Alright, so here is that Rex/Kanari fluff scene. I had to change it to third person in order to make it easier for me to stay true(er) to Rex's nature.
Rex woke in a cold sweat, shaking despite the warm air. He raked a hand over his scalp, forcing his breathing to slow down.
Pale moonlight glowed, filtering through the large window on his end of the room and putting more shadows than he cared to see across the floors and bunks. A few of the others tossed and turned in their beds, nightmares plaguing their sleep. The only one not turning was Ridge, but his breathing wasn't as deep as it should have been.
Sleep would be impossible at this point; he got out of bed and put on his armor, leaving the pauldron in the trunk. No sense in getting fully suited if there's no battle. Part of him wanted there to be a battle, just to escape the endless nights of sleeplessness and nightmares. Carefully, he stepped toward the door, making sure to avoid the floorboards that squeaked. He was almost to the door when Ridge woke up, rubbing an eye sleepily.
"You okay Cap'n?" he said, his words slurring together.
"I'm fine kid. Go back to sleep." Ridge stiffened slightly at Rex's calling him "kid".
"C'mmander had a nightmare the other night," he said, now kneeling on his bed. He was still rubbing an eye, but he was a little more focused. "You wanna talk 'bout it?" Brotherly concern riddled his tired eyes as he looked at Rex through the darkness. There was no way he would have been able to stay up for much longer.
Part of Rex wanted to talk about the recent nightmares he'd had, thinking speaking about it would get it off his chest. But look what talking got you. More nightmares that are even worse than before—he cut off his thought process before it could continue, forcing it to a small space at the back of his mind. He knew that talking—however much it may hurt or help him—would be unfair to Ridge. The entire time of their visit, he'd been trying to get a full night's sleep with all of Crusade Squad's and his tossing and turning. It was evident by his slow movements and lackadaisical responses that he need more sleep, not less.
"No thanks kid, I'm fine," he said, declining the offer.
Ridge seemed almost upset for a moment, before he slowly nodded and lay back down on his bed. "Alright. G'night Captain," he said, already falling back asleep.
"Good night kid," he said quietly, heading out the door. Rex heard him say "it's Ridge" under his breath just as he left.
In the hallways, everything was still, quiet. The light from the large windows lining one side made odd patterns on the floors as clouds passed over the moons. Rex decided to take a walk to clear his head, letting the emptiness of the halls fill his mind as he wandered. Even at night, the air was warm. He had no destination; he just wanted to get as far away from the barracks as possible. The images from his nightmare refused to leave, replaying themselves over and over in his mind, one particular detail sticking out from the rest.
Rex shook his head to clear it, not letting his nightmare take over his relaxing walk. I need something to distract myself, he thought, frowning. Almost immediately, Kanari's smiling face came to mind. He could almost feel her hand brushing against his shoulder in the kitchen when she wanted his attention. Kanari's bright green eyes were always smiling, small dimples appearing in her cheeks whenever she laughed.
Rex could feel his heart rate jump a bit, something that always made him worry whenever he was around Kanari. He'd spoken to Cord about what was going on with the reactions he was having.
He'd told Rex that what he was he was feeling was normal, and that he should wait it out. The most likely cause of the increased heart rate was the extra sugar in his diet. Cord had said that he should wait and eventually the symptoms would abate. Waiting didn't seem like a reasonable option to Rex; he was a command clone who, along with Bliz, needed to make sure that all the men stayed in line. They were in the middle of a war, and he couldn't afford to be taken down by sugar.
Bliz's scowling face instantly appeared in his head, reminding him of the day he accused Rex of—
You can't think about that either, he reminded himself sternly. But even still, he couldn't help but wonder why Bliz's moods would often change as quickly as they did. He tended to let people get close too close to him—especially children—and something would happen that would make him less of his usually smiling self.
Sometimes, he would direct that anger at Rex, or his men, or other members of Crusade Squad.
It was understandable that he would occasionally get overwhelmed, but more often than not he would hold in whatever it was that he was feeling. No brother should have to feel that way, no matter how independent they thought they were.
Despite Bliz's sometimes cold feelings toward him, Rex still considered him one of his closest brothers, besides Cody. So why would he say the things he did to Rex?
He contemplated this as he strolled through the dark hallways of the palace. Jealousy could be an option. Rex had seen it happen in his men before; one moment, they're the best of brothers, and the next one of them gets special praise from Ahsoka and they hate each other. Normally—thankfully—this wasn't a standing problem, although Rex wasn't sure what he had that Bliz would be jealous of.
Rex recalled Bliz saying that the men on his ship didn't have...the best of relationships at times. He'd said their sense of brother hood wasn't as strong as that of the 501st.
Brothers are brothers. There is no changing that.
Eventually, Rex came upon a door labeled "Roof Access" in the native Verinese language, the same words written in Basic directly below. He would have passed it had the words not caught in the corner of his eye. I could use some fresh air, he thought, trying the handle and finding it unlocked. Rex made his way up the well-maintained stairwell, not bothering to search for a light switch.
Cool air washed over his face as he opened the wooden door, and he stepped out cautiously onto the roof. Rex had a feeling he wasn't allowed to be up there, not at that hour, at least. He ignored that feeling and walked out further.
The roof was wide, and it would have been larger if he had gone to the main roof in the center of the palace. The only things to adorn the wide area were a low wall with tall, ornate black fencing that curved slightly at the tip toward the ground, and a small white table with chairs in the center.
Rex walked to the edge of the rooftop, looking down at the gardens and then the fields beyond it. Tiny glowing lights floated through the air, varying in shades from blue, to greens and pinks, and the occasional red flash of light. While he'd read the general database for the planet of Verocia, he didn't recall anything about small glowing insects—unless they weren't insects.
He could have been crazy, but Rex had seen Separatists disguise cameras and bombs as anything; rocks, toys, bugs, entire buildings.
Rex's hand twitched at his side, but he forced it to stay still. He placed it on the pistol when he heard a creek behind him.
Kanari stepped through the door, at first not noticing Rex. Almost instantaneously, Rex's gut began to churn in a not-entirely-unpleasant sort of way. It still felt odd, though.
"Oh! Rex, am I bothering you?" Kanari asked, stepping out onto the rooftop. Her pale orange-pink skin seemingly glowed in the moonlight of the full moon, and the breeze pushed her dark hair around her face. Her bright green eyes locked onto his. They were a sharp contrast to the darkness that surrounded them.
"No. You can stay if you like," he answered, turning back to the moon and field.
Kanari stood by his side. The way she held herself struck something in the back of Rex's mind. It reminded him of his nightmares.
The briefest distressed expression crossed his features. Kanari caught it.
"Rex, what's wrong? Are you alright?" she asked, concern loud and clear in her voice. She stepped closer, and he fought the urge to take a step back.
Rex kept his gaze rooted to the field with its tiny glowing lights. "I'm fine. Don't worry yourself about me." Lie. He was nowhere near fine. The nightmares Rex had been trying so hard to suppress came rushing to the surface again.
"Rex," Kanari took his hand in hers. "Are you alright?"
A little bit of information from the file he'd read on Verocia and the native species popped into his head. The females were intimate by nature, although most of that closeness stemmed from the natural maternal instinct they were all born with. His hand in hers meant nothing.
"I was just remembering a bad dream I had." Rex almost eyed Kanari's tight grip on his palm, but he didn't do anything. Frankly, he didn't know what to do. Her hand wasn't necessarily bothering him, and she wasn't trying to do him harm.
"Nightmares?" Kanari's eyes glanced briefly down to his hand. "Do you want to talk about them?" It must have been the motherly concern speaking for her.
Talking was the last thing Rex wanted to do. "You were in them," he said. "As was everyone else. I've had them before; I know how to deal with them."
If Kanari sensed his sudden coldness—which she probably did—she didn't comment or make any show of knowing. She didn't say anything, but Rex felt the pressure on his gloved hand increase as she squeezed it.
Rex focused his attention back on the small field with the glowing insects.
"Those are nighmoths—at least, in Basic they are," Kanari said, following where his eyes went. She crossed her arms and unconsciously rubbed them up and down.
Rex's hand felt almost bereft when she pulled away. He decided to leave it up to logic that she'd been warming his hand, and now it was just cold. That made sense. "Nighmoths…" Rex repeated the word.
"They only come out at night, and you only see this many on full moons and winter or summer solstices," she said, admiring the glowing insects with him.
"Do you ever see them during the daytime?" he asked.
"Not unless they're sleeping, and even then they would be under leaves in bushes or trees, things like that," she answered.
So, they weren't Separatist spy-bots.
Rex looked back down to the field of multi-colored glowing dots
"Normally, there aren't this many, even on a full moon," she said quietly.
"When are there this many?" I asked.
"Usually for feeding and mating."
Rex felt his back stiffen slightly, but he kept a straight face. Of all the times to react like that…
Somewhere beside him, Kanari giggled, the sound making Rex feel even stranger. She couldn't have seen him, not with her attention on the nighmoths. She might have sense his childish reaction, considering how sensitive to emotion Verocians were—or she was giggling at a memory, or the bugs.
Rex forced his gaze to remain on the bugs, not allowing Kanari the opportunity to tease him.
Kanari's smile faded as she looked down on the field. "They also say that when there are a lot of red nighmoths, loved ones are going to die," her voice took on an almost sad tone, smile completely gone now. Rex noticed her sudden change in demeanor, how her seemed to pale slightly. "I've been having bad feelings lately…"
Right then she looked at Rex, and he saw something brief flash through her bright green eyes. Just as quickly as it came, it was gone, and she turned back to the field, leaning forward against the low wall.
"I won't let that happen," he said with steely resolve. "I came here to protect your people; I intend to do that."
She smiled briefly, but didn't say anything.
A flash of red and yellow lit up above him, a loud boom sounding right after. Years of training kicked in and the seasoned Captain immediately had his blasters in his hands, aiming for where the explosion came from.
"Relax Rex!" Kanari said, trying to force his arms down.
Rex ignored the jolt that went through my system and looked her in the eye. "We need to—"
"They're just fireworks." Kanari smiled, then chuckled as she stepped back again, although not as far as before.
Fireworks.
Damned fireworks.
Congratulations Rex, a wry voice said. You've just reached a new level of idiot—
"What's wrong? Haven't you seen fireworks before?" She was giving him a strange look, curious and slightly teasing and overall amused. She pushed his arms down all the way.
"They sound exactly like grenades going off," Rex answered, his voice low. He holstered his pistols again and stood back.
"Oh…" Kanari had never heard grenades blast off near her head before. She tried to lighten the mood. "You came around the time of the national holiday," she spoke, leaning forward again on the low wall.
When the mission was over, Rex was going to have a word with the person who wrote the stats and files for the planet. "There are Separatist ships hanging around this side of the planet."
"The fireworks are being shot off from the moons," she supplied, not taking her eyes off of the flashes of color. "I came up here because I wanted to see them." She also couldn't sleep; Ri had woken up crying and running to her room in the middle of the night. She kept saying something bad was going to happen.
Rex silently marveled at the brilliant colors of purple and blue. The flashes lit up the area around them, including the field with the tiny nighmoths. The entire area—palace and fields—was surrounded in a rainbow of colors as the fireworks went off.
A breeze blew, and while he couldn't feel most of it because of his armor, Rex noticed that Kanari shivered. She wrapped her sweater closer around her body, rubbing her arms up and down.
Rex didn't entirely know what to do. He shuffled half a step closer to her side. "You're cold, maybe we should go inside," he said, keeping his hands firmly crossed behind my back.
"No, I want to see the rest of the fireworks." She shifted closer to him. They were less than half a meter apart.
They watched the fireworks in silence for a few more minutes.
Rex's tongue suddenly loosened, words flowing unbidden from his mouth. "I don't know whether it's because we're revisiting this planet, but I've been having nightmares—almost every night. In my nightmares…" Just as quickly as the words came, they died.
"Rex…" she turned toward him again, care shining in her eyes.
"You died…" There they were. It was something he didn't want to admit; he wasn't able to protect anyone in his nightmares. The guilt still settled on him as if it were real, though.
Kanari remained silent, instead taking Rex's hand in hers again, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
Rex's gut twisted again. They were almost the same height; he had a direct view into her eyes and could see the different shades of green and yellow around the rims. No pupil.
He didn't want her to die. Rex didn't want anyone to die—and that was something one had to remember as a command clone; soldiers were going to die, whether it was planned or not.
Hesitantly, as if afraid by how he would react, her hand came up and rested on his chest. Rex didn't move a muscle. Kanari's hand finally came under his chin and brought his face closer.
The fireworks display immediately melted a slight ringing in the Captain's ears. All he could see were the flashes of color on her face as she pressed her lips against his.
Too stunned and confused to do anything for a second, he let it happen.
His body stiffened, but he didn't push her away. In an automatic reaction Rex allowed himself the kiss.
Somewhere in the background, Rex's subconscious registered the creak of the wooden door that lead to the roof.
Rex felt strange new things flowing through him that he'd never felt before. Kanari pressed her hand against his jaw, rubbing it against the stubble that had accumulated there. Her lips were soft, and warm, and held a new sort of pleasantness to them that wasn't like a full stomach or a good night's rest.
Rex pulled away. What had only lasted a second but felt like minutes was over. He was a soldier of the Grand Army of the Republic. He was bred, trained, to fight, kill, and ultimately win battles. Whatever it was that he was feeling, he didn't know how to do it right.
"Kanari, I can't," he said, his voice quiet. He took a half step back, keeping his eyes glued to the field on his right. The fireworks were suddenly very loud in his ears.
"Oh no," Kanari gasped, removing her hands from his face. "Rex, I am so sorry…"
Why was she apologizing? Rex should have been the apologetic one. He was about to point that out when she continued on.
"Rex, I shouldn't have assumed that you…that you wanted to—" Kanari stuttered. Despite her apologetic tone, Rex could see the veiled hurt look in her eyes.
"No, Kanari, it's my fault. I…" His voice trailed. Rex had never had to go through this kind of situation before. Battles, he was good at. He could create strategies that destroyed Separatist advances, but when it came to something as simple as apologizing Rex drew up blank.
His silence prompted an assumption from Kanari.
"There's someone else, isn't there?" she asked quietly, looking at her feet. She took a step back, further distancing herself from him.
She was apologizing for something that wasn't her fault, for feelings that she couldn't control. Rex wouldn't let that happen. "No Kanari, that's not it. I'm a soldier. I was bred to fight for the Republic and kill if I have to. I wasn't made to feel…these things. I've never—"
"I understand, Rex," Kanari said softly. A sad smile spread across her lips as she looked at him.
There were still more reasons.
It was strictly against protocol to fraternize with civilians during a battle.
Rex wasn't made to love, he was made to fight.
He was scared.
The last revelation hit him like a cold punch to the gut. The Captain of the 501st was scared. Scared that he was going to hurt her because he didn't know what to do, scared that if he made a promise he couldn't keep, they'd both end up in pain.
He'd made promises he sorely regretted later on, and he did not want to go through it again.
Scared because he didn't know what to do; it was too fast, too much for him.
Shame washed over Rex as he looked at her. "Kanari, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lead you on." He needed to give her a better explanation than what he did. "I wouldn't know what to do in this sort of relationship. I've never experienced something like this. I'm not ready, Kanari, and I'm not sure if I will be."
"It's okay, Rex," she whispered, turning back to the low wall. He could tell that it wasn't okay with her; she was confused and hurt, but she was still willing to respect his wishes.
The fireworks still boomed, spreading colors across the roof top. Rex wanted them to stop. The unwanted guilt he felt made him feel horrible, and the explosions reminded him more and more of a battle field.
Knowing that Kanari wasn't looking at him, he cast at glance at her, studied the way she leaned against the low wall and the unreadable expression on her face. She blinked once, too fast, and cleared the shininess from her eyes.
Yet another piece of information reappeared in Rex's mind, something about the bonds Verocians created with anyone they got close to. They were able to feel the emotions of whoever they'd started to bond with. Kanari had been bonding with Rex from when they first met to when they kissed.
Where Rex felt guilty, Kanari's pain was almost ten times worse.
Rex would have had to find a way to distract himself from that thought had the door not creaked again.
"We heard explosions; turns out, they were just fireworks. Is it okay if we stay here to watch them?" Marik, completely oblivious, said, looking to Kanari for permission.
"Sure, stay as long as you want," Kanari answered, her tone remaining coldly neutral. She motioned to the gap between herself and Rex.
Rex couldn't help but suppress a flinch. He shifted over to make more space for Bliz and Marik, keeping his own expression neutral.
Bliz spared a glance at Rex. His look asked what happened, but Rex was sure he already knew. He'd been spying. That was when the door had first creaked.
Rex looked back up to the explosions of color directly above him, ignoring Bliz's intense stare by his side.
He'd hurt Kanari when he wasn't trying to. No matter what she'd tried to do, he saw the pain.
Rex swore to himself that he would make it up to her.
Please tell me if there are any first person pronouns in here that are outside of quotes. Converting this whole thing and then writing the kiss so it was more one-sided to fit Rex's character was tough.
~AAx
Edit: Had to fix this again because the level of ooc-ness for Rex was embarrassing—I needed to make him stiffer. Please tell me if anything still seems off.
