Chapter 23

I was in love with my new horse. Lily was a beautiful mare, and as even- tempered and kind as any horse I had known. Oddly, she and Jemma became immediate friends, as if they had known they were connected through Sir Guy. Jemma fussed unless I allowed her to sleep in Lily's stall with her, and I found them in there each morning, Lily snoozing on her feet and Jemma snuggled up nearby. I had never seen two animals become such fast friends, and to watch them gently chase one another in the field brought me great joy. At times like these, Father gruffly smiled and made a half-hearted complaint about having too many mouths to feed. Not that we were hurting anymore for funds, as my last translation had brought in enough coin to keep our homestead in good repair for quite some time.

I had received word from Sir Guy that the latest letter had come, so I decided to make my trip to the lily grove early in the morning, before Hood's gang was likely to be awake. Rather than take Lily, though I would have loved to do so, I decided it was more prudent and less visible to go on foot. I had borrowed one of Sir Guy's shorter swords and concealed it under my dress in case of trouble. As I had the previous time, I stopped by Charmaine's house for a quick visit, and took Simon with me. He was ever alert, and calmed my nerves yet again. Despite his sweet nature, he was the most alert housedog I had ever met. If the wind changed, he noticed, his rose shaped ears pricking. As we negotiated the way up the hill, Simon's nose trembled at an alarming rate and he let out a long, soft growl. I turned, looking in all directions, around and behind me, but saw nothing. I slowly grasped the unfamiliar hilt of Guy's sword. "Who's there?" I called out. "If you are there, show yourself!"

I waited, holding Simon at the ready. He had stopped growling but stood at attention, his body tensed for action. Suddenly, three starlings burst out of a hedge close by, flying at me and upwards, and Simon strained on the rope, jumping to snap at them. Startled, I pulled him back, hanging onto that rope for dear life as he attempted to drag me back and away after the birds. Sighing in exasperation, I gave the rope a sharp tug. Simon coughed and the tension eased. "You lurch," I snapped, annoyed. "Guarding me with your life from birds!"

We continued up the path, into the grove and into the mill remains. I looked around carefully as I stepped inside, and was pleased to see my mother's crest, still tattered but hanging proudly above the clothing. I stroked it for a moment, feeling close to her whenever I came here, wishing she could see what I was doing, and be proud of me for it. I always longed for her approval, which could never really be won. I leaned down to open the package of wrapped clothing, and found a very small piece of paper underneath the next gown. I looked around quickly again, still keeping one eye on Simon, who had wandered close by, sniffing at the ground with an intensity that worried me. I continued surveying the grove, but seeing nothing, tucked the paper into my bodice, and took another fine cloak from the pile. I needed another disguise to go to Sir Guy's in case Sabine happened by as she had previously.

"Simon, come!" I called, and the Boxer bounded happily towards me. I took the rope and began to lead him down the hill, holding the cloak in my other arm. It was heavy with brocade and beading and I found myself wishing I had at least taken Gwynna so that my arm would ache less. But I knew it would be too obvious if I had another animal with me. Simon pulled a bit as we went down the hill, knowing he was getting closer to home, and therefore, Elena. I found myself stumbling a bit more, and was relieved when we finally came down the hill and onto the path that led by Charmaine's. I had begun to tie Simon to the doorway when I heard a voice call out, "Nyssa! There you are!"

I froze. It was Will.

You have no reason to be nervous, or really to speak with him, I told myself. I continued tying a slow, very tight knot as I heard Will's steps come close. "Nyssa!" Will called.

Simon, not recognizing Will, began growling and then barking, straining against the rope. I turned to address Will and stood next to Simon as the racket increased with his every step.

"He doesn't like strangers," I said coldly.

"But I'm not a stranger to you," Will replied, almost jovial.

In answer, I crossed my arms, glaring at him, and did nothing to discourage Simon's addled boo-wooing. His barks sounded more like baying, and I was certain that the entire Seward family would be outside soon, demanding to know why their dog was acting like Cerberus.

"Well, then," Will said, stopping about five feet before me and the dog, who abandoned his barks for a deep, frightening growl. "I will keep my distance."

"That would be wise, I think," I replied. I was playing it cool, but I could feel sweat on my brow, thinking of the letter I had in my bodice. Was it obvious? Could Will see the outline of it? How long had he followed me? I licked my lips.

"Will, why are you here?" I asked tiredly, feeling it as well. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to see you," Will said. As kind as he sounded, Simon was not buying his sweet tone. Growls flared in his direction.

"You've been able to see me at any market day," I answered, "but haven't been. Why this meeting, here?" My eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Will squirmed, refusing to meet my eyes. He eyed Simon, and I could tell he wanted to move closer to me, but was afraid of the dog. "Can we not speak as friends, Nyssa?" he asked.

"Are we friends?" I asked evenly. "Last we spoke you made it quite clear you had no time for me, because of my politics."

"I know and I regret the distance I have placed between us," Will said. "I miss you, Nyssa."

He took a cautious step closer, and Simon snapped lightly in his direction. Instantly he stepped back, and I could not resist a small smile. "Good boy," I said sweetly to Simon. I heard the front door open and John, Charmaine's husband poked his head out of it. "Good God, you waspish beast," he said to Simon fondly. "Haven't you given enough of a sermon today?"

John walked outside, which quieted Simon immediately. The dog transformed into his usual smiling, panting self, and John scratched his ears, eyeing me and then Will. "Is all well, Nyssa?" he asked. "I can take the dog inside if he is troubling you."

I sighed. "Perhaps that would be best," I said. I really had no desire to speak with Will, but I knew if I didn't the entire village would be clamoring for silence soon. John kept a steady gaze at Will. "Scarlett," he said, nodding. Will nodded back. "I do hope you are keeping well. I have not seen you at the market for many weeks now."

Will avoided his gaze. "I have had other pressing business," he said.

"I wish you well with it. It must be very important for you to miss assisting your father," John said, a bit of acid in his tone. He untied Simon's rope and led him indoors. "We are inside if you need anything, Nyssa," John said, glancing pointedly at Will before closing the door.

Will breathed a small sigh of relief and looked at me. He looked as tired as I felt, his hazel eyes seeming a bit dimmer than usual. I could tell he had been in the woods as of late. His clothes needed washing and his hair was curling from the humidity. In that moment, I felt a bit sorry for him, but reminded myself of his recent behavior. "Well?" I asked, trying to sound softer than my words.

"I was very hasty in abandoning our courtship," Will said carefully. "I'm sorry for the way that I left you at Gisborne's. I was angry and…I should have waited."

I nodded. "Yes. I agree."

"I wanted to find you," Will said, "so that I could return this." He withdrew my sword from his cloak. "Hood had no right to take it."

I sighed with relief. I had missed its calming heft at my side, and hated the awkwardness of the short sword Guy had given me. I reached out to take it, still noting Will's personalized touch with the lily on the hilt. As I did, he caught my hand.

Our eyes met. His were full of apology, and mine of confusion, I was sure. I raised an eyebrow, one of Guy's signature expressions. Will held my hand in a gentle squeeze, and I could tell he did not want to release me to give me the sword. I pulled back slightly, still eyeing him with suspicion. He signed, rleased me and then handed me the sword.

"Thank you," I said quietly, my eyes downcast. "Will you be going back to Hood now?" I asked.

"Unless I have a reason to stay here," Will said steadily, stepping towards me. He gently raised his hand to my face and stroked my cheek. "God, you are so beautiful," he said intensely. I felt my body stiffen as he began leaning forward to kiss me. I puled back from him, putting a hand up gently.

"Will, I appreciate that you have missed me, but you can't simply expect me to act as if nothing has changed," I said.

"Has something changed?" Will said. His tone implied that whatever it was involved Sir Guy. I sighed impatiently. "You know it has. We haven't seen each other in weeks."

"Yet I can't believe that you have seen no one else," Will said, more than a hint of bite in his tone.

"If you mean Sir Guy then yes, I am still helping him. And as you have given me no cause to think we are still friends, I can hardly see that it is your business."

"Oh, Nyssa," Will said, moving forward again. Before I realized it, his arms had encircled me. "Lovely. Why must you ally yourself with him?" Before I could stop it, his lips had descended on mine, and he was kissing me softly. I felt myself grow warm and angry at the same time. His lips covered my protest. "You," he said softly, "could be a valuable asset to the right side."

I abruptly broke off the kiss and pushed Will away. "Is this your request, or Hood's?" I said, fury making me shake. "Is that the real reason you sought me out to return the sword?"

Will's eyes betrayed the answer by looking ashamed. My anger doubled. "So, this has nothing to do with reconciling yourself to me. You want me to spy on Sir Guy!"

"Only for a short while!" Will said quickly, trying to soothe me. "You would be protected completely by us. We would never ask you to do anything that would endanger yourself, only to provide information—"

"From the very person I promised to help!" I snapped. "You would ask me to betray his trust to gain yours?"

"He has deep feelings for you, Nyssa," Will said shrewdly. "I hear he no longer visits his fiancee's bed, and scorns other women. That is true power, Nyssa. It could be used to advantage."

"The question is whose," I said shortly. "Will, I made a promise. I won't betray Sir Guy."

Will's eyes grew cold. He released me roughly, his whole body stiff. "So you would rather be a nobleman's whore than an honest man's wife?" he spat at me. "You choose him over me?"

"I am, nor ever will be, any man's whore," I said evenly, holding his gaze. "I hold true to my beliefs, and no man's agenda. Call me what you will, but I know the truth of myself. Your judgment of me means nothing, based on your own behavior." I then held out the sword he had retuned to me, turning it on him. "Now get out of here."

Will continued glaring, both hurt and furious at the same time. He turned to leave, tossing over his shoulder,

"Much luck to you, whore of Gisborne. If you bear his bastard, expect no quarter from Hood or Locksley village."

"You are not Locksley village, Will Scarlett!" I called back. "And much luck to you, whore of Hood!" Tears stung my eyes, but I would not let him see them. I had once had feelings for this man, who had turned hateful and horrible to me. It was as if noting had ever existed between us, as if no words of love or passion had been exchanged. How could he become so icy, so callous towards one he had claimed to love? Part of my pain stemmed from feeling as if I could not follow my heart and be true to those I loved. Father, Will, Guy, all suspected me, and no one trusted me…

I turned, tears streaming down my face. Despite my feelings I had a job to do. I began hurrying home to read the message, change, and get Lily to Gisborne Manor. I had to be there before nightfall or it was more likely that I would run into Sabine. I swiped a hand across my face hurriedly, almost running, feeling the pain course through my veins as my heart rate rose, the heavy cloak weighing me down, my lungs heaving, my feet carrying me fast.