12 days. It's only been 12 days since John left, and Sherlock's fingers itch to write a letter. But no, he shouldn't do that; it's weak and impatient and selfish of him. John will write him first. He said he would, he said-

He takes a calming breath, shaking his head as he fumbles to text Lestrade about the results of his current case. He tries to forget the echoes of the doctor's compliments amplified in his head. He bypasses the ghost of his blogger in his eyes, doesn't bat an eye at the way Mind Palace John is looking at him as if he breathes stars.

Two vibrations: text messages.

That's duly noted.-GL

By the way, how's John? Has he written yet? Have you written back?-GL

The detective is sure that Graham doesn't mean any harm by the question, is too unevolved and stupid to understand that this hurts. It hurts like bloody hell to know that John, his John, reliable John, hasn't written.

He grimaces at how greedy for social contact he sounds as he recalls the disdain he once had for it, how he thought it was illogical and sentimental and entirely not him.

No letters yet. I have refrained from writing.-SH

He promptly slides his mobile shut, looking to the fine paper he has laid out on his desk, a biro placed beside it. Sherlock is tempted to give in, to just write the damn letter already, but he realizes that he is being unreasonable, that John has probably only just settled in Afghanistan. He needs to give him time.

Another vibration rattles his hands.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to remind you or anything. I was just curious.-GL

Will you write soon, though?-GL

Sherlock studies the text and ponders why exactly Lestrade is so invested in finding out about his and John's social pleasantries via letters.

I fail to understand why you are so interested in this subject.-SH

What?! Did the Great Sherlock Holmes just admit to not knowing something?-GL

Anyways, I just...I don't know...I just want you guys to stay close, even when he's away.-GL

Surprisingly, the detective realizes he's flattered by the DI's consideration. He simply can't wrap his mind around Gavin's concern, so he responds the only way he knows how to, in this moment; with suspicion.

Or maybe your prolonged social luncheons with Mycroft have made you nearly as meddlesome.-SH

Now don't hold those lunches against me. I just know how you and John are.-GL

And how is that?-SH

Awful with feelings and afraid to admit things.-GL

Sherlock tries to settle the tremor in his fingers, holding in a breath that feels too big for his chest, like he'll implode if he lets it out. How does Lestrade see it? He hides it, he's hid it from John even, but the man who's name he can never remember knows?

Afraid to admit what?-SH

Damnit, Sherlock, don't play dumb. For the sake of us both just say it, please.-GL

He lets out an almost feral growl, trying to derail this conversation before the DI can write anything else pertaining to his and John's complicated relationship.

I have nothing to say.-SH

Bullocks!-GL

He wonders just how far Lestrade is willing to take this conversation. Maybe George wants him to actually admit it? Maybe he can get away with texting only a smidgen of what he actually feels for John.

I care for him deeply.-SH

I think the word you're looking for is 'love.'-GL

Sherlock grimaces. Love is only a fraction of how strongly he feels for the doctor.

If I did, how do you think John would react? Certainly not kindly.-SH

This sounds like more than just a hypothetical, so I'll in turn give you an ignorant response.-GL

With a sigh, he glares at his phone screen. Why must Geoff be so insistent about this? His life would be much less complicated if no one knew. Perhaps a vague text would suit this situation?

Alright, so perhaps I do. What of it?-SH

Sherlock, there isn't anything wrong with it. I just want you to say three words.-GL

What's the point of admitting any of this if it doesn't increase the chances of he and John actually becoming 'involved'?

But John isn't like that. Not with me.-SH

Consulting Detectives must be really emotionally stunted not to notice how much they mean to people. You're everything to John.-GL

The boffin bristles at the insult, but almost immediately brushes it off once he reads the end of the text. What's that supposed to mean? Someone can care for another person without that meaning they love them romantically.

There's a difference between caring platonically and romantically.-SH

And I think you and John have crossed the distance between the two.-GL

I just realize now how rom-com this whole thing is. Actually it's more like a tragedy.-GL

This whole thing is very tedious, in Sherlock's opinion.

Could we terminate this conversation?-SH

Only if you say the three magic words. Otherwise I'll be forced to spam your phone with photos you will find fairly unpleasant.-GL

Either his threat is unfounded, which is a very likely possibilty, or he actually has a collection of images that will invoke an unwanted negative response. The former seems likely, but going by the DI's persistence, the latter is definitely feasible.

That message isn't as threathening as you might think.-SH

Downloading image...

(Here lies an image of which its description is unfit for human eyes. You may imagine as you please.)

Everyone in this dreaded world may be idiots, but no one deserves to look at this.-SH

So you'll say it?-GL

I can't say it over a text.-SH

Quit stalling. I have more important things I could be doing.-GL

Then why aren't you doing them?-SH

Sherlock!-GL

The detective inhales, exhales, shakes his head, then types. He sits with his phone in his hands and wonders how such an insignificant item has ultimately the most important phrase ingrained in it. He's cradling words in his hands that may change the very course of his existence.

He hits 'send.'

I love John. There. Is you mediocre brain satisfied with that response?-SH

I'm so proud I got you to say it that I'm not even going to hold that insult against you.-GL

Sherlock frowns. That isn't what he expected as a response. He just confided in the DI. That text could make or break his relationship with John.

I assume you're pleased enough to stop sending these silly messages.-SH

Eh, I'd say my overall rating of your service is only three and a quarter stars.-GL

The boffin doesn't let the upward curl of his lips affect his next message.

You have now exceeded you stupidity limit for the day. This is the point where I will stop responding. Sod off and have a nice day.-SH

It's been knocked down to a two and a half.-GL

Sherlock allows himself to smile.


A/N: I'm really pleased with all the feedback on the first chapter. Thanks to anyone who has followed, favorited, reviewed, or even just viewed this story. It means a lot to me. Any more feedback and the like is greatly appreciated.