Chapter 1: Notoriety

"I was quiet, but

I was not blind."

- Jane Austen

Haruno Sakura was a perceptive child- at least that's what they said. Granted, they said a lot of things, but at least that was one of the kinder things. And being the perceptive girl that she was, she noticed from a very young age that her family was not normal- or at least not the normal that most other civilian families looked like.

There were no good morning kisses, no outings to the park, no bedtime stories, and absolutely no birthday celebrations. And nothing highlighted their peculiarity more than family gatherings.

Sakura could not remember a time when she didn't dread the obligatory holiday celebrations where all members of the Haruno clan would congregate.

Gatherings where her Uncle Akio would gaze at her with blatant calculation and slight hostility. Where her aunts, Kaori and Ran would trade side- eyed glances and not- quite whispered speculations. Where her cousins would tauntingly mimic their parent's cruel words. But worst of all- having to see her grandmother, Satomi.

In her younger days, Satomi had been a noble girl, her family part of the Daimyos' court. Her long raven hair and dark eyes lured suitors to her door better than any sea-siren could. But it was Haruno Kurou, the richest silk merchant in Fire Country that finally won her hand. And despite losing her noble title with marriage, Satomi had never lost her sharp arrogance, strict disposition, or obsession with bloodlines.

Sakura was two years old when she first heard the term 'mongrel' and it was term that her grandmother had forever since referred to her as.

It was why the little girl always dreaded festival season. She hated looking into her grandmother's dark eyes and recognizing the revulsion staring back. Or worse- seeing the old woman flinch away from her- like she was a diseased mutt, not even worthy of table scraps.

No, Haruno Sakura's family was not normal. But for all of their distrust, dysfunction, and disgust, the world would never know of it. Because the Haruno clan was nothing if not proud. And to the world, the Harunos were a small, but rich civilian clan- wealthy and reserved.

But despite the Haruno's best efforts, the civilian district loved to gossip. Since the day she was brought home from the hospital it was widely speculated about how the newest Haruno didn't share the midnight black hair that was predominate in her clan…

Kizashi would laughingly tell the customers in his silk shop that his daughter's pink hair was a strange, but beautiful genetic abnormality. But as the cloudy blue of her infant's eyes slowly changed to vibrant green and not Haruno brown, his laughter had dried up. And Kizashi could never quite hide his disdain when he looked at his daughter.

It was the reason why no matter how hard Sakura tried, how well she behaved, how smart she was, the Harunos would never accept her. She was a manifestation of shame, and like all sordid secrets, Sakura was not to be seen or heard.

Sometimes Sakura suspected that her mother tried to shield her from the worst of the family's harassment. But her mother could not fully prevent it when she was too busy dodging accusations herself. At times she wished her mother were a little bit stronger- most of the time, she, like her family just wished for the truth. Because Sakura didn't have to be an adult to know that her mother was hiding something important.

But if Haruno Mebuki excelled in one thing, it was keeping secrets. So Sakura knew that her mother dreaded family gatherings just as much as she did. Because while Sakura had to endure the family's repulsion, her mother had to answer to it.

Sakura knew that once upon a time her mother had been a strong woman. Before Sakura was born she was even a kunoichi of Konoha. But her backbone of steel had slowly wilted away until she was just this husk of a woman. An empty shell that kept secrets buried deep within and warded off vitriol questions and venomous stares with empty blue eyes.

It had been this way for as long as she could remember.

When Sakura was very little she remembered her mother brushing her long pink hair and singing stories about great shinobi legends. Her young mind's eye would imagine the great White Fang and his pack of nin- dogs taking out enemy shinobi, or the Yellow Flash facing off against the nine-tailed fox. And in these imaginings she would be right beside them, defeating any and all foes.

But those days where swiftly cut to an end when her father came home early from his shop one day and heard her mother serenading shinobi as heroes. Sakura could still feel the bite of her father's fingers as he practically threw her from the room before proceeding to scream at her mother about flaunting her indignity.

After that fight her mother kept mostly holed up in her bedroom and all talk of shinobi ended. And as for her father, he spent most of his time his branch of the family's silk shop. Sakura preferred it that way.

After that fight she no longer was allowed to play 'kunoichi' in the backyard and her mother's secret stash of nin- weapons disappeared from the cupboard they were hiding in.

After that fight her father kept her just as cooped up as her mother, vainly hoping the whispers would die down.

And for the most part the isolation did not bother her. Though the little girl longed for a friend, she made due with the books in her father's library. It was through books that she made the friendships, experienced the adventures, lived the freedoms that she yearned to have outside of her bedroom.

It was also through books that she gained a vast amount of knowledge. Random facts, interesting folktales, and the history of noble clans in Konoha were all imprinted on the little girl's mind. For once she read something, it stayed tucked away in her brain forever.

It was on a stormy Saturday when she was five years old and searching through the dictionary that Sakura finally discovered what her grandmother's favorite nickname for her meant:

'Mongrel: a person of mixed descent.'

And because the neighbors' gossip never reached her little ears, it was a term she had trouble reconciling with herself. So, like most small children, she decided to ask her mother.

Sakura rarely bothered her parents. The two adults of her household always seemed to be too engaged in their own personal dilemmas that they rarely had time to engage their precocious daughter. And Her mother always seemed to be withdrawn and tired, while her father's ever-present foul mood was never a pleasant experience.

But occasionally one of the many questions bubbling in her mind would spill over her lips. And asking her mother was always the safer option.

So she closed the dictionary and crept downstairs to her mother's bedroom where she knew she would be was resting. And despite being quiet as a mouse, her mother always knew when she was hovering outside her door.

"Sakura, what is it dear?" Mebuki asked, watching as her daughter slipped inside the doorway.

"Why am I a mongrel?" Sakura questioned from the end of the bed, watching as her mother wrenched herself upright with a gasp.

"Where did you hear that?"

Sakura frowned, "Grandmother calls me it all the time."

Mebuki gestured for her daughter to join her atop the mounds of blankets. And once Sakura was perched atop her bedspread (an uncommon occurrence), she finally spoke, "You are not a mongrel. You are my little flower and I love you so much."

But despite her mother's words Sakura couldn't help but be confused at the conflicting information. "Than why does everyone hate me? Why does father hate me?"

While Mebuki embraced her in a quick hug, Sakura's mind was swirling with even more confusion. But it was a rare occurrence that her mother was affectionate, so she basked in her warm embrace.

"It's not you're fault. They don't hate you," Mebuki answered.

And Sakura desperately wanted to believe her mother- but the piercing look in her grandmother's eyes, the coldness from the rest of the clan, and worst of all- the absence of her father was rather contradictory evidence.

She pulled herself out of her mother's too-thin arms. "You never answered my question- why does grandmother call me mongrel? I'm a Haruno."

"Because you are not a Haruno," the chilling voice of her father answered from the doorway.

Sakura whirled around in panic to face the man in the doorway. And at the sight of her father's furious face trained on her, adrenalin hummed through her veins.

"Sakura, go to your room," her mother ordered, her blue eyes never straying from her father.

"No, let her stay Mebuki. Let the girl really know why the clan will never accept her. Tell her what you did," Kizashi responded, his voice barely above a whisper as he moved towards the pair.

Sakura could feel her mother tense beside her, but didn't dare move a muscle herself.

"Kizashi," Mebuki said, and for the first time Sakura heard her mother's voice ring out like a warning against her father.

Her father's brown eyes narrowed as he stood at the end of the bed. "She is old enough to ask questions, then give her the damn answers! Tell the little bastard what she wants to know!"

Sakura felt her throat uncomfortably tighten. She wanted to gasp, but her father's eyes- so similar to a snake about to strike, cautioned her from bringing even more attention to herself. It was oh so difficult though, because she may not have known what mongrel had meant, but she sure knew what bastard did.

Her eyes darted away from her father's furious brown to her mother's soft blue and saw the horror swimming in them.

Sakura's green eyes looked to her father imploringly, "But I'm your daughter!"

"You are no child of mine," Kizashi practically hissed.

Her stomach muscles tightened and bile burned up her throat at the revelation… but he couldn't be right… couldn't be telling the truth… couldn't… wrong… but the clan… the distrust… the stinging heckles… mongrel

"I don't- I don't understand," Sakura stuttered. She was uncomfortably aware of how tightly her mother's frail hands were gripping her- the bones practically grinding into her own.

Her father switched his gaze from her to her mother. "You are the disgusting product of your mother's hedonistic shinobi lifestyle. You are unworthy of the name that I was beguiled to into giving you. You are a little magpie that snuck into the nest and is destroying the rest of the chicks. "

"She is just a child," Mebuki's normally soft- spoken voice firmly stated.

"Yes, but she is not my child."

Kizashi let out a harsh humorless laugh. "Before we were married I thought the sun and stars shone for you. I ignored my family's warnings about you being a kunoichi and not a proper lady because I was so enamored. I would have forgiven you for anything."

Sakura could feel her mother's diaphragm harshly retracting as she sucked in panicked breaths. She could feel the tremble of her mother's fingers where they clenched around her side. She could even feel her cool breath against her neck. But none of her mother's bodily reactions could compare to her own paralyzed shock as she listened to her father bitterly rant.

"Shinobi, Konoha's pride and joy- the men and women that bring prosperity to the village and protect it from enemies even as great as the kyuubi. I was completely bewitched by you- the feeble orphan that transformed into herself into a deadly and mysterious kunoichi. A woman so brave that she fought in the Great War. But I did not think when I married you that I was inviting a viper into my home."

Sakura trembled and waited on baited breath for her mother to respond. Her father's face had gone splotchy red in rage and his eyes were fixed on his wife- almost as if he was daring her to respond. But Mebuki remained silent. And Sakura felt as though her parents had had this argument several times before. But never when she was present.

After a tense few moments, Kizashi breathed in deeply, the red starting to fade from his tan cheeks. "I don't know why I thought someone in a profession that is dedicated to deceiving could be trusted as my wife. You are nothing but a whore."

Sakura felt her mother's sharp intake of breath, and her composure snapped. "My mother is not a bad person! She helped save our village. You are the one deceiving everyone into thinking that you love us! I wonder what everyone would think about you if they knew I wasn't a Haruno!"

Sakura heard the slap before she felt it. The back of her father's hand brutally connected to her fragile cheek, knocking her right off the bed. She didn't even hear her mother's scream, her ears were wringing from the impact.

But as she lay face down on her mother's carpet, black spots dancing in her vision, jaw beginning to burn, she felt her resolve harden. Her father was wrong. And as she slowly peeled herself off the floor, she was even more shocked to take in the sight of her mother's bony fingers wrapped around her father's thick throat.

"Don't you dare touch her," Mebuki threatened in a tone that Sakura had never heard her use before.

The hatred in her father's eyes could have incinerated her on the spot. He batted his wife's hand off his jugular. "Don't forget, I let you and your bastard stay here out of my own kindness."

"You let us stay because you know the damage it would cause to you and your clan's precious reputation if the truth came out!" Mebuki furiously argued.

"You're right," Kizashi slowly said, his tone haunting. "We would be social pariahs. But you… you would be locked away if the Hokage discovered what you did. And as for her-" he gestured to Sakura, "she would be picked apart with a fine tooth comb. A verifiable lab rat."

Mebuki's anger flushed face whitened dramatically. "Kizashi-"

"So I know that you won't be telling a soul," Kizashi smirked cruelly before turning to Sakura, "and neither will you. You cannot even begin to comprehend the consequences the truth would wrought on your mother."

Sakura struggled to swallow back her anger, but grudgingly managed to. She slowly nodded her consent.

Kizashi gave the pair another hard look before huffing loudly and leaving the room.

A moment of silence that shouldn't have felt tense, but somehow managed to be both awkward and unsettling followed his departure.

Sakura cast a look at her mother out of the side of her eye and found that her mother was still staring at the spot where her 'father' had just finished threatening the two.

"Mom?" she tentatively queried.

The normally absentness of her mother's cornflower blue eyes was now clouded with both worry and sorrow. "I'm sorry you had to hear that flower." She reached over and her cold fingers were soothing as they brushed against Sakura's throbbing cheek. "I'm sorry he hit you."

Sakura ignored the pain and pursed her lips, wondering if she was daring enough to ask the question that was sitting on the tip of her tongue. After a moment, her mind finally settled. She figured that if her parents had already shared this much forbidden information, what was one more harmless question.

"If dad isn't my real father…than who is?"

Her mother's gentle touch retracted from her cheek as if it had been burned. The sorrow faded from her eyes and fear flashed though them. If Sakura hadn't been studying her mother so intently than she would have missed it.

"Never ask me that," Mebuki said, her tone glacial.

Sakura drew back, but when she saw the ice in her mother's eyes not soften, disappointment overwhelmed her. Tail figuratively tucked between her legs, she slunk out of her mother's bedroom. But she did not make a turn towards the staircase; no Sakura kept walking until she was out the front door and into the pouring rain.

She walked past the winding gardens and koi pond. She walked past the Haruno property line. She walked past the road that she had barely been allowed to step foot on in the past, let alone tromped down alone. She kept walking until her clothing was soaked through to the bone.

She felt as cold in body as she did in spirit. Haruno Sakura walked until her little toes felt heavy and numb.

It was only when she spotted a bench near the village gates did she finally stop and slump her tiny figure down. The rain continued pouring- so thick that it was hard to see anything. So heavy that it mixed with the hot tears running down her cheeks. But still Sakura sat, her mind racing.

She had always known that her clan didn't exactly approve of her. Their biting words and disdainful stares had always stung. But it had always been like this- so Sakura had never fully questioned why her? She had simply learned to keep her mouth firmly shut and presence as unobtrusive as possible when near. But now, it all made sense… And yet it was more confusing than ever.

Sakura's musings were cut short as a hand clamped down on her shoulder. She looked up to see a very pretty woman with short dark hair plastered to her wet face.

"Are you lost?" the woman asked, having to shout to be heard over the rain.

Sakura's green eyes scanned the woman apprehensively as she digested the question. It only just occurred to her that she was indeed lost. Spotting the forehead protector (with the same symbol as the one her mother had kept hidden in her cupboard) wrapped around the woman's neck, her apprehension cleared. She slowly nodded to the woman.

The woman's pale face broke out in a small smile, "Well, lets get you home. You don't want to catch a cold!"

Home- that didn't sound so appealing right now… But what other choice did she have? Its not like she had any other family to run off to. If this were a fairytale than either a fairy godmother or woodland creature would take her in. But the events of the afternoon made it blatantly clear to the young girl that her life was not a fairytale. And since she had no other choice, Sakura grasped the woman's hand and slipped off the cold bench.

"What is your name and who are your parents?" the woman asked.

Sakura chewed her lip for a moment before answering, "Haruno Sakura. My parents are Kizashi and Mebuki,"

"Ah- a civilian than. The silk merchant's daughter, right?"

Sakura nodded. She may be confused and upset with her mother, but she took her warnings to heart. She may not be a Haruno by blood, but to the world she was. So she clutched the kunoichi's hand and followed her through the winding streets back to her house.

Just as Sakura spotted the hill that would lead her up to her parent's house the nin pulled her to a stop. Sakura frowned as the woman crouched down to look at her.

The woman's dark eyes scanned her face, fixating on her jaw. "That's quite the bruise you have little one."

Young wary eyes stayed silent as Sakura studied the nin.

The woman seemed to sense that Sakura wasn't going to speak, "Let me take care of that."

Sakura couldn't help the reflexive flinch as the kunoichi raised her hand to her tender cheek. But her wariness was replaced by intrigue as the woman's hand glowed light green and a soothing warmth seemed to sink into her sensitive cheek.

After the glow diminished the nin patted her cheek, "There you go, all better."

"Thank you shinobi-san," Sakura politely responded, awe leaking into her voice.

The woman straightened up and offered a warm smile. "Well I couldn't have just left you there. Now inside with you. You'll catch your death out here. And then my work will be for nothing."

Sakura nodded, but remained rooted on the spot as she watched the woman leap up to the nearest rooftop. It was only when the rain washed away her view did the little girl finally trudge up the hill and slip through the heavy front door, praying that her father wouldn't notice the mud she was dragging through.

The entryway was silent. Sakura spared her mother's bedroom a speculative look, but didn't dare approach. Instead she crept up the staircase and darted in her room. After a moment of tense hesitation, Sakura let out a relived sigh. Neither parent barged in demanding to know where she had been. The thought should have been more upsetting, but Sakura had too much on her mind.

As she stripped out of her wet clothing and toweled off, she thought about the kunoichi. The woman was beautiful, strong, and selfless. She helped her even though she didn't have to. She helped her even when she received nothing in return. And as Sakura approached the mirror and studied her face intently she realized that the glowing light the woman produced even healed her aching bruise.

And it was in that moment that the little girl felt a resolve harden within her. She wanted to be like that woman- she wanted to help others, to be useful and brave and everything her family said she wasn't. She wanted to be strong and help her village. She wanted to be one of the heroes parents regaled their children with. She wanted to be a shinobi.

Hey everyone, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! I know Sakura's thoughts/language may be a little sophisticated for a five year old, but in Naruto they let some kids join their military at six… And Sakura was always a genius with knowledge.

Anyways, please review and let me know your thoughts on the chapter. And if you are celebrating, have a happy holiday!

-Nyx