FIFTY SHADES OF SLYTHERIN

Chapter One

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot of this fanfic. If I was JK Rowling, I'd be publishing at Scholastic instead of this fanfiction website.

oOo

Hermione Granger felt like an eleven year old again – in a good way. Auror training was nearly done, she was newly engaged: her life had taken a grand turn after the Final Battle, if you can tell. Gone was the bushy-haired, know-it-all bookworm (well, the latter part still applied) from Hogwarts. The "new Hermione", as she had so cleverly rechristened herself, was ready to take on the world!

*APPLAUSE*

Enough for introductions, you know her story. Hermione Granger (soon to be Weasley) was on cloud nine that day. Well, the former part of the day, anyway. Until she decided, paperwork be darned, she was going to celebrate her good fortune and go home early. The due dates were next week, rather too soon for her liking, though... ah Granger, remember your "new" self? Nothing could go wrong today, and she wasn't going to mess it up.

With that thought in mind, Hermione packed her purse (magically expanded though, of course, to be able to carry about five books and twenty documents) and left the Auror office. She quietly hummed to herself, smiling at everything she saw, including, one PArticularly Nasty/Slutty Yoda-look-alike Parkinson, who scowled back at her, possessively gripping the arm of the unfortunate new man beside her.

Within a few minutes she was Apparated back to the flat she shared with her fiance, walking into their living room. "Ron-ald," she sang, dumping her stuff on the couch. "I'm home honey!"

No response. That's odd, Hermione thought. I swear I just saw his car out there... Maybe he Flooed to a friends place, yes, that must be it. She settled back onto the loveseat and whipped out an ever-present novel from her bag. A good story could make up for anything, after all.

Suddenly, a few chapters into the book, the bedroom door creaked open. A giggle escaped the room, running Hermione's blood cold. Ron wouldn't...

But that tiny sliver of hope was smashed to pieces once she heard his familiar voice reply, "Until next time, love." Then, as if to further mock her, the sound of a zipper being pulled up followed.

OH. MY. GOD. Hermione thought numbly. OH MY GOD. How did I not-

But curiosity, for once, escaped her, to be replaced by red hot, boiling, anger.

Ronald was dead. In fact, if thoughts could kill, he'd have had to be some sort of zombie by now.

Frozen in the seat, brain numb with pain, she began to plot ways for him to die, each one wilder than before. I could rip his giant, ugly, nose off his stupid, cheating face, set it on fire and stick it up his arse. While tap dancing on his chest. Or I could-

Her gruesome train of thought was interrupted by the hypothetical victim in question walking into the room, pulling a girl into his chest, and kissing her. He looked rather rumpled, but was smiling – THE BASTARD WAS HAPPY ABOUT CHEATING ON HER. He didn't even notice his fiancee sitting right in front of them, instead continued to snog the slag's brains out.

Hermione, steam coming out of her ears at this point, cleared her throat loudly.

Almost comically, Ron whirled around, ears scarlet, eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets, spluttering, "What- I- no I didn't do anything- this isn't what it looks like-" Immediately he shoved the girl off him, as if he could hide her.

Hermione's eyes narrowed considerably. She briefly contemplated what would cause him the pain at the moment. Realizing she was still holding her book, she hurled it at his face. Pride and Prejudice, being a hardcover original copy, easily broke Ron's oversized nose, landing in a heap at his feet. The witch next to him, the nerve of that wench, pressed closer to him, about to caress his broken feature.

Hermione jumped to her feet, ready to give the "couple" (what a horribly general term it is, she thought maliciously) what they deserved, pushed a finger to Ron's chest and began her speech. "You- Ronald Weasley, are a cheating, lying, good-for-nothing, despicable bastard who I truly regret ever meeting – I have never met anyone I hated so much. I'd rather see Voldemort than see you right now – I really hope you get struck by lightning right now and rot in hell forever." Out of breath, she turned to the woman trying to hide behind him.

"And you, I don't even know who you are, but you're a dirty slut just by the look of your stupid face. Do humanity a favor and use birth control at least, well, maybe you're already immune to sperm, I could imagine." The girl gasped in outrage and, most possibly fear (Hermione's wand was still at her throat), and dashed out of the apartment. Both Ron and Hermione watched her go. Hermione scoffed in vindinctive fury, then unleashed her final word to the man beside her.

"Now, I don't know why you just can't keep your tiny prick inside your pants, but you should be happy right now, you are now free to go sleep with whoever you want! I am done with this place, I am done with your lies, and I am especially done with you! Ronald, we are over-"

Her now ex-fiance interrupted, panicked. "Wait, no Mione, think this through. This was a mistake – she was a mistake – I love you, I don't care about her!"

Hermione was silent for a moment. On the outside it appeared she might have been thinking about his words, but inside she was fuming – she was deciding whether she should hex him or rant at him. In her case, both were pretty dangerous scenarios.

However, Ron took it her sudden quiet as forgiveness somehow, and foolishly asked her, "Well then, now that that's over, how about a dinner at Diagon? There's a new place I've-"

He never finished his sentence. In a matter of seconds, he was bound, paralyzed, and being kicked in the groin area. Only the latter was physical, but hurt like hell. And, he couldn't do anything about it.

Hermione was almost literally seeing red. Both her previous ideas had come true, and now she was screaming at her ex.

"-what? You think this is nothing? Or you thought, maybe, I wouldn't find out? Or, I wouldn't care? Well, I do care, you horrible – you horrible – oh, there isn't even a word bad enough for you! I've always been loyal, always, I would never dream of touching another man – but you seem fine with going at it with a bunch of sluts! And you don't even care! Do you even know what today is? It's our two-year anniversary is what it is! And you decide to celebrate it with some slag! I hate you, Ronald! Do you understand me? I HATE YOU!"

Now, Ron only heard about a third of her screaming fit, partly because she was near hysterics, and partly because she was still kicking his balls. When she released him, his lower half remained rather numb.

Hermione, still in a rage, gathered up her purse as quickly as she could without injuring herself, marched out the front door, kicking Ron, who was still huddled on the floor, one more time as she did.

"Now Ronald, don't you dare talk to me again – no, don't you dare ever show your face to me. I am-" she drew in a sharp breath. "-rather distressedat the moment and I will be leaving London," she took another deep breath, now close to tears. "The point is, I don't want to see you. And don't bother looking for me." With that, Hermione Granger stormed out of the apartment, onto the busy street, soon blending in with the crowd.

Her tears went unnoticed among the mass of oblivious Muggles. This won't be too hard, she thought. They won't have a chance. I'll be gone by sunset.

What she didn't realize was that there was one tall, impeccably dressed stranger watching her every move.


A/N Oooooohhh I bet you know who it is... Please review! ;) Anyway first chapter's done, sorry it's short, it is the beginning after all. Don't give up on me please!