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Song inspiration is The Fray "Look After You"
JPOV
"Alright then, class, please read up on pages 14 and 15 some more and in our next lecture we will be discussing General Macgruder's role in the Civil War. See you next class," I tell my students before dismissing them. As they head out, I gather my things, ready to go back to my office with the intention of going for lunch. The only thing is that I can't decide whether or not I want to go out for lunch or just grab something from the cafeteria.
Luckily, when I arrive at my office, Jake's appearance outside the door solves the issue. My eyes light up at the bag in his hand, holding our favorite, Gray's Papaya Hot Dogs.
"Well, well, well, he's alive," he says with a smile as I walk up to him, unlocking my door to let us both in. He moves in before me, walking around my desk and taking a seat in my chair. I throw my bag and notes down on my desk and drop in the seat on the other side. He takes the hot dogs out the bag and then crumples it up, throwing it at my chest.
With a laugh at his antics, I reply to his question, "Yep, he is, he just had to get out of there for a minute."
He nods sincerely before taking a huge bite of his lunch and asking, "So, where did you go, Jas?"
"Nowhere," I mutter.
"Nowhere, where?" he insists.
"Just…umm…nowhere. I basically went for a drive to clear my mind that's all, okay?" I'm suddenly feeling a bit defensive. One thing I really don't want to share with him, is the fact that I'd bought a male prostitute and practically fucked him all night.
"Okay, who is he and where did you meet him?"
"What the fuck Jake, come on." He's not gonna let this go. Fuck!
"What?" he asks, incredulously. "You've got an I've-just-been-fucked-glow on you."
"No, I don't," I reply, pouting.
"Yeah, you do." He laughs.
"Shut up," I mumble taking another bite of my food and trying to ignore him.
"Oh, come on, Jas, just tell me who he is and I'll stop fucking with you," he offers.
I know I can't tell him the truth, but maybe I can share enough with him to make him stop bugging me.
"Alright, I met someone after I left last night," I tell him. "He was…it was great to have someone to talk to and he was just there and one thing led to another, and …"
"You fucked his brains out after your nice chat," Jake concludes.
"Damn, Jake, you gotta be so vulgar about it? Jesus, man, a little finesse please."
"Alright, girlfriend, don't get your panties in a bunch. I'll tone it down a bit for your sensitive ears," he teases.
Even though I jumped all over Jake I can't help but inwardly smirk. I mean I did fuck his brains out and being with him was the greatest sex I'd ever had. I'd never felt so alive with someone. I could have gone all night. The way his body molded to mine, his sighs, his moans, his screams, even here in my office while having lunch with my best friend, I can still feel his strong hands on me. Gripping me while he pleads with me to give him more of me. Fuck him harder. It pained me to leave his body each time after we'd cum.
I didn't want to let go.
By the time Jake's voice snaps me back to the present, complaining about his big brother Sam being in town with his wife, Emily, I've come to the decision that as soon as I can, I'm going back to that spot downtown and finding Tony.
Jake and I talk about everything and nothing. But, I know he's most likely here because he's doing everything to avoid spending any time with Sam so I oblige him.
Sam seems like a good guy, but we, who know him best, know that it's all an act. The only reason he wants to hang with Jake is to get the opportunity to cheat on Emily. Whenever they visit New York from their home in Chicago, he gets to go out and find some new girl to fuck. Sometimes, even two or three.
He despises me because as kids he used to pick on Jake a lot and I always tried to defend Jake. So when he learned that I was gay, it became the perfect thing he could use against me and Jake. Whenever I'm around, it becomes the perfect moment for him to start spewing shit about "the gays" as he loves to say or about God and how wrong we all are and that we will be going to hell for we're doing.
Over the years, I've learned to just ignore him because if I'm already living a lie what's one more derogatory comment gonna do to me. I have enough on my plate. I'm already being held hostage in a closet built by my parents and continue to be held prisoner in there due to obligations to my family. Grandpa may say that he wishes me the best and will be okay with whatever my decision in life is because he's only concerned about my happiness. However, this company, our wealth is our family's fortune and his pride and joy. I simply can't let my choices in life affect that or cause it to fall.
Mom has explained what happens to some businesses especially ones ran by families and what it takes to keep everything looking pretty for the press and general public. She constantly points out how a single scandal can harm investments, and that's very bad for business.
Our arguments have been endless, but each time she puts her point across, I find merit in them. So I will not be responsible for crushing my legacy because my sexual preferences. If I have to, I will stay hidden forever. Some may not agree with me, but they can't understand the pressure I face. The parents I have; I'm trapped inside a closet that they hold a key to.
Jake leaves after a while, promising to check up on me later on. He's glad that I found some sort of release last night and hopes that I'll see this "Tony" again. Earlier on, my mind was made up to go and find him but now that I've considered some things, it doesn't seem like the best idea right now.
The day finishes out with my mind in and out of it. All of my thoughts are jumbled between wanting to see Tony again and paying for his services for another night and on my family.
He'd told me that no one says thanks and hearing that pains my heart.
Why was he out there? Is he a kid who came out to his parents and they rejected him? Who is he, really?
The elevator dings on my floor and I jump in fright at the sight of the pixie before me when the doors open.
"Alice," I say, moving around her to get to my door.
"Where the hell were you?" she shrieks. "You just walked out of the party and didn't come back! I was calling you, and your phone was off, all NIGHT!" Her voice is the last thing I need at the moment, but it's not like I can tell her to be quiet because that would only cause her to shout some more.
"I needed to leave," I tell her while making my way inside and to my kitchen to put down the takeout food I've bought. I have no intention of cooking so I just ordered some Chinese–at least enough for three people–and picked it up on the way home.
Originally, I'd plan on just eating something then heading into the shower for a quick bath, and just jumping in bed and sleeping until morning. Since I'd make the decision not to go and see if Tony was out there tonight too, then I would've hopefully dreamt of my beautiful green eyed boy again.
However, Alice is now here ruining that.
"Do you know how furious your mother was with you? It took your father and I hours to calm her down," she chides. "That was very rude of you, baby." She moves in close, wrapping her hands around my waist from behind as I brace against the counter, and I can feel her wandering hands trailing down to my crotch.
"Stop!" I order her, spinning around and grabbing her tiny wrists in my hands. "Don't do that," I warn her.
"What?" she screams, sounding agitated by my move. "I can't touch my boyfriend!"
The mention of this facade sends me into a rage. "Listen to me, and try to hear me this time, Alice. I am NOT your boyfriend." I know my eyes are blazing as I stare at her because I feel as if they're about to pop out of my head.
"Oh really?" she laughs. "So what are we then? Hmm, Jasper, we fuck, we date. So what are we?"
"We are nothing. You climb on top of my cock and ride it and if I tell you no, then you run and complain to my mother like a five year old. We don't date. We go to events where my parents will be. I want nothing to do with you. I'm only here playing your silly game because I respect my parents." I hear my own voice crackling and I turn away from her in fear of her seeing my tears.
"Whatever, Jasper," she dismisses. "It's now seven o'clock and you have one hour to meet your mother and I at the Russian Tea Room for dinner and she's expecting your full apology. As for your little speech, to hell with that. You are whatever we say you are." With that said, she leaves.
I wander into my shower and in there, I cry as I prepare myself for a grueling dinner with Mother. Once out, shaved and dried off, I make sure to wear something formal–nice dress pants, shoes to match and a dress shirt–to please her, even though I don't want to go. I just can't take the argument, disapproving looks, and snide comments right now that would come.
I'm too tired.
Jake calls me while I'm in the car and I tell him where I heading and why. He's furious, telling me to turn around and go home, but he then says that he knows I won't follow his order and says to call him when I get back home. He offers to come over if I need someone to talk to. I ask him if he doesn't have anything more important to do, trying to cheer myself up but he replies that nothing is more important than his best friend. Nonetheless, he begs me to turn around once more before hanging up.
I'm now outside the restaurant, but I can't get out of the car. I can't move. It's as if I've lost all command over my body. My mind knows where I'm supposed to be but my body refuses to follow its order.
All I can think about is that I would rather be anywhere but here right now, and it's with that thought in mind, I pull back into traffic.
Tony didn't know that I'd set the route to his spot with On Star after he left the car. And even with warnings, I drive down the path I unknowingly took last night as my mind and body relaxes at the thought of seeing him again.
Again, like last night, there are cars down here, some cruising by and others parked while the driver negotiates a deal with a hooker. I'm not sure if he's here, hell, I'm praying that a guy I've just met last night will be here so that I can pay him to make me feel better.
But I need him. I don't know what I'm feeling and at the moment, I don't care. I just know that I need him.
I spot his friend first, standing in their spot looking around. She spots my car, and I follow her eyes and swift movements she makes as she walks forward toward a parked car.
What I see next makes my breath stop. Tony is before me and he's about to get in someone else's car. My beautiful boy is about to give himself to someone else. I'm not sure what comes over me, but I see red and all I feel is rage and jealousy.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
His friend makes it over to him before he can get the next foot in the car and she practically pulls him from it. He looks at her confused and angry for a second before she points to my car.
They seem to be arguing before she pulls him behind her over to my car.
I lower the window as she approaches and before she can say anything I unlock the door. She opens it, and Tony gets in. "I'm Jasper," I tell her and she looks at him before a small smile graces her face and she replies, "Well, Jasper, I'm Tanya."
"Nice to meet you, Tanya."
"Likewise," she says before turning her attention to Tony who's staring at her dumbstruck and says, "I'll see you in the morning."
He nods and she gives him a quick peck on the cheek before shutting the door and walking off back to her spot.
I pull away and we drive back to my place in a comfortable silence. He visibly relaxes and with just being beside him, I feel like I can breathe again.
We repeat our routine from last night by getting out of the car and making our way up to my loft. Once inside, I turn to lock the door. When I turn back around he moves close to me with a serious expression before he surprises me with a soft kiss on my lips.
He goes to pull away and I grip his neck bringing his mouth back to mine. I suck and nip at his bottom lip and when he opens his mouth to me, I move my tongue along his own. My mouth devours his in a smoldering kiss before we part.
We lean against one another as we pant out our much needed breaths. And when he finally opens his shimmering green eyes to me, they seem to glow as he says in a whisper, "My name is Edward."
Next up: Edward's pov-Chapter will be up in a little bit and you'll see how Edward is in the place he needs to be when Jasper shows up.
