7
Ianto was having a lay down, one of his heads.
Hadn't had one in a while and he was mentally going through the food he had eaten in case it was a dietary change.
The yelling and screaming of the older children was muted as they played on the green and Ton was silently playing in the kitchen in his special high chair where playdoh was being summarily eaten.
Bets was so glad she found that recipe for edible dough as her wee cherub shoved another green mouthful in and hummed.
Ianto sighed and rolled over, trying to find a comfortable angle for his throbbing head when he heard the dull hum of the drone taking off.
"Oh god" he moaned, rubbing his temples as he cursed John.
"Hold on Berty!" Babbit crowed and Ianto sat bolt upright with horror, then he was running out past the high chair and a shocked Nainny and into the courtyard where Bethy had her tongue between her teeth, piloting the drone as Babbit stood with his hands up to block the sun while he shouted at the lizard on board.
"Well done man!"
"Oh my god!" Ianto gasped, "Who said you could do that!"
Babbit turned and blinked.
"MY lizard. MY drone" he pointed out, "I didn't think I needed to ask permission for my own stuff."
"Babs, the lizard is not stuff, he's a living creature who has never been in the air before" Ianto yelled as he ran to stand under the drone, What if he …"
Bert jumped and Babbit screamed as the blades whirled.
How he managed to fall between them is something Ianto will never know but as the lizard landed on his head with a heavy thump Ianto knew one thing.
The bloody drone was grounded until further notice.
Babbit was wailing as Ianto stormed back into the house and Jack was frozen, he and Conner coming in through the front with groceries to see the drone in one hand as a lizard sat on his head.
"Don't even fucking ask" each word was punctuated with a thrust of his head while the lizard calmly poked tongues at them as he was thrust back and forth as well.
"Babe?" Jack said Ianto stormed past and as he watched the lizard slowly turn its head to stare back at him with a look of triumph. An orange hunk of plastic was hanging down the back of Ianto's head and both men looked at each other with open gapes.
John came in with a howling Babbit dragging him by the wrist and Jack hooked the child back as John went to speak to Ianto.
Things were muted, just Ianto's dull low tones then John's soft squeaking, then a dull thud.
"Shit" Connor whispered, "Did Ianto just bust a cap in his arse?"
The two men giggled as they tried to listen.
Then John yelled.
Jack powered down the hall to find John holding Ianto in his arms, looking at Jack with open horror as Ianto moaned.
"What happened!" Jack demanded as he lifted Ianto and carried him to the bedroom.
"He was pissed about Bert flying or something and then he sort of went still, paled and then bam!" John said, smacking his hands together and Ianto moaned again, wincing at the sound.
"One of your heads babe?" Jack asked softly, "Did you have your blood pressure pill this morning?"
One eye opened to glare at him and Jack smiled weakly in apology, "Come on baby, let's get you settled.
Babbit was waiting for word and didn't like what was coming.
"Bert was flying?" John asked softly and Babbit sighed as he began his long winded rant.
A rant than ended with "But he had Action Man's parachute on!"
Jack gaped, looked at John then at Babbit and then face palmed as Connor's giggles started again.
Oh god.
Their son was a little horror.
