So sorry for the long wait. It has been the worst few weeks for me personally. This chapter is not as long as the previous chapters - couldn't get the brain to work but I thought I should post it anyway. For my Dad, the greatest man I would ever know.
Chapter 9 - Heartbreak
Spike watched the scene unfold like a movie he didn't want to watch. Pacing; frantically waiting for the ambulance to arrive while chaos still rained all around. She had gone, the person who had carried out this act had disappeared into the crowd and he wasn't sure they would ever catch her. Finally, he could hear sirens. He looked on helplessly as they placed Sam in the ambulance. Greg's face an ashen grey as he climbed into the ambulance to be with his fallen officer. Spike stood rooted to the spot. He saw the pool of blood covering the pavement and bile leapt from his stomach to his throat. Swallowing hard he had managed to stem the vomit but not the tears. Spike dropped to his knees beside Sam's blood. This was their fault. His blood was on their hands.
He didn't know how long he had been there; unable to hazard a guess, time running on regardless - until he felt a hand on his arm gently lifting him up. It was Wordy's arms which embraced him. He had been here before, in this situation, watching his friend die in front of him, feeling his heart rip from his chest. Feeling the agonizing torment that maybe he could have prevented it from happening. If he had noticed her a second sooner, had he acted on his own gut instincts that something was not right. Had he just tried harder to dissuade Sam from taking such a dangerous risk. Had he just done something, Sam's blood may not been covering the pavement.
Wordy opened the passenger door and Spike got in. He knew where they were heading and tried to summon up the courage to face what he already knew - Sam was gone.
"Ed, I'm on route to the hospital with Spike, any luck finding her yet?"
"Still searching, but it looks like she's in the wind - we'll meet you at the hospital when we can. Any news on Sam?"
Wordy looked at Spike for confirmation and Spike shook his head.
"It's bad Ed, very bad but I'll let you know more when we get to the hospital; ETA ten minutes."
"Copy" Ed replied.
They found Greg, alone, sitting. His elbows resting on his knees, his hands clasped together and his head bowed. He looked like a man whose world had been ripped apart. Spike knew the Boss would shoulder the responsibility, but they were all to blame. Every one of them knew what Sam had been through, yet no one said anything - too preoccupied with catching the goddamn sniper. They should have tried harder to come up with a different plan; instead they let Sam throw himself to the wolves.
"Boss?"
Greg looked up from his thoughts. He didn't know anything. But they all feared the worst and tried to prepare for it if that was possible, but this day would affect them all in different ways.
"Boss, you need to go and change out of those clothes; Spike can you stay while I drive the Boss back to the barn?"
Spike nodded.
"Let me know if you hear anything."
Greg looked down at his blood soaked uniform; his breath hitched, not realizing how much of Sam's blood was on it. How could this of happened, how could he let this happen. He was their leader, their Sergeant. It was his job to protect his officers not put them in the firing line. He didn't want to leave, but he knew he couldn't stay.
Spike started to walk away "Where are you going Spike?"
"Someone has to tell Jules." Spike replied as he walked off down the corridor towards her room.
Wordy was grateful it wasn't going to be him. He did not think returning to Team One was going to be a cakewalk, but he sure as hell did not think he would be sitting at the hospital waiting to see if Sam was alive or dead.
Spike slowed his pace as he neared the room. He had no idea how he was going to tell her; he didn't even know what to tell her. Was Sam alive, was he dead, he didn't know himself?
Spike inhaled deeply, summoning up the courage from somewhere he knocked lightly on her door.
"Come in" Jules replied.
As Spike entered her room, his heart started to race. She was watching TV, the remote in her hand. He knew instantly it was a breaking news story, the red banner at the bottom of the screen with the headline 'Toronto Sniper Captured'.
Jules turned to see Spike walk through the door.
" Spike" Jules smiled "You caught the sniper?"
"Jules" Spike spoke softly as he walked to her bed. He needed to get the remote from her hand and turn the TV off before she heard what he wished he hadn't seen.
"Shh" Jules put her hand up to motion Spike to stop talking.
"The Toronto Sniper has been captured by the SRU today in what was believed to be a sting operation. However, it is understood the sniper may have been working with a female accomplice who came out of the crowd and shot an SRU officer. We have dramatic images of the actual shooting recorded by an eyewitness on his cell phone. Viewers are warned they may find the following scenes disturbing."
Spike's heart rate quickened - people and their damn cell phones - he couldn't let her see it, could not let her witness Sam being struck down; not like this, not without forewarning her.
"Jules" Spike spoke with a sternness he didn't mean, but he needed to get her attention. Jules turned to face Spike wondering why there was such anxiety in his voice.
"What?" As soon as she said the word, she already knew what. There was something Spike did not want her to see. She gripped the remote tightly in her hand, preventing Spike from retrieving it.
"Please Jules; turn the TV off, please."
Jules ignored Spike and even though panic was gripping her; she kept watching as the recording of a woman moving towards the square was played. She knew she should turn off the TV, knew Spike wouldn't have asked without good reason, but she had to continue watching. Something in her heart compelling her to keep watching.
"As you can see a woman comes into view. She is clearly holding something in her hand which we now believe to be a 9mm handgun. She then raises her hand and fires twice at the SRU officers walking across the square, fatally wounding him. She then proceeds to fire in the air, panicking the crowd. This woman is believed to be in her early thirties, approximately 5' 5" tall, with light brown shoulder length hair. This woman is still at large. If anyone has information on the identity of this woman or her whereabouts they are advised to call 911 immediately. Do not approach this woman if seen, she is armed and considered highly dangerous."
Jules jumped when the gun went off, her heart pounding so hard she was unable to catch her breath. The blonde hair, his stature, the way he walked; she knew it was Sam.
Spike heart almost stopped when he heard her scream. The anguish in her voice reverberated throughout his entire body. Her grip on the remote finally loosened and he gently took it from her and switched off the TV.
"Spike?" Her huge chocolate brown eyes searching Spike's, desperately seeking his reassurance that what she had just seen didn't happen. She didn't see any reassurance just deep and utter sadness and she knew it was true.
"They said fatally wounded Spike" Jules' voice breaking, unable to fully comprehend what she had just seen and heard.
"We don't know anything yet. He's here in the trauma centre, but Jules…"
"He's not dead" Jules' body started to shake uncontrollably. Her hand trembling so much she could barely pull the IV line out of the back of her hand. She hissed slightly as the needle slid out of her vein.
"What are you doing Jules?" Spike protested as the IV line dropped to the floor. Jules then gingerly swung her legs to the side of the bed. "I need to see him; he's not dead Spike, I would know… I would know" her voice barely a whisper.
Jules said the words. Had always thought she would know; that there would be some telepathic connection, that her heart would stop beating if Sam died. Yet, she didn't know he had been shot, that he had been lying in his own blood. She had been completely unaware of anything until the moment she saw his body drop to the ground on the TV. She had been expecting him to walk through the door with her burrito, instead he was here in this hospital, barely yards from her fighting for his life or worse and she didn't know.
"Jules, please get back into bed". Spike tried to reason with her.
"Spike, I need to see him."
Spike almost broke down when he heard the desperation in her voice, he sighed heavily and relented. He helped Jules out of the bed. As she rested her hand on the side table for support, Spike was to her left, holding her arm watching and waiting to catch her if she fell.
If she could just stand up straight she might be able to walk, but her body was adamantly refusing to comply. She tried unsuccessfully to walk a few steps. It was agony and she knew she would not be able to make the long walk down the corridor without help.
"Spike you need to find me a wheelchair".
"Jules, you shouldn't be out of bed - you're going to pull those stitches if you are not careful."
Jules looked at Spike as she had never looked at him before, her eyes glaring at his.
"Spike, either you get me a chair or watch me crawl." Nothing, not Spike, or the damn injury to her stomach was going to prevent her from getting to Sam. She had meant every word - she would crawl if she had to.
Spike knew better than most when Jules wanted to do something, there would be nothing he could say or do to stop her. He helped her sit back down on the edge of the bed.
"Don't move Jules, do not even try to stand until I get back."
He left and returned minutes later with a wheelchair. Jules tentatively tried to sit in the chair, easing her injured and aching body into the wheeled contraption. It was painful, but her heart hurt more than the bullet wound. She could stand the physical pain, but this ache in her heart was overwhelming her.
Jules felt useless and terrified. Terrified that the reporter had been right, that Sam was gone . She wanted to jump out of the chair and run through the double doors leading to the trauma centre. She wanted to see Sam, she needed to see him.
Instead she sat in the wheelchair, resting her head on her hand and tried to breathe through the fear that was enveloping her. She refused to cry, felt if she let the tears fall, they would never stop. Would fate be so cruel as to take Sam as well as their baby? How much more heartbreak could she take.
Spike hand rested on her shoulder. She was stronger than anyone he had ever known, but knew if Sam was dead it would crush her.
Suddenly, the double doors swung open and a nurse rushed through. She stopped when she noticed Jules sitting in the wheelchair.
She threw Spike a disapproving look and bent down to face Jules. Jules searched for Spike hand, needed to hold on to him to give her the strength to face what she was about to hear, knowing she couldn't face it alone.
"Julianna, you should not be out of bed. I was coming to let you know about Sam. I know you are worried sweetheart, but this will not do you any good at all. I will get a nurse to take you back to your room and set up a new IV."
"You have my husband in there" Jules sobbed, the tears finally falling; at last giving into the grief that was completely engulfing her.
"I need to know how he is; I need to see him -please. I'm not leaving until I know..."
The nurse sighed heavily. She didn't know how much she should tell her. How much information could she tell her fragile, injured patient? Should she tell her he was unable to breathe on his own, that he had lost so much blood, his heart had stopped? Should she tell her he was clinging to life by a mere thread and he would need all the fight he had in him to crawl his way back from his devastating injuries? She had suffered so much already, how could she tell her that in all probability, her husband would die today.
"He's hanging on Julianna; it's serious, but he is a fighter. I will get the doctor to come and speak to you as soon as he can, but then you have to promise me you will go straight back to bed." The nurse looked softly at Jules, noticing how small and vulnerable she appeared sitting in the wheelchair. She knew also that this petite young woman was stronger that most of the patients who had come through her hospital; and she would need every ounce of that strength to face what lay ahead of her.
Jules promised. She would have said anything, done anything if they would just let her see him.
The nurse disappeared through the double doors leaving Jules holding on to the small glimmer of hope she had given her. The reporter had been wrong; Sam was alive.
