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Disclaimer: I don't own 'The Outsiders'
Chapter 16:
"What kind?"
I hadn't left Ray's apartment in another whole week. I didn't want to see anyone and I didn't want to talk with anyone. The only people I even came close to were Ray and Brent - Brent coming too close too many times.
But it was my first outing in a while and I didn't even want to go. But my face and body already ached from my fight with Ray the night before and I wanted to be able to move, so I was going to do what he said.
"What the hell ever," Ray groaned, lifting his head off the bed for long enough to speak. "Anything kind of aspirin. Just get it. And some cigarettes too."
I nodded, exiting the apartment. I walked from Ray's to the department store across town. There were closer ones, but the moment I got out of Ray's, I wanted to stay out as long as possible.
There was a cop sitting outside of the store, smoking a cigarette and having a coffee. I smiled kindly and then walked inside. I went straight for the cigarettes, then I got the aspirin. I grabbed some extra strength tylenol, walking through the medical isle, stopping at the condoms and pregnancy tests.
How convenient. I wondered if it was a scare tactic. Teenagers saw the pregnancy tests and grabbed more condoms than they'd ever need. Whatever the tactic was, I picked up one of the pregnancy tests, reading the directions on the back. They didn't even have the things when I was a kid. In fact, they were a rather new and brilliant invention.
Holding the pregnancy test, I felt intense eyes on me. When I looked up, I saw those blue eyes that I fell in love with. But they weren't on the person I was in love with - quite opposite, actually. They were on Angela.
"Angela?" I said without thinking. I followed her eyes down to the pregnancy test in my hands and my eyes widened. By the time I looked back up, all I saw was her huge brown head of hair running out of the store. "Angela, wait!" I ran after her, exiting the store quickly.
I was shoved down not a second later. The cigarettes, aspirin and pregnancy test spilled from my hands and the cop handcuffed me faster than I had ever remembered them doing that. He yanked me up and turned me toward him, but his eyes were over my shoulder, looking at my contents.
"Oh, no."
I glanced back at the stuff and then looked at him. "I wasn't going to steal it. I was just -"
"Look -" the cop interrupted loudly. "I know the youth of our country is troubled, but there's no reason to take your life, okay?"
I was shocked. "What?"
"If you're really pregnant, there are support groups out there, kid."
I started up at him for a couple of seconds, figuring that I could play this out to my advantage. I made a face like I was going to cry. "I just don't know what to do." I let my head fall down and I sniffled. "He just broke up with me. He doesn't want a kid."
"Jesus," the copper said under his breath, walking to my back and undoing the cuffs.
I rubbed my wrists dramatically. "Thank you."
He sighed. "You seem like a nice girl."
I looked up at him through my biggest eyes. "I was just chasing after that girl. I didn't mean to walk out of the store without paying, officer."
He seemed to be making a decision, which if he was, he made one. "Alright, I'm not gonna take you down to the station. And -" He bent down, picking up all my things. "You can take these free of charge."
I took the items and smiled softly. "Oh, thank you -" I took my first glance at his name tag. "Officer James."
He smiled too, suddenly seeming jolly. "You're welcome, miss."
I walked away, waiting until I was down an alleyway where I couldn't be seen before I pulled out a cigarette and lit it. I would get what I got from Ray later, but I would enjoy the cigarette while I could. I stuffed the aspirin in my back pocket and I opened the pregnancy test.
Oh, shit, Angela. What was she going to say? Hopefully, she had to good sense not to say anything to anyone. Or at least not to Tim. If she wanted Tim all to herself, she certainly wouldn't tell him he had a baby on the way. That would rip him away from her fast enough. I doubted Angela was going to say a damn word. Besides, I wasn't pregnant and I wasn't going to be any time soon - especially not with Tim's baby.
I erased Tim from my mind before I could go into it much further and I just continued walking, examining the pregnancy test and then tossing it aside. I walked inside of Ray's not too long after that, putting the painkillers on the bedside table, slamming them down.
"Jesus!" Ray groaned, his head coming out of the heaps of pillows. He looked up at me, looking very sickly. "Do you gotta be so goddamn loud, Jane?"
"Sorry," I said unapologetically, walking around the bed and into the kitchen. "I'm making a pb&j. You want one or not?"
"Not. You suck at making sandwiches."
"I do not," I grumbled, grabbing a knife.
"You always put on too much peanut - what the hell?"
I glanced over my shoulder and rolled my eyes at Ray's eyes narrowed at something out the window. "What, someone stealing your car?" I chuckled at my toast. "What a shame that would be."
"No. It's Shepard."
I tensed, but tried to act casual. I grabbed the peanut butter, undoing the lid. "Curly?"
"Tim."
I clumsily dropped the lid and then going to pick up the lid, I dropped the knife. I groaned loudly, quickly growing frustrated. "Damnit."
"He's coming into the building." Ray's eyes left the window and he started to stand.
"Stop," I said quickly, running over to him. I thought quickly, pushing him down onto the bed. "You don't look so good."
Ray glared at me. "Out of my way, Jane."
I touched his face lovingly, surprising him. "Come on, Ray. Get some rest," I said softly. "I don't want to be making out with you when you're like this." I smiled, happy that he was letting me push him back onto the bed. I pulled the covers over him and said, "Go back to bed. I'll take care of Tim."
"I'm not sleeping," Ray said in a hard tone, but his head hit the pillow. "Be back in five minutes."
I nodded, turning and running out of the building just as Tim was coming up the stairs. He stopped when he saw me and I stopped when I saw him. We both looked at each other and I breathed out nervously. "Hi."
Tim's surprised face turned angrily immediately. "Hi? Hi? You ditch me at the hospital and never talk to me again and all you've got to say is hi?"
I ignored him mostly, walking closer and grabbing his arm. I looked to make sure Ray wasn't following before I dragged him down the stairs and outside. I realized that I was touching him about halfway down and I quickly let go. I moved around the building to the side and out of sight, leaning against the wall. "What're you doing here?"
Tim's hands were on his hips and he looked so good, like always. "I don't know why you broke up with me, Jane, but I want answers now."
"You yelled at me for no reason," I argued, crossing my arms.
"That's not what you're mad about," Tim countered, an angry look still on his face. "You're tougher than that."
I scoffed. "But you can't even apologize?"
"Look, I didn't bother you after you left, alright? I went to your house and asked for you and then I went back again and Paul said that you didn't want to talk to me anymore," Tim was explaining and his anger slowly left him. "So I didn't want to bother you, but I will not let you do this on your own."
"Do what?"
Tim walked closer, sighing heavily as his big hand landed on my stomach. "Raise our kid."
I quickly pushed him away. "Are you kidding me?" A million thoughts were running through my mind and I couldn't even think of a good thing to say back, so I just said, "You can't even raise Curly and you think you could take care of a baby?!"
Tim seemed so determined. He took another step closer and put his hands on my face. "It's my kid, isn't it?"
I pushed him away once again. "I'm not pregnant."
Now Tim just seemed confused. "But Angela said -"
"Angela thinks she saw something, but she didn't," I told him, trying my best not to yell. I sighed, leaning against the wall. "Even if I was pregnant, it'd be a slim chance it'd be yours."
Tim flinched and the put a finger through the loop of his jeans. "Maybe I just wanted to see you."
"Oh." I scoffed, pushing myself off the door, heading toward the door. "Are we being cheesy now?"
"Hey -" Tim grabbed my arm before I could walk past him. He kept me close, ours faces as close as they'd ever been in months. "You gonna tell me what's going on or not?"
"Not," I snarled, only because I knew I'd melt in two seconds if I didn't decide in the moment that I was going to hate him.
Tim growled like an animal, hand still gipping my arm as he walked up to the wall, pushing me against it. "Why are you so difficult?"
"You're the one that dated me!"
"And you're the one that left me!"
I shook my head, looking down. "I should go back inside."
Tim didn't let me, putting his hands beside my head. arms blocking the way out. "Tell me, kid," he said quietly, face close to mine. "Please."
I looked him in the eyes. "I don't know what to say."
"The truth!"
I shoved him back angrily, him barely moving. "Fine!" I pushed him again, not making him move that much that time either. "You really want to know?"
"Yes!" Tim yelled, brows furrowed.
"I broke up with you because - because - 'cause Ray's stupid and you're stupid and everything's messed up and I can't do anything I want and I'm only doing this 'cause I love you, even though you're so -"
Tim's hand found my face, the other on my hip. He pushed me against the wall and kissed me roughly, exactly how I'd expect him to after not doing it for a couple of months. I tried to push him away at first, not wanting to fall into a hole I couldn't get out of, but my will wasn't that strong and neither were my arms. I kissed him back, hands all over him just as his were on me. Our noses rubbed together and lips moved quickly. I moaned into his mouth, earning one back from him.
He was so good and so bad. He was so, so good. He was the nicest guy I had ever met - or at least he was nice to me. He was funny and adventurous and everything I ever wanted and I loved him more than anything. And I just needed him to be happy and safe.
I pushed Tim away, covering my mouth and running away from him. I cried hard as I slammed the door behind me. I ran up the stairs, my foot getting caught on the stairs. My knees hit the hard wood and I stayed there, crying. I moved to sit on the step, putting my head in my hands.
I waited a whole other week before coming out of Ray's apartment. I needed time to wallow and drown myself in self-pity. Eventually, I surfaced from the sadness and I went out to get groceries for the apartment.
I was unloading the groceries from Ray's car when I saw someone walking up. Maybe not walking. Limping would be a better word.
"Curly Shepard." I smiled widely, glancing down at the cast on his leg before hugging him. "Out in the world, huh?"
Curly had a classic smirk on his face when I pulled away. "Scared?"
"Always."
He sighed, letting the crutches out from under his arms as he leaned against the car. He nodded at the apartment. "You and Ray livin' together?"
I nodded. "Yeah."
Curly nodded, looking out at the road. "Tim's doin' okay."
"Okay?" I pretended not to care.
"I thought you'd want to know. Also, he hasn't so much as looked at another girl, so...it kind of makes you look like a dick now that you're livin' with Ray."
I chuckled, looking over at him. Only Curly would call me a dick. "Thanks, Curly."
He smiled, but it quickly dropped. "Pony says you haven't been to school."
I shrugged. "I guess, yeah."
"He also mentioned the thing with Ray," Curly said to me, smirking even more. "You really like me so much that you'd date this scumbag?"
I glanced at him, leaning against the car beside him. "It wasn't Pony's place to say anything, but, yeah." I looked at him. "I just wanted you to be safe."
"Well, I'm safe now," he said. "You gonna tell Tim or what? It's over now, isn't it?"
I shook my head. "No." I got off the car, grabbing the rest of the groceries. "I'm fine with how things are."
"Bullshit."
I shut the car door and walked toward the apartment. "Don't follow me inside."
"You pushed Pony and Tim away and you're unhappy."
I tried to laugh it off. "Are you high?"
"Jane!"
I turned around, watching him scramble to get his crutches. "Look, Curly..." I sighed. "Ray's in my life, okay? Things are the way they are."
Curly looked at me like I was crazy and he slowly made his way closer to me. "Who are you? Jane..."
I blinked rapidly, holding back the tears. I kissed his cheek quickly, turning around and opened the door to the apartment building. "Maybe I'll see you around, Curly." I walked inside and went up the stairs.
"Jane," Ray greeted once I was inside his place. "Did you get me more cigs?"
"Of course." I reached into my pocket and threw them to him. I watched him catch them and then I timidly asked, "So...do we still have to go to the club tonight?"
Ray said we were going to the club to meet another friend of his. I couldn't stand the thought of having another night like that one. I didn't want to have an awful night with some stranger just to Ray could get on a nice high.
"Yes. Go have a shower or something." Ray stood, clearly having taken the medication and feeling a little better. "I'm gonna go do some stuff."
I nodded, walking into the bathroom and starting a bath. I rubbed my tired eyes as I watched it fill up. I took off my clothes and got in, enjoying the feeling of the warmness soothing my sore muscles. I let me head fall back and I closed my eyes. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up for two seconds, just enough time to turn the bath back on to get some more hot water. Just enough time for me to turn it on and forget to turn it off.
I woke up the second time to Ray's yelling and frantic running. "Jane! Jane!"
I popped up, feeling the wetness sprinkled on my face, the wrinkling on the my fingers and toes. "Wha..." I looked around, realizing that the bathroom floor was completely wet. I stood quickly, wrapping a towel around myself and opening the door, it being revealed that Ray's apartment floor was soaked. "Oh, no."
Ray's eyes snapped up to me and he growled. "Jane."
I ran for the door, holding the towel around me. His stomping behind me made me run faster. I ran straight for his car, getting inside and locking the doors quickly. Knowing that Ray had a bunch of spare keys in stupid places, I lifted up the rug on the car floor and picked up the key.
Ray pounded his hands on the window. "Jane, open this door! Don't you dare drive away! You gotta fix this! Open the door!" He banged harder. "I'm gonna kill you!"
I believed him.
My shaking hands managed to get the key into the ignition. I pressed on the gas, ignoring Ray's screaming and pulling onto the road. I ripped down the street and just drove. I just wanted to be away from Ray.
How could I be so stupid? I was so tired that I fell asleep with the water on. What kind of idiot does that? Ray's floor was ruined probably and he wanted to kill me for it. And I probably deserved it. I was really stupid.
I was driving down the road when I saw someone I sort of recognized. He had his thumb out and a bloody nose. I pulled over, unrolling the window. "You okay?"
His dark hair fell over his face as he leaned down. "Can you give me a ride, doll?"
"Get in," I said, unlocking the door.
He got inside, wiping the blood from his face onto his shirt. "Thanks, uh..."
"Jane."
"King?"
"Yeah."
The guy scoffed. "I find Pony to be the most annoying kid I know, but he's even more annoying when he's talkin' about you. Take me to the Curtis's while we're on the subject."
I smirked, glancing at him. "Steve Randle."
"That's me."
I sighed, going back to what he just said. "Whats Pony say?"
Steve groaned, touching his nose over and over. "He just says that you're makin' a lot of mistakes and you're gonna get yourself hurt or killed or somethin' like that. What're you, hookin'?"
I was offended. "Do I look like a hooker?"
"Whoa, doll face. I've been pretty nonjudgemental so far." Steve's eyes were on me. "I haven't even mentioned the towel."
I was suddenly aware of my bare and still wet arms and legs. I realized how cold and exposed I was. I gripped the wheel nervously. "Oh, shit." I noticed his jacket. "You think you could lend me that?"
He scoffed. "No."
My brows furrowed. "What kind of asshole -"
"What kind of idiot -" Steve interrupted. "Leaves the house in just a towel."
I pulled into the Curtis's driveway. "Out." I looked at him, stern face. "Out!"
Ponyboy walked out of the house at that moment. "Steve, what the hell are you -" He stopped when he saw me and his eyes widened. "Jane."
I got out of the car, walking around the front. "Hey. What's up?"
"Jesus, you're in a towel," Pony said, eyes looking over me in concern. He grabbed my arm a second later, rushing me inside. He brought me to his room and handed me one of his shirts along with a sweater to go over top, and turned around. Then he handed me pants, turning away again.
"I'm done," I said, once the pants were on.
Pony turned around, putting his hands on my arm and rubbing them quickly. "Are you warmer?"
I nodded. "Yeah." I breathed out, walking around him. "Thanks for the stuff. Uh, I guess I'll go."
"What the hell do you mean?" Pony grabbed my arm, spinning me back around. He touched me cold face with his hand and then pushed me toward the bed. "Get under the covers, you're still freezing."
I crawled under the covers and lied there awkwardly. I looked up at him through my eyes and asked him, "Why are you doing this?"
Pony sat on the bed, hand resting on the other side of my knees. "What do you mean?"
I sat up, getting closer to him. "Helping me."
Pony seemed hurt by that comment. "You're my friend, Jane. You're my best friend. I don't like to see you hurt." I quickly hugged him. I wrapped my arms very tightly around him, glad to have someone I loved so much back. That made Pony chuckle. "Okay."
I laughed too, but it quickly turned into a cry. "I'm so sorry for everything. I - I didn't want to disappoint you, but I just -"
Pony pulled me away and looked me in the eyes. "I'm not disappointed and I'm sorry for everything I said before. I just didn't want to see you...I mean, I didn't want to..." Pony sighed and brought me closer. He hugged me again. "I'm just glad you're alive."
We laid back on the bed, my head on his chest, his arm around me. My eyes were fluttering closed. "Can I stay?"
"What have you been telling your brother?"
"I've convinced Paul to tell my mom to tell her that I'm home all the time, but I just go out when she is home. What a coincidence, huh?"
"Jesus, Jane."
"Can I stay or not?"
"Yes."
I closed my eyes, moving away from him and snuggling up to myself. "Thank you."
"Goodnight, Jane."
"Night, Pony."
