Okay, I know I say it every chapter but you are all AMAZING! Wow, 64 reviews for five chapters! It's literally unbelievable :) Thanks sooo much, I'm glad you all like it. Also, 99 AMAZING FOLLOWERS? I love you ALL!

Anyway, sorry about the wait, I wanted to get more into this chapter than I could but hey-ho. It just means that the next chapter will be up sooner rather than later if all goes well.

This is the first insight into Fíli's perspective, I hope you like!

Read. Enjoy. Review.

Chapter Six # Remember Me Not #

Fíli could not believe it.

Kíli, his little brother, was alive. Kíli was alive, alive, and he had been living in the Shire, of all places, for over two decades!

The emotions drowning Fíli were so powerful that he had to keep reminding himself to breathe. Relief, sweet, beautiful relief and joy at finding out that Kíli was not only alive but happy were mixed with fresh pain mingled with the memories of losing him, and the shear agony that had spasmed through him when it became clear that Kíli had no recollection of him. Excitement at the prospect of sending word to his mother made itself known, as did crippling fear Kíli would want to stay here in the safety of the Shire rather than accompany his kin to the Lonely Mountain.

"He may not be the only family I have ever had, but Bilbo Baggins is the only family I know!"

Kíli's fierce words to Dwalin only made Fíli feel worse, though he doubted that was his brother's intention. As he tried very hard not to try and eavesdrop on the conversation Kíli was holding in the pantry with the hobbit, Fíli ran a hand over his face, wishing that he could just run outside to get some air.

Kíli had to come with them, he just had to. Fíli did not care if the hobbit was there or not – no, that was a lie. If Kíli would be happier with the hobbit around, then they both had to come. Fíli could not leave Kíli behind again.

Hiding the shudder that tried to creep down his spine, Fíli took a swig of ale as his regular nightmare flashed before his eyes.

He was running so fast, as fast as he could. He had to make it to the caves, if he fell behind…

Well, it did not bear thinking about.

"Fee!" a terrified scream caught his attention and he whirled around to see his baby brother face down on the floor. "Fíli, help me!"

Without thinking, Fíli ran back and grabbed Kíli's hands, wrenching his brother up onto his feet. "Come on!"

As they fled the advancing goblins, Kíli let out another strangled scream and clutched at Fíli's hand.

"Don't look back!" the older dwarfling ordered, pulling his brother closer towards himself. "Just keep running!"

Glancing over his own shoulder, Fíli saw Uncle Thorin up at the top of the hill, fighting his way towards them and he felt relief swell in his chest. Uncle Thorin would not let anything happen to them.

Suddenly he was dragged backwards by his hair and Fíli screamed.

"Kíli, run!"

Of course, Kíli did no such thing. Instead, he whirled around, and with a wail that could wake the dead he clutched his brother's arms, desperately trying to tug him out of the orc's iron grip.

With renewed ferocity, Fíli struggled out of his attackers hold and grabbed his little brother, pulling him into a tight hug as the orcs swarmed around them.

"I've got you!" he whimpered, terrified, as the filthy creatures cackled down at him.

Kíli just whimpered in response, pulling Fíli closer.

"…not that one, the runt! Yeah, that one!" an orc snarled, and suddenly there were hands everywhere, prying the two brothers apart.

"No, no, Kíli!" Fíli yelled, tightening his hold on his brother.

Kíli howled as the orcs tore him away. "Fee!"

Instantly Fíli felt Kíli's absence in his soul as well as his arms, as if his young heart already knew that he was about to lose his brother forever.

He watched in growing horror as the orcs sent gloating smiles at the advancing dwarves and then smashed a hammer into Kíli's head.

"No!" Fíli was certain that his own heart had stopped beating as Kíli fell against the floor, lifeless. "No, Kíli, please! Help, help us, please help! Kee, Kíli!"

An orc kicked Kíli's little body into the tempestuous lake and Fíli watched in horror as the water folded over Kíli's head.

Battle cries reached his ears as Thorin and the others reached them, but blind panic took over Fíli and he began to crawl through the battle field to the lake's edge. It was only due to the number of times he was kicked by pure accident that Fíli did not reach the water's edge before the battle ended, and as he tried to dive into the water after his brother, strong arms wrapped around his waist.

"No!" he struggled desperately.

"Fíli, stop!" Thorin's pained voice ordered, but Fíli shook his head.

"You have to let me go to him, Thorin, Kíli's in there-"

"No one could swim in that, Fíli." Thorin's hollow tone anesthetized Fíli's struggles.

"No…" he whispered. "No, no, no!"

"Kíli, I'm so sorry." Thorin whispered, and the next thing the dwarfling knew he was engulfed in a crushing embrace from his uncle and he realised the truth.

No dwarf could swim in that lake, even if they could see Kíli they could not save him. He was not dead, Fíli would not believe that, but he was lost…

Kíli was lost…

Shaking away the horrible memory he was subjected to reliving every few months, Fíli sighed and started to tap his fingers on the table, until the hobbit reappeared in the doorway with his brother.

Shuffling uncomfortably at the number of people staring at him, Kíli cleared his throat. "We will come with you, if we may have a day to set things in order before we go."

Thorin inclined his head politely, and Fíli guessed that only Dwalin, Balin and possibly Óin could see the joy in his uncle's eyes as he replied. "That can easily be arranged. Some of the company have travelled many leagues, I am sure that they would appreciate the rest."

Joy blossomed in Fíli's heart uncontrollably as Kíli gave a small smile.

"Balin," Thorin continued, "I believe our contract needs some adjustments."

Balin's eyes sparkled as he nodded. "I'll get right to it, laddie."

The hobbit insisted on reading the terms and conditions before he signed the contract and Fíli was amused to see Kíli rolling his eyes at Bilbo's fussiness.

Shortly after the contract was signed, Thorin stood up to council with Dwalin and Balin, sending a meaningful look at Fíli that was read by the entire company, who all began to chatter with forced nonchalance, dispersing about the house, until only Fíli remained at the table. Apparently the wizard was also on their side, taking Bilbo aside to talk to him, leaving Fíli and Kíli alone in the dining room.

Fíli stayed at the table alone, impossible ecstasy filling his heart when a certain dark haired dwarf sat down opposite him.

"So... you are my brother?"

Trying to read Kíli's measured tone, Fíli replied with a fond smile. "Yes, I am."

Kíli nodded, pausing for a moment. "And Thorin is my uncle, and the rightful King of Erebor?"

"Yes. Our mother, Dís, is his little sister." Fíli explained with pride.

"I see…" Kíli nodded slowly, before biting his lip. "What did Bilbo say? To make Thorin attack him?"

"I think my – our – uncle snapped when Bilbo asked him if he had beat you." Fíli recounted Bilbo's words and Kíli's eyes lit with understanding.

"Ah...I wondered if he had remembered." The dark haired dwarf murmured.

"Remembered what?" Fíli asked curiously, before wondering if he should have asked when his brother's eyes darkened.

"When I was young, when I first came to live here, I used to get nightmares, horrible ones. I would wake up screaming but I would never know why...I never did remember what I dreamed of. They went away after about two years, the nightmares, until one occasion that would have been..." Kíli looked up at the ceiling as he counted backwards, avoiding Fíli's gaze. "Eight years ago, now. I had a horrible nightmare, and for the first time in years I woke up screaming...It was the first nightmare I ever remembered, so I told Bilbo what happened..."

"What did happen?" Fíli murmured when the dark haired dwarf trailed off.

"I dreamt that a dwarf – Thorin – was striking me with a wooden shield over and over." Kíli said quietly. "I had never remembered his name before. "

Bilbo's hostile reaction to their arrival suddenly made sense to Fíli, and he murmured quietly. "That isn't what happened, I swear to you. I was there."

Kíli nodded absently, studying his brother with a curious gaze. "You're older?"

"Yes, I am." Fíli smiled back. "Five years older."

"Were…were we close?" Kíli asked in a small voice, and Fíli's heart broke.

He had lost his Kíli. Whether or not his brother's body still housed life, he had lost the dwarfling he sang to sleep, he had lost the brother that ran to him for anything and everything, he had lost his very best friend.

This Kíli Baggins was a stranger, and that cut Fíli deeply.

How could he tell this stranger how close they had been? Where would he find the words to describe their lost inseparability?

He did not even realise that he had closed his eyes. "We were close."

"I'm sorry…" Kíli murmured, regretfully. "I wish I could remember more…"

Fíli gave a sad smile. "Me too. Though I am very glad that you decided to join the company."

"Really?" Kíli's face broke into a friendly smile.

"I suppose the words 'very glad' are not truly sufficient…" Fíli mused. "'Unbelievably elated' is a little more accurate."

"I'm glad that you think so. Though I have to warn you, if Bilbo had not decided to come I would have remained here." Kíli's tone was so light, yet so serious at the same time. "I mean you no offense, I certainly don't want to hurt anyone, but I couldn't leave Bilbo behind for…"

As the younger dwarf's eyes flickered to the table and his cheeks burnt, Fíli finished the sentence.

"For strangers."

Kíli looked up, pained. "I shouldn't have said that, I didn't mean-"

"I understand." Fíli nodded with a comforting smile, though his brother's words hurt.

"Also, I'm a little worried that I'll be a hindrance." Kíli chewed on his lip nervously. "I don't know how to use a sword or an axe…I know only how to shoot."

Fíli grinned. "You're still shooting?"

"I am. I'm the best archer in the Shire." A familiar hint of cheeky pride pushed away Kíli's bashfulness.

"That's amazing." Fíli smiled genuinely. "And don't worry about being a hindrance, if the wizard thinks that Bilbo will be alright you will be fine. You both will be."

Kíli hesitated, before speaking with timid softness. "Maybe, if you had a little time, could you teach me a little sword work?"

Fili laughed. "Kíli, I will make time to teach you if you'd like it."

"Really?" Kíli's face broke into a wide grin "I would love that!"

"That's settled, then." Fíli declared, encouraged by his brother's smile. His voice dissolved into a wistful whisper that he did not mean to say aloud. "I've missed you so much..." Kíli glanced down at the table and Fíli swallowed. "I'm sorry-"

"You haven't done anything wrong." Kíli smiled sadly. "I'm the one who can't remember."

"That's not your fault." Fíli protested, and Kíli hesitated.

"Can I show you something?"

"Of course!"

Kíli stood up with a shy smile. "Follow me."

Fíli followed Kíli down the hall, noting the way his brother watched the dwarves with wary eyes, and the way he relaxed on seeing Bilbo talking quietly to the wizard.

"In here." Kíli offered, and Fíli instantly realised where he must be.

"Is this your room?"

His brother looked up from the search he had started. "What? Oh, yes, it is."

Fíli looked around, taking in the simplistic design of the room and the numerous possessions scattered about the place. When Kíli noticed, he blushed fiercely, kicking some of the knick-knacks under the bed.

"Sorry, it's a bit of a mess. I'm not particularly tidy..."

"You never were..." Fíli murmured without thinking, remembering little wooden toys biting his feet as he attempted to cross their bedroom floor.

Kíli paused for a moment, before bringing over a large, leather bound book. "I told you about my nightmares, but when I was small I also had dreams of faces... Three faces. But I didn't know if they were imaginary or memories. Anyway, my friend Esme and I, we used to spend hours and hours where I would describe the faces and she would draw them. It was the only thing that could keep us still for more than five minutes..."

Fíli took the book from his brother with a soft gasp. Staring out at him was his own face, his face as it had been the day before Kíli had been snatched away, the day before his eyes had grown dark. The incredible detail and life-like quality of the sketch was repeated in the neighbouring sketch of Thorin, and of their mother.

"These are amazing..." Kíli just smiled, and Fíli swallowed, pointing at Dis. "Do you know who this is?"

When Kíli should his head, he gave his brother an encouraging smile.

"It's our mother. Her name is Dis."

Kíli smiled at the portrait softly, his grin strengthening as Fíli turned the page.

Four laughing children waved up at Fíli, their arms all over each other's shoulders.

"Those are my best friends, Saradoc, Paladin and Esme, and that's me of course. They're all married now, Saradoc and Esme to each other but this was drawn by Saradoc's older brother about a week or so after I came to Bag End, so three weeks after Bilbo found me."

Fíli's chest tightened at the sketch of Kíli's laughing face.

Three after Kíli's disappearance, Fíli's eyes had been sunken and dark, and his smile had faded out of existence. There was no evidence of grief in the sketch, and a deeply buried seed of selfishness in Fíli's chest screamed in agony that Kíli had lived so happily without him whilst he had suffered every day since the river had taken his baby brother away.

Shaking away the destructive emotion, Fíli turned the page.

Once again his brother's young face beamed at him, the girl from the other page clinging to his back with her head resting on his shoulder so that their cheeks touched. "You were close to her...Esme?"

"I still am." Kíli grinned. "This is a copy of a painting her mother did for Paladin's birthday. He's Esme's brother."

The next page gave Fíli quite a shock.

While the last few sketches had been gently water coloured at the most, the next page was aflame with vibrant, almost violent colour. The peaceful scenes of the page before were also in contrast with the next picture. Kíli's image was frozen in its fall to the floor, a small girl attached to his front. A flaming tree stretched up behind him and a vague crowd were gathered around it. The intense detail of Kíli's terrified yet determined face drew all of Fíli's attention to his brother's expression.

"What is this?" He asked with wide eyes.

"There was an accident at a birthday party, I was trying to coax a girl named Rosa down from a tree and it caught on fire, so I grabbed her and jumped out. After that most of the Shire stopped hating me." When his brother offered no further explanation Fíli turned the page again, this time smiling a little himself.

Noting Fíli's expression, Kíli smiled. "We didn't know that this had been sketched until afterwards."

A slight younger yet unmistakeable Bilbo Baggins was dozing in an armchair, his head resting on Kíli's. The dwarfling was curled up in Bilbo's lap, his hand still holding onto Bilbo's dressing gown even in sleep.

The picture - no, the pictures, screamed peace and happiness, and as Fíli and Kíli worked slowly through the giant book, Fíli realised just how sheltered his brother's life had been, and just how careful they would need to be to ensure that that he would not get hurt again. Moments later, all thoughts for the road of head abandoned his mind to hide from the overwhelming craving to know all that he could about his brother's past.

It was more than interest; with each of Kíli's hilarious, tragic and downright strange stories Fíli learnt more and more about his brother's life, and with each laugh and sigh they shared the awkwardness ebbed away.

The final picture of the album, Kíli explained, depicted the individual faces of what he now referred to as his family - Kíli and Bilbo, Paladin and his wife, daughters and little son Pippin, Saradoc, Esme and the mischievous looking Merry, Adalgrim and Daisy and Drogo and Primula Baggins with their son Frodo.

"...but you're closest with Esme, Saradoc and Paladin?" Fíli clarified, and Kíli nodded fondly, before blurting out.

"What about you? Where do you live? What's it like there, what do you like?"

Fíli laughed at the sudden babble of questions and answered every one, describing his childhood home and then his humble little dwelling by the forge where he lived now. Most of his childhood stories involved Kíli himself - losing his brother had in many ways ended his childhood – but he told Kíli all he could think of, describing his mother, their uncle, their friends, his day to day life…

They spoke until their voices began to croak, and a low hum met Fíli's ears.

He grabbed Kíli's wrist without even thinking about it, putting a finger to his lips. "You will want to hear this."

As his brother followed in obedient silence, Fíli gently pushed him into the doorway of Bilbo's living room at the same time as Thorin started to sing the familiar song of home and hope.

"…the trees like torches, blazed with light."

Kíli was quiet for a long while after the song ended, and each dwarf noted his silent presence with a friendly smile.

When he did speak, his voice was almost breathless. "You can all help yourself to any of the guest rooms, you can use my room as well if you wish. It is very late, and I need to find Bilbo… I will see you in the morning."

Kíli disappeared into Bilbo's bedroom, closing the door behind him. The hobbit was sitting on the bed, staring into the fire.

Without speaking, Kíli sat on the bed and leant into Bilbo's side.

"It's gone midnight." Bilbo murmured. "I suppose the dwarves will be going to be soon."

Kíli nodded, pulling Bilbo into a crushing hug and burying his head in Bilbo's shoulder.

"I know that you're lost." Bilbo whispered. "Just hold on, we'll find you."

Kíli squeezed his hobbit tighter, remembering the conversation they had had with in the kitchen, directly after being asked if he wanted to join the quest.

"Excuse us, please?" Bilbo ushered a speechless Kíli out into the hall.

The dwarf spoke first. "You don't want to go, do you?"

Bilbo sighed. "No, I don't. Adventures are dangerous, in real life, and I'm not at all sure that I would not be more a hindrance than a help. But you want to go. And I think that you should."

Kíli gasped. "But-"

Bilbo interrupted Kíli, putting a hand on Kíli's shoulder. "Listen to me, Kíli; this has been plaguing me for months. I won't be around forever; few hobbits make it past a hundred. You, however, will live a lot longer than that. If you leave with them now, you stand to inherit a kingdom, after your brother, who has a lifespan much like yours. If you stay, you stand to inherit a hole in the ground."

Kíli's heart beat painfully fast in his chest and he gulped. "Bilbo, are...are you disowning me?"

"What? Of course not, confound it, Kíli that is not what I mean! I want you to be happy."

"I won't go." Kíli shook his head. "I won't go without you, I'll stay here and everything will be back to normal-"

"It won't be, though, will it? If you stay with me here, especially if only for my sake, you will regret it for your whole life. You will wonder where they were, you will have nothing but 'what ifs' in that funny little head of yours. You will always have a home here, in Bag End and in the Shire, but you also belong with them."

Kíli shook his head. "I'm afraid, Bilbo! In my dream, Thorin attacked me. What if they're-"

"You'll never know what they are unless you give them a chance. Did you not see the way that they look at you? They love you, Kíli."

"Don't you?"

"Of course, you funny little dwarf." Bilbo laughed softly, touching Kíli's face with his hand. "And I always will. You've been everything to me for twenty one years."

Kíli smiled himself for a moment, and then he shook his head. "I won't go without you, Bilbo. And as you don't want to go, I will be informing Thorin Oakenshield that we'll both be staying here."

"No!" Bilbo snapped. "You will do no such thing! It would not work if I came with you, I don't belong with a company of dwarves when I raised their kin without their knowledge, and you would break too many hearts - including your own - if you said no, so the only solution is for you to go!"

Kíli recoiled. "You...you want me to go?"

"Yes-no! Oh, this is too complicated for my liking!" Bilbo wanted to scream in frustration and Kíli shook his head.

"I won't go without you, Bilbo. I swear it."

Bilbo sighed. "Then we shall both just have to go. Who knows, it could be fun."

With a soft sigh, Kíli did something that he had not done in years, and the hobbit smiled as his dwarf curled up by his side and went to sleep.

I hope you enjoyed that! Also, in case it wasn't obvious, they sang the whole Misty Mountains song, but I'm pretty sure you'd be bored of reading the entire song. I just want to take a minute to explain that this story will NOT follow the movie OR book word for word, obviously :)

Kili's a little shy right now, here's to hoping he'll find his confidence in the next chapter, hey? If you fancy it, please leave a review, they literally make my day (as generic as that sounds)