There I Go, Pushing People Away Again.
I tweet and look over at the three of them talking. I turn on Black Veil Brides and search through my bag. I go to lift my phone but end up grabbing the imancipation papers. I have to go there tonight. I grab my phone and bite my lip and ring Mrs O'Driscoll.
She answers and I clear my throat.
"Nicola?" She asks and I nod. "Yeah, it's me." I say and breathe. "Are you still coming tonight." I half smile. "Yeah, of course, I um- I need to see him." I say and hear her cough. "Are you sure?" I look out at them and nod. "100%" I say and look at the papers. "Ok, i'll see you at 7pm." I nod. "See you then." I say and hang up. I open the door and they look up at me. I shake my head and walk off. I walk into the forest and keep going. I get to the old campsite and see two tents. I sit in one and laugh at myself. I hear footsteps and stay quiet. "I know you're in there." I hear Samuel say and she his shadow. He sits down and I half laugh. "You're going to get your jeans dirty." I say to him and hear him clear his throat. "Why are you trying to push us away?" He asks and I shrug. "We're all getting so close, and then all of a sudden it's going to be over." I say and he sighs. "We're not going to leave you." I laugh. "That's what happens on reality shows. You get close with people, and then within months you ignore each other and never talk again." I say and here him scuffle on the ground. He unzips the tent and looks at me. "Can I come in?" He asks and I shrug. "You've dug the hole, you might as well bury yourself in it." I say and he gets in beside me. He looks at me and I look down. He looks at his bracelet on my wrist. "If I was going to ignore you in a few weeks, would you have that on your wrist." He asks and I look at it. I go to take it off and he grabs my wrist. "Don't." He says and looks me in the eye.
"Stop pushing us away." I nod and he wraps an arm around me. "I've seen you laugh, i've seen you cry, i'm not going to just give up on you." He says and kisses my hair. I put my hand on his chest and laugh at myself. "I don't want to push you away." I whisper and he leans his head on mine. "Then why are you?" I shrug. "Because I don't want to depend on you guys either." He turns me around and looks at me.
"Maybe I want you to depend on me." He says and I half smile. He kisses my cheek and We crawl out. It's dark and I look at him- all I can see is his outline. He reaches out and touches my shoulder. He runs his hand down my arm and grabs my hand. We start walking and keep our fee hands in front of us to stop us from banging into any trees. I see a light and pull him towards it- my car. We see Lindsay and Damian and our mobiles start beeping. "53 Missed Calls: Lindsay." I say and nods. "57 Missed Calls: Damian." He says back and we get into the front seats. "What the hell?" Damian asks and we look at them. "We didn't have any reception." Samuel says and they nod.
I start the car and start driving to Mrs O'Driscoll's. "Where are we going?" Samuel asks and we pull up. "This is my dad's house." I say and they all look at me and I take the papers from my pocket. "And in about twenty minutes, i'm not going to be his daughter anymore."
