60.

It was hardly inevitable. For 'future retrospect,' it was probably for the best that it happened so quickly. Get it all out. Rip that band-aid off. And once everything is open and exposed… the healing can begin.

After the screaming duel, however.

"Why are you making me out to be a whore?" Roxas yelled from his knelt position on his bed. "I've only slept with two guys!"

"I'm sure there's been a point in time when whores have only slept with two guys," Sora argued, arms crossed, standing just in front of the bedroom door, and not one step further. Thank god the door was closed, but not really… Blue eyes narrowed at identical irises. "It's disgusting, Roxas! If you're going to let someone like that –who you've only really known for like two days! –fuck you, then I'd rather not know who else you intend to let into your bed. It sickens me as it is. Who knows who it could be next week!" His arms visibly tightened. "God, I can't believe you'd be so easy."

"It's not being easy." Roxas countered, icily. "Tidus isn't just taking something from me. I want it too. And I'm getting it."

"Euuugh!" Sora scrunched up his face, as if looking at Roxas was burning his very eyeballs.

He knew it. Sora saw straight through it all. Roxas didn't want this. It just looked like the something he wanted and his brother was saying 'close enough!' How could he be so dim? So dense? And, how could Roxas, of whom he though so highly, be so self-destructive? This could fuck him up. If Roxas kept this up – this way of thinking – it would not be easy to repair.

"You can lie to yourself all you want, bro – that's your problem. But don't you dare start lying to me." Sora lowered his voice in an attempt to sound more serious. "I know you know you don't want this. I know you're settling. And you don't—you shouldn't have to!" At that moment, Sora's voice changed from exasperated to animatedly accusatory. "Don't waste your time on this! You're being stupid!"

By now, Roxas had had enough and switched into full-defense mode. And since the best defense was a good offense…

"What the fuck do you know." Blue ice.

He began offens-ing. With all the insults and being derogated he just had to fire some back. "What the fuck makes you think you know anything about it?"

Sora gave a look that was meant to convey how ever so disappointed the brunet was that his brother was missing the point, and it pushed Roxas past irate.

"NO! That's just it! You know NOTHING! You don't have a goddamn clue because you sit here with your first one and only boyfriend–and now you think you know everything about love and sex and people? Go fuck yourself, man," he spat. "You don't know shit because all you've ever known is Riku." And suddenly, with the mention of the silveret's name, Roxas found the urge to further raise his voice, because mentioning Riku strikes something within Sora, and Roxas had to make sure he was listening, because he was fucking tired of not being heard.

"NOT EVERYBODY HAS A RIKU, SORA!" he bellowed. "Not everyone lucks out with their first boyfriend being the fucking perfect boy-next-door, who's loved them since diapers, and fucking worships the ground they walk on." But then Roxas' throat suddenly hardened. A part of him seemed to remember just how jealous he was of Sora, and the brunet in question was beginning to pick up on it as well.

Roxas hung his head a bit; maybe out of shame, but maybe just out of exhaustion. "You know… this could have been the other way around." Roxas absently pulled a pillow in front of him and began kneading it into submission, sort of reflecting the motions of his mind. His mind being the pillow, of course. "Why do you get the smooth-sailing relationship with someone who's known you forever, has cared about you forever, and has no doubt in his mind that he wants to be with you?" Whereas I have to fight tooth and bloody nail for him to even acknowledge me? "Even when you guys fight…" Roxas shook his head, a dour laugh escaping. "He climbs up a fucking tree to get the goodnight kiss."

Sora couldn't help it. He walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. (Probably the safest spot, right?) He threw an arm around Roxas' shoulders; not pulling him in, but just to have it there.

"You've got this whole love story, and I…"Beneath his bangs, Roxas stared, blankly; flashing back to all the long-gone memories of him and Axel. "I get a prologue."

It hurt to think about it now. It made him feel ashamed to think that he experienced so much happiness, so much joy, felt forever changed by the redhead… and Axel was not and had never been on the same page. And why was it shame that rang out so much? Maybe because he had invested more than what he had gotten back? Maybe it was the shame that Axel could made him feel, and yet he couldn't make Axel feel for him as well. Like Axel had the power. And he had none. Like he was just a friend with benefits. An object. A whore.

"Sora, you're lucky," he confessed. "I deserve it just as much as you do. Why does everything just happen for you and I have to settle for what's left?"

"But that's what I'm saying, Roxas –you don't have to settle!"

"Yes I do!" He snapped. If anything he's been arguing, he knew this one for certain. "Yes, I do, because I don't want to be alone anymore." There was no other option. It never really bothered him before. Being alone. But then again he'd never had to be alone because someone didn't want him. It's not as if he could just hold Sora's hands and have him magically know. "You just can't understand because you have Riku." Roxas stood up, suddenly realizing how much he needed a cigarette. "And you haven't lost him."

Sora continued after him, both silent.

Roxas wasn't so brash as to look to replace Axel in every one of his future partners. But Tidus numbed the pain. Roxas truly liked the boy as a friend, but he didn't think he could see them turning into something any deeper. Axel, at least for now, would be the only one to have sparked something deep within him. Something no one else had ever made him feel. And god, did he hate him for it.

Outside, the blond stared up at the streetlight closest to them, burning cigarette in his hand by his side.

"Did he… cause all this pain?"

"Hi, Axel."
"Have we met? I don't remember introducing myself."
"I'm
not exactly staking my life on your recollection capacity."

"You're having naughty thoughts about me. You totally want this."

"And what makes you think that?"
"You just can't get enough of me."

"'Stealing my virginity'? I'm giving you my virginity! Take it! ENJOY!"

Roxas shut his eyes tight. What a mess. What an absolute fucking mess it all turned out to be!

"I think it'd be better for both of us if we just kept seeing each other, no strings attached." And what fucking strings?

Roxas lifted the cigarette to his lips. "I'm so … angry."

That someone could just so easily make you miserable and obsessed and fuck your shit up was so unbelievable, it was tragically comedic.

Before eighth grade, Riku and Sora used to be inseparable. They had grown up in neighbouring houses, went to the same grade school, sat beside each other on the bus, shared their lunches… But somewhere before the start of summer vacation bridging elementary and high school, Riku slowly began to pull away.

It was done under the guise of making time for tutoring, and under pretense of taking on some extra-curricular sports, and put into motion well-after he had told Sora. The reason for this had Riku bowing his head to the point his bangs grazed his knees.

Between Roxas' jabs at why Sora couldn't understand where he was coming from, Riku could hear how the blond held him in a very specific light.

To Roxas, Riku was this cool-guy mystery who could do no wrong. Because he was intelligent, attentive, well-spoken, and kind-hearted, Riku was everything Roxas wanted. But if Roxas liked Riku and Riku liked Sora, then Riku couldn't just stick around and not treat either of them differently. Wherever Sora was, Roxas was too, after all.

And not one for confrontation, Riku decided against speaking out about it directly and, as politely as a 13-year-old could, began to divert and ignore Roxas while reserving his excuses for Sora. (Excuses, not lies, because they did eventually come true…) And thus, he distanced himself from both of them for as long as he could stand living without Sora being at the same closeness-level of friendship.

Now, three years later, the consequences had seemingly finally caught up with him. All this time, he thought he'd been doing only what was absolutely necessary correctly so as to save Roxas the confrontation. It would just have been awkward, uncomfortable, and Roxas would've just had his feelings hurt. Now, however, it rang clear to Riku that he'd only set the blond up for disaster.

Riku loved Axel; definitely one of his best friends of all time. But he just knew he could have let Roxas down a little bit better than the redhead had. And then maybe, just maybe… Roxas would have been able to handle rejection this time around.

If his guilt was any indication, he realized he couldn't let himself resort to such passive-aggressive tactics again. No matter how uncomfortable he was at the idea that he could be responsible for someone else's feelings, Roxas was proof that he needed to re-evaluate his idea of honesty and treating people justly. Especially if, in the future, he was to be any sort of man worthy of Sora.

He would help make things right. He owed it to Roxas to try.

End of Monday