Chapter 4

Immediately after the video shoot comes to an end, Kaito rushes into the bathroom, trying to steady his heartbeat and hide his blushing face from the taller, handsome man. He turns the handle on the sink and splashes water on his face.

Why is that guy so attractive? He thinks with a scowl, shaking his head and telling himself to snap out of it. There's no way someone like him could ever have a chance with a handsome, talented man like Gakupo. Sure, the guy could be rude and insensitive, but he had been a bit politer today than yesterday. Although, even if Gakupo's attitude wasn't as rotten as he thought, it's not like anyone would want him, anyway. After all, not even his own father wanted him, or was willing to keep living for him. He acknowledged his aunt's love, but it's not like she really loved him in particular. It was familial. If they weren't related, she wouldn't care about him. It was that simple.

Before his thoughts could get any more negative, there's a knock on the door. "Hey, Kaito? Are you okay?"

The soothing, smooth voice belonged to Miku. "Yes, I'll be out in just a moment. Please excuse me." He knew she didn't really care—not really.

Kaito walks out of the bathroom, all smiles and waving off any questions of concern. Soon after, he completes the video shoot with Miku flawlessly. He is congratulated on his voice and dance moves by various producers and recorders, and as usual he smiles and answers with polite modestly.

Yuuki beckons him over, and he obliges, fidgeting a bit awkwardly as Gakupo's cold stare remained fixed on him. "Gakupo wants to work with you. Sure, your styles are very different, but I think it will be entirely beneficial for you two to work together! What do you think?"

Kaito's breath hitches—work with me? Why would he want to work with someone like me? After all, the man had just implied he was irresponsible after arriving late; not to mention his stern stare as he danced and sang could only mean he was looking down on his abilities. He didn't blame him at all.

"… I don't understand." Kaito blurts out, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. He was convinced Gakupo disliked him, thought him to be irresponsible and untalented.

Gakupo sighs, shaking his head. "It's just what it sounds like. As in—working together on a song, singing it together. Both of us are gaining popularity quickly, if both of our audiences combined it would surely be beneficial for us."

So, that's what this was about. Popularity. Kaito lets out a self-depreciating laugh. "I'm not interested."

The words escaped his throat faster than he can stop them. He himself was shocked, let alone Yuuki and Gakupo.

Selfish. He thinks. Of course this was about popularity—what else would it be about? Why would Gakupo care about him? In the end, he just wanted to be loved, was it? Or maybe his dream to disregard popularity and instead strive to make people smile with his songs and voice was what was interfering—was he a good person after all?

Frustrated, he scowls and exits the studio, set on walking to his apartment even though it was miles away. "Kaito, wait!" Yuuki calls out. He disregards her plead and continues walking, intrusive and confusing thoughts frustrating him.

"I apologize for this," Yuuki says quickly, before laughing a bit nervously. "Would you mind if you gave me some sort of contact information? I assure you he just isn't feeling his best today, or thinking straight; we'll get back on your offer shortly."

Gakupo considers his words before saying, "Did I… Did I say something to upset him again?" He thinks back to how he had harshly insulted the man just the day prior. He regretted being so rude—just minutes before their encounter, he had received horrible news corresponding to his younger sister's condition. Not to mention he considered himself at fault for what happened; he was frustrated and angry at himself and ended up letting his anger out on an unsuspecting man in the street.

"Don't worry about it—he's very sensitive, you see." Yuuki answers, smiling weakly.

Gakupo nods, knowing that fact from the moment he met him. He writes down his phone number on a piece of paper and hands it to her. "Also… Tell him that I'm sorry for my attitude. I hope I'll be able to work with him."

He leaves to go speak with someone else, leaving Yuuki confused on what Gakupo had said. Had Kaito met Gakupo before their encounter today?

She shakes her head, rushing outside to try to catch up to the dazed man. "Kaito, wait up!" She yells, running to him as he was quite far. Kaito turns around, raising a questioning eyebrow.

Yuuki trips, her high heels having made it difficult to run, and lands on her knees. Her bare knees get scraped as a result.

"Are you okay?!" Kaito asks frantically, running to her and slowly helping her up.

"Yeah, sorry, I can be such a klutz sometimes." Yuuki replies, smiling weakly as she is helped up.

"No… It's my fault." Kaito mumbles, glancing down to the floor and furrowing his brows. "I'm… I'm sorry."

"It's okay, don't worry about it, okay?" Yuuki insists, pursing her lips as she knows how sensitive he can get because of incidents like this. Kaito opens his mouth to say something, but she stops him before he could get any more depreciating. "Listen, Gakupo said he was sorry for his attitude and that he hoped to work with you. He also gave me his number so you could contact him later." She reaches for the piece of paper in her pocket and hands it to him. "Think about it, alright? He seems like a good person. This could be a good opportunity."

Kaito hesitantly takes the piece of paper, nodding slowly and muttering another apology under his breath. She offers to give him a ride in her cab but he declines, claiming he was going to stop at a convenience store nearby. He didn't want to burden her by making her pay more for his stay in the cab. She nods, and takes her leave.

Staring at the piece of paper, Kaito sighs and hesitantly enters the number into his cellphone, the only contacts there being Yuuki, his aunt, and his best friend Meiko. At some point, Miku had given him her phone number, but in the spur of the moment after being treated horribly in the World is Mine response video, he had deleted it. He found it too awkward to ask for it again, and since she never contacted him herself after that, he assumed she didn't want to talk to him in the first place and only gave him her phone number out of politeness.

He stuffs the paper in his pocket and walks off in the direction of his apartment. Hearing his phone buzz, he reaches for it and sees a notification from an unknown number. He thought that perhaps it was Miku. To say he wasn't a least little happy she had contacted him first was an understatement—he was ecstatic. He thought maybe his singing and dancing was actually good, and that she wanted to work with him again. Eagerly, Kaito unlocks his phone and opens the message.

Unknown

8:58 P.M.

Ugh, really? Can't we just ask that Gakupo guy to collab with me in Cendrillon instead? Kaito makes me uncomfortable, have you seen how he looks at me all the time? It's creepy. Plus, don't you think Gakupo suits the role better? He's really handsome and his voice isn't too deep like that other guy.

Unknown

8:59 P.M.

Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to send that to you, Kaito! Well, this is awkward…

He stares at the messages for a few seconds before he feels a lump in his throat and hot tears tugging at his eyes. Backing into a back alley, he slumps his back against the cold wall and slides down, burying his face in his hands and letting out small sobs. He was so quick to cry, why was he crying this time? Because the person he had admired for years and wanted to be acknowledged by just called him an incompetent creep? Maybe this meant he wasn't cut out for the world of fame after all. His voice wasn't alluring, figure scrawny, attitude rotten… Maybe this meant he wasn't cut out for the world at all. He could easily be replaced in the world of fame, he wasn't special. After all, in most videos he starred in, he was comedy relief. He barely had many of his own songs as of yet, so Yuuki could easily find a better, more responsible person to look over.

All he did was mess up and mess up… Could he ever do anything right? It's not like Gakupo was actually sincere when he apologized for his attitude. He just wanted popularity and audience, being nice was a tactic to get him to work with him. Why he would want to work with someone like him, was past him… He would be better off working with a grain of dirt, wouldn't he? Why didn't he realize that? Miku seemed to realize that just fine.

Realizing he was getting bad again, he opens his contact list and presses Meiko's phone number through his blurry, tear-filled eyes. She knew of his depression and trauma because they were friends ever since he was in elementary. Even when he became isolated and distant, she still strived to stay close to him. Her mom was friends with his mom, and always offered him a place to stay after his mom died in the accident. He didn't want to impose, so he never did take her up on her offer, but she felt safer with them than he had with his own father. In a way, being with Meiko made him feel safe–he knew he could trust her when she said she would be there for him. He had promised her to contact her whenever he felt he was getting bad again.

After a ring or two, the person on the other line answered the phone. "M… Meiko? I-I'm sorry for bothering you again, b-but I…" He chokes back a sob, though it was clearly audible on the other line. "I just need someone to talk to… I don't think I can do this anymore…"

He sobs weakly again, before hearing someone yell.

"You, give me all of your money!" Frightened, he turns towards the voice to see a middle-aged man pointing a gun straight at his face. He freezes up for a moment, breathless and unable to process the situation. "Hurry up! D-Do you want to die?!" The man yells, looking around nervously to make sure no one was around.

Do you want to die?

The words echoed in his mind as he considered his response.

"Kaito? Is that you?" A deep voice asks on the other side of the line. It belonged to Gakupo, he immediately realized. "Where are you? Are you being attacked?"

His eyes widen, realizing he had dialed Gakupo's number instead of Meiko's. Immediately, he hangs up, shock overwhelming him.

"Put the phone down!" The man yells frantically, threatening to pull the trigger.

Pull the trigger, pull the trigger…

Run away, run away…

He found himself slowly putting the phone down. Despite how much he constantly thought of death, when push came to shove, he was scared. Frightened. He was disgusted at himself being such a contradicting hypocrite.

"The money!" The man shouts. "Don't make me repeat myself!"

"I-I… I… I d-didn't…" He stutters, realizing he had forgotten to bring his wallet that morning.

"I don't need your lies! I know you're filthy rich! Famous, aren't you?"

Famous, aren't you?

Was he really, in the end? Wasn't he really an undeserving child who didn't understand his place in the world?

To say he was frightened was a huge understatement. He was terrified at the thought of a sudden death like this, he wasn't ready, he wasn't ready at what would await him at the other side. Staring at the gun, he noticed the man's fingers were on the trigger, trembling. Just like that, it went off, although it seemed rather accidental. Kaito let out a scared gasp, tears springing from his eyes like a leak as someone tugged him to the side harshly by the arm to avoid the bullet by the skin of his teeth.

Before he knew what was happening, the man got a side kick to the jaw and fell over, hitting his head on the wall of the side alley and immediately falling unconscious.

It takes Kaito a while to realize how hard he was crying, his body shaking with intense sobs and cheeks stained with hot tears that fell onto his trembling hands. Someone reaches for him, offering to help him up, but he immediately flinches away thinking it was someone trying to hurt him.

"I have no ill intent, I assure you," Gakupo says softly. However, he didn't seem to hear him, as he was rocking back and forth, arms clutching himself through the fabric of his sweater and leaving scratches on his skin. Seeing the boy so frightened–completely broken and vulnerable like this made his heart ache. He felt sorry for him. Carefully, he carried Kaito in his arms and helped him inside the car a few streets away. The driver said nothing when noticing the blue-haired boy next to his boss's son, instead continuing the ride to the destination.

Arriving at Gakupo's mansion, he carries the boy again through the grand doors and is immediately welcomed by the staff his parents pay for. At some point, Kaito had buried his face in the man's chest, his blue hair covering his face and his tear-stained cheeks so the only thing the staff saw was a boy covered in dirt from sitting on the road of the back alley.

After preparing a bath, Gakupo tells Kaito to clean himself, as it would make him feel at least a little bit better. He leaves him in the grand room with a huge bathtub, leaving a change of clothes on the stool and going to wash the dirty outfit in the laundry. He lets the staff know that he will be away helping his guest with a few things, so as to not bother him. After quite a lot of time, he knocks on the door being a bit concerned, entering to find Kaito trembling in the bath. The water had gone cold after a while.

He considered reprimanding him on staying in the bath for so long, but decided against it since he knew what the boy had been through just a while prior. "Come on, you should get out of the bath, now." He says, and when Kaito looks up at him, the edges of his hair soaked and sending drops of water on his cheeks, his eyes looked so dim and dead it scared him.

"I didn't… I d-didn't…" Kaito was struggling to speak, gaze falling to stare at his wrinkly hand through the clear water.

"Just… get changed. I'll call Saito to pick you up later." Gakupo interrupts him, not wanting to have him push himself to speak. He turns around, about to leave, but he feels a grip on his arm just as he is about to do so. The sleeve of his sweater is immediately soaked with water at the contact, although Kaito pulls away just as quickly.

"I-I'm sorry… I…" Kaito stutters, not knowing what he was doing. He couldn't think straight, still dazed from the incident, and didn't realize he had gotten out of the bath.

Immediately, Gakupo turns around from the naked boy, cheeks stained with red as he tosses a towel to him. "… I'll wait outside."

Kaito dries himself with the towel, and changes into the clothes Gakupo had left for him. The shirt and pants didn't fit him much at all–they were much too big on him as Gakupo's shoulders and body overall were much broader. The shirt almost reached his mid-thighs. Going outside as Gakupo had said, he's lead to a fine bedroom where Gakupo tells him to sit on the bed.

His weight leans on the comfortable bed. He had never been on one as comfortable and large like this. Kaito's make-up had worn off from the long day and bath, making his eye bags easily visible. He looked exhausted.

"You should get some rest. I've contacted Saito, though it's already very late and I didn't want her traveling the streets at this hour. She's convinced you should stay over." Gakupo explains, shutting off the light and turning on the desk lamp to focus on his studies.

"I didn't…"

He turns around to find Kaito already succumbing to sleep on his bed, mumbling something under his breath.

"I didn't want to die…"


A/N: My apologies for taking over a month to update! My laptop was acting up, and I got a bit engrossed in the Project Diva games. Anyways, I'm a bit unsure about this chapter, since it seems kind of fast-paced. I might choose to edit it later on, so I'll appreciate any constrictive criticism, feedback, or ideas. ^-^