Thank you sooo much to my amazing reviewers, followers and favouriters (that's not a word but oh well) you guys absolutely rock! I'm really happy that some of you thought last chapter was my best yet – I'll try to top it but I'm not sure this chapter quite makes the cut for the 'best chapter' running. I wrote it and then rewrote bits of it, so I hope that you'll enjoy. It's mega long (sorry? You're welcome? I don't know what chapter length you guys like and a lot happened in this one but it seemed like the right place to end it when I did so let me know) We shall see ;)
Title chapter is inspired by a line in the song 'Stars' from Les Miserables, it just seemed to fit - kind of :P I really struggle naming chapters, actually :P
I'm sorry for any mistakes in this chapter as ever :)
Read. Enjoy. Review.
Chapter Seventeen # Those Who Falter, Those Who Fall #
It was safe to say that Kíli was having the worst day of his entire life.
"I thought you said Azog was dead!" he hissed at Fíli, well aware that his wide eyes were giving away his fear to his brother, who seemed equally terrified.
"Thorin always said he was!" Fíli replied desperately, staring at Thorin as if he half-expected him to do something foolish like climb out of the tree and fight the Pale Orc and White Warg right there.
Kíli groaned slightly and shifted his position in the tree, clutching a hold of Bilbo's hand tightly in a way he had not since his first trip to Bree with Bilbo about two years after he arrived in the Shire. It was his first memorable experience of big folk, and the child had clung to the hobbit as if his life depended on it.
Now that the White Warg stalked closer, loosening his grip on Bilbo's hand was the last thing that Kíli wanted to do.
"It cannot be!" Thorin's whisper from a few trees down reached Kíli's ears easily, and Azog grinned a sickening grin that sent shivers down Kíli's beaten spine.
Harsh words tore from Azog's lips and the wargs bounded closer with horrifying howls, leaping up towards the dwarves perched precariously in the branches of the tall trees.
Kíli let out a strangled cry as a particularly large warg came a little too close to Fíli's boots and threw his arm over the next branch up, dragging Bilbo with him as he hoisted himself higher. As soon as he had supported himself amongst the branches he wrapped his legs around Fíli's chest, lifting his brother up and ignoring the screaming pain in his back.
Luckily, Fíli's tree climbing skills were only poor, not abysmal, and he was quick to scramble into a safer position with his brother's help, a breathless offering of thanks escaping his lips.
Another warg jumped at their tree and to Kíli's horror the giant pine tree creaked. Baying excitedly, the wargs set about trying to push the trees over and it was just Kíli's luck that their cruel plan worked.
"No, no, no!" Bilbo yelped as roots of their tree were ripped from the ground and they began falling towards the tree holding several others.
"Jump!" Kíli yelled automatically before doing so himself, dragging Bilbo with him whether the hobbit was ready or not. He was not going to watch his father fall, not again. Fíli jumped with him and they landed painfully but safely into the next tree, with Dori, Ori, Óin and Glóin helping them to shift their position on the branches of their much stockier oak tree.
Angered by the escape of their prey, the wargs launched themselves off of the ground, grabbing at huge branches of the oak tree and reaching up with their claws to swat at the startled dwarves and hobbit.
"Kíli, get up!" Bilbo yelled in terror, and Kíli's heart instantly began pounding twice as fast as his already racing heartbeat.
"B-"
"You're the best climber, go!" Fíli sided with the hobbit, pressing himself against the tree's thick trunk in an effort to not get eaten.
Kíli gave a grim nod and began to scramble up the tree further, stopping short when Bilbo's arm reached its full length.
"Kíli, let go, get up there!" Bilbo cried, flinching away from a warg who appeared to be getting closer every time it jumped. As Kíli shook his head, the hobbit's voice softened. "Let go, Kíli, I'll be right there. I promise."
Swallowing, Kíli nodded, but his fingers refused to detach themselves from Bilbo's hand.
"Please, Kíli!" Fíli begged as the branch he was standing on began to shake.
It was too late.
The two brothers screamed in unison as the bough Fíli stood on was ripped out from the tree, and Kíli's world stopped as his brother flew through the air, landing in a crumpled heap at the base of a large pine tree. Any boughs within Fíli's reach had already been torn from the tree by the vicious wolves, leaving Kíli's big brother with no means of escape.
"Fíli!" Kíli cried desperately as his brother struggled to right himself and the wargs howled excitedly.
Fíli's swords appeared in his hands as nine enormous wargs prowled towards him and Azog began to laugh a sickeningly hearty laugh.
There was no way that Fíli would survive a battle against nine wargs, not alone, and it was Kíli's fault that he was even in a position to have to try. If he had just let go of Bilbo, Fíli could have moved and-
"Azog!" Thorin roared, leaping down from the very pine tree Fíli was under, Orcrist glowing in his hands. As Thorin stepped in front of Fíli regally, the wargs hesitated, before prowling closer again. "Call off your dogs; fight me yourself, you coward!"
Kíli watched with wide eyes as the Pale Orc barked out a single order.
All nine wargs lunged at Fíli, attempting to bypass Thorin to get to his golden haired heir. Even as Kíli screamed in denial, Thorin whirled around and stabbed Orcrist into the thick bark of the tree and grabbing Fíli's tunic, forcing his nephew to use the sword as a step and scramble up into the tree, aided by Dwalin and Gandalf.
"Thorin!" Kíli, Fíli and Dwalin all cried in horrified unison as the wargs lurched for their leader, but another bark from Azog stopped them in their tracks.
Slowly they skulked backwards, retreating with guttural growls to form two solid walls either side of Thorin like a grotesque pathway straight to the Pale Orc, who leant back on the White Warg as if daring Thorin to charge at him.
"Bilbo…" Kíli whispered, a low, loud creaking noise the only other sound.
"I'm here." Bilbo murmured back, squeezing Kíli's hand lightly.
"Bilbo, I think we're going to die here…"
No sooner had the words left Kíli's mouth, the creaking noise turned into a cracking noise which turned into a crashing noise, which was the only warning the young dwarf received before a branch smashed into his already bleeding back.
With a scream of agony Kíli's hand tore from Bilbo's and he fell with the bough, only just managing to grab a hold of the branch directly below it before he tumbled right out of the tree. Making the mistake of looking down, Kíli discovered that not only was he hanging out of the tree, but he was also hanging over the edge of the mountain.
"Kíli!"
Kíli squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the incredible pain searing across his back where the branch had crashed into and scraped against his still agonising lash wounds. His entire body dangled in the air and tears began to seep through his closed eyes onto his cheeks.
"Kíli!" Bilbo's strangled cry drew Kíli's head upwards and he offered his hobbit a weak smile.
"I'm alright... I can hold on..."
Bilbo's pale face turned back towards Thorin, and with horror Kíli realised that his uncle had begun to charge at Azog.
He can do this... Kíli tried to convince himself. He's an incredible warrior, one of the best, he can do this...
With deadly grace, the White Warg leapt over Thorin, smashing the dwarf in the chest with its wicked paw. Kíli gasped as Thorin fell to the floor, landing heavily on his back.
"No!" Balin cried, while Dwalin and Fíli began to desperately scramble down the tree.
Thorin rolled over, forcing himself to his feet as wargs flew at the tree behind him, snarling and snapping at Fíli and Dwalin, keeping them where they were. Kíli's fingers tightened needlessly around the branch and he watched in a sickening trance as Azog swung his mace around in an arch that seemed almost lazy, catching Thorin's chest and jaw.
"Thorin!" Dwalin bellowed, Kíli tightened his hold on the branch even further.
"No!" Kíli's eyes widened as Thorin crashed onto the floor, only to be grabbed by the White Warg's vile and deadly jaw.
The king-in-exile's agonised yells struck Kíli to the core, and fear flooded every vein as Thorin struck Orcrist against the warg's nose and was thrown onto a nearby rock like a broken doll.
"Thorin!"
The closest orc to Thorin responded to an order dripping from Azog's smug face, stalking towards Thorin, and Kíli knew what was about to happen.
He knew it as Thorin's fingers reached for his sword in vain, he knew it as the filthy creature stood above Thorin with a sickening grin.
"No, Thorin, no!" Kíli's cries of utter despair seemed to go unheard by the gleeful orcs, but Thorin's own head turned towards him.
Kíli locked his eyes on Thorin's, his heart pounding heavily as the orc standing above his uncle's helpless figure raised its axe into the air.
It was going to chop off Thorin's head... Thorin was about to die, while Kíli was dangling from a tree like a helpless kitten.
"No!" His lips moved but no sound escaped Kíli's mouth as his uncle sent him a small smile, pushing Kíli's heart faster and faster. His uncle was embracing his own death, and smiling at Kíli as he waited for it to strike.
The strangest battle cry Kíli had ever heard tore through the air and his mouth flew open as Bilbo leapt at the orc about to behead Thorin, stabbing the creature over and over and over until it screamed no more.
Azog looked as aghast as Kíli felt as the hobbit pulled his little sword from the orc's chest and staggered back, shielding Thorin from the advance of the others.
"Bilbo?" Kíli whispered, before looking back at his uncle, whose blue eyes were now closed.
Don't be dead, oh please don't be dead! Kíli begged internally, his heart pounding at an intensity he did not think possible. And Bilbo was the one threatening to have a heart attack...
Kíli looked back to his father and his heart turned to ice. Azog's orcs and wargs began to stalk towards Bilbo, but the hobbit's selfless actions had provided a distraction, enabling Fíli, Dwalin and Balin to leap out of the tree and make a charge of their own, driving the orcs away from their wounded leader and frightened hobbit.
With another strangled battle cry, Bilbo re-joined the fray and Kíli watched the bloody dance in the most acute terror he had ever suffered from. Three of the most important people in his life were down there, hopelessly outnumbered against foes that would surely tear them to shreds before Kíli's very eyes.
"No…no…"
A strong breeze blew Kíli's hair in front of his face, and he shook his head, desperately trying to clear his vision. When he did, he was awestruck by the enormous eagles swooping into the fray and grasping the wargs with their talons, dropping the yelping creatures over the side of the mountain with angry screeches of their own.
Wary of these new creatures, Kíli glanced up at Gandalf who appeared to sigh in relief. As he watched, one of the giant birds swept down and plucked Thorin from the floor, encasing him gently in its talons and lifting him up away from the battle.
Before Kíli had time to register that, however, a pair of talons wrapped around his own chest and pulled him away from the tree.
Terror and pain dragging a scream from his lips, Kíli hung onto the tree for dear life and the bird's talons tightened for a fraction of a second before it let go and tore away with a shriek or irritation, scratching Kíli's bare torso.
"Kíli!" A voice that sounded like Gandalf's floated to the frightened young dwarf's ears as another eagle plucked Fíli from the floor, tossing him off of the side of the mountain.
"No!" Kíli's scream was interrupted by the sight of an eagle rising above the mountain, Fíli clinging to its back.
"Trust the eagles, Kíli!" Gandalf ordered, his voice barely audible above the screeches of the orcs, and Kíli looked around in confusion. All around, members of the company were jumping out of trees and onto eagles and Fíli spoke frantically to the bird carrying him, which turned around and flew towards Kíli.
"Jump, Kee, jump!" Fíli yelled, and for a fraction of a second the terrified dwarf froze like a frightened child.
"Bilbo!"
The young hobbit in question was staring up in utter terror. "Kíli… Just hold on! No, no, Kíli hold on!"
"Bilbo, help us!" Kíli felt terror seizing his heart as the flames leapt closer, and he clutched at Rosa's arm.
He could hear the screams and cries of the other hobbits, but suddenly he could not hear Bilbo, and he squinted down through the fire below him desperately.
"Bilbo? Bilbo, don't leave me, please! Bilbo, where are you, please?" his heart beat so hard and so fast that he thought it would burst free of his chest, and he realised that the thought of Bilbo leaving him was just as terrifying as the thought of burning to death.
"Kíli!" Rosa squealed, clutching at him. "What do we do?"
The dwarfling let out a pitiful mixture of a wail and a scream and held onto her arm tightly.
"Kíli, what do we do?" the girl repeated, and a loud cracking sound broke into his consciousness.
Kíli gasped in horror and his entire body froze.
Rosa tugged on his shirt with a wail. "The branch is breaking, what do we do?"
What he wanted to do was to cry until someone came and saved him, but that just would not do. A voice swam into Kíli's head, a voice he did not recognise but a deep voice that sounded strangely… familiar.
Be brave, Kíli, take a leap of faith.
The flames began to lick at their feet and Kíli looked at Rosa and swallowed. "We jump."
"We what?" Rosa shrieked, clutching Kíli's tunic desperately.
"Hold onto me." Kíli ordered, wrapping her arms around his neck and wrapped his legs around hers so that he would not land on them. "Hold on tight."
The strange voice returned. That's my little prince.
In the split second of hesitation, an explosion of revelation erupted in Kíli's head following his flashback.
Be brave, Kíli, take a leap of faith.
That voice, the voice he had heard at Bell Goodchild's twenty eighth birthday while trapped in a burning tree belonged to none other than Thorin Oakenshield.
Be brave, Kíli, take a leap of faith.
Thorin's voice... The voice was Thorin's voice...
Kíli leapt through the air, a yell of exertion forcing itself out from behind his clenched teeth as he landed on the eagle's back with so much momentum that he would have tumbled off of the other side, had Fíli not grabbed him. Kíli took a deep breath as Fíli's arms jostled him into a safe position as if he were a child, and he took a grasp of both his brother's arm and the bird's feathers.
Craning his neck frantically to look for his hobbit, Kíli was relieved to see Bilbo – and all the company for that matter – on the backs' of the eagles as they flew away from the roaring orcs. Thorin still lay in the talons of the eagle to scoop him from the floor, and Kíli's heart fell at the lifelessness of his uncle's limp body.
"Thorin…" he whispered in a cracking voice, and he felt Fíli's trembling arms as his brother screamed out the same name.
"Thorin!"
This is too much… Kíli thought numbly. This is too much…
Kíli was brave, yes but he had been raised in the Shire. To say that his upbringing was sheltered in comparison to his companions was a gross understatement, and never before had Kíli experienced such physical torture as the lashes across his backs. He had never experienced the crippling agony that had followed watching Bilbo fall and still ached in his heart to that moment. He had never known the guilt and terror a simple falter could cause when that falter resulted in his brother almost dying. He had never been taught how to cope with the terrible fear that he may now lose Thorin, too.
Kíli was out of his depth and he was drowning.
In fact, he did not feel like a dwarf at all. He felt like the scared little boy that ran to Esme when facing cruel newcomers. He felt like the shaking child that would wake from his nightmares and scream and scream until Bilbo came and held him and told him that everything was going to be alright. An intense craving to be home paralysed Kíli - a yearning to be safe and warm with his friends and his family...
But Kíli was a dwarf. In the presence of the others he could not cry as he so desperately wanted to. He could not admit that he was breaking so as to seek help. He had to remain strong as the rock, like the others. He had to hide all of his fear and all of his pain from everyone, especially when Thorin was in so bad a condition.
Feelings of pain and guilt and fear as strong as those besieging Kíli that day are not easily restrained, however, and soon Kíli was shuddering with the physical exertion it took to hide his emotions. When his breathing quickened he simply stopped breathing, forcing himself to take steady breaths every ten seconds instead, soon his head began to spin. Lights danced before the young dwarf's eyes and he could feel himself trembling like a leaf in the wind. Nausea assaulted his stomach and he could hear his blood pounding through his ears but still he forced himself to hold it together, clenching his jaw and blinking rapidly.
"Kíli, you're shaking…" Fíli's voice was tainted with panic but Kíli squeezed his lips together until it hurt, knowing that if he opened his mouth his weak façade would shatter. "Kíli, what's wrong?"
Kíli just shook his head, closing his eyes as well.
"Kíli? Kíli!" Fíli's panicked voice was accompanied by his brother grasping his shoulders and shaking him. "Kíli, talk to me, don't you dare go into shock!"
"I'm not in shock…" Kíli forced the words out from behind his clenched teeth.
He felt Fíli sigh in relief, before his brother murmured. "Kíli, tell me what's wrong. Please."
The pleading of Fíli's strained voice crippled Kíli's defences and he swallowed. "It's…it's too much… I can't…I can't… I'm so sorry…"
"What for?" Fíli's confusion twisted the knife of guilt in Kíli's back.
"I nearly killed you today…If Thorin hadn't… and now…"
"That was not your fault." Fíli insisted fiercely, and Kíli's shaking intensified. Then his brother's voice softened. "Kíli, you don't have to hold yourself together. Not around me… I'd be more upset if you hid your pain than if you cried like a baby all over my good tunic."
Kíli paused, asking in the quavering voice of a frightened child. "Really?"
"Yes…"
A single cry escaped Kíli's lips with his brother's permission, followed by another and then another and then another, until he was sobbing uncontrollably, his brother's strong arms holding him close and stopping him from falling.
"It's alright, Kíli, I've got you… I'm here, nadadith, we're going to be alright."
"Fíli-" he choked, clutching at his brother's tunic like a babe.
"Shh…" Fíli murmured, and Kíli felt his brother's chin rest against his own head. "It's alright, Kíli. Breathe…"
Kíli obeyed, shuddering as he drew in a deep breath, before falling back to his bitter sobs.
"Fíli-"
"I'm here…" Fíli murmured, holding him close. "I'm here…"
It could have been seconds, minutes or hours later when his sobs began to weaken and Kíli moaned softly. "What if… Fíli, what if Thorin…"
"'If' is a funny word…" Fíli mused. "It can cause both great terror and great hope, but often it's safer not to use it in times of despair."
Something deep inside Kíli stirred and he sat up a little. "I…I've heard that before…"
"It's one of Amad's favourite sayings…" Fíli murmured back, and Kíli could hear his brother's smile. Exhaustion swept over the younger brother and he leant back against Fíli's chest again, the physical and emotional anguish he had experienced taking its toll as tears continued to pour from his eyes as freely as rain in the spring.
Sniffing once again to stop his nose from running, Kíli pouted. Fíli had been allowed to go with Mister Dwalin as planned to watch a training session but Kíli had to stay at home because of his stupid cold…
Suddenly the door burst open his brother was carried back into the house by Mister Dwalin, all covered in blood.
"Fee!" Kíli screamed in shock and terror.
"Get out of the way!" the warrior growled tersely, running into the bedroom the boys shared. "Dís!"
"What's going on?" Amad ran out into the hall, wringing her hands in her apron.
"Some orc-lover let a fifty year old child near the crossbow, Fíli got hit!"
"Amad!" Kíli cried as his mother gasped and ran into their bedroom, but before he could follow Mister Balin grabbed him. "No! Fíli, Fíli! What's happening?"
"I don't know, laddie, but you can't go in there now." Balin murmured, pulling the fifteen year old child away from the door.
Kíli swallowed, confused and frightened. "Fee?"
The door burst open again and Uncle Thorin ran in with Mister Óin. They both crashed into the bedroom but once again, Kíli was held back.
Almost immediately, a piercing scream filled the air and Kíli's head swam.
He knew what a crossbow was, and he knew the implications of Fíli being hit, especially with all that blood. His big brother was hurting, possibly dying, and there was nothing the little boy could do about it.
Kíli let out a scream of his own to wake the dead, ignoring Mister Balin's attempts to hush him. If Fíli knew that Kíli was there, that Kíli was scared, he would never leave. Kíli stopped screaming only long enough to take another deep breath and then let out another unearthly shriek. The door opened and Uncle Thorin came back out, taking Kíli from Mister Balin's hands.
"Kíli, hush, now. Your brother will be fine but you're scaring him, hush."
As ever, Uncle Thorin's calm voice soothed Kíli's terror and he buried his face in his Uncle's tickly furs, sobbing in fear.
"It's alright, Kíli. Fíli will be fine…"
The door opened again and Kíli looked up desperately at a weary looking Dwalin, who nodded at Thorin.
"See?" Thorin raised an eyebrow as he carried Kíli into his brother's room. Fíli was propped up in their bed, very pale but very alive.
"Fee!" Kíli wailed, holding out his arms desperately to his brother.
Fíli sniffled, managing a watery smile. "I'm alright, Kíli. Lóni's an idiot and peeling off bandages stings."
Sobbing in relief, Kíli struggled to get out of Uncle Thorin's iron embrace.
"Kíli, you have to be gentle with your brother." Amad chided gently, running a hand through her hair. "He has a very sore side where the arrow scraped him, but they fixed it up at the training fields and Mister Óin has just double checked it."
"I understand!" Kíli nodded desperately, rocketing out of his uncle's arms as soon as his feet touched the floor and flying onto the bed, shuffling the last few inches towards his brother so as not to jostle whichever side of Fíli was hurt. Amad's hand guided him around to one side of his brother anyway and he grabbed a hold of Fíli tightly, snuggling into his brother's side.
Kíli was barely more than a toddler, and the harsh warning from the world about the fragility of life had shaken him deeply.
"Fee!" he whimpered, and Fíli let out a soft chuckle.
"I think you're more upset about this than I am! I get to have a better scar than yours!"
"Not funny!" Kíli keened, closing his still slightly aching palm, before sobbing into Fíli's chest a few times.
"It's alright, Kee." Fíli soothed. "I'm here, I'm fine…"
Kíli gasped, shocked by the intensity of the memory. His flashback in the goblin tunnels had brought back feelings of fear, but the scene that had just played in his head had shown him far more than that.
Kíli was overwhelmed by the fierce dependence on his brother he had had as a child – the flashback had felt so real that he could easily tell just how strong their bond had been. The strong, unconditional love he held for Fíli after meeting him only months ago, now level with the love he held for Saradoc, Merry and Esme, seemed almost pale in comparison. For the first time, Kíli was truly struck with just how horrific his loss must have been for Fíli.
Not only that, but the memory had also shown him just how much Thorin had meant to him, too. The relationship he now held with his uncle was amiable, but it also was wrought with clashes and awkwardness, and Kíli felt a constant need to impress his stubborn leader. Before, he now knew, it had been effortless. He once held the same love for Thorin that he held for Bilbo.
After experiencing those bonds again, even in memory form, Kíli's affection for his brother and uncle swelled even further, and the terror that Thorin would slip away while dangling in the claws of an eagle grew even more powerful.
Kíli's head began swimming again, but this time his body did nothing to hide his disorientation and his head lolled forward.
"Kíli?"
"Fee…" he whispered, his voice cracking. "Fíli, were you ever shot with a crossbow?"
Fíli went still and for a moment Kíli wondered if his memory was no more than a dream. "Yes… We were children, and someone let another child use the blasted thing at the training halls. It scared you far more than it did me. You weren't even there to see it, you were-"
"At home…" Kíli murmured in awe. "With…with the flu…"
"Yes…" Fíli whispered, his voice catching as he dared to ask. "Do you remember…?"
"No…" Kíli shook his head, blinking away tears. "Well, yes, but only that day, only that hour… I was colouring and then Dwalin was there and you were bleeding and I couldn't go into the room and I was screaming and screaming and then it was only a scratch, but…"
Fíli gave a breathless laugh. "That's something, Kíli, that's something! You remembered!"
"I feel sick!" Kíli admitted in a small voice, his mind and stomach reeling at the revelation of his memories.
"Just hold on, Kee, just hold on. Óin will have a look at your back as soon as Thorin's healed, that might help." Fíli's calm voice wavered with fear and a little happiness. "Just breathe, Kíli. We'll all be fine."
His arms removed themselves from Kíli for a moment and the younger brother felt horribly unstable atop the bird, but then he realised what Fíli was doing, the movements a little awkward due to their altitude and position atop the birds.
Wincing as the movement pulled at the wounds on his back, Kíli pulled Fíli's outer tunic over his head, grateful for the protection from the harsh wind.
As soon as the tunic was on he turned to face his brother, whose face was as gaunt and tear stained as Kíli would guess that his was. "Fee…"
"It's too much for me, too." Fíli admitted quietly. "Mahal's beard, I can't imagine how you feel, Kíli…"
"Love you, nadad." Kíli offered Fíli a weak smile.
Fíli grinned wearily. "I love you too, nadadith."
The sun began to set as they flew, and Kíli soon found himself sitting sideways on the huge eagle, leaning against Fíli's chest with his side instead of his back, which was both throbbing and burning. Fíli's brotherly embrace kept Kíli safe as his eyes drooped against his will and he was quickly sucked into a dreamless sleep.
"Kíli…Kíli wake up…"
Fíli's voice broke through Kíli's slumber and his eyes cracked open to the light of dawn, and he realised with a start that they had landed and that Gandalf was kneeling over Thorin's limp body….
"Thorin!" Kíli called in a croaky voice, stumbling forwards with his brother's help.
Strange words streamed from Gandalf's mouth and slowly Thorin's eyes opened. The king blinked and Kíli sagged with relief, a small smile slipping across his lips as Fíli's arm slung around his shoulders.
"Thorin…"
Thorin turned his gaze and found Fíli and Kíli, before closing his eyes and muttering almost inaudibly. "The halfling…"
"It's alright…" Gandalf soothed him. "Bilbo is here, he's quite safe…"
Kíli glanced at Bilbo gratefully when Gandalf said that, and Bilbo smiled at him warmly as Dwalin helped Thorin to his feet. Kíli sighed in relief as Thorin stood strong, making a mental note not to let his hobbit, his brother or his uncle out of his sight for the next few days.
And then Thorin spat out the words as bitter as lemons. "You! What were you doing? You nearly got yourself killed! Did I not say that you would be a burden? That you would not survive in the wild and that you had no place amongst us?"
Grief and anger jostled for place in Kíli's boiling veins but Dwalin put a hand on his arm as Thorin advanced towards a very worried looking Bilbo.
Thorin's face broke into a smile as he breathlessly confessed. "I have never been so wrong in all my life!"
Kíli's mouth fell open as his uncle embraced his hobbit, and he let out a breathless laugh that was lost among the company's cheers, his tired heart bursting with joy.
Thorin no longer hated Bilbo.
Thorin was alive, Fíli was alive, Bilbo was alive.
They were safe from imminent danger.
Soon, Kíli would be able to sleep.
"Is that what I think it is?" Bilbo asked quietly as Thorin's eyes caught the horizon, and Kíli looked up.
"Erebor…" Thorin whispered, and Kíli staggered closer for a better look at the solitary mountain on the skyline. "Our home…"
Kíli took a deep breath, taking in the pure joy and serenity of the moment, before worming his way in between Thorin and Bilbo and hugging them both at the same time. It may not have had the same majesty as his uncle's friendly embrace of Bilbo, but Kíli needed to know that his father and uncle were alive and safe.
The lingering sheer agony of losing Bilbo in Goblin town and crippling terror of seeing Thorin as limp as a boned fish were eased ever so slightly when Kíli held them both, and for the first time since the storm in the mountains began, the once grieving, now aching young dwarf began to relax.
Then he pulled back and shone a cheeky smile at the both of them.
"So… who wants to carry me down the stairs?"
Phew, a lot happened there :P I hope that chapter wasn't too anti-climactic? I dunno…
Updates will be slow next week as I am performing in a pantomime so you have your warning :)
I had to keep the "I have never been so wrong" conversation is because it's one of my favourite scenes in the movie, I can't watch it without smiling!
For those wondering, we will get back to the ring later ;) And the Lady Galadriel convos, for that matter. I'm sorry if it seems like Bilbo's not getting much focus at the moment, that will be remedied!
Just a quick reminder that this is NOT a slash story. I became aware re-reading this that some bits may be interpreted as such, but all the lovin' is platonic and there will be no slash in this fic, so sorry if that bugs you :(
Thanks for reading, leave a review if you can!
