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JPOV

"Yes! Yes! Jazzy…ugh…mmm…yes!" she shouts as she bounces up and down on my cock as if riding a horse in the derby. I can feel her pulsating around me and I know what she expects. I also know the complaints that will follow if I don't succeed.

I have to come.

Resorting to what excites me the most, I conjure up thoughts of men. I think about the hard bodies I see in the gym, their rippled muscles and strong forms, but still nothing. I even try to think of my best friend, Jake-but as hot as he is-I can't think of him that way. We've known each other too long.

It's then that I let my mind take me to the dream guy that visits me in my sleep at nights. It all started a week ago after another disastrous round of sex with Alice. She was cuddled into me as we slept–her idea, not mine–and I had drifted off.

He was before me in a meadow. I don't know why, but being here put me at ease. It was as if I had been here many times before. Lying there naked, I let the sun warm my skin as I felt my cock hardening while watching his lean yet muscular physique approach me. His naked form was as enticing as the mischief shimmering in his green eyes as he strolls toward me. It always surprised me how fast he got to where I was across the meadow, but nevertheless, I was happy as he crawled up the length of my body.

Reaching out, I roughly pulled his face to mine, smashing our lips together. Immediately, I worked my tongue into his mouth and massaged it with my own as he ground his hips into mine. I reciprocated by thrusting up into him, letting our engorged cocks rub against each other. As we break apart, only our eyes remained on one another as he rose to his knees and began preparing himself for me. I adamantly watched as his length bounced up and down against his stomach, each time he pushed back against his fingers. Allowing him to push me to the ground, I lay there enthralled by the sight of him as he lifted his hips and guided me into him.

One thing that always bothered me about the dream was that I could never see his face clearly, his eyes were always pronounced, but his face was a blurry mystery. Each time I tried to look at it, he would shift and the sun would then glare into my eyes, forcing me to close them. He always rode me hard as I lay back, gliding my hands up and down his strong body. I would place my hands on his hips, pushing him down on me and groaning as his tight hole trapped my dick into him. We would give over to our passion and when we reached our pinnacle, we would soar over the edge together with him shouting his love for me. He would always lie against me, whispering, "I love you, Jasper."

Right now, he's on top of me, not Alice. It's his deep voice that's moaning my name. It's his strong thighs that grip mine as he rides me. I grab a hold of him and thrust up, hard. I flip him over and wildly pump my cock into him while he hollers and begs for more. Between his voice and the movement of his body, my orgasm then rockets through me. However, what hurts the most is that when I finally open my eyes, I'm not greeted with the sight of him instead it's Alice's face and lips that are on mine.

With a sigh, I ease myself out of her, falling back against my pillow and closing my eyes.

"Oh, Jazzy, that was fantastic," she says. "See, a little bit of me day by day and you'll forget all about this silly gay business." My skin crawls as she absentmindedly circles my nipple with her finger, but I say nothing.

"Excuse me," I reply, getting up abruptly and walking naked to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.

The man in the mirror looks far older than his twenty-nine years. I'm tired of these lies and I really don't know how much more I can take. Thinking about going back out there, plus the party we have to get ready for, has my head spinning and my breath shallow. Knowing this feeling all too well, I use my breathing mantra to calm my nerves.

The one thing I regret is that I didn't grab my phone when I'd gotten up. There's only person I want to talk to right now, and it's Jake. However, knowing I'll see him in a few hours makes me breathe easier. This party will be held by my parents and since Jake's family are business of associates of them, I can count on his presence to help me get through this. One thing, I'm sure of, is that wherever Jake is, Alice won't be since she despises him.

For the life of me, I still don't know why Alice insists on us sleeping together, and whenever I refuse, she always pouts and complains to my mother like a five year old that I don't want to fuck her.

She as well as my parents knows that she's the last thing I'm interested in. Yet, they persist because they believe if I stay away from it long enough then there's a possibility that I'll change my mind. All they want to do is avoid and bury the truth that I've known about myself since I was sixteen years old.

I'm gay.

I mean, yea, sure I can fuck her and even other girls too but what I truly want is a hard body against my own instead of a soft one. My family knows the burden I bear, but for reasons I'll never understand, they choose not to accept this about me. I'll never change who I am so instead I hurt more and more every time I see them, and they act as if the day I came out to them, never happened.

It's a memory that replays in my head repeatedly as a reminder of their irrelevance and of my cowardly attitude toward my own happiness. After learning the truth about me, the facade of being straight was quickly put in place, and Alice was thrown on my arm. At first, I thought that she would understand and at least play along for their eyes only while the peace of mind of living my own life, but no, she's worse. She denies it even more than my own mother.

There are very few people who know the truth about me-a public relation executive as a mother has never been such a pain in the ass-and who are on my side. They're who I count on to keep sane in this hell. My grandfather, Jonathan Whitlock, my best friend since kindergarten, Jacob Black, and Marcus and Irina Volturi. The Volturis' have been close friends with our family since we were all children. Marcus and I are the same age while Irina is a year younger. Mother favors Marcus over Irina–always have had–as Marcus is more placating than his sister. Irina is more outspoken, and hasn't got one fearful bone in her body.

I wish I had her strength.

Some may ask why bother to listen to my parents and remain in the closet, but I'll simply answer, Business. Grandpa Jon is dad's father and most of the wealth in our family comes from the Whitlock name. We're well known in the oil business, yet, Mother's wealth is not to be denied. She's an executive who works with the best of the best in public relations. The largest companies in fashion tend to seek her out for her guidance and advice.

She is a woman of power who only sees her gay son as a flaw in her perfect design. The reality of my sexuality doesn't show good face for the family and business she argues whenever the topic comes up. You may think I'm coward, but it isn't so. I've tried, and have failed in every attempt to do this quietly. To leave my closet behind and admit to the world that I'm gay, but Mother always there to remind me of the shame and disgrace I'll bring to the Whitlock name.

Grandpa Jon on the other hand, only sees me as his grandson and nothing more. I always feel at ease whenever I'm around him. He just makes the atmosphere lighter and easier to breathe in. With him, I can be myself around him.

While Jacob is another story. He's this fun loving and easygoing guy, who loves to joke around with me every chance he gets. Sometimes, I'll ask him why, why doesn't it bother him that I'm gay? And he only says, "Because you're my best friend and all I want is for you to be happy." Jake has always been my safety net at my parents' parties. Mother detests his attitude and has being trying for years to get me to stop hanging out with him, but this only helps to strengthen our friendship. I'll never let go of Jake and he says, he'll never leave me to the wolves.

Alice hates Jake as much as he hates her. It makes me laugh whenever they're around one another. She looks like a feral cat about to attack, while Jake growls at her like a rabid dog. It's a sight to behold.

Jake is responsible for a lot of my experiences, and I'll forever be grateful as I don't know where I would've been without him.

He took me to my first gay club and danced with me, when I got scared and wanted to chicken out. He stayed there on the dance floor with me, bumping and grinding along with me until we got the attention of the others.

He was there for me after I had sex with a man for the first time. When I called, he came over and held me while I cried. I had topped as I still do, but the experience was overwhelming and I was filled with so much emotion that I couldn't process it without help, and the first person that came to mind was him. I couldn't share that with my grandfather so the next best thing was Jake.

I would've questioned his sexuality if I didn't know how straight he is. Jacob loves women. He doesn't discriminate or pass judgment. Girls are girls to him. He loves them all, some sour, some sweet he says. If I could get him a harem for his next birthday, he would worship me.

The drive to my parents' party is daunting as Alice's chatter is like nails on a chalkboard. I try to increase my speed-hoping to get there fast-but seeing that this is New York, I'll just have to make do with traffic. Thankfully, we arrive in time and without incident. As soon as we walk into the grand ballroom, and I try to make my escape to go in search of Grandpa-who's come up from Texas-or Jake, who's probably charming the panties off of some girl, but unfortunately, I'm stopped by my mother and father.

Dad greets me while Mother immediately analyses my choice of wardrobe for the night. She is satisfied with the grey Gucci suit and white crisp dress shirt even with the black silk tie to match, but she hates the black boots. She's quick to ask if I'm attending the rodeo and Father only polishes it off as me trying to help Grandpa feel comfortable since he's wearing similar footwear.

The mention of him makes me inquire about his whereabouts before walking off without another word to them to find him. My search takes me to the bar where I spot him and Jake in deep conversation. Without breaking stride or losing his place in the discussion, Grandpa holds out a glass of whiskey for me to take upon my approach and I do so, thanking him.

Once their discussion ends, I greet Jake while Grandpa tells me that I look like I needed a drink, to which I nod my head in confirmation. I watch as Jake scans the crowd, unfortunately-following his eyes-I see that they land on Alice. His smirk lets me know he's up to no good before he whispers, "Watch this." before walking off toward her direction.

Alice is at the moment trying to suck up to Marcus and Irina Volturi. With Mother backing Alice's fashion endeavors, she's no doubt sent Alice on a mission to get the Volturi siblings to invest in her up and coming line. Irina is known for her fashion franchise which is ran by her and her life partner, Jane, while her brother, Marcus handles the monetary investments from companies interested in investing with the family's business.

Father bought shares a while back into their company so they've been to a lot of our gatherings. Usually, Marcus would be here with his wife, Didyme, but since she's pregnant with their second child, she's unable to travel from California to attend our soiree in New York.

"So, how are you boy?" Grandpa asks.

"I'm better now."

"That's good," he replies with a solemn expression. "You know, Jasper, it wouldn't hurt to let this go you know, why keep up with charade?"

"Because it's for the good of the family and there are certain things that are expected of me that cannot be fulfilled if I disgrace the Whitlock name with my ideas as Mother would say."

He frowns before responding, "Please don't refer to anything that woman says, boy." He downs the last of his whiskey as Jacob returns with a broad smile on his face and chuckling.

"Did you two see that?" he asks, pointing in Alice's direction. Looking over, I notice her glaring at us and arguing with my mother.

"What did you do now?" I ask, afraid of the answer. Jacob has never been one to use discretion at these things. He'd rather cause a commotion instead of diffusing one. Such as his seventeenth birthday party when his mother and some guests–myself included–found him in the kitchen with the caterer's legs wrapped around him as he fucks her on the counter. His response that night was that he was congratulating her on a job well done and thanking her for her service.

"I walked up, greeted her and plant one right on her cheek," he offers, though I knew there was more.

"And?" Grandpa prompts, knowing Jake all too well.

"Oh, I may have smacked her on the ass afterward," he says, waving his hand dismissively.

"Oh shit," I groan. "You know how much shit you just got me into? Now she won't shut up about it when I drive her home."

His eyes grow angry at my chastisement. "Well, if you'd just man the fuck up and drop this fucking bullshit about pleasing mommy and daddy's asses, then you wouldn't be in that mess with the little bitch!" Jake whisper yells before storming off.

Grandpa says nothing, only shakes his head sadly before walking off. I quickly follow him, apologizing, "Gramps, I'm sorry."

He stops and pulls me along with him to a secluded corner where no one can hear us. "Jasper, don't apologize to me, son, it's you I'm worried about," he expresses. "I don't want to leave this Earth knowing that my only grandchild is unhappy with his life."

"Grandpa, I…"

"No, Jasper, you're twenty nine years old, you're smart, and sure you may think that the family business isn't for you, but I hope if teaching fails to fulfill your dreams then you will find that happiness in our company," he says before pulling me into a hug.

I return it before replying, "You ain't going anywhere, Old man." He laughs out and we rejoin the party together.

The night was going smoothly until Mother decided to join Marcus, Jacob and I as we were deep in conversation.

"Ah, here you are, Jasper, Marcus." She purposely fails to greet Jacob and the smirk on Jake's face tells me it's because of what happened earlier on with Alice.

"Marcus, I'm so glad you could make it," she says.

"I wouldn't miss it," Marcus replies with a smile.

She reaches for Marcus's hand while her other hand remains around my waist. "Oh, I'm so sorry that Didyme couldn't make it. How is she and the little one?" she asks as she eyes me. I know that stare, something is coming.

"It's been a trying time for her. This pregnancy is unlike the previous one," he responds. "It has left her very sickly. Jane has taken it upon herself to stay by her side until our return home."

Mother bristled at the mention of Jane, but covers it well with her familiar fake smile I know her to have. I internally rejoiced for Marcus's response and his use of Irina's wife in the conversation.

Marcus knows of my preference as I'd had a short fling with his cousin, Felix. Though, it ended, my link to the family hasn't and Marcus has continued to remain a good friend of mine. He's almost like the big brother I never had. Like Grandpa and Jacob, Marcus is all for me coming out of the closet officially, and not hiding behind my parents' facade.

Why couldn't I have the strength that the people who love me do?

My joy is short lived as Alice walks up along with the Masens', and promptly wraps her arm around mine and kisses my cheek much to Jake's eye roll. The Masens' are good friends of my mother as Mother and Julie Masen are sorority sisters. They're very wealthy, mostly old money, and have only one child. However, when asked about him, they say that he's studying abroad.

"Don't they make a lovely couple, Marcus," my mother compliments. "I hope that one day soon I can be as joyous as you when I get grandchildren." Her eyes remain on me as she takes Marcus's hand.

"I'm sure, however possible, you'll get those grandchildren someday," Marcus replies, his eyes also on me. However, the only thing I see is my mother's and her commands not to embarrass the family come back. I see and feel that day clearly when the slap from her reddened my cheek because I told them that I was gay. In that moment, I can feel my throat tighten, my heart racing and even the room is spinning. Their voices are overlapping in my head and I feel faint.

I have to leave.

"Excuse me." I turn and walk away without another word to any of them, and quickly make my way to the doors, I needed air. I couldn't breathe.

Grandpa's hand grabs me at the entrance way and tells me to be careful before letting me walk out. I vaguely hear my name being called behind me, but I don't answer. The valet thankfully brings my vehicle around fast enough and I practically jump into the driver's seat as he exits it. I think I told him thanks, but I'm not sure.

After leaving, I aimlessly drove through the streets of New York. I can't stop until I'm far away from them. I'd turn off my phone long ago to stop the screeching of the ringtone, and now, I'm just wandering around trying to clear my mind.

When I finally become aware of my surrounds, I realize that I'm a bit lost.

Where am I? I ask myself as the different women and men who are scantily dressed come into view. Once I realize that I'm in the red light district, a funny thought comes to me.

Down here, I'm definitely far out of their reach all right.

I watch as other cars slowly drive by while the some stop, and have hookers at their windows.

Not wanting to be here any longer, I start to speed up, but before I can get out of there, he comes into view. He's breathtaking. I can feel my heart skip a beat as my cock twitches in my pants at the sight of him.

He's beautiful.

Dressed in a white t-shirt and faded jeans, he stands there laughing with a girl and when he steps out under the streetlight, it only proves to help me see his beauty even more. I slow to a stop and watched them interact. They seem to be friends and as I watch them, I still can't get over how staggeringly handsome he is.

Tall, lean yet with a muscular physique with a delectable ass I get to see better when he leans forward to whisper something in her ear. My cock is hard and pushing against the seam of my pants waiting to be freed from its confines. All I think about when I look at him, is how can I get him into my bed?

How can you? You do know where you are right? Who knows how many diseases he probably has?

No! That's my upbringing speaking and this isn't about them right now, it's about me and I want him. I drive my car down to where they are and pull to a stop, lowering the window a bit.

My heart pounds as I watch them take notice, and then whisper something to each other before the wrong person saunters over to me.

The girl.

"Hi," she says, seductively. I admit up close her beauty is unmeasured. Her high cheeks, shimmering eyes and cunning smile are indeed appealing as is her body as I watched her walk over, but I need him.

"Hi darlin'." I don't know why my southern drawl chose to come to the surface but it does, so I just move forward with it.

"What can I do for you tonight, handsome?" she asks as her eyes move up and down my body before meeting my blue eyes once more.

"Well, I hope you won't be offended by my request, but I would like to talk to your friend for a minute?" She looks indifferent and then eyes him before looking back to me. "Hold on cutie." She then strolls toward him and I see him questioning her.

She points to the car, and he says something else before walking over to me. My heartbeat quickens as he takes his steps forward. My heart stops when he bends down to the window–which I've now lowered fully–and says, "Hi, I'm Tony."


Up next: Meet Edward

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