Disclaimer: I don't own 'The Outsiders'

Chapter 18:


"Shut up, Paul."

"You shut up, Jane."

I rolled my eyes. "You know damn well the only reason we left the house is to avoid dad. Why you followed me to the drive-in, I don't know. You don't have to be here."

"I didn't follow you. You followed me. Now give me some money for popcorn."

I took out the change I had in my pocket and put it into his hand. "Treat yourself, doll."

Paul's hand reached up and pushed my head. He grumbled and walked away before I could hit him back.

"That guy botherin' you?"

I looked up at the man in front of me. I couldn't see much of him because of the darkness of the night and the lit screen being behind him, but he sounded trustworthy enough. "Nah, I'm good."

"You shouldn't be around here with the likes of him, sweetheart."

I chuckled. "He's my brother, not my boyfriend."

"You're a King?"

My brows furrowed. "Who'd you say you were again?"

"I didn't." He sat down in the seat next to me and looked at me, at least one side of his face illuminated by the drive-in screen. He had intense and wonderful eyes and a smirk on his lips. "I didn't know David and Paul had a littler sister. How little are you, doll?"

"Stop calling me doll."

"Well, what's your name then?"

I grew annoyed of his presence, no matter how pretty he was. "Jane, now cut out."

"Jane King. You're very pretty, Jane King."

I hated myself for blushing. I wasn't that type of girl. "Thanks," I said unenthusiastically, hoping it'd throw him off a bit.

"How old are you?"

"How old are you?" I looked him in the eyes.

He smiled widely, proving the be even more handsome with a smile. "I like you, Jane." He scooted closer, nearly in my seat. "What do you say we get out of here, huh? Go somewhere more private." His fingers touched my cheek, rubbing softly. "Come on, baby. I'd never hurt you. You can trust me."

"I don't even know your name."

"It's Ray."

Maybe I was feeling rebellious or stupid or courageous, but I ended up walking off with him, making out with him ten minutes after that and then in the backseat of his car twenty minutes after that.

I knew it was stupid, but he seemed good. Well, he seemed bad, actually, but he was a good kisser and a good everything else.

I blew the smoke into the air. My back was getting cold against the tomb stone and I felt like I was going a little crazy. "This is the last one, I swear," I said aloud to no one in particular.

I twirled the cigarette between my fingers - two of my five fingers. I had five fingers on my right hand and five on my left. I had all my fingers and all my toes, even though they felt like they were going to fall off from the cold. I had all of that, but I did have blood all on my face and hands and jeans and shirt. My blood, but some of Brent's.

Brent must've not have felt like cutting off any fingers because he just went straight for my face. He cut my cheek first before he cut me twice more - once on my shoulder and one more time on my stomach. He kicked me and punched me, where I fought back a little. There was a little spat of blood on the thigh of my jeans where I punched Brent in the mouth.

I was just thankful it was only Brent. Max had gone back to the car. He didn't want to see. Poor kid. The other guys was ordered a way from Brent. It was too personal. Brent felt like he needed to hurt me on his own. He probably felt like I targeted him on purpose - that I killed Ray just to get at him. Brent was crazy. And strong.

My face hurt and no doubt was bruised a little bit. Most likely, I had a couple little ones on my face and huge ones on the rest of my body. It ached and hurt as I leant up against Ray's headstone at the cemetery.

I felt dirty, but I almost liked it. Brent was punching hard and I thought he was getting his anger out. Hopefully, it'd be the last time he did that. Now that I wasn't around him or Ray or those type of people, I wouldn't be getting beaten up every other day.

I could move on.

I finished the cigarette, knowing it'd be my last one for a while. I stomped on it and started walking. I walked back across town and into a neighbourhood I used to go to all the time. Walking up to that small, blue house was making me a little nervous, but I just wanted to see him.

I knocked and a curly-headed girl opened the door. "Oh, it's you."

I looked past Angela. "Is Tim here?"

"No."

I sighed. "Great."

"You look like shit."

"Thanks," I said, glaring at her.

"I heard Ray died."

I nodded. "Yeah."

She leaned against the doorway, arms crossed over her chest. She was chewing gum and giving me a weird look. "I'm sorry for your loss."

My brows furrowed and I shook my head. "No, you're not."

She smiled. "No, I'm not. He was an asshole and never treated any girl the way she deserved."

"Yeah." I nodded slowly, turning on my feet. "Anyway, I'll see you later, Ang."

"You're gonna go around town lookin' like that?"

I didn't turn around. "Yes."

"Come inside and shower, dumbass."

I turned around, looking at her skeptically. "What, is it a $5 entry fee?"

Angela sighed, taking a step aside and holding the door open wide. "Tim should be home soon. Have a shower, hang around, whatever." She didn't wait for me to walk in before she walked away.

I went back up the steps and walked inside. I closed the door and went to the bathroom, where I stripped down and got into the shower. I turned on the hot water, sighing loudly.

The hot water felt good against my skin. It sank into my muscles and through my whole body - or at least that what it felt like.

"Why don't you?"

"Why don't I what?"

"Ask for a raise," I said, spitting the toothpaste from my mouth into the sink. "You're obviously the best worker there."

"Maybe I will," Tim said from behind the curtain.

I watched the smoke raise from above the shower head. "Jesus, how hot is that shower?"

Tim pulled back the shower curtain a little ways. "Want to find out?"

I tried not to think about any of the memories and just shower. Everyone once in a while, I would look down at the drain and watch the red water sink down. I stayed in the shower until the water sinking down the drain was clear again.

I got out, wrapping a towel around my body and hair, walking into Tim's room.

It looked exactly how it did the last time I was in there. It seemed like not one thing had been moved, not even his bed, which he couldn't ever make properly.

I walked around the room and touched a lot of things, all of them bringing back certain moments I missed. When I made it to the dresser, I rummaged through before I found a big t-shirt of his. I pulled on my underwear, leaving the bra on the ground, and then put on the big t-shirt. I crawled into the warm and comforting bed, pulling the covers over me and resting my head on the pillow.

I looked at the window, blinds closed until I felt myself drifting off. I didn't know how long I was asleep, but the window was still there with light coming from the corners when I woke up.

There were muffled voices in the living room as I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

The door to Tim's door opened quickly after that and Tim came through. He paused when he saw me on the bed, slowly closing the door behind him. "Jane."

I looked him over before looking him in the eyes. "Hey."

He looked so good. I mean, he looked the same as he did, which was good. Every second I spent looking at him just made me love him more and more.

Tim stayed at the door and put his hands on his hips. "What're you doin' here?"

I looked down at the bed, rubbing the sheets between my fingers. "I don't know. I just..."

Tim walked over to the blinds and opened them. "How long have you been here?"

"I don't know."

He turned around, taking one look at my face before groaned loudly. "Jesus, kid, what happened?"

I closed my eyes, falling back agains the bed. "Nothing. At least you know it wasn't Ray."

"Sorry about your loss," Tim said, using the exact same tone as Angela.

"No, you're not."

"No, I'm not."

I put a hand over my eyes in the fear that I would cry. "I'm here because I missed you." I kept my eyes closed and I waited for his response, which seemed to take forever to come.

"Move over."

I rolled over and fixed the blankets as he climbed in. I lifted my head when he put his arm out, resting my head on his shoulder. I put my arm around his torso as his curled around my waist. Our legs tangled together and I never felt so at home and happy than I had in the moment. Feeling his warm body against mine was something I needed months ago. Now that I had it, I felt myself relaxing for the first time in what seemed like an eternity.

"I'm sorry about everything," I said softly.

"Don't apologize."

I leaned up and pecked his lips slowly and softly before nestling back into a comfortable spot. I closed my eyes and let our breathing fall into sync before I started to drift off again.

"Kid."

"Hm?" I hummed in response, too tired to do anything else.

"I told you that I love you, right?"

"No."

"Well, I do."

My finger traced shapes on his chest. "I love you too."


The pale yellow dress I was wearing wasn't anything too flattering, but everyone knew that you're never supposed to look better than the bride. The colour looked good with my skin tone, but not at all with the bruises on my arms. The four days I had been given to heal weren't long enough to make them not noticeable.

It didn't matter anyway. Every single persons eyes were on Molly, who was standing at the alter in a pretty, white dress in front of my brother, who I had never seen wear a tux before. Everyone's eyes were on them - well, almost everyone.

I held the flowers between my fingers, looking at the back at the maid of honours head, half-listening to the sappy vows my brother and his very-soon-to-be-wife were exchanging. I felt eyes on me and I made a quick glance to the guests.

The only reason I invited Tim was because he had nothing to do. I hadn't expected him to come or want to come, but he did. He put on a button up shirt and tucked it into his ratty old jeans. He still wore his converse and had a pack of cigarettes in his back pocket and his hair was still greased back. He sat in the back row and stared at me the whole entire time.

Our eyes met and I smiled. I laughed quietly to myself and mouthed subtly, "Stop."

Tim smirked, not looking away.

The ceremony was over pretty soon after that. David and Molly kissed and everyone clapped, including me. I fixed the hem of my dress as I followed the other bridesmaids out of the church.

Everyone went around back to have the reception. Their were tables and chairs, one table bigger than the other, where the bride and grooms family sat. The other tables were smaller with less chairs. The table in the middle of everything was completely empty and I was anticipating there to be a cake.

As everyone was settling in, I walked over to the table Pony and Curly were sitting at. David said I could bring three friends and I chose as wisely as I could.

"Hey, bend over again, sweetheart."

Maybe inviting Curly wasn't so wise.

I smacked the side of his head. "Curly!"

He rubbed his curly head of hair and smirked up at me. "You look pretty damn nice too, Jane."

I smiled a little. "Shut up."

"No, you really look like a girl."

I gave him a look. "You sayin' I'm usually looking like a boy?"

Curly held up his hands in defence. "I ain't sayin' nothin'."

I looked over at Pony. "Do I look boyish?"

Pony hesitated for a short second. "Not today you don't."

I laughed lightly, reaching out putting my around around his shoulders. My hip rested against the side of his chair. "You guys gonna be okay on your own?"

Curly nodded. "Yeah."

I looked at Pony, never trusting Curly's answer. "Again, you guys gonna be okay on your own?"

Pony smiled softly, patting my lower back. "Of course."

I nodded and walked through the nicely set up tables. I walked on the grass until I reached the small church. I quickly made my way through it, always feeling like I shouldn't be allowed in the holy house, to a back room, knocking lightly.

"Come in!"

I opened the door to see both of my brothers, David fixing Paul's tie. "Hey." I looked at David. "You completely booked it and I didn't get a chance to say congratulations."

David gave up on Paul's tie, an ever-lasting smile on his face as he wrapped his arms around me. He hugged me tightly, lifting my feet off the ground and spinning me around. "I'm married!"

I laughed, waiting until my feet were on the ground before I said, "Yeah, I know. I was there."

He kissed my cheek, still smiling when he pulled away. His face would be hurtin' tomorrow, but he didn't seem to care. "I'm just so happy. I mean, two years ago, I thought none of this would happen. Now, I'm moved out, promoted at work, and married to the chick I love."

I smiled, rubbing his upper arm lovingly. "I'm really happy for you, David."

He looked at me, little crinkles already forming around his eyes. He looked so happy. "Thanks, Jane."

"Okay, but tell me you aren't at least a little disappointed you won't be able to get any other girls for the rest of your life."

I glared at Paul. "Paul!"

David laughed, his hand landing on Paul's shoulder. "You'll understand one day, Pauly."

Paul snorted, pulling out a cigarette and putting it in his mouth. "Like damn hell I will. The only finger I'm ever puttin' a ring on is that of Raquel Welch."

"Because that's going to happen," I said sarcastically, grabbing the cigarette from his lips. "Do you know where you are right now? Swearin', smokin' a cigarette - Paul, you're in the house of God."

Paul smirked at me. "When did you become such a square?"

I rolled my eyes, turning around and almost out the door. "Just tryin' to keep us in God's good graces, Pauly." I walked outside of the church, cigarette still in hand. When I spotted Tim on his own by on of the tables, I walked over to him. "You doin' okay?"

He nodded, thumbs in his belt loops. "Yeah, I'm good, kid." He looked me up and down obviously. "You good?"

I smirked. "I don't know, am I?"

He put his arm around me, pulling me into his side. "Very." His nose touched mine, lips following very soon after. He kissed me for a couple of seconds before abruptly sitting down in a chair. He pulled me into his lap, showing no bother to have me that close to him in front of all the people at the wedding.

He saw the cigarette in my hands. "Why do you have that?"

"Oh, it's not mine. I took it from Paul." I held it out to him. "You want it?"

Instead of taking it and lighting it like I thought he would, he shook his head. "No. I"m trying not to."

"What?" I asked, eyes wide. "Since when have you refused a cigarette ever?"

Tim shrugged lightly, tapping his fingers against the clothed table. "Just some stupid thing some girl told me about cigarettes shortening your life."

I smirked. "She sounds pretty smart."

Tim looked at me, almost no expression. "Pretty, too."

My eyes narrowed, though I couldn't not smile. "What are you playin' at?"

Tim didn't say anything for a second and then his hand touched my lower back, rubbing it gently. "You already ran off once, kid, and who knows when you're gonna run off again. I think I oughta step my game up this time around."

It wasn't what I expected. I mean, it wasn't like Tim went around and said much about his thoughts or feelings. I also had to do my best as just guessing. If this was his way of telling me he loved me, I'd take it.

Everything was so right. Everything had gone from good to bad to really, really bad to good to great in a span of a few months. It was a roller coaster for sure, but at least Tim was waiting for me when it was all over. And I had never felt so connected and in love with someone in my entire life. I didn't know a damn thing about soulmates, and I couldn't tell you what it was if you asked, but I had a sneaking suspicion that Tim was it for me.

I smiled at him. "I like that."

"If you like that, you'll love this." Tim grabbed my hips and pushed me off of him lightly. He stood, took a swig of a beer on the table and then held out his hand, smirk playing on his nice, sweet lips. "Wanna dance?"