Chapter 6: Blood, Sweat, and Fears
"It all begins and ends
in your mind.
What you give power to,
has power over
you."
-anonymous
Her head felt like it would be split in two if the ringing continued. It was a shrill noise that blared through her psyche like an invasive warning- something is wrong, something is wrong, something is wrong… Burying her face deeper into her pillow, Sakura groaned, images of cruel dark eyes tinted with the promise of unspeakable things flickering through her mind. Her fingers clenched in her sheets before she pried her eyelids open. They were sticky with the remnants of unsatisfying dreams.
She rolled over and her blank green eyes stared at the unadorned ceiling- it wasn't a nightmare. That actually happened… Great Uncle Itsuki actually… the words for his actions escaped her. He had done something much worse than just skim her inner thighs- he had stolen her peace of mind, her security. Movement from beside her caused Sakura to tilt her head. Her mother's prone figure reminded her that it could have been much worse. If she hadn't of come when she did… well Sakura didn't want to dwell on what the results would have been- what she would have done…
"You should turn that off. You're father is still in the house; he won't like hearing it," Mebuki gently cautioned.
Sakura reached over to her windowsill where her vibrating alarm clock trilled and hit the off switch. Usually this particular instrument was placed on her nightstand, but her mother had insisted on sleeping between her and the door. It was an assertion that Sakura complied to with great relief.
The little hands announced that it was five a.m. and her gaze moved past the clock and out the window. The sun hadn't yet begun its ascent, birds were still quiet in their nests, and Sakura knew that the moment she stepped outside dew would cling to her open toes. The world was still seemingly asleep- but not for shinobi.
"You don't have to go you know," her mother said.
Sakura's eyes turned flinty. She was still weak- last night was more than enough proof of that. She needed to be stronger!
"I want to go. Kakashi-sensei said we have to complete survival training before we can become real genin."
Sakura felt her mother stiffen for a moment, "Hatake Kakashi is your sensei?"
If she had been facing her mother than she would have been able to see the clear apprehension in her mother's blue eyes. But she wasn't and her mother's voice was deceptively calm.
"Yes. He is a bit of an odd man. He showed up three hours late and wears a mask that covers most of his face."
Mebuki made a non-committal noise, her thoughts racing.
Sakura made no notice of her mother's contemplation as she finally stretched herself out of bed. Usually she was a morning person, but after the events of last night her body felt heavy with fatigue. She was betting that if she looked in the mirror her eyes would be bloodshot and swollen, even though not a single tear was shed. Shaking off her weariness, she grabbed a pair of black training pants and a green shirt and headed to the bathroom.
Scalding hot water stung her skin, but Sakura reveled in it. She viciously scrubbed at her small body, making sure the remnants of Itsuki's touch dripped down the drain. When she stepped out of the shower her skin was achingly tight and as pink as her hair. Sakura ignored the foggy mirror and deeply inhaled the steam, trying it to clear her mind. She needed to focus.
But when she caught a glimpse at the clock as she headed to the garden, Sakura realized that she had lingered in the shower for far too long. She wouldn't be able to mediate or practice any taijutsu. Internally scowling and feeling far more under prepared than she was accustomed to, she grabbed her weapons and bento before running out the door.
The sun was finally beginning to peek over mountains as she made her way to training ground three. Mist clung to the damp ground, yet the lightening sky promised a warm day. But Sakura still felt as though a private storm cloud was hovering over her. Everything that had happened since her team was announced was lingering in her mind. And as much as she knew she needed to be focused, the weight of everything was too big a distraction. She wished she had time to meditate- that way she could have achieved some form of inner harmony.
When she finally reached the training ground, only one of her teammates was there. Sasuke sat below a lone gnarled tree, mist hovering around his legs, making him look like the grim reaper. It was a comparison that she thought he would approve of.
Sasuke made no acknowledgement of her presence, but Sakura knew that he was aware of her company. The tensing of his muscles was a dead giveaway. And while she was all too happy to follow his lead of silently ignoring each other, he was to be her teammate. A person that she was supposed to trust with her life- how could she do that if she didn't have even the loosest sort of bond with him?
"Good morning Sasuke-san."
His pale face snapped up to look at her. Dark eyes narrowed briefly, as if assessing whether or not she was going to squeal before throwing herself at him. Sakura inwardly felt more than a little offended at the arrogant Uchiha- even if he had good reason to be wary around girls. Still, she had never been one of his mindless followers and she thought he had known that.
"Hn."
She internally scoffed and wondered if his manners died with his family. And then a wince tugged at her lips- that was cruel. But still, she was his teammate and even if that did not automatically equate friendship (something she had managed to be content living mostly without), it still required some form of relationship.
An uncomfortable silence polluted the air and Sakura was in too much of a poor mood to attempt to change it. Especially when she knew her efforts would not be appreciated. She slumped on the ground about a meter away from Sasuke and begun winding her now dry hair into a tight braid. She absently wondered if their sensei would be late again today.
Five minutes later an orange figure ran onto the grounds shouting, "I'M HERE! I'M HERE!"
Naruto skidded to a stop at the tree and bent over, panting. "I'm not late I swear!" he looked around in confusion, "Where's Kakashi-sensei?"
"Obviously not here," Sasuke drawled.
Naruto scowled at him, "I wasn't asking you, teme!"
He turned to her in askance and Sakura could feel a migraine forming behind her left eye socket.
"Oh wow, Sakura-chan, you don't look so good!"
Sakura stiffened and had to fight the scowl that was threatening to appear. She viciously wondered if Naruto could go an entire day without committing some form of social blunder. And to make it even worse, she could have sworn she heard Sasuke quietly snort at his rude comment.
"I'm just a little tired Naruto-san, and it seems our sensei is not the most punctual man."
Naruto scowled, "Awe man, I can't believe I woke up this early and broke my alarm clock and he hasn't even shown up!"
Neither Sasuke nor Sakura responded, and for the next three hours Naruto paced around the tree, groaning and griping about how tired and hungry he was. And when he finished his tirade, he would start in on what a lousy sensei Kakashi was.
Several times he attempted to lure her into conversation- much the same as she contemplated doing with Sasuke earlier that morning, but Sakura did not feel the need to join in his ranting. All she wanted was some peace and quiet- something that would never be achieved when the self- proclaimed 'future Hokage' was around.
"And I bet he isn't all that good anyways. I bet he wears that stupid mask because he is so embarrassed at how lousy of a shinobi he- Sakura-chan? Where are you going?"
"To meditate Naruto-san. I would like to attempt to clear my mind before our sensei arrives," Sakura replied, voice weary. She figured that if Kakashi-sensei wasn't showing up any time soon, she might as well make the most of her time.
Naruto's blue eyes were intent on her, "Oh, okay." His face suddenly turned bashful, "Well, have fun."
She smiled politely before moving away from him and Sasuke. Normally Sakura didn't like to mediate in front of people- it was too distracting. But her head was now pounding in agony. So she folded her legs and attempted to ignore her two spectators, focusing instead on her breathing and the steady thump of her heartbeat.
Inhale…exhale…inhale…exhale…
It took longer than normal to relax into her fully meditative state, but once she did she was more than a little dismayed at what she found. Sakura already knew her mind was a chaotic mess this morning, but her body was reflecting that state too.
Her chakra reeked of disorder. Some strands were violently thrumming, while others, like the clump in her throat appeared dim and wilting. Usually after a strenuous workout some of the chakra gathered around her muscles would appear dimmer, before strengthening, but never to this bad an extent.
Her breath grew heavier in panic. This couldn't be happening- not now, not today. Today she needed to be in top form- ready for whatever her new sensei was going to throw at her. She needed to reorganize the pandemonium in her body before it completely took over her mind.
So Sakura attempted to visualize all of the negative energy that was festering in her soul- the fear, anger, shame, and panic. In her mind's eye it was like a swirling black mass- a tumor that could not be allowed to linger, lest it grow cancerous with all of her more harmful emotions. So she shoved the smoky heap into the furthest recesses of her mind.
Two hands suddenly gripped her shoulders, "Sakura-chan? Sakura? Are you okay?"
Sakura's eyes snapped open the moment Naruto's fingers made contact with her body and she had to fight off the alarmingly ferocious impulse to flip him over and pin him to the ground. She felt cold sweat trickle down the back of her neck and her heart raced as his blue eyes bore into hers.
"I'm fine."
She looked past Naruto to see Sasuke staring at her with an uncomfortable look on his face.
"You started breathing really heavy, and shaking a little. Teme thought you were having a seizure!"
Sasuke scoffed, "I didn't say that."
Naruto swung around, "You were just as freaked out as me!"
Sakura grimaced- she was making a terrible impression to her new teammates. They probably thought she was either ill or crazy- both traits that no one would want in a shinobi teammate. And she did not want them to think she was a weak link.
"Hn."
"What does that even mean?" Naruto growled, rounding on Sasuke.
"It means you're delusional."
"Teme!"
But than again their incessant bickering wasn't exactly endearing either of them to her either.
"Get out of my face dobe," Sasuke snarled.
Naruto, clearly gearing for a fight leaned in even closer, "Make me teme!"
"Are you two about to kiss?" a new voice suddenly said from behind the two.
Three heads whipped over to see Kakashi-sensei standing with his head tilted curiously as he looked at Naruto and Sasuke. "Because I've read a scene almost identical to this one, and the two people ended up kissing…"
Naruto squawked and jumped away from Sasuke, his face the picture of outrage. "Kakashi-sensei, how could you say that? I would never do that with the teme! That's just-" he stuttered incoherently for a moment, before an even bigger scowl spread on his face. "Hey- where have you been! We have been waiting here for hours! You said to show up at six o'clock!"
Kakashi absently rubbed the back of his neck, "Ah well, I was on my way here when a black cat crossed me. So naturally I had to take another route…"
Sakura scoffed- she had always been raised with impeccable manners, despite her family not granting her the same courtesy. And it appeared as if her new sensei was completely lacking them if he was always tardy without even the shame to think of a plausible explanation.
Sasuke remained non-pulsed at the flimsy excuse, while Naruto's furious blue eyes roved over Kakashi's covered face for a moment, as if a clue to his insincerity would pop out of the cotton.
"I don't believe you!" Naruto hotly declared.
Kakashi hummed before stepping around Naruto and over to the three posts mounted in the ground. He placed an alarm clock on top of the centre post.
He then pulled two little bells attached to his flack jacket up. "Your survival training is this: you three each have to steal one of the bells from me." He pushed a button on the alarm clock, "You will have one hour to do so. Fail to capture a bell and you will not get to eat any lunch. Instead, you will enjoy the view from one of these posts while I enjoy mine."
Sasuke's stomach growled loudly and everyone turned to look at him. His pale face flushed lightly, causing Naruto to throw back his head in laughter. Sasuke shot him a glare, but Sakura's eyes were fixed on something else.
"Sensei?"
"Yes Sakura-chan?"
"Why are there only two bells?"
"There are only two bells because only two of you can pass this test. The person that fails will go back to the academy, or all three of you could fail and go back. It's a test that helps weed out the weak from the strong. And the only way you can win against me is to attack me with killing intent."
He explained all this in an infuriatingly nonchalant manner.
Sakura grit her teeth- she had read all about killing intent. If one could channel their own than it was a powerful tool used to stun opponents into a petrified state… But Kakashi-sensei was a jounin; three genin candidates shouldn't even faze him. And besides, the killing intent radiated from a twelve year old would do more harm in announcing their whereabouts than scaring a jounin stiff.
Naruto made a funny little growling sound in the back of his throat before quickly launching himself at Kakashi-sensei, kunai raised high. And while Naruto's speed and gusto were impressive, Sakura was not at all surprised when Kakashi inevitably thwarted his attack. Naruto was spun around with his own weapon pointed at the back of his neck before any of them could blink.
"Don't be so hasty," Kakashi-sensei chided a struggling Naruto. "Those who tend to act first without thinking always fail."
After finally letting Naruto go, Kakashi studied the three, "Oh, and just to let you know, I've never managed to have any genin candidates pass the bell test before." His mask tilted up in the unmistakable form of a smirk. "Begin!"
Sakura did not need to be told twice. She darted off towards a nearby clump of shrubbery without a backward glance at Naruto and Sasuke- her competition. The bush was ideal hiding spot, as she was small enough to crawl underneath, and the branches were dense enough to both cover her bright colors and block her from incoming weapons.
Once she felt comfortably camouflaged, Sakura inhaled deeply and searched for her chakra. It was difficult to do with her eyes open, but there was no way she was closing them when such an advanced opponent was close. Balling her chakra tightly together, Sakura bit her lip and concealed it.
She just managed to hear Kakashi's low chuckle over the shouts of the many Narutos. But she wasn't sure if it was meant for her or one of Naruto's many over zealous shadow clones being poofed out of existence.
She frowned and she watched the scene from her hiding spot, wondering when Naruto became able to complete a shadow clone jutsu? And how on earth Naruto had managed to gain enough chakra to make so many? She bit down on her lip harder, tasting blood. Even if Naruto's strategy was non-existent, he was clearly a much bigger opponent than she expected.
Shaking her head, she took her eyes off the two. She needed a plan. Clearly Kakashi-sensei could manage perfectly well in an ambush. And even if Naruto didn't possess an ounce of finesse, having over thirty of him running at you was no laughing matter. Yet her lazy sensei had barely looked up from his book.
Sakura knew that she didn't have a hope in hell at beating him at ninjutsu. Just the effort from concealing her chakra made her feel weak, so that ruled that out. So that left her with only one option: a weapon based attack.
Carefully and quietly, Sakura dug a hand into her weapons pouch, eyes never leaving Kakashi. As she withdrew a kunai, she wiggled herself out of the bush, cursing every twig snap and leaf rustle. She crept closer, unwinding her whip from around her waist. Sharp eyes studied her opponent, waiting for the perfect opportunity.
And once Kakashi was fully focused on the dozens of Narutos running out of the water at him, Sakura finally darted forward. With a practiced flick of her wrist, her whip uncoiled and wrapped around Kakashi's waist, pinning his arms to his sides. Ignoring the gaping Naruto clones, Sakura tugged the whip, letting Kakashi's heavier set body fling her towards him. And once she was close enough, her kunai slit an arch towards the two dangling bells.
But as soon as the blade made contact with the apparent string, smoke clouded her vision and burned her nostrils. She ducked to the ground and fought the urge to scream in frustration as a wooden log lay where the 'not Kakashi' was standing. It was a substitution jutsu all along!
"Wow Sakura-chan, that was awesome!" one of the many Narutos stated. The rest of them all nodded and offered goofy grins.
Sakura scowled at him, aggravated with her own failure. Where the hell could the real Kakashi be? Her eyes then roved over all the Naruto clones- he couldn't… he could. Sakura was willing to bet every one of her scrolls that Kakashi was posing as one of the Naruto clones… But simply attacking all of the clones until she found out which one was him was not an option- or at least a poor option. For one, Kakashi would see her coming a mile away and secondly she wasn't all too sure what the policy was on attacking teammates, but it was probably frowned upon.
Glaring nastily at the assembled clones, Sakura ran back over to the shrubs. And just as she nestled herself back amongst the branches she heard the sound of metal hitting metal- two kunai locked in battle. And judging by the lack of screaming, it wasn't Naruto attacking Kakashi this time- it was Sasuke. He was probably her biggest threat right now…
Shaking her head Sakura crept out of the bushes and towards the gnarled tree. She didn't want Kakashi to think she was predictable and look for her in her previous hiding spot. And as she ducked behind the decrepit bark, she noticed an alarming silence on the training grounds. Sasuke had either managed to get a bell, or was defeated.
Mind racing, Sakura inhaled deeply. Options flashed through her brain- she could try a shuriken barrage; or aim senbon for some of the central nerves in his body; or disguise herself, just like Kakashi did…
Exhaling, Sakura decided. She quickly ran through the hand seals trying to keep a good grip on concealing her chakra. It wouldn't do any good to be wearing Naruto's face, while showcasing her own chakra signature. The tingling of her spiritual energy signified that her transformation was a success. Hoping that Naruto and his many clones were still lurking around Kakashi and not knocked out, Sakura turned around and was immediately surrounded by a peculiar mist.
Startled, she stepped back, knocking herself into the tree and letting go of her jutsu. Wide eyes watched as the mist warped together in the form of a person. Transparent mist soon gained solidity and color, and Sakura felt cold horror rush down her spine as green eyes clashed with the brown of Great Uncle Itsuki's. Memories of the previous night rushed through her mind-
Cold but sharp eyes, looking at her the way a hunter looks at its pray. Hot breath reeking of sake brushing over her neck as he leaned in closer and whispered about her illegitimacy. Dry fingers burning a trail up thigh, until they reached-
"NO!" Sakura snarled, and without thinking grabbed her kunai and thrashed it through the image. Breathing heavily, she watched as the mist dissipated before being absorbed in the ground. Genjutsu.
Bile burned up her throat and Sakura bent over dry heaving. When the violent tremors finally stopped, shaky hands cupped her head. She couldn't dwell on this- on him. She needed to be focused, or she would-
The sound of the alarm clock blaring cut off her train of thought. Her nausea returned- the hour was up- she had failed.
Wiping the sticky trail of saliva off her chin, Sakura stepped out from behind the tree and saw Sasuke heading towards Kakashi covered in dirt, while Naruto was tied to a fencepost. And as she approached the trio, Sakura felt Kakashi's lone eye burning into her.
"Awe sensei, you're not really going to eat in front of us are you?" Naruto whined from his post.
"No, Naruto. Unfortunately I am going to eat my lunch while I head to the Hokage tower to let him know that the three of you failed." Kakashi-sensei answered.
Sakura hunched over, shame and self- loathing warring within her. She had worked so hard to get here, only to fail.
"Sasuke, Sakura, you two can go ahead and eat your lunches, but do not under any circumstance give any food to Naruto. It's his punishment for trying to sneak food early."
Sakura didn't even bother to nod as she watched the silver haired man walk towards the bridge. Walking away with her crushed dreams in his hand…
Her head only snapped up when something nudged at her arm. Sasuke was holding her bento out without looking in her direction. Murmuring her thanks, Sakura opened the stuffed bento. Her stomach protested even looking at all the food, half of which was packed for Naruto. And on queue, Naruto's stomach loudly gurgled.
Standing to her feet, Sakura walked over to Naruto, "Here, you can have it all today. I'm not hungry."
Wide blue eyes stared at her uncomprehendingly, "But Sakura-chan, Kakashi-sensei said-"
"I know what he said," she interrupted. "But that hardly matters now that we all failed. And besides you are hungrier than I am."
Naruto's eyes dimmed a bit when she mentioned 'failure', but he blushed as she held out a rice ball.
"The dobe is going to choke if you feed him like that," Sasuke said, before getting to his feet.
Sakura watched as he walked behind the post and withdrew his kunai. Naruto tensed for a moment, before falling to the ground with an 'ooof,' the ropes holding him cleanly cut. He scowled at Sasuke, but perked up again as he scooted closer to Sakura and grabbed the rice ball.
"You're not going to eat all her food are you?" Sasuke scoffed, as Naruto stuffed his face.
Naruto scowled, but his comically bulging cheeks ruined the menacing affect.
Sasuke sighed and offered Sakura a cherry tomato, "So you at least have something."
Sakura accepted the fruit even though her stomach protested at the thought. And just as she bit into it, juices dribbling down her lip, the sky dramatically darkened and a chill crawled up her spine.
"Just what do you three think you're doing?" a menacing voice questioned from behind them.
Sakura whirled around, twisting her whip around her hand. Sasuke and Naruto both flanked her as Kakashi descended upon them, thunder and lightening following in his wake. An intense wave of malice swept through her- and she realized that this was what killing intent felt like.
"Didn't I tell you not to feed Naruto? You three…" he chuckled, the sound like nails on a chalkboard, "pass!"
Hi everyone, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! And I hope you liked my take on the bell test!
Just to answer a question that has been popping up quite a bit. I don't think/intend kunoichis to be glorified prostitutes. But I do however think that the gender disparity in Naruto is more than a little alarming. So having only women complete the type of missions involving sex doesn't surprise me.
Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts/questions/concerns!
-Nyx
