Hello! Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews to the last chapter! Thank you to the unnamed guest (I'm so glad you liked Glorfindel, and yes, I brought the hunters together – I'm so glad you appreciated it :D) and Hermione Granger (thank you so, so much!) as well as everyone else who enjoyed it!

I apologise for the slight wait – since I last updated I've travelled all the way to the other side of the world to Australia so I've been quite busy, not to mention a little jet-lagged! Then I was about to update it and we lost our wifi :O

The names of this chapter and the next are inspired by a single song from Sweeny Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street :D

Please do read, enjoy and review!

Chapter Ninety Four # Nothing's Going to Harm You… #

"Ah-la-na, mizimith, al-la-na-la-nie,

Nadnith, azluf en zulfin

Amad mamarrali diya dushtêl

Ah-la-na, makadmûn, ah-la-na-la-nie.

La, na, la, la, lie…"

The familiar lullaby reached down into the deepest depths of Fíli's mind and tugged him gently towards consciousness. As the words became clearer he could feel warm fingers stroking his hair and the tender pressure of a hand wrapped around his own.

The beautiful voice that sang to him was so tantalizingly familiar, but he just could not picture the face that matched it. As the singing continued, the second verse translated the haunting melody into the Common tongue.

"Ah-la-na, little jewel, al-la-na-la-nie,

Little child, sleep in bed

Amad loves her little son

Ah-la-na, treasured boy, ah-la-na-la-nie.

La, na, la, la, lie…"

Then Fíli remembered. Fíli remembered everything. Fear began to quicken his heartbeat and he struggled desperately to call out to the woman singing so sweetly to him. His first attempt at speech was barely an exhale, and his second was the softest whimper imaginable, but she heard, of course she heard, and the singing cut off.

"Fíli? Fíli, can you hear me?"

This time, Fíli was able to force a word out with his moan. "Ama…"

"Hello, dushtêl," Dís whispered, squeezing his hand and kissing his forehead. "Hello, Fíli."

"Ama…" he mumbled again, his fear increasing. "Amad… run…"

"No, no," she stroked his hair. "It's alright, Fíli, you're safe now. Nothing's going to harm you. We're all safe, we're all here. You're safe. You're safe…"

It took a while for the words to sink in, but when they did a million questions clouded his mind. He opened his eyes, but it took a few moments before his vision focused enough to allow him to see his mother.

She smiled down at him, but her eyes were red, like she had been crying. Fíli raised his hand, and it fluttered like a dying butterfly until it rested on his mother's arm. He had to tell her something, it was important, it was so important!

"Amad…" Fíli grasped his mother's wrist with what little strength he had. "Amad… I love you… I love you, Ama…"

Tears flooded Dís' blue eyes and she smiled. "I love you, too, Fíli. More than my own life."

"I… I thought… I thought I'd never see you again…" he whispered, feeling his own tears warm on his cheeks. "I thought… I thought I was dead, Ama."

"No, sweetheart," she shook her head, squeezing his hand. "You're not dead. You're not going to die, no one's going to let that happen. You're safe now, Fíli. You're safe."

Swallowing, Fíli closed his eyes. "Where are we?"

"In the Woodland Realm," Dís watched him carefully. "A small group of elves found you and Paladin but a few hundred yards from the gate two days ago."

"Oh…" Fíli's eyes flew open again and he looked around at the unfamiliar surroundings. "I don't… I don't remember… Is Paladin alright?"

"He's going to be fine. He woke up yesterday – you're both suffering from exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, but the elves are good healers, you're going to be fine. You're going to be fine." Dís promised, smiling wryly.

The young prince's heart began to return to a more normal rhythm as memories began to swim back to him. "Paladin… he… he carried me…"

Dís nodded. "For a couple of days, we think…"

"Days?" Fíli had not realised that it had been more than a few hours. His mind set about whirring with the implications of that.

His mother read the worry in his face. "He is fine, Fíli. He is doing very well."

"You… you said everyone's safe – Pippin, Gimli, Estel-"

"They are well," she interrupted with a smile. "They were tracked down by Prince Legolas, who had them safely here before we arrived. Glorfindel and the elven twins are also fine."

"Thank the Valar," Fíli breathed.

There was a soft knock at the door.

Dís squeezed Fíli's hand. "Come in."

Bilbo poked his head around the door, his face falling into an expression of relief and joy. "Fíli!"

"Hello, Bilbo," Fíli could not help but smile as the hobbit rushed over.

"Oh, thank goodness you're awake!" Bilbo said, taking Fíli's hand. The young prince smiled and shifted his grip so that his fingers were interlaced with the hobbit's. "We've been very worried – very worried indeed."

"I'm sorry," Fíli replied sincerely. "Where's Kíli?"

Bilbo glanced at Dís.

Fíli panicked. "What, what is it?"

"He's fine," Bilbo promised quickly. "I'm just… not entirely sure where he is."

"Again?" Dís whispered.

"What do you mean again?" Fíli looked between the two adults. "What's going on, what's wrong with Kíli?"

Bilbo pursed his lips and Dís seemed equally hesitant to respond.

"Tell me, please," Fíli begged. "Where is my brother?"

"He… he is not well, Fíli…" his mother murmured.

"Physically there is nothing wrong with him," Bilbo added. "But he did not respond well to everyone's disappearance."

"Like you were," murmured Dís. "But worse – he will not talk to anyone. Bilbo's tried, so have I, but…"

"He won't even talk to Esme. He's been avoiding us all – even the children. The elves have not seen him either, though they know that he has not left the kingdom."

Fíli pursed his lips to stop them from quivering and closed his eyes on the forming tears.

Oh, Kíli… what are you doing to yourself, nadadith? What are you doing? Where are you, Kíli…?

Where are you?


"Your brother has woken."

The four words had Kíli leaping to his feet in a heartbeat. "What?"

Tauriel smiled, inclining her head. "Fíli is awake, and sentient. There is no reason why he will not make a full recovery. I thought you would like to know."

An electric charge of relief crackled through Kíli's veins and his heart raced. He did not even want to know how she had found him. "Thank you."

She nodded once more. "The fastest way to reach him is to follow the road on your left. Take a right turn at the fork."

"Thank you," Kíli repeated, lingering only long enough to bow at the elf before taking off at a run.

Kíli ran so fast that he soon could not feel his legs beneath him.

He turned away from Fíli's bedside, the howl of pain deafening his mind escaping as a mere whimper. He could not stay there, not when Fíli was so… so… broken.

He flew right at the fork, his arms pumping fiercely at his side.

He wanted to be there, he wanted to be with his brother but Fíli was so skinny and pale and he did not look like he could possibly be alive and Kíli could not take it, he just could not bear it because it did not feel like he had his brother back – it felt like they now had a corpse to bury.

Now Kíli knew where he was, and as he raced down the final few feet he forced his own emotions back into the chest they had escaped from over the last week, but this time when he locked them away he made every effort to throw away the key.

As Kíli burst through the door, his mother and Bilbo looked up in surprise, and Fíli's eyes opened.

It was not a lie.

Fíli was alive.

Kíli's legs collapsed beneath him but did not care. He scrambled to his feet and ran around to throw his arms around his bed-bound brother – trying not to anger any of Fíli's many injuries.

"Fee!"

"Kíli!" his brother replied in a cracked, weak voice, his arms wrapping around Kíli. "Kíli, Kíli…"

"Oh, Fee," Kíli whispered, slowly standing up, though he kept a hold of his brother's hands. "Fíli…"

"Oh, Bilbo, don't we have to tend to that thing?"

"What thing?" Bilbo blinked.

Dís' eyes widened meaningfully. "You know – the thing."

"What thi- oh, yes, the thing, the very important thing! Yes, you two will have to excuse us we have a very important thing to attend to."

A twitch of what might have once been a smile pulled at the corner of Kíli's mouth.

"We'll be back later," Dís promised. "I love you both."

"I love you too," the two brothers murmured in unison.

As they left, Kíli could hear his parents bickering playfully.

"What on earth was that, Bilbo? I thought you were supposed to be good with subtlety!"

"I was distracted – and 'tending to a thing'? That's the worst cover story I've ever heard! Pippin could do better."

Sighing softly, Fíli turned his head to look at Kíli, and for the first time the younger brother saw the finger-shaped bruises around Fíli's neck.

"Oh Mahal, Fee, what did they do to you?"

To his horror, Fíli's eyes flooded with tears. "I… I…"

"I'm sorry," Kíli said immediately, reaching out to take his brother's hand. "I'm sorry, Fee, that was a stupid thing to ask. You don't have to answer that. You're safe now."

Fíli's lip quivered. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Kíli shook his head. "Don't worry about me, Fíli."

"They said… they said you'd been..."

"I've been better," Kíli said bluntly. "But I'm fine. Just a bit overwhelmed about the last week. I promise, Fee, you don't need to worry about me. I'm fine."

Fíli nodded slightly. "Alright…"

"How are you feeling?" Kíli squeezed Fíli's hand, forcing his own emotions further and further into the back of his mind.

"I…" Fíli swallowed.

"Honestly, Fee."

Fíli closed his eyes, and Kíli could see him shaking.

"Fíli, you don't have to hold anything back on my account," he said gently. "I'm here for you. Tell me the truth, Fee. Let me help you. Let me look after you the way you look after me. I'm here. I'm here…"

The tears began to leak out of Fíli's eyes and onto his cheeks. "You'd think me weak, brother…"

Kíli laughed humourlessly. "Weak? That is the stupidest thing you have ever said in your life. Being dragged through a living hell and being worse for the wear from it does not make you weak."

He ignored the hypocrisy of himself saying that.

"Do… do you promise?"

Kíli's heart imploded. "Fee… Fee, of course I promise… You're my brother, I… I... Fíli, I love you more than the whole world and I'd be dead before I'd have you afraid to tell me anything!"

Fíli swallowed, his eyes flickering down. "I… I don't know how I feel, Kíli… I feel like I should be in more pain than this…"

"The elves gave you some tonics while you were still asleep…" Kíli explained gently. "So it was bad?"

The nod Fíli gave made him look like a scared little boy. "I keep waiting for them to come back… To come back and finish it…"

"They won't," Kíli did not let his own voice break. "If any of the filthy bastards happen to survive and get past an army of elves, dwarves and hobbits, I still won't let them anywhere near you. I promise. You're going to be fine, Fee. I've got you."

A strangled hybrid of a sob and a laugh broke from Fíli's cracked lips. "You have no idea how much I prayed that I would be able to hear you say that again."

Kíli smiled. "I've got you, Fíli. You're going to be fine."

A small flicker of a smile passed over Fíli's face. Then it died. "They were so angry…"

Steeling himself, Kíli waited and let Fíli say what he needed to say.

"Paladin escaped and they…they were furious… they started pounding at my chest, scratching and biting and punching until I couldn't breathe and then they started putting out matches on my skin and, and…" Fíli's voice trembled. "They held a torch over my face and brought it closer and closer, but then the leader said that he needed me to be recognisable…"

Kíli swallowed, trying to make his voice calm. "Why?"

"They were… they were going to use me to get Thorin out of Erebor… then they were… they were going to rip my throat out with their teeth and make Thorin watch…" Fíli's voice was less than a whimper by the time he finished.

Kíli wanted to scream until he threw up at the image searing into his mind, but instead he pressed his forehead against his brother's, squeezed Fíli's hand and whispered. "That is never, ever going to happen. I promise you that."

Fíli's arms snaked around Kíli and he held on as if his life depended on it. They stayed like that until Fíli's breaths stopped hitching and his body stopped shaking. When that happened, Kíli ran his fingers through his brother's hair and sat up.

"I thought it would happen," Fíli said, his voice hollow. "I thought that was how I was going to die, and then they….they started to…"

"Fee, if you don't want to tell me-"

"I do," Fíli's voice broke. "I don't want to talk about it because it feels like I'm there and it's happening all over again, but I need to tell someone because I'm scared, Kíli, I'm so scared that if I don't it will eat me alive and I can't, I can't have this haunting me forever, I can't!"

"Alright," Kíli's heart was burning, but he forced away the part of him that thought that Fíli's words should apply to him, too. "Alright… when you can, talk to me. I'm here. I'm listening."

Fíli closed his eyes and spoke in a whisper. "My legs… they started on my legs… they started… Oh, Kíli… they tried to… they tried to eat my legs."

"What do you mean?" Kíli felt sick.

"They bit down and they tore at my legs," Fíli moaned, his fingers tightening around his brother's wrist. "They ripped my skin away like dogs tearing at a bone and…"

STOP! Kíli screamed in his mind. No more, no more, please don't tell me anymore!

"The leader told them to stop, in case… in case I died… before they got me to Erebor…" Fíli stared into Kíli's eyes. "But then… then he laughed… and put his hands around my neck and… however much I struggled… the world went dark, and then the next thing I knew I knew nothing and I couldn't remember my own name and I was so scared, but Paladin woke me and… he helped me remember… we tried to walk, we heard hooves, we thought the orcs were back, we hid… I couldn't walk, Kíli, I kept falling and Paladin picked me up and the next thing I knew Amad was singing to me…"

"It's over," Kíli whispered, his heart racing and his head spinning. "It's over now, you're safe…"

He had to get out of here. That could not have happened to Fíli, not that, because that was too much to deal with, he could not detach from that, not that, that was too much, too much…

Kíli stood up. It he could get away, be alone, he could push this to the back of his mind, be strong again –

"Kíli, no!" Fíli sobbed, reaching out for Kíli, who flinched away. "Please, please don't leave me! Please, Kíli I'm sorry, I'm sorry, don't leave me, please, please, please-"

"Stop!" Kíli cried, guilt and fear and pain and anger and fear and guilt and fear and pain searing through his body from head to toe. He was shaking now, trembling and sobbing and shaking and crying like a baby. He had to leave, to run before all of his emotions escaped and –

"I'm sorry," Fíli begged, stretching out his hand. "Please, please Kíli, don't leave me!"

"No," Kíli swallowed his fear and shook his head. "No, Fíli. No. You do have nothing to be sorry for."

"Please," the whisper was so broken it was a wonder it reached Kíli's ears. "Please, Kee…"

"I'm not going anywhere," Kíli replied shakily. "I won't leave you, Fíli. I won't leave, I promise."

Fíli whimpered in relief. "You promise?"

"I swear," Kíli stumbled back, falling onto the bed and crawling up until he could wrap his arms around his brother. "Fee, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Fíli, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"What for?" Fíli's mumble was muffled by Kíli's chest.

"I left," Kíli gasped, tightening his grip on his brother and buried his face in Fíli's hair. "I couldn't, I couldn't stand it, you looked so, you looked like you were dead and I was so sure I'd lost you and I just, I couldn't take it so I left, I left you, I'm sorry! Fee, I'm so, so, sorry!"

Fíli stiffened for a moment and Kíli was sure that he had pushed his brother away, but then Fíli's embrace strengthened.

"I love you, Kíli."

Kíli sobbed. "I love you too, Fíli. I love you so much, I'm so sorry!"

"Don't be," Fíli murmured. "I understand."

With a soft keen, Kíli shifted a little to try and make them both more comfortable. The movement shocked Fíli, who held on to his brother a little tighter.

"I'm not leaving," Kíli promise. "I swear to you, Fíli, I won't! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I won't leave you again. Not ever."

"Good!" Fíli mumbled.

The two brothers lay there, and for a while it looked like they would never let go. Though neither had any strength left for himself they gave strength to each other, and the deep wounds carved into their hearts and souls were began to heal a little.

It was not until the elven healer let himself in to assess Fíli's state and tend to his injuries that they detangled themselves, but even then Kíli remained sitting on the bed, his fingers entwined in his Fíli's. The latter shivered and flinched at the elf's gentle touch, and every time he did Kíli rubbed circles into his hand with his thumb.

Soon the elf had finished, and he told Fíli that the best thing he could do to ease his recovery would be to sleep, his eyes flickering to Kíli.

"I'm staying."

There was no question in Kíli's words, and the elf bowed.

"With your leave I will tell your companions that you will be in a state to receive more visitors tomorrow."

"That's fine," Fíli nodded, averting his eyes.

"Thank you," Kíli added.

The elf bowed once more and left the room. Fíli sighed and sank back against the pillows that had been recently propped up to allow him to sit. Kíli slipped his arm over Fíli's shoulder and drew him close, and Fíli's head dropped onto Kíli's shoulder.

After a long moment, he spoke. "Kee?"

"Yeah?"

"Does… does it look bad?"

"Look bad?" Kíli frowned.

Fíli spoke in a hollow stammer. "My… my… hair..."

"Hair?" Kíli frowned. "Fíli, you're worried about your-"

"They cut it!" Fíli cried, pulling away from Kíli to grasp at a lock of hair close to his face. To Kíli's horror, his older brother's eyes were filled with tears and his voice was just as distraught as when he had spoken about the torture he had gone through. "He took my hair in his knife and he just sawed it off and I… I…"

"Fíli, it's alright," Kíli put his hand on his brother's shoulder. "It's just hair, it'll grow back."

"No, you don't understand," Fíli brushed Kíli's hand off. "It's not just hair, it's… it's… I'm a disgrace, Kíli! I cannot be seen like this – you don't understand!"

"Then tell me, Fee," Kíli said. "I can't understand if you don't tell me."

Fíli took a deep breath. "In our culture, only the worst criminals, the lowest of the lowest of the low get their hair shorn off. The worst! There is no worse dishonour, no greater shame… and they did it to me…"

"Oh…" Kíli's heart broke just a little bit more. "Well, we can fix this, then."

"Fix it?" Fíli swallowed.

"'course," Kíli smiled gently, shifting around so that he was facing Fíli. "Right, now I may not've been braiding as long as you have, but I like to think I know a thing or two…"

Fíli was very, very still as Kíli gathered up the cut hair, letting it fall through his fingers and dividing it into three pieces. Carefully, so very carefully, Kíli sectioned off longer pieces of Fíli's hair and started to braid them into the shorter section, and very slowly it began to camouflage the unjustified cut. By the time he was done, both sides of Fíli's hair were almost symmetrical, and you could scarcely tell that it had been cut at all, save for a few flyaway hairs sticking out of the braid.

"There you go," Kíli murmured. "Look in the mirror."

Fíli frowned, his hand flying up to the side of his head as he pushed himself up to look in the mirror, and then tears began falling from his eyes and he started shaking.

"Oh, no, no, I'm sorry, Fee, I was just trying to-"

Kíli was cut off as his brother turned and fell into his arms, squeezing him so tightly that Fíli's arms trembled.

"Thank you, Kíli," he whispered. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Kíli laughed in relief. "I thought you hated it for a moment!"

"Hate it?" Fíli's eyes widened. "Kíli, Kíli you made me look normal! I didn't… I didn't even think of hiding it like that!"

Kíli exhaled in relief, and Fíli collapsed against his chest. He was breathing heavily, as if he had exhausted himself. Kíli put his arm around Fíli again, rubbing circles on his back until his brother regained his breath.

Eventually, Fíli spoke again. "Kíli, I… it was bad…"

Kíli swallowed. "I know…"

"I'm still scared," Fíli's voice was almost inaudible.

Kíli nodded slowly. "I know… I'm here, though. And one day, one day you'll be less scared. One day it won't feel like you have to look over your shoulder every few minutes, and you won't have to check in on everyone each time you blink."

For a long moment Fíli was quiet. "Have… have you got their yet?"

"Of course…" Kíli replied.

"Kíli, please…"

Kíli looked down at his brother and his lie died on his quivering lips. "I don't think I ever will, Fee."

"You've been hiding it. Your fear. Haven't you?"

Kíli did not reply.

Fíli swallowed, reaching up to stroke Kíli's hair. "Then how about we say we'll go there together?"

"I… I think I could do that… maybe…" Kíli said hoarsely.

"Good," Fíli smiled a bittersweet smile, his eyes closing as his head fell against Kíli's chest. "I'm so tired, Kíli…"

"Go to sleep," was the immediate reply. "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. Just get some sleep."

A soft sigh was Fíli's only response.

Kíli bowed his head over his brother's, and despite his best efforts he too was soon dragged down into sleep.

And then, for a while, they had peace.


Bróin held onto his uncle's hand as they left the elvish kingdom. Anticipation was burning through his whole body – they were close now, so close to the Lonely Mountain. He wanted to see it so badly, this place that his Adad and uncles had valued so much they were willing to risk their lives to reclaim it.

More than anything, though, Bróin wanted to see his Adad. And Uncle Bifur.

He had not seen them for more than a year, and he missed them more than he could say. Bofin could probably come up with some smart words to describe it, but Bróin was more of a dwarf of action. At least that was how he liked to put it – Orla said he was just a dunderhead.

In his heart, Bróin had been a little bit annoyed by the length of their stay in Mirkwood, but he could not bring himself to be really angry when they had got all of their friends back safely. He had not known Ned the Ranger, but it made him sad that he was dead, and he had been very frightened when Fíli and Paladin had been brought back unmoving and pale as corpses.

Now, though, after several days of rest, Fíli and Paladin were well enough to travel and they were on their way again, accompanied by Estel (who Bróin liked a lot) and his three elves (who Bróin did not like quite as much) Legolas had also joined them at Gimli's request – when he had asked the elf to accompany them Bróin was sure that Miss Dana's eyes were going to fall out of her head – and so had the Captain of Mirkwood's guard, Tauriel.

Even Bróin had to admit that Tauriel was an exciting addition to their group. When they had been waiting for Fíli and Paladin to get better she had done some duelling with Kíli and some of the others, and Bróin thought that she was really good. She was even really quite pretty – for an elf.

Luckily, there were about twenty Mirkwood Elves guarding the horrible traitors half a day's distance behind them – lucky for the traitors, that was. If they were not guarded Bróin would give them such a beating it would be a miracle if they reached Erebor alive.

"Oh, Bróin, look!" Merry gasped from Kíli's back. "There's the lake!"

Bróin squinted through the trees, and sure enough he could make out the tell-tale sparkle of sunlight on water. "I can see it!"

"Bet I'll beat you there!" Nelly sang, tearing away from Nori (which was the first time she had left his side in days – people thought Bróin did not notice these sorts of things, but he did) and sprinting down the path.

"No way!" Bróin crowed, tugging his hand out of Bofur's to chase after her.

He caught up with her in moments but Nelly was fast and strong and he could not quite overtake her. She glanced over and narrowed her eyes at him, tossing her hair as she sped up. Bróin had to duck beneath the flying curls, and he tripped right over. Tucking his head in, Bróin managed to turn his fall into a roll and leapt straight back onto his feet, closing what little lead Nelly had managed to gain.

They ran faster and faster and faster, until finally they broke out of the forest and into the sunlight, and the first thing that Bróin saw was the Lonely Mountain.

The sight of it took his breath away – it looked so powerful, so strong! Unfortunately, it also took his attention, so second thing he saw was ground rushing towards his face.

The next thing Bróin knew there were two tiny arms wrapped around his waist and his nose stopped a mere inch from the ground. He could not help but gasp in shock.

"Are you alright?" Nelly asked, pulling him back to his feet.

"Mm-hm," he nodded, grinning at her. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," she smiled, and then they turned their eyes back to the mountain. "It's so big…"

Bróin smirked at her. "Well it is a mountain…"

"Oh, really? I thought it was a hobbit hole."

"Poor you, it must be really hard to have such a tiny brain."

"You would know – only a real fool doesn't understand sarcasm."

Bróin paused. "What's sarcasm?"

It was Nelly's turn to smirk, and she patted him on the head. "Exactly."

"Hey!" Bróin shoved her shoulder, and then froze. He was not supposed to shove people, especially not girls, and especially-especially ones that were not technically his sisters.

However, Nelly did not give as good as she got. She gave better. With a devilish grin she shoved him back, swinging her foot around to take his legs out from underneath him. He grinned back and pounced, wrapping his arms around her legs and squeezing, toppling her over. She grabbed on to his arm and spun him around and they tumbled across the bank towards the trees on the other side.

Their little wrestling match came to an abrupt end when they rolled right into a huge, furry leg. They froze, glancing at each other before looking up at the huge, snarling face in front of them. Bróin was not going to admit it anytime soon, but it was not Nelly who squeaked in fear.

Instead, she tried to talk, her hand squeezing around Bróin's arm. "N-n-nice b-bear…"

Bróin heard his family and his friends screaming as the bear's gaping jaw swooped down towards them. He wrapped his hand around Nelly's and they screamed together, and next thing they knew they were flying up into the air. The bear was holding them by their clothes!

"Don't eat us!" Bróin yelled, kicking at the bear's head. "Put us down!"

"Yes, please don't eat us!" Nelly added, trying to worm out of the creature's grip as it carried them across towards their family.

The wolves began to howl and yap happily, and Bróin felt rather offended. Did they want them to be eaten?

And then the bear lowered them to the floor at his screaming mother's feet and walked backwards.

And then, in front of Bróin's eyes, the bear turned into a man. A very big, very naked man.

"Nelly…" he worried. "I think you might've hit me on the head..."

The bear-man let out a big booming laugh, and then Bilbo sighed in relief, putting a hand over his heart. "By the Valar, you scared us. It is good to see you, Beorn."

"You too, Master Baggins," Beorn said in a gravelly voice as the wolves leapt up around him excitedly. "I see that my wolves found you – though it is apparent they were not enough to protect you."

"They did try very hard though!" Nelly piped up, her voice uncharacteristically shy.

"I am sure that they did," replied the bear-man sincerely. "I am only sorry I did not join them. No matter – the bargeman is waiting. Come."

Bróin scrambled to his feet but before he could run after Beorn he was flying through the air and up onto his uncle's waist.

"Uncle Bofur!"

"You are a very lucky boy," Bofur narrowed his eyes at him. "If that wasn't Beorn…"

"I had it under control!" he scoffed. "I woulda hit it on the nose, and then Nelly would go for the jugular!"

"Yeah!" Nelly grinned, slipping her hand into Nori's. "We could've taken him!"

"Maybe one day we will wrestle and find out, little bunny." Beorn called without turning around.

Bróin grinned, and Bofur rolled his eyes and covered the dwarfling's face with his hat.

Then another hand pulled it up and he smiled sheepishly. "Hello, Ama."

"Are you alright, Bróin?" Marta ran her hand through his hair, pushing it back from his face.

He nodded. "Of course!"

When Marta was convinced of this, she slapped his shoulder gently. "What have I told you about wrestling?"

"That I can wrestle with people that'll happily wrestle back, and Nelly does!"

"On the road, Bróin."

"Ah…" he bit his lip. "Um… um… that I should stay on the road when I wrestle?"

"No," she said firmly. "You are not to wrestle while we are travelling – in fact I think it would be best if you kept your hands to yourself until we reach Erebor."

"Oh, Amad!" he moaned.

"Don't you 'oh Amad' me!" she retorted. "No wrestling until we are inside the Lonely Mountain – do you understand me?"

"Yes Amad," he grumbled.

His mother smiled. "Good boy, Bróin."

He just huffed, and she kissed his forehead.

Bilbo watched the interaction and sighed. He would give anything to have Kíli look at him like that – the look of a disgruntled son – but no, Bilbo only received looks of forged content. Kíli no longer opened up to him, Kíli no longer talked to him.

And Bilbo was terrified that he knew why.

Kíli had made his choice. His choice to be a Prince of Durin. And it was a choice that no longer involved Bilbo.

The hobbit could do nothing but watch his son drift further and further away, and he could not even call him back because he knew that Kíli was not really his to call.

At least he was talking to people now. Since Fíli had woken Kíli had been all but glued to his brother's side, and he was once again interacting with those around them. Fíli seemed to be doing well now, to Bilbo's utter relief, as was Paladin. They were both worryingly thin and still looked rather ill, but they kept up well enough with the slow, steady pace of the company and they both offered small but genuine smiles on occasion.

When they reached the waiting barge and its familiar captain Bilbo greeted Bain with a smile and what light conversation he could muster, quietly impressed by the difference in the lad's clothes. The boy was a prince now, a prince of New Dale and it showed. Gone were the worn out hand-me-downs Bilbo had seen Bard's children wearing before, and in their place was a well-crafted, expensive looking outfit. That said, it was far more modest than it could be and that lifted Bilbo's heart – Bard and his children had clearly not lost sight of their roots and values.

With every yard they drew closer to the mountain Bilbo's heart sank a little further. He was sure that it was probably somewhere at the bottom of the lake now. He forced himself not to let it show, going about his business as normal and walking around with a smile on his face, but by the time they reached Lake-town the hobbit was desperate, desperate to be alone.

The chance came sooner than he had expected. The new Master of Lake-town – a woman, no less, by the name of Hilde – personally led them to the same house that the company of Thorin Oakenshield had boarded in almost exactly a year ago so that they could rest for the night.

Bilbo's room was now to be shared with Frodo and Sam, and though he did not mind that in the slightest he was relieved when they skipped downstairs to play with the others. The hobbit quietly slid the bolt across the door and sat on the bed, trying to calm his breathing.

It was no use. All of the fear and agony that had built over the past few weeks began to burst out of Bilbo and he cried like a child, praying that Kíli's theory was right, that sometimes you had to cry to let the bad feelings drain away.

That thought made him cry all the more, because Kíli had told him that two decades ago – back when he was still Kíli's father.

It could have been anything from seconds to hours later that he heard the knock on the door, and Bilbo cleared his throat quickly.

"Just a minute!" he called, cursing his tear-choked voice. He wiped at his cheeks, blew his nose and shook his head, glancing in the mirror to make sure that it was not too obvious he had been crying. His eyes were red and a little puffy, but that could be from fatigue. As satisfied as he could be, Bilbo pulled open the door and stopped in surprise. "Kíli!"

"Can I come in?" his dwarf mumbled, studying Bilbo's eyes intently from beneath his own dark eyelashes.

"Of course, you don't have to ask," Bilbo ushered his son in, and Kíli closed the door behind him.

"Are you alright?" the young dwarf said. "You've been crying."

So much for hiding his tears. "Oh, I'm fine, just fine. It's… it's been a long fortnight, that's all."

Kíli nodded slowly, his own eyes filling with tears. After a long moment of staring at the floor he looked at the hobbit and spoke in a broken whisper. "Bilbo, I'm so sorry!"

"Sorry?" Bilbo gaped. "Whatever for? Kíli, what's wrong?"

The dwarf began to tremble and Bilbo led him over to sit down on the bed.

"Kíli, tell me what's wrong."

"I've been lying to you," Kíli moaned, dropping his head into his hands. "For… for months, months and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

"Alright…" Bilbo said slowly. "What have you lied about?"

Kíli wailed softly, and when Bilbo tried to put his arm around the young dwarf he slipped away and turned his tortured eyes back to the hobbit. "I… I… I can't!"

"You can't what?" Bilbo put his hand on Kíli's arm. "You can tell me anything, Kíli, anything."

"I…. I… I-I'm n-not fine!" Kíli choked, sobs mangling his words. "I'm not… I'm not coping, I'm not… Since….since the b-battle and Beorn's, I… I can't… I don't know how, I don't know how to deal with these things, with torture and kidnapping and fires and… I don't know how and I've been locking it all up inside my head because I thought if I could hide it the pain would go away but it hasn't, it hasn't gone and I'm not alright, I'm not, and I don't know what to do but I couldn't tell you, I couldn't!"

"Oh, Kíli…" Bilbo felt his own tears returning as he took his son's hand. "Why not?"

"Because I didn't want you to hurt!" Kíli howled brokenly. "I didn't, I didn't want you to be hurting too! If I told you, if I told you this was happening you'd be in pain and I wanted you to be alright, I didn't want to hurt you! I couldn't, I couldn't hurt you, and I… I… I'm so scared! You're my Papa, Bilbo, my Adad, and I don't… I don't want you to hurt like this. I don't want… But it hurts, Bilbo, it hurts so much, and I can't… I can't… I can't do it anymore!"

"Mahal, Kíli…" Bilbo ignored his own tears to wipe Kíli's away. "You shouldn't have carried all that on your own… My brave little Kíli… Did you at least tell your brother?"

Kíli shook his head. "N-not until Mirkwood!"

"Alright," Bilbo took a deep breath and tried to make his voice calm. "Alright… It's alright…"

"It's not," choked Kíli. "It's not, I-"

"I knew."

Kíli's eyes widened. "What?"

"I knew," Bilbo admitted. "I knew you were not coping. I knew the whole time, but you wouldn't talk to me and I did not know what else to do… I thought…"

"What?" Kíli mumbled when the hobbit trailed off. "What did you think?"

"Nothing," Bilbo said firmly.

"Bilbo-"

"It's nothing, Kíli."

"Bilbo, please!"

"Really, Kíli, it's nothing… I just assumed you were growing up… that you did not need me anymore."

Kíli went paler than a ghost. "What?"

"I told you," Bilbo murmured. "It's nothing."

"Is that… is that why you were crying?" Kíli cried, leaping to his feet. "It is, isn't it? I can see it in your eyes, oh Mahal, oh Mahal no, what have I done, what have I done?"

Bilbo stood up. "Nothing Kíli, you've done nothing wrong-"

"You thought I… you thought…" Kíli's fingers were digging into his palms with so much pressure that they trembled. "Oh Mahal... I've ruined everything!"

Kíli fell against the wall and slipped down to the floor and Bilbo was at his side in moments. The hobbit sat beside the dwarf and drew Kíli close, pressing a kiss onto his son's head.

"Listen to me, Kíli Baggins, and listen well. You are my son, and I love you, and nothing – nothing – you do will ever change that. You're quite right, it does hurt me that you're hurting, but what hurts the most is that you did not tell me. However, you've told me now. We'll work this out. We'll survive. You don't have to do anything on your own. I'm here. You haven't ruined anything, and you're going to be alright. I promise."

Nodding shakily, Kíli pushed his face into Bilbo's chest and clung to the hobbit the way he would when he was a child. Bilbo wrapped his arms around Kíli and rocked him gently.

"I love you, Kíli. I love you."

"I love you too! I really, really do!" Kíli promised.

"I know."

Kíli looked up. "Do you, though?"

"I do," Bilbo smiled, because he did now – and he loathed himself for ever thinking otherwise. "I do."

Kíli shuddered and Bilbo rested his chin on the dwarf's head. "We're going to be alright."

When they had both calmed down a little, Bilbo distracted Kíli a little.

"You know, Thorin has no idea we're coming."

"What?" Kíli sniffed.

"Well, Dís realised that the elves' last message implied we would not be returning, so when they sent word that everyone survived she implicitly told them not to tell there were any hobbits here at all. She said she wanted to see the look on Thorin's face when we arrive."

For the first time in days, Kíli laughed.

A few hours later Fíli came by looking for his brother, but upon seeing him in Bilbo's arms the dwarf immediately sat on Bilbo's other side, leaning on the hobbit's shoulder and holding onto his brother's hand. Frodo was up shortly after that, and he nestled in between Bilbo's legs without a word. When Sam came up he hesitated for a moment, before snuggling down in Kíli's lap.

When Dís came looking for her sons several hours after that she found the five of them fast asleep and she shook her head. They were going to get back ache sleeping like that…

A few minutes later Dís glanced over her shoulder and smiled at her handiwork. Her sons, Bilbo and the two little hobbits were all nestled together on the huge bed.

Dís silently wished them goodnight, and then went to sleep in a room that allowed her to gaze out of the window for the first time in centuries at her long lost home.

Phew! That was not the easiest chapter to write!

Kíli and Bilbo have FINALLY had their heart to heart and I hope you enjoyed it – it was probably the most difficult thing I've had to write so far!

However, in the next chapter (which should be soon) THEY'LL REACH THE LONELY MOUNTAIN! EEEK, IT'S SO EXCITING!

Poor old Thorin. He has no idea what's coming.

Please do let me know what you think, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Thank you for reading!

PS: In case you want to know how old Bombur and Marta's kids would be relatively -

Bofin – around 7

Bróin – around 6-7

Orla and Ola – around 4-5

Bodin – about 2 and a half.

Bofin is the tallest and oldest of all the kids, including the hobbit kids, but they're all a similar equivalent age because of this stories slow (and incredibly messed up) ageing rates :D

Thanks for reading!