Sorry for the wait. X
Enjoy!
She started in the tub, and she realised that yes, Regina was right, and she was thanking whatever gods that were up there that the dream she had, or whatever mind fuckery there was going on with some witch woman, was at least real, and that Regina knew that it was.
And maybe, she was starting to enjoy these dreams even if the meaning of them or why they were happening was messed up. Even if it's all a manipulation, she was succumbing to it pretty fast. Having too much fun being caught up in someone else's spiral of lies. She hoped Regina was too.
And shit, she kinda has to speak to regina and apologise because she screamed at her and didn't hear her out. She has to tell her how she feels, and then they'll defeat this sorceress together.
So yeah, that's what she's got to do.
"Emma." She almost whispered her name when she opened the door.
"I had to come here, like now." Regina's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as a form of response.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled. I'm just sick of another thing coming in to my life. Storybrooke is crazy and I should have known that before I got angry at you. I'm sorry that I did. And I wanted to tell you" at this she raised her hand to stop Regina's response already forming on her lips. "That even though it's irrationally crazy, I've fallen in love with my mother's enemy. But I have."
And just like the first night when all of this started, Regina slammed the door in Emma's face.
She slumped against the wall, this could not be happening, she wouldn't let it, so instead of allowing Emma and her idiot self from bargain back in again she locked the door, she magically transported Emma back home. And let herself truly sob, felt her heart break, because Emma loved her. And if she allowed herself to feel anything back, well.. Her love was poison.
Love was weakness, was it not?
Emma was a weakness of hers and she had told herself that it was for Henry.
That was why she had saved her and her insufferable mother from the enchanted forest.
That was why she had allowed Emma in, she had told herself for Henry.
But if she loved Emma at all, it would be.. Catastrophic.
She had killed people
She had murdered and tortured and threw fireballs at villages and not even blinked.
And someone had the audacity to say that they loved her.
Henry she could understand, she was his mother, but right now he didn't care much-if at all- for her so why would she say that she loved her.
Because she isn't innocent.
She's a monster.
She doesn't deserve any love.
Her mother showed her that she can't be loved by anyone she had that love taken away from her, her mother had shown her that love can be ripped right out of a person's chest and crushed into dust and dropped on the floor, their eyes cold and unblinking, the heat being torn from their chest, the breath stolen from their lips. Her mother had showed her that love is weakness.
But then; love again.
So could she allow Emma Swan to waltz into her life and take her heart?
Would Emma Swan crush her heart and show her that love is weakness just like her mother had.
Was Emma even capable of such a thing?
Would Emma grow dark if she loved Regina?
Did she even love all of Regina? Did she love the dark and sick magic in her veins that coursed through her and through her heart.
And then she laughed, because really, how could anyone love someone with a black heart, hers was the colour of coal, of destruction, of what was left after flame had licked at life and crushed hearts and tortured and died inside.
Her heart was black.
So was Snow White's.
But never, could she let anyone do the same to Emma.
No one can turn the saviours heart dark, she wouldn't allow it.
Not even herself, she didn't trust that this was strong enough to keep Emma at a safe distance away from the darkness that was inside of her, and the darkness that so frequently outside of her too.
So she would push Emma away.
Because it was what she could do best.
What an Evil Queen, which was all that she was, would do.
She just had to find the darkness, the cold heart inside of her, a place without love, so that she could find the strength to do it.
She had to take her heart out, like her mother, because really wasn't that the best way to eliminate her pain? Just place it in a box and lock away the key.
She wouldn't forget about it though. She would just wait for when a time arose as for when she would need it. Emma couldn't be the one to return it to her, because her heart was black.
So why, when she reached into her chest, fingers enclosed around the frantically beating organ in her chest that was always so empty, beating with a dull, hollow echo, could she not pull it out of her chest. Not without trying of course, she tugged and pulled and it hurt she bucked to her knees tears making their paths down her cheeks.
Because loving Emma Swan was dangerous as well, somehow, this woman had managed to hurt her physically as well as emotionally.
As she felt her body sinking to the cold floor, crashing slowly and without grace, she thought of daniel.
How had Emma swan hurt her more than his death did? Because Emma was alive and well.
Her mind drifted to the sorceress Gold had talked about. She had to know her future would get better, this woman was a hope in her life though the sheriff seemed determined to crush it.
She scrambled to her feet, she was a queen once this was ridiculous.
With poise, she stood magnificently, if she was in front of the peasants of the town she ruled then they would certainly fear her in this moment, but she had to get to the future, had to see.
She tried to remember the incantations and the emotion behind the need to see your future in the spell, she tried directing her thoughts to an unknown sorceress, but yet again, she failed, slamming her hands down on the desk, and suddenly, she collapsed on the desk, not feeling any pain, just swift blue smoke enveloping her.
She lifted her eyes, wisps of blue just leaving her. She felt the cool earth beneath her, fingers trying to grip at the ground so she could find a solid bearing, failing as they slid through the sand. She pushed herself up off of the sand, brushing sand off her clothes. She looked up at the almost white sky above her, vaguely aware of the crashing waves, she turned to meet them, feeling slightly dizzy, she ignored it, feet already swiftly moving to take her to the tide.
And then she stopped abruptly, because there, was Emma Swan. Goddamit did this woman love plaguing her dreams. A voice in her head told her she should meet the woman who was gazing into the distance, she tried to slowly bring herself to meet Emma's gaze but saw nothing.
Correction, Emma saw nothing.
Emma saw right through her.
Literally right through her, because even though she frowned when she looked in her direction, Regina turned, because Emma had never looked more worried, and as she turned she saw herself, though she watched her closely, her steps were lighter, she had laugh lines at the edges of her eyes, though nothing was happening right now to increase them, infact worry lines were being etched across her face, as she stepped aside, not wishing to be walked right through, she realised this was the future, she looked older, yes but lighter. She wondered just how that would happen.
"Hey," she was pulled out of her thoughts by Emma's slightly shaky voice, which was talking to her future self, who had her arms in her own.
Huh, well that's certainly a new development.
She watched as the conversation went on.
"Hey."
"She's safe?" What who needs to be safe?
"She's with your mother, along with Henry. They said they'd look after them until it's time to go."
Tears were streaming down each of their faces, and it was hard to ignore the way they watched each other. Closely, intently, and.. Loving?
"So, we're really going through with this? I don't want to leave her for long, it's only a week right?" Emma was flying questions around while future regina lifted a hand to cup her cheek, wiping tears away with the pad of her thumb.
"She'll be fine Emma, we have to go soon though yes, your parents are more than capable, they've had Neal and are used to babies screaming them awake." Who was she talking about, why was she letting a baby of all things be in the care of Snow White?
"I know, I just, don't want to leave her so soon, It's been barely a year. She's not even a year old Regina, I just.. What if it won't work? What if we mess it all up?" Future regina sighed.
"Emma, Rumplestiltskin is never wrong. What happened after Cora is still hazy, you can't shuffle through the memories, so I think it already has. It will work." Emma took in a deep, shattery breath, closed her eyes and leaned against her, grounding her, over her shoulder she looked out to the cold sea.
"I know, it's just." She was cut off by a press of lips to her own, Earning wide-eyes from Regina.
"I know. But we have to go now, they'll all be fine" Emma nodded, pressing their foreheads together, interlocking their fingers.
"For Corinna?" Regina nodded, pushing their lips together once more.
"For our two children, Henry and Corinna."
OOOOooOooOOooOHHHHHHH.
Review?
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