January 18, 1962

Karcsi,

I'm sorry.

I hope this letter gets to you soon, dude. I can see the fucking big ass wall from my window. I wish I could see you again, but I don't think that's gonna be happening any time soon.

I wish you would've moved in with me, but I respect the fact that you have to take care of your brother.

Besides, isn't your dumb ass family was making you stay with them anyways because the whole college thing?
- Dave

January 24, 1962

Dave,

I'm fucking scared. Things are changing a lot.

What's the goddamn shitfuck-ass wall like on that side? I wanted to move in with my family mostly so I could care for Károly. And yeah, my shit-ass parents wanted me to stay with them before I started college. My dad got a job here after the goddamn war, so we all moved to this shitty hellhole as a result.

Hungary was way better. I want to fucking go home.
-Karcsi

January 30, 1962

Karcsi,

The wall is just right next to roads and such. There are no guards or anything. We can go up to it and touch that shit. The Allies are chill as fuck. Although I'm probably biased because I'm American.

I hope Károly feels better soon though, and I'm sorry you're homesick. I'm visiting Hungary in 2 days for winter break and I'll get you some souvenirs.

Anyways, when does school start for you?
-Dave

February 7, 1962

Dave,
What the hell? Dude, fuck you. The shit they have set up over here is way worse. It's like a fucking prison. I'm gonna tell you about this bullshit. So when you look outside, there are these big ass fuckin' watch towers behind a fence. The guys in there have scary as fuck guns. I can see another fence behind that. Behind that fucking ass-fence are those big ass fucking things that they use to stop tanks. You know what I'm talking about?

Anyways, behind those is ANOTHER goddamn fence. As if they didn't already have enough fucking fences. Behind that is some big ass fucking barbed wire coil fuck things, as if anyone was gonna get past the six hundred goddamn fences and the guys with guns. Then there's some kind of bunker? I don't give a fuck about what it is. There's more fucking dudes with guns, and they have dogs.

Not cute dogs though. Scary as fuck dogs. Behind them is some kind of big-ass ditch. For some goddamn reason. I guess they assume we're all batshit crazy and would try and steal a fucking tank and plow through their 89 fences and barbed wire. Then they have some big ass lights that shine over this long as fuck stretch of sand that would show footprints of anyone trying to come over from your side. As if they'd fucking want to.

Thanks. He's not doing too well, and I'm scared as fuck. At least we have free healthcare I guess, but it's still shit. All the doctors are shit too, since we all get paid the same shitty wage. Nobody gives a fuck about doing their job anymore.

You're a fucking godsend, Dave. Thanks for all this shit. Really makes me feel at home again. The pictures you took were nice. It's a shame Budapest still looks like shit. I've only ever been there once, but it was beautiful as fuck when I was there. Fuck you for bombing my home country.

School has already started. It's fucking bullshit. Thanks for asking.
-Karcsi

February 11, 1962

Karcsi,

Holy shit. That sounds scary as fuck. Although the thing about the fences made me laugh. Why do they need so many? You'd assume that as soon as someone gets close to the wall, they'd get shot. What's the fucking point of having 3 million fences? Fucking Commies.

I hope things turn around with him. He was always a pretty cool dude, if not a little douchey and uptight. At least your brother actually likes you. Bro is a shitbag. Fuck bro. Maybe if we do have a war with Russia, the Army will draft his ass and I won't have to deal with him hitting me when I leave a plate in my room.

I told you Communism is shit. I warned you about the Communism, bro.

Thanks. Those pictures were pretty great. The view was nice from our hotel, and the food was good as fuck. Even if it was shitty Commie food.

Dude, you act like it was specifically me who flew the fighter planes to Hungary and bombed your fucking shit. You know I'm a conscientious objector. Regardless, I'm sorry that America (and probably also Britain and Russia, maybe France) totally fucked your shit up.

You're welcome. School here is pretty chill; even some kids of the American soldiers come to the school, so it's not like I'm the only American.
-Dave

February 17, 1962

Dave,

Yeah. My family used to be pretty firm Communists. I was, as were my parents and Károly. My opinions have definitely fucking changed, and so have Károly's. I think even my goddamn parents are starting to detest it, for fuck's sake.

Thanks. And yeah, your ugly worm of a brother was always a piece of shit. Maybe they'll send his sorry ass to that frozen fucking wasteland. I swear, that fuckbag needs to learn his goddamn place. I can't believe that dickhead gets away with abusing you. If I wasn't 5'2" and stuck on this side of the wall, I'd personally come over to your place and beat his ass.

And I get it, you hate Communism. Fucking McCarthyist assfuck.

The pictures were nice. And Hungarian cuisine is the best, so fuck you. At least we actually have an actual cuisine culture. All you guys have is your gross cheese burgers and fries, and your 'lasagnas.' What the fuck is a lasagna? Why is it spelled like that? Fuck America.

And shut up. I get it, you're soooo amazing and have a great sense of morality for not wanting to blow people up.

The school here is shit. Nobody speaks Hungarian. Everything's in German and Russian. Of course, just fucking neither of the languages I speak fluently. And some of these fuckers actually have the audacity to make fun of my accent.
-Karcsi

February 25, 1962

Don't let the Russians know that. Just pretend you're an adherent.

Yeah, I hope they draft him off somewhere far away where I don't have to see him again for a while. What a fucking bitch. His verbal abuse isn't even funny in an ironic way anymore. It's just shitty.

Thanks, dude. I know I can count on you. You're the best bro a guy could ask for.

I'm just giving you a hard time, man. Whatever floats your economic philosophy boat is fine with me so long as you're chill about it.

Well, fuck you too, because American food is fucking great. And lasagna isn't American. It's Italian. That's why it's spelled like that.

Dude, fuck those guys. Your accent is fucking awesome. They're just jealous pricks.
-Dave

March 12, 1962

Dave,

Sorry for not contacting you sooner. You're probably worried as fuck, like usual when I don't send you a letter for a while.

Károly is getting worse, and I haven't had any fucking time to sit down and write. He's sleeping now, so I finally have a little time to write this. I'm staying up to write this, just so you know. You'd better be grateful as fuck when you get this letter.

Thanks. Learning German has been fairly easy, but learning Russian has been a fucking chore. The alphabet is way different, and nothing like German or English. It's nowhere even fucking close to Hungarian either, so there's that.

I really miss you, Dave. Stay safe.
-Karcsi

March 18, 1962

Karcsi,

Dude, I was worried sick about you! Fuck you for not even calling me or anything. I'm sorry about your brother though. I wish I could help.

I miss you too, bro. Stay safe as well. I hope your shit gets un-fucked soon.
-Dave

March 25, 1962

Dave,

I know. I said I was fucking sorry, dude. What else do you want me to do? Climb over this shitty fucking wall and kiss your ass?

I hope it does too. I wanna get out of this shitty place.
- Karcsi

April 1, 1962

Karcsi,

There's something I have to tell you. Promise me you won't tell. I can only hope those Communist pieces of shit over there don't read our mail.
-Dave

April 6, 1962

Dave,

What is it?

For fucking once, I have some goddamn good news.

We finally fucking applied for a temporary exit visa back to Hungary. They may or may not deny it. If we can get there, we can easily leave and get to the West side.

And then I can see you again.
-Karcsi

April 13, 1962

Karcsi,

I'm bisexual.

I love you. And not as a bro.

Sorry for not saying anything earlier.
-Dave

April 18, 1962

Dave,

Holy fucking shit. Dude, seriously?!

You could've told me earlier, seriously. God.

However, I have some more good news for you.

I love you too. I guess that makes us even now, or whatever the fuck.
-Karcsi

April 23, 1962

Karcsi,

I think Bro has been reading my shit. He's started calling me really homophobic stuff and trying to embarrass me. He even outed me to my fucking parents. Of course, they were furious, considering the fact that they're hardcore Conservatives.

They keep saying I'm "diseased" and that I should find help. I think they want to send me to a conversion center. What the hell do I fucking do? Bro's hurting me more.

I wish you were here with me.
-Dave

April 29, 1962

Dave,

Oh god, that's fucking horrible. Why is your family a bunch of scumbags?

Anyways, our visa got accepted after like, 6,000 fucktons of paperwork and a ton of other extremely unnecessary shit.

But I think you should tell them off. Tell them that you're just fine and you were born gay. Tell them that you aren't fucking "diseased." That's the bullshittiest bullshit I've ever fucking heard.

I swear to god, once we get there, I'm going to fucking kill your Bro. How dare he fucking hurt you?

I wish I were there with you too. It'll only be a little while longer, I promise.
-Yours, Karcsi

May 4, 1962

Karcsi,

They're sending me to get "treatment."

My parents are taking my letter writing privileges. They don't want me talking to you, which is a load of shit.

I'm scared.
-Love, Dave

May 10, 1962

Dave,

Oh god. I'm so fucking sorry. A few more days and we're out of here. For good.

Hang on for me, okay? I hope that whatever they do to you, that you stay safe.

I love you. I can't wait to come over there and kiss you on the mouth. Right in front of your parents.
-Yours, Karcsi

October 27, 1962

Dave,

How are you?

I'm so fucking sorry that we took so long. We're staying in an apartment a few blocks from yours. The government gave us money since we're considered 'refugees,' apparently.

My new address is on the back of this letter.

See you soon.
-Love, Karcsi

November 10, 1962

Karcsi,

Hey.

I'm writing this in secret. Nobody's home, so I can write this without getting punished. My dad tore the letter you sent in October up, but I retrieved it when he was gone.

I'm not the same person I was when we first met. I'm sorry.

Regardless, I still love you, dude.

The therapy isn't working. I'm still gay as fuck for you. Hurry up and come over so we can kiss, fucking faggot.
-Love, Dave

Entry #678
November 17, 1962

Karcsi came over today. With his parents, and Károly in toe, who looked better than he ever did.

They argued with my parents for a long time. I hid in my bedroom, because I knew if I was there, Bro would beat my ass.

I couldn't meet Karcsi, but I did get to see him, which was cool as fuck.

Bro beat the shit out of me. Now I'm gonna have to explain to Karcsi why I've got a black eye and a busted lip and why my arms are bruised. Fuck that dickhead; seriously. I can't believe I used to think he was cool.

Entry #682
November 23, 1962

They've been shredding all the letters Karcsi sends to me, but now that he lives a short distance away, it doesn't bother me much. He usually sneaks out and throws paper airplanes up to my window.

I save them all.

Entry #698
December 2, 1962

I've been sneaking out in the middle of the night to be with him.

I'm still mesmerized by the way he tasted. He held me for a long time and we watched a movie. He's acting nicer than usual.

They're still putting me through therapy. It's not working, obviously.

Entry #710
December 13, 1962

The therapy is definitely not working. Karcsi and I had sex last night.

My parents said they're considering disowning me. I couldn't be happier.

Entry #723
December 21, 1962

My parents kicked me out of the house. I don't have any of my stuff. Regardless, I'm so much happier. They said they were disowning me because I was gay.

Karcsi is letting me stay at his house. Károly is holding a job now, and Karcsi's parents are pretty supportive of our relationship. They invited me to live with them as long as I paid a small fee every month. I already have a job anyways, so that's not a problem.

Dave sat on the couch next to his boyfriend. His hands were still a bit shaky from the therapy that was now nothing but a distant, uncomfortable memory. Things were going much better than he'd planned, and he and Karcsi were going to the same school. He'd transferred ever since Bro had outed him.

The blonde lay with his arm draped over the Hungarian's chest, holding him close. They were watching some romcom film in Hungarian, and Karcsi was translating. He knew this film like the back of his hand, so he basically had the script memorized down-pat.

And when the kissing scene came on, the two of them kissed. There wasn't a much better way to be spending Christmas, in Dave's opinion.