Disclaimer: I don't own 'The Outsiders'

Chapter 15:


I pulled the shirt over my head, turning toward Ray and holding my arms out. "Yeah?"

"Too much chest." I put on a different shirt and did the same thing. Ray shook his head again. "Not enough chest."

I sighed, putting out a shirt I was sure was a happy medium. "What about this one?"

Ray nodded. "That's the one."

I looked in the mirror at the tight shirt, sculpting my waist and pushing on my breasts. "Why do I have to dress up?"

Ray smirked, eyes scanning my body. "The guy I'm meeting likes to have something to look at."

"Lovely," I muttered, falling onto the bed. "When are we leavin'?"

Ray put a cigarette in his mouth and started walking toward the door. "Hold on." He walked out, leaving me in his apartment alone.

"We're goin' now." Brent, almost as tall as the doorway, stood still, staring at me. "What are you wearing?"

I stood quickly, grabbing a jacket. I didn't like the way he was looking at me. "Nothing."

Brent stepped closer, a non comforting smile making way to his face. "You're lookin' like a real fox, Jane."

"Thanks -" His hands found my arms, grabbing them. I gasped at the sudden contact, looking up at him. "Brent -"

His hands left my arms, going to my sides and then around to my back. He stepped closer, his body then against mine. "You are a pretty one, aren't ya?"

I froze up, feeling his hand rubbing my behind over my jeans. "Brent -"

He pushed me down on the bed and crawled over me. "Be quiet."

I screamed, being the opposite of quiet, to which Brent put a hand over my mouth. I tried to push him away, but he was just so big. He managed to get the button to my jeans undone before Ray walked in.

"Hey!" Ray yelled, snapping his fingers. He didn't even move from the doorway. He just looked at Brent, but that was it. "Give her a break, man. Let's go."

Brent nodded, following after Ray when Ray disappeared.

I had to completely ignore what happened, and I just followed Ray. It had happened before and what Brent did wasn't anything new, but Brent was too scared of Ray to do anything. It didn't make it any less nerve wracking when Brent let his hands roam.

We went uptown to another bar. We had been going to so many different ones within the last week and I was getting confused. This one was definitely smaller than the last couple and more packed as well. The light was dark blue and dark purple which was starting to give me a headache.

I was sitting at the bar and ignoring the annoying giggling of some girl a couple seats down. I ignored the girl, drinking my beer and ignoring the persisting flirting from the guy beside me. Annoying girl or annoying guy? I turned away from the annoying guy, looking down the bar at the girl.

She wasn't giggling anymore and the guy she was with was pushing her against the bar roughly. Her face was turned away from me, seeming to just try to get away from him. Then she turned her pretty face toward me and I recognized the girl as Angela Shepard. "No, stop," I could hear her say.

I hopped of my seat and walked toward them. I grabbed the back of the guys jacket and yanked him back.

Jesus. He must've been at least twenty-five.

Angela eyed me, pulling up the strap of her shirt. "Jane?"

I looked at the guy. "She said stop."

The guy smirked at me. He latched his grip onto my upper arm. "Oh, yeah? And what are you -"

The guy was yanked backward and I could see Ray's angry face. "What the hell are you doin' to my girl?" Ray growled, pulling on the guys shirt roughly and then pushing him away. Ray glanced at Angela and then looked at me. "Let's go. I got somethin' I need you to do."

I looked at Angela. "Are you okay?"

"Jane," Ray said lowly.

I looked at him, a sudden bravery coming over me. "Give me five minutes, Ray. Five minutes," I insisted.

Ray grumbled, but walked away.

"I didn't need your help," Angela said, turning back toward the bar.

I took the seat beside her and I smirked. "I used to be just like you."

Angela scoffed. "Spare me. I'm way prettier." I rolled my eyes, just about to walk away but Angela grabbed my arm. "Wait."

My eyebrows rose. "What?"

She sighed, turning in her seat to face me. "Now that you and Tim aren't together -" I winced and she smiled. "I can tell you something."

"Shoot."

"You want to know why I've always hated you?"

I looked at her, putting a showy smile. "Oh, please do tell."

"Alright. I've always hated you because Tim had never been so serious about a chick in his entire life," she said, using gestures of her hands. Angela sighed, a sad look making way to her face. "I knew he'd follow you anywhere and people say you're pretty smart, so I thought you'd go off to college, which Tim would follow you to. I'd be left all alone with..." She made a face. "With Curly."

I scoffed, shaking my head. "Tim would not follow me anywhere. He's got a life here. He's got - he's got his gang - friends, family -"

"Jane, the guys love you."

My eyes widened as I looked at her. "What?"

Angela's brows furrowed and she raised a beer to her lips. "You're even dumber than I thought."

"Jane!"

I looked at Ray, still in a state of shock. "What?"

He grabbed my arm and pulled me across the bar and to some door. "I need you to go in there and make it with this guy."

"What?" I asked, a different type of shock coming over me. "I'm not gonna have sex with some guy for - for -"

"Drugs."

I pushed against his chest. "No, I'm not doing it. I'm not some whore that you can pimp out." I tried to walk away from him.

Ray pushed my shoulders against the door, looking me in the eyes. "You're going to do this." His fingertips grazed my neck. "Or I'll pay a visit to one of the Shepards. Curly or Tim, doesn't matter to me. Take your pick, baby."

"You're not gonna touch anyone," I growled, taking his hands away from me.

Ray didn't touch me again, but it didn't stop him from glaring. "Will you do it or not? He's waiting."

I looked up at him. "This is what you want me for? Do you treat every girl like shit or just me?"

"Girls usually figure I'm no good by the third night," Ray said, smirking a little. "You were the only one that stuck around, so...just you, baby."

Ray was insane. He wanted me to have sex with a total stranger just so he could get a discount on his next high? It didn't even matter what it was because the risk was someone I cared about getting hurt. If I had to close my eyes and pretend I was someone else doing something else for ten minutes to protect the people I didn't want hurt, I'd do it.

I sighed, my eyes not leaving his. "Fine." I took a deep breath in, my hands shaking as turned around and opened the door.

The man was at least thirty, not awful looking but never my type. He had a low-cut button up, displaying his chest hair. His eyes were dark and scary, going nicely with his creepy smile. "Hello, lovely."

I walked closer to him. "Hi."

"What's your name?"

He didn't even know my name? "Jane."

"I'm Mike."

I nodded, looking around awkwardly. "So..."

"How old are you?"

"Legal," I said, not wanting to mess anything up for Ray.

The guy looked me up and down and seemed to hesitate. "Shit, you look young."

I grew self-conscious and crossed my arms over my chest. "Yeah, well, it is what it is."

"How'd you get yourself mixed up in this, kid?"

"Don't get yourself mixed up in that, kid." Tim took the joint from my fingers and flicked it onto the ground.

I smirked, already riding out a high. "Sorry, baby."

Tim's arm came around my waist. "Let's get you home, huh?"

"Okay." I nodded.

I wanted to go home now.

"Just..." I tried to think of an answer. "It's just who I'm with."

"Ray Tanner is a bad man."

"I know."

He nodded and stood, proving to be much taller than I was. "But so am I. Why don't you take off your clothes, sweetheart."

I didn't protest as I pulled my shirt over my head. He grabbed my shoulders and spun me around, feeling me up over my bra. I closed my eyes, a tear falling over my cheek as he started to reach for my pants.

I didn't open my eyes for the next twenty minutes.

I left the bar as soon as the deed was done, and Ray allowed me too. I walked through the streets, not sure of where I was going.

All I could do was replay the nauseating feeling of a strange man's hands all over my body. The disgust I felt for myself afterward and how much I tried not to cry. I had never felt so violated and sad in my entire life. I had never felt worthless until that moment. I felt like no one cared. I had ruined every decent relationship I had and now I was left with Ray. Just Ray. I was done for. The rest of my life was going to be a hell I could never escape.

I made it to Ray's, sitting on that ratty couch that I never, ever sat on, something poking at me. I reached under the thin cushion and pulled out a revolver.

Oh, shit.

I looked down at the gun, opening the cylinder and seeing that there were bullets in all the chambers. I quickly dumped them out, putting back only one bullet. I sighed down at it. "How about a little Russian roulette?"

I didn't have a death wish and I didn't want to kill myself. But I would leave that up to fate. If it happened, it happened.

I spun the cylinder, ready to play the ultimate game of chance. There was a 1 in 6 chance that I was going to die and I liked those odds.

I held the gun up to my head, hesitating very little before I pulled the trigger. And nothing happened.

I sobbed, the gun falling from my hands and hitting the wooden floor. It bounced away from me before stopping a foot away. I stared at it for a couple of seconds as I cried and then I hid my face in my hands, not holding anything back. I was letting out a month's worth of tears and they were coming fast.

I was at an ultimate low from my life; the lowest of lows.

Things could only get better...

Right?