"I just don't understand, why?" Cassandra asked, crossing her arms and glaring at her Inquisitor. She stood by the Iron Bull, watching the tavern slowly fill with soldiers and servants. Sili and Bull were trying their best not to bust up laughing at Cassandra.

"Why not? I don't want to talk about this hundreds of times, they all saw me being hauled in on his back, and rumors don't stay quiet. Most know that this..." Sili pointed to her head, "Had to do with a dragon and something before the conclave. Curiosity isn't bad, Cassandra."

"Your definitions are what worry me. I guess then this isn't so bad, at least you are willing to tell the tale." Cassandra sighed, "Hopefully not like Varric; over exaggerate, possible lie..."

"Now, Seeker. Don't get mad at me for any of that. You asked, I told." Varric laughed from a nearby table, "I have nothing to do with this story, so you know it will be good. Mostly because it's our Inquisitor's tale."

"Taking notes? I will compare when you write about it." Sili laughed, "Just don't over embellish."

"As always, I make no promises." Varric bowed his head, "We'll see what the story produces."

"Either way, this is good for morale, Boss. They can see you as you, not the Inquisitor or Herald, but a person." Iron Bull added, nodding his approval.

"I aim to please." Sili laughed, but her nerves were taking over, "How can I even start this?"

"Well, come here and sit near the bar with me." Varric motioned, "Two of your dwarven finest."

"Alright." Cabot mumbled, "This ought to be interesting anyway."

Sili smiled at the dwarf, he might have seemed surly, but it was just his way. Varric had explained to her not long after meeting Cabot for the first time that most surface dwarves were either bitter like Cabot, to uptight in the old ways, or like Scout Harding and himself, just lived life where they were, but Sili swore she saw Cabot smiling when he heard what was going to happen.

"So, Inquisitor... Who is this Aranien anyway?" Varric asked a little loudly.

"Besides the bane of any alienage? Aranien... was never happy about where he was. I know most tales now that the alienages were horrible, but to have someone act..." Sili thought about how to explain it, looking around at her audience, "Like a too proud Dalish living in the alienage, having a surface dwarf in Orzammar, or any noble stuck on a farm. Even when he was with us in the clan, he always acted like we were lower than him."

That earned her some laughs and cheers as many had experienced people in their own lives that were that way. It was bad enough to live a hard life, it was worse when someone thought themselves so better that they made life worse. Sili laughed, hoping she was getting a good start.

"Those are good, Miss Sili." Varric laughed, "But how had he come to be with your clan?"

"He left the alienage in Wycome, like he just left the city when he got up that morning and went out into the wilderness. There was myself and two other hunters out that evening and we saw him... trying to hunt a Wild Hart." Sili sighed at the memory, "With a rock."

Another laugh erupted as they all imagined someone with a rock chasing game. Even Varric was laughing hard and though she had a smile, Sili wasn't laughing, but that faded. She watched as the tavern slowly calmed down to allow her to continue, Varric tapping on her hand.

"The hart was rearing up and I was able to get a kill shot in, right in the chest. That is how he found our clan. Months later, he started to show his true self; arrogant, self-centered, always complaining..."

"What did he have to complain about?" Varric asked, taking a gulp of his ale, "A city elf that found a clan so fast?"

Sili sighed, taking a drink of her own ale, "Everything, just everything. He didn't understand why we did things, but he wouldn't listen to the elders either. So it was so hard to teach him anything, but everything was a competition, even love. I will let it be known, I never had an interest in any of the men. I was friends with many of them, but nothing beyond that."

"And why was that, Miss Sili?" Varric asked, giving her a look that was implying, "Not interested or not interested?"

"I wasn't interested, at least not at the time. A Duke of Wycome wanted the clan moved, he had been hospitable, but he had events going on. Didn't want a Dalish clan so close to cause a stir." Sili shrugged, "But it was about that time that most men wanted to start courting and so on. This is what led to my head and being at the Conclave."

The entire tavern was listening now and she swore the air got thicker. Not able to actually look at anyone, Sili opted to just look at her drink or the floor. No one urged her on, not even Varric which she believed that it was out of respect. Taking a deep breath...

"Three of my clan wanted me and were willing to prove it, Aranien being one. The other two... I don't think I would have minded... But I was so annoyed and angry that I wouldn't have been able to hunt. Keeper Istimaethorial let me runoff..."

Sili quietly told her tale, about the wolf and the child, how she didn't realize that she not only saved the boy, but allowed the human farmers relief as well. Apparently the wolf had gone mad and had been killing, not hunting. She explained that Aranien had pushed her down onto a stump. Claiming he had 'saved her' from the wolf and how he was upset at her not being grateful.

"So, what did you do, Miss Sili?" One of the soldiers asked, breaking her from her memory.

"After I realized that he had busted my head open, I lunged and killed the wolf that now had him by the calf. Then I swung at Aranien, cutting his arm and threatening to take him back to the alienage..." Sili stated, almost ashamed.

"You should have, an elder in the alienage would have tanned his hide!" A elven woman yelled, earning laughs all around the bar.

"What did you do?" Sera asked, a smile on her face, "Drag him back by his ear?"

Sili sighed, "He attacked me again." She heard the gasps and groans, "And I stabbed him."

A silence fell upon the tavern as what she said sunk in and even Varric was just staring at her in disbelief. Desilinaris Lavellan had no idea what anyone was thinking of her at that moment, but she knew that they had a right to know. She wasn't some graceful, forgiving, and understanding Herald...

"He attacked you, knowing you were hurt and you still managed to kill him, how?" Varric asked what the entire tavern was thinking.

"I let him tackle me and drove my daggers into his back." Sili replied quietly, "The wind was knocked out of me and I lost consciousness, but the others told me later what happened."

When Sili didn't go on, Varric nudged her, "And... What happened?"

Sili sat in silence, but tears were forming in the brims of her eyes, "I was sent to the conclave."

No one spoke a word, no one had ever seen their Inquisitor so broken down. The Breach had destroyed many lives, changed the world, and she had been in the center, strong as ever. Gentle or demanding as needed, but never cruel. She had to be fair, keep an open mind with who was around or what she did, but no one had ever seen this side of her.

Sili had kept this from everyone, crying only at night. If any patrol had heard, none had said anything of it. Their Inquisitor was lost and looked more like a scared child and part of her knew that this could be used against her, but she really could care less. If anything, it would make her soldiers that much stronger, respect everything that much more.

Looking up, she noticed not one angry, not one annoyed look. If it wasn't near blank like Sera or the Iron Bull, it was saddened like Varric or Cassandra. Most of the patrons had sympatric or even shocked expressions and she knew she owed them all something.

"I was told that after I pulled my daggers out and lost consciousness, Aranien went into a rampage. He was angry that the clan would do that to him, that we would sabotage him and deny him a life. He tried to come at me again and Revdur, one of my friends, defended me. Revdur kicked him hard enough that he probably broke a rib or two. Aranien ran off and bled out somewhere, but Revdur and I were... punished either way."

Sili had been looking into her mug, but shot up when she heard the angry gasps. Apparently, many did not like the idea. She took a glance at Sera who, not to her surprise, looked like she was fuming. Cassandra and Iron Bull had mixed emotions, while Varric was silent. Which meant he was just as furious as Sera.

"What was the punishment?" Sera asked through her gritted teeth and Sili heard murmuring from the other patrons in the tavern.

"We were sent to the Conclave, spying if nothing else. Seeing what was going on and how it may affect our clans." Sili admitted, "But a sister of the Chantry saw us and invited us as guests. I never got her name."

"Do... do you know if she survived, if Revdur...?" Cassandra asked hesitantly.

"Neither survived. I didn't say anything, but I saw their bodies the first time we went to seal the breach. Revdur was trying to protect the sister." Sili replied, trying hard for the memory not to surface, "That's how this all started, me getting into a fight."

"And that differs from now how, Boss?" The Iron Bull asked, causing the tavern to erupt in laughter again, "The only difference is that we like that. Thanks for the story, better than Varric's!"

"I would like to do this, ya know, a tavern visit before you head out, Inky." Sera said, having come down from the second floor, "This is way better, innit?"

"Yes, Sera… Get trashed before a long outing is just a way to rally the troops." Sili smiled.

"To the Inquisitor!" Maryden yelled, raising her mug.

"To the Inquisitor!" The tavern boomed with all patrons raising their own mugs and glasses.

"To the Inquisition, to closing the Breach, to us all." Sili replied, raising her own mug as the entire place took a drink at once.

As the tavern, led by Maryden, starting to sing, Sili just huffed a laugh before turning to face the bar and Cabot. The dwarf was nodding an approval, but his expression told her something different.

"Rest your head, Inquisitor. Looks like you overdid it." Cabot whispered, sliding her drink away, "Be right back."

Cabot walked from the bar and Sili took his suggestion, lying her head down on her crossed arms. She really didn't feel bad, but her headache hadn't gone away either and she knew she needed to get back to her private quarters and rest. Maybe the advisors were right and she needed to stay within Skyhold for a few days at least.

Sili hadn't realized she closed her eyes until she felt someone rubbing her back, calling her name quietly under all the singing. Slowly rising, she turned to where Varric was, but he facing her.

"Shit, Miss Sili. You okay?" Varric hissed.

"Inquisitor, Sili?" The voice belonged to Cullen, "Come on, you need to rest."

It took longer than Cullen liked for her to process what he had said and nod a reply, but he now understood why Varric was worried. He thanked the Maker that Cabot had come to him discreetly, letting him know that their Inquisitor needed some help. Though it wouldn't matter now at the state she was in. In the few minutes since her story ended, she was now pale and her eyes were growing dark.

Sili looked horrible and could only guess that she wasn't feeling any better. She turned around in her seat, now facing Cullen and the tavern and he knew something was wrong. Even Varric was trying to convince her that she needed to leave. Sili began to breath heavier as a, what Cullen would describe as frightened, glaze tinted her eyes.

With her shaking and sweating, the Commander knew that she had just overdone things. One thing he hoped she wouldn't do… causing his heart to start racing. He didn't care what anyone thought or said, but he wouldn't sacrifice her just to gain some imaginary ground, like the other two swore they, the Inquisition, needed.

"Something's wrong…" Sili was nearly crying as Cullen eased her away from her seat and out of the bar.

"You've pushed yourself too far." Cullen replied quietly, "We'll just get you back to your quarters so that you can rest."

Sili looked up to Cullen to reply, but as she did, his heart nearly stopped when her eyes rolled back and she fell. Cullen was able to react fast enough and save her from her slamming onto the ground. Without a word or another thought, the Commander scooped Sili into his arms and ran to the healers below.

Maker, preserve her…