Okay don't be confused this is Christians Chapter first. I wills explain next chapter what prompted Ana to reach out to him. I just write what comes to me first so I hope you enjoy it anyway. I just want to say thank you for ALL of your reviews and favorites and follows. It has truly made my day every time I get a new one. I just love it. Thank you all so much. Also to the reviewers who sent me a private message asking if it was okay to recommend my story to people. ABSOLUTELY. Please guys feel free to tell others if you like my story that much frankly I'm flattered if you do. I know I make some grammatical errors because I write this on a phone. I do re-read my chapter buts I guess I'm only human lol. Thank you again
Beep Beep Beep!
The sound of my alarm tells me another day has gone and passed. Another night of me staring at my ceiling. After passing out drunk on my office floor yet again I woke up at 4 in the morning only to lay in bed with a racing mind. After the haziness wore off Ana crept back into the forefront of my thoughts.
Sitting on the edge of my bed I run a frustrated hand through my hair. How long would this last? How long would I be haunted by thoughts of someone that was simply unreachable? She was untouchable now. I would never force myself on her so how long would her thoughts be forced upon me? I wanted to go back to that day that I met her in my club and re-do it all. I wanted to forget about her. I wanted to stop myself from ever stepping up to her. Only I knew that even if I could do it all over the outcome would be the same. I would always be attracted to her and not only in the physical sense.
It was another day without her and another day I didn't want to be a part of. There had to be something wrong with me that I was so enamored by a woman I knew for such a short time. Even though it was so short we spent every second of every minute of every hour that we could together. Looking back it doesn't even feel like nearly enough.
My house phone goes off and I trudge down to the kitchen. Walking toward the fridge to get some juice I answer.
"Hello?"
"Christian?" My breath catches in my throat and I grab on to the counter to steady my shaking body. She was calling me?
"Ana…You called." I let out a relieved breath. It's been a month. One whole damn month since I've heard from Ana. I've had Taylor one of my new body guards send one of his own to watch over her. Word had got out to Kate's family that Ana knew about us. It wasn't that people weren't aware of the mafia. Trust me everyone knew we were around. It was that they knew Ana was with me which led them to believe she might know more than she actually does. That's why I was worried for her.
"Christian… Can I come over? I want to talk to you." I can sense the apprehension in her voice and it bothers me. I never wanted her to feel different around me. There was no need for it. Sure I was a mean fucker out in these streets but to Ana? Never.
"Of course do you want me to pick you up?" I was breathless. I wasn't even sure that this was all happening right now and not just some figment of my imagination.
"No I-I'm already almost there. I'll see you soon." Without another word she hangs up and I stare at the phone in my hands. Placing it on to the receiver I rush up the stairs and take a shower. Picking out jeans and a black T-shirt I slip on my now worn out polo sneakers and head downstairs.
My heart is literally beating out of my chest as I hear her knocking on my door. I wasn't sure what she wanted. Why she called me after a month of ignoring me but I was so hopeful it made me sick. I hadn't seen my family besides Elliot in a month. My father never returned after that one visit to my house and I was glad. I wanted nothing to do with him. We did this family business together and even then we were never in the same room. I knew my mother and Mia were heartbroken and honestly that made me feel like shit but, I couldn't see them. I didn't want too. It reminded me too much of the last time I saw Ana.
Opening the door my chest constricts and old wounds burst open again. Gripping the door I give her a tight smile. I wanted to hug her, I wanted to scream at her for leaving me, and most of I all just wanted to put this behind us and be with her.
"Christian." She breathes. Staring at each other for what felt like eternity, we finally walk into my living. Taking a seat she watches as I stand at the other end of the sofa. I wasn't sure what to do and I wasn't sure what to say.
"God I've missed you so much Christian. My life has been hell." With that her body sags and I see her sobs shake her fragile frame. Feeling my own turmoil rise to the surface I go to her side. Moving her hands from her face I sit beside her wiping her tears away.
"I missed you too. Why? Why did you leave?" I can feel my pain seeping through my words and it hurts. I feel raw and exposed. Cradling her face in my hands I stare into her eyes silently begging her to tell me. Explain to me why she couldn't have at least called me sooner.
"I needed time Christian… God I was falling for you so hard. Everything about me was consumed in thoughts of you. Then I find out that your some big mobster dude." I snort at her description of me and shake my head. She was something else.
"I'm actually called the underboss my father is the Head of the family. I'm second in command. Still… I was falling for you too Ana. You were invading my every thought this past month. If you're not here to at least give me a shot… then please leave and don't torture me this way." Here I was begging for mercy. Irony never fails, considering how many times I've been on the other end of someone else's pleas.
"I need you Christian... I don't want to be without you but what about all of this. What about your job? I mean… if I ask you questions do you promise to be honest with me." I close my eyes while shaking my head. If she asks me about my job and the things I do then she'll know information. Information that others could use against me. What if she didn't stay?
"Ana if I answer your questions and you choose not to stay. You have to leave town tonight." Her mouth drops in shock but I don't move. I was serious. I would do this if it gave me a shot at being with her but if it backfired she would have to leave and never come back.
"O-Okay…Why are in this life style?" She stares at me biting her lip. Smiling I gently pull her lip until her teeth release their pressure.
"I didn't choose this. I was born into it." I shrug while mindlessly rubbing her bottom lip with my thumb.
"Can you step down if you really wanted to?" I stop my movement and stare at her. I guess I could but that has never happened in our family.
"I could but we Grey men are very proud. It's just never happened before."
"Would you do it… for me?" My heart hurts and I close my eyes. I didn't want it to come to this. I wanted Ana deeply but I couldn't deny that I wanted this too. I trained all my life for this. I was like royalty in the mafia and I wanted a shot at my throne. This was important to me. I knew that made me a bad person but I had accepted that fact a long time ago.
"Ana… I would in a heartbeat, but God this is my life. I-I have lived every day for the sole purpose of taking over one day." I stress to her as I hold her hands. I knew I would give it up if she asked me too but would I be happy? I wasn't sure.
"Let's say I stayed and you didn't leave this life…what would that mean for me? Would I have to get involved in this? Would I have to hurt people too?" I can see the worry in her eyes and it pulls at me. Did I want her to live with this guilt every day?
"Ana it's not your job…its mine. I can't lie and say that you won't be involved because you will be by association, but will you ever have to go out on a job and hurt someone? No." I seriously tell her. It was never an option.
"Have you hurt people?" She shyly asks while staring at our hands.
"Yes. A lot."
"Have you..." She clears her throat and looks in to my eyes. "Have you killed people?"
"Yes." I say without hesitation. I wasn't going to lie.
"Innocent people?" She wonders as she plays with my watch.
"Not in my eyes."
"What gives you the right to dictate their fate?" Her words are fierce and I can see the anger in her eyes.
"It's just the way things are." I shrug. It was true there was a leader and that leader had followers. People either followed the rules or they went against them.
"Would these other bosses or whatever they're called hurt me?" She swallows and looks to me.
"They would try and I would kill them." Nothing would ever take her away from me again.
Sitting back against the couch she sighs deeply. Twirling her hair she stares out of my windows looking at the busy city beneath us. That was something I always did when I was deep in my thoughts. The world seemed so big and chaotic making all the problems I had seem simple and minute.
"Jose was my Ex-boyfriend. We grew up together in Seattle. We were great friends. Had play dates since we were kids. Hell he was the first boy to see me naked since we bathed together as infants," She lets a distorted chuckle. I just stare knowing she has more to say.
"He... He asked me out our freshman year. I was so happy. We had all of our firsts together. He took me to my very first dance that year. We kissed and I was on cloud nine. Fast forward to our senior year and I was the luckiest girl in the world. I had the amazing boyfriend he was on the football and baseball team. I was just a nerd. I loved to learn. I wasn't ashamed of it. Proms comes around and of course I went with Jose." She takes a deep breath and I see her tighten her face trying to keep her emotions at bay. Gently I grab her hand giving it a small squeeze.
"God I was so stupid. He told me all the right things Christian. He told me he loved me and wanted to marry me. I of course being naïve believed him. I thought I was going to get my fairytale. So I gave myself to him that night. It was awkward and hurt but at the time it was perfect." Laughing she turns towards me crossing her legs Indian style.
"Imagine this… Graduation comes around and little old me Anastasia Steele decides to take on the big city all because of a boy. We came here together. We had an apartment off campus. I was a waitress and he was working at a bar. Things were great our first year here. Then Sophomore year came and he changed." She sighs moving her hair behind her ears.
"He became mean. He would come home and yell about every little thing Christian. If one dish wasn't done I was a lazy shit bag. If the laundry wasn't done I was disgusting. He couldn't even have sex with me anymore because he said it revolted him. I stayed though because when it was all said and done he would apologize. He would say it was work and school catching up to him. I would make excuses up for him. Then one day I walked home to find a naked woman in my kitchen." She sobs and shakes her head as I reach out to her. I was feeling enraged that she was so hurt.
"He had her in our apartment. A place we had so many memories together. I was so devastated. I almost stayed with him because I was so scared to go back to Ray and have him tell me he was right all along. My dad loves me more than anything and he knew leaving with Jose wasn't going to last. He tried to warn me. Of course when I told him what happened he wanted to come down and shoot him himself." She giggles while wiping her eyes. Grabbing her arms I pull her on to my lap. Her legs are straddling my waist and her hands are on my chest. Pushing her hair back I stare into her tearful eyes and kiss her pain away.
"I would never do that." I whisper.
"Everyone knows you mafia men have women on the side." She sits back and gently rubs my face.
"I don't. I only want you."
"You promise?"
"Yes." I grip the back of her neck and crash my lips on to hers. I've waited so long to feel this again. So long to have her in my arms telling me she wants me. That she'll stay with me. Letting my hands roam her tiny body I sit up. Deepening the kiss I lay her back so that I am on top.
"Tell me what you want me to be and I'll be that for you. Tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it." I pant as I stare in to her baby blues. I was at her mercy. I didn't care about my duty to my father's legacy anymore. If she wanted me I'd be there in anyway she'd have me.
"I just want you to cherish me and never hurt me. I couldn't handle it if you did." She moves her hands under my shirt caressing the muscle that lay beneath.
"I promise." I kiss her lips slowly moving down to her neck. Marking my claim on her I remover her shirt. Her skin felt so smooth under my calloused hands. Caressing her breasts I remove her bra. Taking one nipple into my mouth I suck gently. Teasingly I bite down.
"God Christian. Please."
"Please what baby."
"Please take me." Her breathing is rough and I feel myself grow excited at the heat coming from between her legs. Sitting up I remove my clothing before taking her pants off. I smirk when I notice she has no panties on. Maybe she had hoped for this as much as I did. Taking out a condom I unwrap it and slide it on to my erect penis. Looking at her one last time I move her hair from her face.
"Look at me." I tell her.
Lifting her head she stairs into my eyes. I kiss her. It wasn't rough or rushed just a kiss. So delicate and soft. It was my way of letting her know that no matter what happens I'd always be her Christian. The one who came home and took care of her at night. The one who did nothing but cherish her and respect her.
"Are you sure you want this. I won't let you go back after this. If we do this… well sorry to sound barbaric, but you're mine Anastasia." I growl as I take her earlobe into my mouth and softly bite down. Nodding her head she grabs my erection placing me at her entrance.
"I'm sure Christian. I'm yours." Thrusting in to her I close my eyes as I feel her heat surround me. God she felt amazing. Letting her adjust to me I gently move in and out of her body. Wrapping her legs around me she pushes the heels of her feet against my ass and pushes me further in. A strangled moan escapes my lips and I pick up my pace.
"God Ana you're exquisite baby." Flipping us over I slide her down on to me and groan at the pleasure. Throwing her head back she grinds against me. Moving her hips back and forth she place her hands behind her on my knees while bouncing up and down. The sight before me is beautiful. Her perky breast tease me deliciously as they bounce with her every movement.
"Christian I can't hold it I'm so close." She moans as she moves faster. Closing my eyes I throw my head back as I feel the tingling sensation start at my feet. I let out a loud groan as it reaches my stomach and I feel myself let go. Grabbing her hips I slam her down on to me as I pump inside of her. Leaning forward her mouth drops open and a whimper escapes her beautifully plump lips as her juices flow from her.
Breathing heavily she lays her head on top of my chest. That was our first time together and it couldn't have been better. She was amazing truly a sight to behold. I had never felt this way about a woman in my life.
"Ana..." I whispered into the darkness.
"Hmm?" She sleepily replies.
"Thank you for coming back to me." I kiss the top of her head and lay back against my couch. Slowly lifting her off of me I remove the condom. I toss it before going back to Ana and laying down next to her.
"Thank you for allowing me back." She murmurs before falling asleep. As if I had a choice. She could have come back to me years later and still my weak heart would have accepted her with open arms.
So tell me what do you guys think?! How do you think their talk went? It's not going to be easy but this is a fight for you love kind of story. It will be full of great twist and turns but our couple will prevail. Also, one reviewer asked if this is a cheating story absolutely not. I personally don't like cheating with CG and Ana… like at all… so no lol. Please give me your thoughts yet again I appreciate you all 3 -Vi
