"Dave."

"DAVE."

"DAVE!"

Karkat's voice shattered the fragile silence that hung over the room like a thin blanket.

"Get up!"

The troll pulled the blankets off his matesprit, and Dave groaned, curling up into the fetal position. "Just five more minutes, man," he mumbled, pulling his cape over himself.

"No! No five more minutes, 'man'! Get your ass up! It's 12th Perigee's Eve, Dave! YOU were the one who made plans to go see your weird human family! Get up!" He grabbed Dave's cape, pulling him off the bed halfway.

"I'm up, I'm up," the albino protested, sitting up and rubbing his tired red eyes. "Good. I'll make you some coffee," Karkat nodded, leaving the room.

Dave sighed, running his fingers through his white hair and putting on his shades. He got off the bed, yawning and walking into the kitchen.

"Man, what time is it?" Dave grunted, pulling out a chair and sitting down at the table.

"6:30." Karkat responded.

"No wonder I'm so tired!" He muttered, blinking slowly. Warm coffee with a little cream and sugar in it was placed in front of him by a gray hand.

"Drink. I made it just how you like it," Karkat told him. Dave nodded and took a sip, some of it rolling down his chin. He was so fucking tired. "Gross. I can't believe I fell in love with you, you nasty piece of shit," Karkat muttered, getting up from the chair and making some toast. "That's not what you said last night," Dave laughed, wiping his mouth. "Alright, Dave McSmartass Strider." He retorted, his gray face dusted a pale candy red.

When the toast was ready, Karkat put the plate at the table. He sat down with his own toast, which had a disgusting combination of mustard, mayonnaise, and honey. Karkat said it was 'absolutely fucking delicious' and 'a meal fit for a fucking god.'

Except it tasted like shit.

Things like that were just one of the things Dave loved about Karkat. He had these adorable quirks that made him fall more and more in love with him every day.

"Are you gonna eat? I made some for tasteless bulgelickers who hate my fucking delicious sauce," Karkat glanced up from his toast, which had peanut butter and onions on the top. Gross.

"Nah. I don't wanna puke on the plane. That would be really fuckin' gross," the Knight of Time shrugged.

"Suit yourself. Just don't complain about being hungry."

"Okay, mom."

Karkat glared at him. He simply shook his head, sighing.

Dave waited for Karkat to be done, then went into the bedroom to change. "You think my family will think it's weird if I wear this?" Dave asked. "Oh, I don't know. I'd be pretty weirded out if I was a human guardian and I saw my human...relative wearing a fucking cape and red god pajamas. Why don't you just tell them you have fucking time powers and a sword and shit?" Karkat muttered.

"Fine. I'll put on something nice. I'm packing this though."

"What if your strange human lus—family asks if you're into cosplay? Are you gonna say yes? Are you seriously gonna let them think you're that much of a virgin?"

"I'm not a virgin, Karkat. You of all people should know that," Dave teased, digging through his closet.

"Obviously. Do they know you're...whatever sexuality you are?" Karkat asked.

"You mean Bi? No...I haven't told them yet. I know for trolls that's not a problem, but for humans that's kind of taboo. So no, I didn't tell them I have an alien boyfriend, or that I'm a god, or anything," he sighed, removing a black suit with his old record symbol on the right pocket. Nice.

"You're fucked."

"I know. Especially since all my family members are conservative Texans, I'm a little concerned on what they'll say. They insisted I come and see them, though. And I'm not leaving you here," Dave told him, stripping out of his god tier outfit. Karkat stared at him, his gold eyes scanning his human lover's form. God. His body was so cute.

"What do you think?" Dave asked, fixing his red tie, pushing his shades up a bit. "You look hot," Karkat laughed. "Okay. Put on something that looks nice. And please, for the love of god, don't wear your fucking pants around your stomach. It's so ugly. I love you, but please," the albino begged. Karkat rolled his eyes, getting up and looking through his half of the closet. There was actually a nice black suit with his sign on it in the same place as Dave's that he had. Karkat stripped down, and put on his pants hesitantly.

"Babe, here. Let me help," Dave sighed, pulling Karkat's pants down around his waist. "NO!" the troll shouted. "That feels weird! What if my pants fall down?!" He hissed, pulling them back up. "They won't. Look how I'm wearing mine," Dave told him, showing the alien how it was done.

"That's weird!" He muttered. "Just try it. Wearing your pants all high like that's gonna hurt your noo—" "Okay! Okay." Karkat cut him off.

He pulled down his pants, letting them rest on his waist. When he put his shirt and overcoat on, he realized that the pants weren't so bad. They still felt really low, though. "I feel dirty, Dave. Only you should be seeing me with my pants so low," he muttered. "C'mon Kar. It's normal, and perfectly acceptable in human society."

"I'm not a human, Dave. I'm a fucking troll. I always will be. I fucking get it, I have to try and learn to live like goddamn human." He muttered. "May as well paint my fucking skin white, dye my shitty ass black hair, and file down my horns if you want me to assimilate into your shit culture so much!" He snapped.

"Kar, no. That's not what I want at all." Dave lightly rested his hand on Karkat's shoulder.

"Yeah it is. Everyone already thinks I'm fucking weird. Even on Alternia I was a worthless mutant tool!" He grumbled. "You can be you and still dress like a human. I want you to be a troll. I didn't fall in love with a human. I fell in love with a troll, and I get it. You can have your culture, 100%. Looking nice is a universal constant, though. It's just for a little while, ok?" The albino reassured him. Karkat sighed and nodded, relaxing a bit.

"Our flight leaves in five hours. Thankfully, yours truly can just time travel us right there in a fuckin flash. Real fuckin fast, sick like my rap beats. That shit's faster than NASCAR, faster than the speed of light traveling from the—" "Dave."

"What?"

"You're a fucking nerd."

"Thanks."

There was enough time for both of them to pack. Dave always made time. It was about time for them to get going to the airport. When they got there, much quicker than intended, (thanks Dave!), Karkat immediately got uncomfortable.

"Dave. You know I hate crowds. Everyone is staring. I don't think they've ever seen a troll before," he muttered. A bunch of people were giving them weird stares. "It's okay, let's just get our stuff in order and go. I'll just speed things up," Dave smirked. It seemed like Dave's matesprit had made it his job to give the security people as much shit as possible, which was hilarious, at least to Dave. The security agents looked so weirded out, so Karkat just lied and said that his appearance was just a cosplay. Before they knew it, they were on the plane. Karkat put on his seatbelt, which he still thought was weird. He'd never been on a plane, so he was very nervous and grabbed onto Dave's arm tight.

"I like your cosplays! Gray-skinned guy's looks so realistic!" Someone across the aisle told Dave. "They aren't cos—"

"It's not a 'cosplay', you ignorant fucktard. It's how I look," Karkat hissed. Dave snickered, and the guy who'd complimented both of their 'cosplays' rolled his eyes and ignored them. The plane's engine turned on, and the troll looked terrified, grabbing Dave's arm. The albino patted his small hand, telling him it would be okay. "I'm not scared, dumbass!" Karkat muttered. The way he looked said otherwise, but whatever. As the plane started to move across the runway, Karkat screeched. "Fuck this human mode of transportation!"

A flight attendant came and politely told him to quiet down and not say 'fuck', since there were kids on the plane. "Dave, can't you speed this shit up?" The alien hissed. "No way! I love plane rides!" He laughed. "Fuck you!" Karkat muttered. After about an hour in the air, about twenty bags of peanuts, lots of flight sickness pills, ginger ale, coffee, and Karkat muttering in Alternian under his breath, Dave was still having fun. Karkat, on the other hand, was suffering. More than usual.

Dave was excited when they touched down in Dallas. "Ah, I love the smell of racist conservatives, homophobes, and cowboys," the albino laughed. "Just kidding. I love Texas."

"That's the worst fucking thing I've ever heard. The goddamn worst. I think I got a brain tumor just listening to that." Karkat muttered, glancing out the window at the runway below.

"God bless Texas!" Dave said in a fake southern accent. The alien next to him cringed. "I love guns, tits, and 'MURICA!"

"Dave. You're embarrassing me in front of everyone!" the alien hissed, unbuckling his seat belt. The two exited the plane, and the albino carried his and his matesprit's luggage, holding Karkat's hand on top of his suitcase. Karkat's face was flushed, and he didn't make any eye contact Dave.

They got a lot of stares, and someone called them 'gross fags.' Dave just laughed and nodded, commenting on how true it was. He and Karkat left the airport and took a cab to the Strider household.

"We're here. Don't act gay. You're just a friend from school," the albino told Karkat, removing the luggage from the car. "What's sch—" "You're a friend from school if they ask," Dave reiterated. "Ugh. Fine."

Dave knocked on the door, pushing up his glasses. A woman with the same complexion as Dave, minus the albino part, opened the door. "Davey! Hey! Oh my god, you've gotten so big!" The woman hugged him. She had a really strong Texan accent, and Karkat just looked on awkwardly. "Who's this?" Dave's mother asked, looking at Karkat. "He's a friend from school," the boy lied. His mother squinted at Karkat. "Why's he doing cosplay or whatever y'all like to call it? That weird thing where kids dress up as characters and go meet up with other weird kids in costumes?"

"He...really likes cosplaying. He's heading to a con in a while, so..." Dave laughed nervously.

That sounded believable enough, right?

"Okay! Why don't you and your lil' friend come in! It's hot out there," his mom laughed. Karkat and Dave took their bags and went inside. "Where's bro?" the Knight of Time asked. "Oh. You don't know? He's not coming. He got mad because we said he couldn't bring his boyfriend, and so he decided not to come."

"Why couldn't he bring Jake? He's a really nice guy. He probably would've made Christmas like, ten times more sick," Dave laughed. "Because. That isn't how we raised him. He's perfectly aware that his...'homosexuality' isn't allowed in this household. If he wants to be with his boyfriend, he can do it alone."

Dave nodded, feeling a bit sick. Shit. His parents would totally be mad if he came out. "Haha, yeah."

Dave led his matesprit to his old bedroom, sighing happily with nostalgia. They both put their stuff in the room, but Dave's mom came in and took Karkat's stuff to another room. "There's enough room for your friend! You never told me his name."

"It's...Karkat."

"Karkat?"

"He's...Native American."

"Oh. Nice. Anyways, come out and eat whenever you're ready. There's lots of presents under the tree for you!" His mom told him. Dave disliked being away from his boyfriend, and so he went into Karkat's room, locking the door behind him.

The albino crawled onto the bed, pinning his boyfriend down against it. He stared into Karkat's yellow eyes, and leaned down to kiss him softly. Their lips met, and it felt like heaven. Dave could feel Karkat kissing him back, and both of them were blushing softly, knowing they'd get in trouble if Dave's parents discovered what they were doing. Regardless, Dave continued to kiss the alien, enjoying the feeling of his boyfriend's lips against his own.

The Knight of Time ran his tongue across the bottom of Karkat's lip, and the alien opened his mouth. Dave put his tongue into Karkat's mouth, tasting his teeth and rubbing his tongue against his boyfriend's. The Knight of Blood moaned softly, letting Dave explore every inch of his mouth.

He almost wanted to unlock the door and let Dave's mom see how fucking gay they were. Just rub it right in her ugly fucking face that Dave was dating a boy, and that he liked boys (and girls), and that he and Karkat had hot sex and cute makeouts.

The albino pulled away, looking into Karkat's eyes. A strand of saliva connected their tongues, and the alien was a blushing mess. Dave wiped his mouth, sighing happily. Karkat sat up, and the albino fixed his shades.

Dave got off the bed, and waited for Karkat to get himself together. After he snapped out of his daze, the human unlocked the door and came outside, the Knight of Blood following behind. Right as they exited, Dave's mom was standing outside the door, and she asked what they were doing in there.

Karkat and Dave both glanced at each other, blushing softly.

The Knights had a feeling it was going to be a long day.