The first memory she ever had was her father holding her in his arms and whispering to her "You are named for my father, the greatest Fire Lord the Fire Nation has ever seen."
That little fact was the pride and joy of her young life (the jealousy on her brother's face was just a plus).
She was named for the Fire Lord himself, a man respected by the whole of the nation. She watched him whenever she could catch a glimpse of the man himself. He entered a room and everyone within went silent. They bowed deeply as Azulon would strut across the room with his arms folded behind his back. Azula would peak up to see him with his chin high and his eyes forward, as if the other people in the room didn't exist.
He oozed power with every step he took.
Azula knew from then on that she wanted the power he had. She wanted her mere presence to bring people to complete silence. She wanted to rule.
So she approached her father about learning firebending at only five-years-old. Within a week, the best firebending teachers in the land were at her door-step, ready to train her like a soldier would be trained. They woke her at dawn and trained her until the sun had finally set. The work was hard, the training arduous, and more than once she wanted to cry at the pressure of it all. But then she breathed in, wiped away her tears, and visualized breathing out smoke through her nostrils.
She even started before Zuko. He only started because she had.
Dum-dum.
He cried, he moaned, he complained about having to wake early in the morning for training he only wanted because he wanted to prove to everyone that he was as good as Azula. But to be completely honest—
No one is as good as Azula.
She knew that and the more he failed, the more she thrived. And then one day, she breathed in and felt the energy filling up her body. And as she exhaled, she lunged forward and brilliant orange flames emerged from her fists. The rush of fire coming from her was like nothing she had ever experienced. She created it, she made it herself. It came from her.
It was her.
She never ceased to impress her father, and she knew she would always have his approval. She was certain of herself, secure in her talent.
Yet, when she caught those rare glimpses of Azulon, she found that her fire wasn't as strong. It faltered when she felt his presence. So she worked harder because there is no way she would fail in front of the Fire Lord.
No way in hell.
She pushed herself harder every time he was around and though her mother insisted she take a break, she knew her father understood. She could see it in him as well, a great desire to please the Fire Lord. She let her father push her harder because they both understood.
Power must come first.
Of course, once in a while, her mother would win over. Like one spring day when Azula was only seven-years-old. Her mother managed to coax her into having lunch and tea with her and Zuko. Azula ate quickly, stepping away before her mother even excused her. She ran out of the room, heading towards the courtyard to practice. But just as she walked onto the walkway, she heard voices.
She looked to her left to see Azulon and Ozai standing together, talking.
Azula retreated back, hiding behind the wall. She peaked around it, but she was out of earshot of their conversation. She could tell that her father was imploring Fire Lord Azulon, asking him for something eagerly.
Suddenly, Azulon slapped Ozai across the face.
"You are an insolent child! You always have been!" Azulon hissed at Ozai, who could only stare at the ground, "The only reason you are still alive is because Ilah somehow found it in her to love you, Agni bless her soul!"
Ozai looked up to his father again, trying to speak once more.
"Do not insult me more with your apologies, boy!" Azulon snapped, cutting his son off, "Silence yourself before I break my last promise to my wife." Then the Fire Lord tears himself away from Ozai, folding his hands behind his back and walking away calmly like he didn't just threaten his son's life.
Ozai watched Azulon go until he is out of sight. Then he sat down on a stone bench, staring at the wall in front of him. He was silent, his body steady and his eyes calm.
But his hands, folded together, were shaking.
Azula stares at her father, her strong, confident father, and she was shocked . She stepped out, running up to him, meeting his eyes. She placds her small hands on his and said to him "Grandfather is an idiot, Dad."
Ozai smiled at Azula, "You are very right, Azula."
She smiled back at Ozai as for the first time in her life, her beliefs started to shift. She could feel the understanding with her father changing too, as she finds she disagreed with him now. The goal was no longer to please Azulon.
The goal is to be better than him.
