Regina stared at the woman in front of her, the woman, that she desperately had wanted gone from her life, just a matter of weeks ago, the woman, who she thought wanted to break her, wanted to take her son away from her, the woman who was now offering up an apology, she was standing at her door, apologising, because she thought, because she knew that Regina was pathetic, for wanting her son, for thinking that she could keep him,when of course, the Saviour would be the best for Henry.
"Miss Swan, I need no apology from you," Regina said sternly, holding onto the door for support, trying, her best, ( although it may not seem that way to Emma, to Emma it looked like wanting not to crush her bad enough to be willing to break her door.) to keep herself calm, to not use magic.
"My.." She shut her eyes, concentrating on not blasting out her rage. "Our son, has to stay with you. It's my decision, he has to, because if he stays here, I can only harm him."
Emma stepped forward, wanting to somehow comfort the mayor, but Regina had her head held high, and she felt as though moving any closer would get her reduced to ashes, so instead she tried what she thought to be a sympathetic and knowledgeable smile.
"Regina, he doesn't want to, I don't want to, but we spoke, and I think it would be, possible, if he were still to see you, once or twice a week." Her face etched into a look of desperation and almost sorrow, Emma kept her hands at her side, waiting for the reaction, looking down at her feet, somehow feeling foolish, but there wasn't one, Regina was standing there, her angry stance had fallen, her eyebrows knitted together in confusion. The Sheriff was allowing this? She slammed the door and turned around and leant against it, her body slumped and fell down, being dragged down by her weight, she wanted Henry here, desperately, but the hurt, the pain, the nightmares, he can't see that. Her chest ached, wanting him to stay here, but knowing that the reason he couldn't help her, was because he wouldn't be able to. She brought her hands up to her chest as she felt herself collapse, using a hand to muffle the sobs, muffle her pain.
Regina slammed the door in Emma's face, she snapped her head up, what the hell? I mean, She was under the impression Henry wanting to stay here was good? What was the former queen doing to herself, punishing herself? She sat down in her confusion, against the cold steps, head in her hands, what did this woman want from her, to jail her own mother?
"Regina..I.."Her words trailed off, could she hear her crying? She can't be. This was the Evil Queen we're talking about, right?
"Regina, are you… are you okay?"
Crap, was the one word running through Regina's mind, she heard her, she pushed herself away from the door, leaning against the wall next to it, trying to gather herself, what was she supposed to say? Did she want Miss Swan to leave? No thoughts came to her mind, she wanted to be alone, but she wanted someone to tell her it was okay, that stupid vulnerable side of herself for so many years she pushed down. The one she desperately needed to suffocate now, or didn't, she still didn't know what to do or say to Emma. Someone who knew her vulnerabilities, someone who she might be willing to show them to.
No, you mustn't think like that, mother would hate it, but mother is dead, said that tiny voice of hers in her head, the one that would dare to defy her own mother, the one that dared defy herself,
And before she could stop herself, a tiny "No," escaped her lips, between her sobs, she pulled her knees in closer, not wanting herself to break into tiny little pieces and fall apart.
"Do you, want me to come in?" Emma spoke reluctantly, but couldn't let Regina hear it in her words, if this was the way a war was to end, so be it.
Regina shook her head, her hair falling in front of her face, realising no one could see her, she let out a muffled "No." which she desperately wanted to take back and lock away in a room somewhere in this mansion, the door quietly opened, a confused Emma behind it, closing it gently she let her eyes glance around the room looking for her and knelt down to where Regina was slumped down on the floor, holding herself in her arms.
"I..I don't need you here." Regina managed to stifle out, trying desperately to stop herself from crying. Pathetic.
"Regina, you need someone here." She said softly, inching herself closer, trying not to set the Mayor off, but Regina pulled away, shuffling, more like.
"Don't you have something to do, Sheriff?" Regina spat out, glaring up at her, with such hurt in her eyes, Emma didn't quite understand what it was supposed to tell her.
Emma took a deep breath in, and carefully, held her hand out, almost asking for permission, to wrap it around Regina's arm when no response came she held it lightly,her thumb making small circle shapes as a trace across the sleeves, trying, for one of the few times she ever thought she would, to comfort the shaking woman who was broken and laid out in front of her.
"Well, If I'm supposed to help this goddamn town helping the mayor might be a good start."
Regina tried to stare right at her, she tried to give her a look to tell her to back away, but her eyes fell to the floor, she was too tired. Too tired to give fight anymore.
"What happened?" Emma spoke softly, trying not to agitate the powerful woman in front of her,
"You were fine, for you anyways, a moment ago."
Regina sniffed holding back her tears she lifted herself back up from the floor, shaking off Emma's hands and regaining her stance. She wiped away her tears, her face contorted looking down when her hands were wet with them. Pathetic. She snapped her head back up holding it so very high, chin up, eyes now glazed over with a cold stare that she was used to giving people.
"Show yourself out." Was all she could say, before she spun herself back around and keeping composed, mind, holding onto the banister, with all the grip she had, almost making a mark in the wood.
Pathetic, she heard the word again in her head and let go, her eyes glazing over again, her heart glazing over, with a coldness that allowed herself to ignore all emotion, and she glided up the stairs.
She felt a cold hand grab at her wrist and she tugged away, twisting herself around to see Swan, angry at her, her face moulded into an awful shape staring right through her, she felt it jam right through her chest and almost made her step back. But she kept her composure, as always.
"Why haven't you left Miss Swan? I recall politely asking you to leave." This made Emma's eyes pierce harder, trying to shed Regina of her dignity, no doubt.
"No."
Regina stepped forward, her usual threatening stance, her nose an inch away from Emma's.
"Excuse me?"
Emma stood up straight then, her eyes relinquishing Regina from the hold they had on her.
"No. I won't leave, not until we get through whatever the hell that was, and whatever the hell this is," She motioned her hand towards regina, trying to explain, "And I'm stubborn as hell incase you hadn't noticed"
Regina kept her face where it was, her body following, trying to make emma squirm, and for what it's worth she could feel it,
"Well that would be apparent considering your lineage, but I am going up to my office and for your safety, I strongly suggest you leave. Immediately." Regina turned and kept making her way up the stairs when she heard the soft footsteps behind her she snapped around.
She turned to see emma folding her arms, ready for anything, as it would seem.
"Miss Swan I." She was cut back by Emma standing up another step.
"I suggest, Madam mayor, you carry on because you will eventually have to show some emotion at some point and I'm not leaving until you actually show some sign of being a human being." She raised her eyebrow, cocking her head to one side, showing her resilience, Regina growled, Slowly turning back and making her way up the grand stairs. Emma smiled to herself, she wasn't done. Maybe she could help. Maybe, this evil queen, could step down from that, and thinking on this, by not blowing Emma up when she opened the door, maybe, she already has.
She sat down,cross-legged on the couch, watching Regina at work, it was well out of working hours, but Regina seemed to keep herself busy. Paperwork, some signing, noting down names, filling and then unfilling, again with the signing and the cycle repeats itself.
Regina could feel her eyes on her, digging into her, she wasn't going to reveal herself to her, it was a plan, for her to know her weaknesses, she'd begin to snoop around, maybe look for something to hold against her. Eventually after an hour of having Swan dig deep into her, her eyes never faltering, regina stood up and opened a cabinet, and two glasses, pouring the alcohol into the both of them, she shoved one under the sheriff's nose. Emma just stared up at her, her eyebrows in a race to reach her hairline.
"What's this?" She accepted the drink and bleakly gazed down at it for a moment, remembering why she was here, she let her eyes return to meet Regina's.
"It's good, better than what you buy at the convenience store, no doubt" Regina lifted her drink to her lips, taking just the smallest of sips.
"I'm not cruel enough for you to stay here and watch as I drink, it's rather good, you know."
"Thanks" Emma spluttered out while Regina sat back down, the first conversation, she realized, shed had since she locked herself here. It was nice enough, comforting, better than being glared at for over an hour, that she wanted to pursue it.
"How long do you intend on staying here, Miss Swan? Because it is fast enough approaching a time of which i should sleep." Emma pursed her lips, trying to come up with an answer.
"I don't know" Was the only one that made sense. "I mean, like I said, until you show some emotion, some promise. For Henry's sake, I'd like to know you can feel something. You're like a machine, for the last hour, methodically going through your day. It's really freaking me out."
Regina smiled, what was meant to be sarcastic, but Emma didn't see that.
"That's how I've always been Miss Swan, and like I said, what do you plan on doing when it's time for me to sleep? Do you really think I'd be so accommodating as to let you watch me sleep? I can see who's going to be freaking who out now."
Emma let her eyes fall to the glass she'd already half drained. She shrugged her shoulders and glanced back up at the mayor, this was familiar, the way she was speaking wasn't as harsh. She was used to it. She could handle this side of her.
"I dunno. I'll find away to kit out though. Maybe It'll help." At that, the former Queen nearly spat out her drink.
"You think you'll help by sleeping on the floor?" She stood up and tried to push past Emma, but she was quicker than she thought.
"Um, yes actually, someone like you isn't seriously telling me you find it easy to sleep, after what's been happening?" Regina let out a breath, of what she thought to just be stress but Regina saw it more as acceptance, if she tried to hurt this woman, maybe even kill her to silence her, Henry would never forgive her, Maybe even she, herself, the part of her she wanted to not be evil anymore, wouldn't forgive herself either.
"Actually no, I sleep just fine Miss Swan." Which to Regina, she thought was true, she never remembered what happened at night when she woke up, not until recently anyways, she had to find a way to get Swan to leave, but considering she drank a lot already ( a full glass) then maybe she'd succumb to the drink before Regina would fall to the darkness that would come with sleep.
"Well, I certainly hope you brought something for yourself, because the only thing you can borrow is bedding." Emma smiled and followed Regina out of her office.
"Why do you have more than one guest bedroom?" Emma could practically hear the eyes that rolled into the top Regina's head.
"It's a mayor's mansion." Was all she could get out, while laying down a blanket for Emma and a single pillow on the floor, after Emma protested as to just staying over in the next room. When Regina Nearly let slip with magic as to why, but she managed to refrain herself. Emma simply replied with 'I need to see it for myself', and since they left, she has been pondering what the it is.
Emma's eyebrows folded in on each other, Regina was being extremely silent, she was refraining from snapping back at her.
"You can sleep there," Regina coldly stood back up and Emptied out a set of pyjamas from her walk-in wardrobe, "I'm going to go get dressed, assuming if you have trained your pa-" She stood up straight, she had to be kind for him, he hated this. "Trained your magic well enough, you can use it to gift yourself something to wear?" She spat out the word magic, snarling at it. Emma's only response was a little nod, and she sat down on top of the blanket that had been laid out for her. Maybe she could use magic, if she could try, but then she remembered the way Regina had despised using the word but had corrected herself even though Henry was at the apartment. Regina was trying and she felt as if using magic would be insulting, besides she hadn't learnt much, other than magic that involved a lot of self-defense. She was still in the same position, thinking when Regina walked back into the room in a pair of silvery-blue silk pyjamas, and even with all makeup removed, she walked into the room owning it, looking stunning, even in pyjamas.
"Well Miss Swan, i certainly congratulate you on trying so very hard on processing my leaving words." She chuckled as she slid under the covers, turning off the lamp, Emma just nodded, not saying anything, wondering why regina was being so… off, for an evil queen.
When Regina let the room fall into darkness, she knew that she was in for a sleepless night, because if she let herself succumb to her unconscious, she knew what would happen, nightmares would come, she would wake up, back to being alone, only that the awful Sheriff would be next to her, asking what happened, knowing her weakness, she can't sleep, not with her there.
But still, at around 4 am, she couldn't fight back anymore, and her eyes unwillingly drifted to a close, and she fell into her fears.
"Regina dear, you must put on a more suitable attire, we will have guests arriving shortly, and I would be ashamed to announce you dressed like lower class." Cora, glided across the room, owning it, her face carved into disappointment, she lifted her chin, forcing her to look at her.
"Don't make me ashamed, dear." Regina nodded, what else could she do? If she didn't change Cora would use magic to punish her, or lock her away again.
"I'll send in one of the servants to dress you." Cora glided out of the room, pausing to look at the dress hanging for her.
"You need to look beautiful for me, Regina dear, there are suitors coming, much better suitors." She left the room as the doors made a soft clang behind her, Amable entered, shuffling along, lifting the dress as she came in toward the room.
"I can dress myself, you don't have to be here." Amable bowed her head,
"Forgive me, but I was told I had to make sure you would be in this dress," Amable shuffled away, knowing of Cora's magic she most certainly feared Regina for it.
"What's your name?" She wasn't threatening, she merely asked. Regina finally turned towards the maid, she was certainly beautiful, and a little courageous as it would seem.
"Amable." Regina nodded, turning towards the mirror, she had seen her around their home a few times, she always wore this faded little orange ribbon, it complemented her olive skin, she nodded to let Amable undress her.
"Well, Amable, if you don't talk back to mother, you should be able to last here. I would like that."
"Forgive me, but we shouldn't be speaking, it isn't condoned." Regina began undressing herself, she was never comfortable with other people doing it for her, she felt had no control.
"Amable, if I wish to speak to you I may, but thank you, I can see you staying here a while, you obey the rules well. I can dress myself as I said however, stay here until I am, I should wish to talk more and if you leave whilst I am not dressed, mother would know." Amable nodded and simply stood by Regina's side.
"Do you like how you live, as a servant?" When amable stared at her blankly, Regina turned to look at her, still changing herself. "You can talk freely to me, when we are alone, I'm not like my mother." Amable nodded and spoke softly.
"I am treated quite fairly by most, and even if I do not like the harshness of Royal words, it is my place, and I should like to keep it." Regina nodded, considering this, it felt like a well-rehearsed answer.
"I meant, when you sit with your family, are you happy?" Amable stiffened at this question, rather noticeably, wondering why she was being made a friend.
"I have not got a family to go to, that is why I am a servant, to get by, but yes, when I am at my home I am happy." Regina pulled on her dress and gestured for her to help.
"Amable I want an answer of a friend, why are you happy?" Amable began helping her into her dress,
"I am happy because I have my life, and good meals, and a bed at night, and maybe I am happy now because you are kind." Regina nodded, and turned to meet Amable
"Are you my new dress maid?" Amable nodded, turning to continue.
"That is what I was told for the time being." Regina turned to hold her hands.
"How old are you?" Amable stiffly held her hands back, smiling.
"14." Was as straight an answer she could give.
"Well, I suppose I have a new friend the same age as me, what mother wants she shall have." grinning, she pulled in Amable for a hug, the maid obliged and wrapped her arms around her,
"Thank you."
A loud burst open from the doors made them bounce back.
"What is this?" Cora flew into the room waving angrily at amable.
"Mother she didn't do anything I just - !" Cora waved her hand to silence her,
"What were you doing?" She turned on Amable, taking a step forward, forcing her a step back.
"Mother it wasn't her, please don't harm her!" Turning back to Regina, she used her hand this time to silence her, with magic.
"I said enough Regina! Now what was going on, You don't honestly think you can befriend my daughter could you?" She forced Amable five foot high up against the wall, holding her by the neck with her dark magic Amable now letting hopeless tears sliding down her cheeks.
Regina tried to scream out for her, wanted to help her, she ran out in front of mother but she was slammed back full force into the desk, Cora wasn't going to use her hands to keep her back, she was in the force of her magic and it was controlling her. The pain of the fall forced more tears down Regina's face, but as she looked up at Amable, who was staring at her, so fearful and frail, grasping at her neck, legs dangling.
"Don't ever defy me!" Regina tried to scream for Amable, but she could only mouth the words 'I'm sorry' As Amable stiffly nodded, staring blankly at her as her body became limp and Cora let it fall back to the floor.
"Now dear, clean yourself up and come meet us back down at the hall," waving her hand to let Regina speak again. Regina nodded, running to Amable, who was on the floor as soon as her mother left, but she wouldn't respond, she couldn't find a pulse, nothing, as she sat there, with the friend her mother killed, she took her ribbon, she couldn't let mother kill her completely.
She woke with a start, racing out her bed and down into the kitchen, wiping her tears from her face she grabbed herself a glass of water, sitting on the couch grasping at it she let the sobs hit her, she cascaded into tears silently rocking herself, she placed the glass on the table, and wandered off into her study. Opening one of the drawers she pulled out a ribbon, among other things, she walked around back into the bedroom, not noticing Swan was gone she wrapped the ribbon over and over in her hands, trying to hold back her sobs she let out a weak "I'm sorry Amable." And continued to cradle herself under her covers.
"Who's Amable?" Emma said, coming out of the en-suite, turning off the light as she scrambled next to Regina on the bed. She merely let her sobs overwhelm her, If she didn't now, Emma would ask later, when she wasn't ready.
"She was a friend." Regina fell into more tears, gushing out nonsense, holding the ribbon close to her chest for sanity.
"Was that hers?" Emma asked softly, edging closer to Regina, holding her hands out for her, and she simply pulled herself up and let Emma comfort her, sobs soaking her shirt.
"I took it from her, when she died." Emma slowly wrapped her arms around the broken queen.
"Can… can I ask how she died, did.. did you..?" Her head snapped up from against her shoulder.
"Do you really think that I would do that? You see me as that monster?" Emma sat, taken aback, she gawked at her, not knowing what to say. Sniffling, Regina sat back up on her own leaning against the headboard.
"I wasn't the one that killed her. My mother was and only because she was my friend." She stared down at the ribbon intertwined with her fingers.
"Amable was kind and beautiful and she didn't deserve her fate." Emma nodded.
"Is that why you were yelling for her in your sleep?" Regina stared up at her shocked.
"What?" Emma's head fell, she didn't know?
"You were moving around, talking about your mother and then you let out her name, but then you stopped, so i figured it was nothing." Regina nodded, silent tears falling down her face.
"I dreamt about her death." Emma moved closed to her, holding her arms out to hold her, Regina shuffled into them but she didn't know why.
"Why are you here?" She asked after long moments of being rocked back and forth, Emma let out a sigh.
"Because you're dealing with this on your own and you shouldn't have to. Everyone thinks you're so awful and evil and I won't lie, you probably were, but this Regina, can't be left alone."
"This Regina is weak." Emma held her head up, holding her.
"No, this regina is human." She rocked her back and forth "And that's okay. Do you want to tell me?" Regina nodded, still crying.
"This was hers, before I knew her she wore this every day. She was my new dress maid, she only lasted a day." She turned her body to face hers, nuzzling herself into Emma's neck, crying letting out the harshest sobs.
"She was helping me change, and.." Her voice broke and she cried even harder, pulling emma in, scrabbling to not let the space fade between them, her chest ached with her sorrow and she felt Emma's hands stroke her hair, rocking her softly.
"Mother came in after I hugged her, she killed her with magic. I stopped screaming because she used it to stop me speaking. She killed her. She killed her." Regina broke down then if she hadn't already.
"Hey, it's okay she's not here." Emma's hands swept through her hair, trying to comfort her, when after an infinity Regina stopped her sobs she pulled away.
"I'm sorry." Emma held her hands out holding Regina by the arms.
"It's okay, it's why I was here, but It's already five so you need to sleep." Regina shook her head her eyes wide.
"No, No! I can't don't make me!" Emma slowly pushed her down pulling the covers over her.
"I'll wake you. I promise," Regina sniffled holding back more tears and again unwillingly shut her eyes and drifted off to sleep to the sound of Emma's breathing, to the soft touch of her hands flowing through her hair, to the warmth of her body next to her.
