out of the field and into the main school building.

She didn't mind the fact that he followed her, in fact she wanted him, and only him, to. Once they were in the school building which was completely empty, weirdly and Jem didn't feel the need to tell her that no student was allowed in the building before registration.

The sound of their footsteps bounced of the pristine white walls as Cris continued until she found the classroom she knew would be abandoned throughout the day. The door would have slammed behind her if Jem had not been there to come through.

She threw her crutches against the opposite wall, where they pulled down various papers that were tacked on to it. Cris sunk down on other the wall and hid her head in her legs and arms.

Jem didn't say anything; just sat down next to Cris and put his arms around her. She leaned into him, wanting the comfort she knew he could provide. Leaning her head on his chest, she uncurled slightly as he ran his long elegant fingers through her hair.

She sighed, letting the tears fall down her face. "All I wanted to do was see them and for them to think so badly of me -" Cris chocked out, unable to finish what she was saying.

She was about to ramble on when Jem turned her head so that she was facing him. "You don't need to explain anything, just let me comfort you," He said in a soft voice that made her shiver and slowly nod before he pulled her against him and allowed her to cry.

Translations:

Mêl – Honey

wyt ti'n iawn? – Are you alright?

Mae brecwast yn barod. Eich dau, fynd i lawr y grisiau, - Breakfast is ready. You two, get downstairs


Quick A/N: I just wanted to make it clear to you guys that Cris doesn't cry a lot. Nor does she like to cry in front of people. Although she seems to be crying a lot, I was just trying to represent how her close relationships our with the people she allows herself to cry in front because she normally wouldn't cry, especially in front of people...