Chapter 6

"What?"

"We have a problem. We were watching the ponies, except..." Fíli trailed off.

Kíli picked up the sentence. "...we've run into a slight problem."

Fíli cleared his throat. "There were sixteen ponies. Now, there are only fourteen."

Something stomped through the brush, all three lads ducked for cover. Bilbo blinked and bit back a string of cuss words. "Trolls! It's got Minty and Myrtle!"

Fíli and Kíli cursed and looked at each other. "Quickly, you need to get the ponies free. If you need our help, hoot one like a wood owl, and twice like a barn owl."

Bilbo gaped and turned but found that no one was there. Growling slightly to himself and muttering Khuzdul, Bilbo slipped quietly into the camp. He moved to the ponies and tried to cut through the ropes with his dagger but the rope was far too thick, he kept sawing it through it determinedly.

Bilbo sighed as he worked and then he spied the troll's sword. With a grim frown, he inched forward to ease the sword out of the belt. Unfortunately, the troll noticed.

"Ere! Who er you?!"

Bilbo barely had time to gasp. "Ah, I'm a bur-Hobbit! Dwobbit!"

"A Burhobbitdwobbit?"

They began to discuss what they could do with him, Bilbo gasped slightly. "Please, no! I'm a much better cook than I am cooked. Let me cook for you instead!" He widened his eyes pleadingly.

The troll holding him sniffles. "Poor little blighter. Let's let em go, Bert."

Bert glowered at the tearful troll. "Not until I found out if there are any more of em. I don't fancy having me throat slit in my sleep." Bert glared at Bilbo. "Here! Are you alone?"

"No, YES!"

"Oi! What sort of answer is that's?"

"Well, no your throat won't get cut because yes, I am alone. All alone in the world. Because of my disease! It's fatal for all races."

William screeched and dropped Bilbo on his bum. "Get away!"

Bilbo scampered out of the way of stampeding trolls. Bilbo blinked owlishly in shock.

Then, he heard a shout from one of the Dwarves. Bilbo groaned. The Dwarves were moving to attack the trolls. Bilbo paused and watched as their weapons made hardly any damage against their skin. He frowned. This isn't working.

He frowned and then suddenly he was grabbed. "Enough! Drop your arms, or we'll ripped his off!"

Bilbo couldn't bring himself to look into his father's eyes as shame swept through him. They were all bundled up in bags and some tied to a spit. Bilbo bit his lip, desperately thinking of some way to get them out of this mess, and to somehow regain some respect from his father.

He frowned and then pitched his voice over to them. "Bert! He stole your grog!"

Bert glared at William. "What?! Give it back!" He whallopped William in the eye.

Bilbo shouted. "No, watch out, he's going to hit you with that log!"

Bert turned around and smacked Tom across the face with his spoon. Bilbo idly looked at the sky. It was pink. He looked around and then spied Gandalf sneaking about the edges of the camp.

Bert finally stopped the fight. "That little Burhobbitdwobbit is causing us to fight!"

"I say we eats him first!" Tom snarled.

Bilbo coughed. "Now wait one second, you can't just eat Burhobbitdwobbit raw. You need me to show you how to make fried Dwarf!"

Bert frowned thoughtfully. "And that's the best Dwarf dish?"

"Yes, but it has many steps to it. Well, you...skin them first."

"WHAT?!"

"I'LL REMEMBER THIS!"

Bilbo ignored the outraged cries.

"I says we roast em!" William snapped.

"Can't roast em, that'll take all night!" Bilbo knew that voice, Gandalf!

William glared at Bert. "Shut up, you lout!"

"I didn't say anything!"

"Yer a liar!"

Tom growled. "I says we boil em!"

"Can't boil em, don't got no water, dummy!" Bilbo chuckled at Gandalf spoke again.

Tom snarled at both of his companions. "Now stop it! Let's get a move in before the dawn takes us!"

"The dawn will take you all!" Gandalf leaped upon the boulder and cracked the rock so the sun could seem through. The trolls screamed in pain as they were turned to stone.

Bilbo was smiling in relief when Gandalf came up and untied him. Thorin gruffly pulled the sack off of him. "Why did you go?"

"To look ahead."

"What made you come back?"

Gandalf smiled. "Looking behind."

Thorin smirked, but then his smile faded when he saw Bilbo. He snorted. "It was your burglar who got us into that mess in the first place."

Gandalf bristled. "And it was my burglar who got you out of the mess as well. Or have you forgotten than none of you thought of playing for time?" The Wizard looked down at Thorin from under his bushy brows. Thorin scoffed and turned away.

"There must be a troll hoard somewhere nearby. Come on!" He ignored Bilbo.

Bilbo sighed. "Why does he hate me so much? What did I do to him?"

Gandalf frowned slightly and then slipped an arm around the Dwobbit. "He loved your mother, Bilbo. You are your mother's son. He does not like being reminded of his grief." Gandalf sighed and shook his head. "Thorin Oakenshield is a good Dwarf; however, he can lose his sense of direction in more than one way, Bilbo. Sometimes, he can lose his sense of direction in morality and common sense."

Bilbo partially understood what Gandalf was saying. "It's sad that he doesn't know where he's going." Bilbo sighed and bit his lip in anxiety. "What will he do when he finds out that the Thain, Lord Elrond, and you lied to him?"