After talking with everyone about Halamshiral at Skyhold, Sili found herself on the battlements, staring out at the mountains. She was trying to clear her head before figuring out the next mission, Adamant. There was so much wrong with this that she wasn't sure if she could deal with what awaited them.

Intel coming from Adamant Fortress suggested that only the Warden Mages were enslaved by Corypheus and Erimond's tricks. Which meant that there could be two-thirds of the Wardens inside that were trapped. Confused and forced to obey orders that they knew were wrong, like Stroud, but at least he had been able to escape.

Sili was so deep in thought that she didn't hear the heavy armor steps of Cullen. He lightly touched her shoulder, but Sili still jumped and drew her dagger. Cullen ignored it and kissed her gently on the head.

"The Commander of the Inquisition and the Herald of Andraste. That will have people talking." Sili said, putting her dagger away and smiling at him.

Cullen sighed, "You wouldn't believe how quickly gossip spreads through the barracks."

Sili caught the irritation in his voice, "Does... does it bother you?"

"I would rather my, our, private affairs remain that way." Cullen replied with a small smile, "But if there were nothing here for people to talk about, I would regret it more."

Sili's mind wandered a moment before a smile crossed her face, "The day you kissed me, in my quarters, how long had you wanted to do that?"

"Longer than I should admit. " He laughed, turning his head and blushing.

"I'm Dalish, that never bothered you?"

"I hadn't considered... elves weren't treated differently in the Circles I served, I didn't think what it might mean to you..." Cullen said, looking out onto the mountainside, "I hope that doesn't, I mean, does it... bother you?"

Sili shook her head and began walking towards his office, "No. If you care for me, that's all that matters. I wasn't trying to put you on the spot."

Cullen laughed oddly, rubbing the back of his neck as he fell in step with her, "I'm not very good at this, am I? If I seem unsure, it's because it's been a long time since I've wanted anyone in my life. I wasn't expecting to find that here. Or you." He shrugged, opening the door to his office.

Sili smiled up at him, "I am going to get something to eat. I will return and then we can discuss Adamant."

"The sooner we are done with that, the better I will feel." Cullen admitted, kissing her head once more before letting her leave through another door.

Sili walked from Cullen's office to the rotunda where Solas liked to hide out. She couldn't see him right away and tried to stay quiet as she walked through, but Solas growling caught her off guard. He was standing off the far side of the room, away from all the doors, and staring at one of his frescos.

He turned to see her and, to Sili's surprise, looked almost more upset, "My friend. You cannot allow this, with the Grey Wardens, it's maddening!"

"What are you going on about?"

"It's one of the few things I can honestly say I agree with Vivienne about. I do not believe or like the idea that the Grey Wardens think that they are the only ones to stop the Blight. Their rituals and ways are just that... Maddening." Solas fumed, walking around the room.

Sili thought her words carefully as Solas had held grudges against her before. Though this issue, she was tired of the fighting, "Well then, since you and Vivienne seemed to know about everything in this world; her the 'mortal' and you the 'fade', find a solution." Crossing her arms.

She wasn't backing down on her stance with the Wardens. Some of their practices were odd, but in this world, she had witness more barbaric acts. Vivienne looked down on everyone and those that she saw as irrelevant, like the Wardens, she held nothing back. The way that woman carried about, that was truly maddening.

Solas had stopped slowly and stared at her in surprise. If she wasn't so infuriated, she would be happy that she got another emotion out of the stoic elf. As it was, it only added to her anger as part of her wondered why he would be surprised. She on the other hand, had kept herself from showing anything to him and waited for his response.

"Inquisitor... Miss Sili..." Solas thought a moment for the right words, "It's not that I don't see the significant of their Order, but I see all empty sacrifices as such, empty."

"Legion of the Dead?" Sili countered, "They are almost the same thing."

Solas rubbed his nose, "It's the same, yet different. They aren't trying to stop a Blight. They are throwing their lives away to gain honor... it's unnerving."

"Seems most races are unnerving to you." Sili replied quietly, "But this is the way it's been. There has to be something bigger than a hole in the sky for anyone to truly change."

"That is... a completely sad reality." Solas agreed, "Forgive me. I did not mean to vent anything upon you. It's just, we need to stop whatever is going on at Adamant."

"That is something we both can agree on." Sili nodded, taking her leave.

Sili made her way quietly to her room where a food tray lay nicely on her desk... next to a pile of papers. No doubt left there by Josephine, but she made her way over to the desk and began to eat and sort through the stack. Most of the time, Josephine dealt with any mundane requests or political inquires.

Luckily, it only took fifteen minutes to go through everything. Though one stood out amongst all of them, a letter from her clan. They had been in a struggle with Wycome and Sili had Cullen send some reinforcements. She read the report that had come from Cullen's office, stating that her clan and the Inquisition soldiers fought side-by-side and were victorious. Which meant they now had another problem, which Josephine had sent a note for that. Sili decided that after dinner, she would gather the advisors.

Once she had everything done, she stood and stretched before walking onto her balcony. The mid-day sun warmed her and it felt oddly comforting as she watched the sunbeams dance on the snow. She allowed her mind to relax and think of better days and times, but a certain Commander kept creeping into her thoughts.

Sili smiled at this, but decided to go back to talk to Cullen about what he thought about Adamant before the meeting. He knew more about the Wardens and Templars than anyone else, save for Leliana, but she also knew that they butted heads with often. Making her way to his office, she was surprised to find him absent and one of his top agents waiting.

"Cullen is talking with Cassandra at the forge." He stated simply.

Sili thought it was odd, but just thanked the agent and made her way down. Even before she opened the door, she could hear them almost arguing.

"If I'm unable to fulfill what vows I kept, then nothing good has come of this. Would you rather save face than admit..." Cullen stopped at seeing Sili and nearly fled from the forge, "Forgive me."

Sili watching him leave before looking to Cassandra.

Cassandra huffed in annoyance, "And people say I'm stubborn, this is ridiculous. Cullen told you that he's no longer taking lyrium?"

"Yes, but that you two had an agreement, which I thought was fine. I think it's brave." Sili replied, worry creeping into her eyes.

"As do I. Not that he's willing to listen." Cassandra sighed, "Cullen has asked that I recommend a replacement for him. I refused, it's not necessary. Besides, it would destroy him. He's come so far." She added, worry evident in her voice.

"Is there anything we can do to change his mind?" Sili asked.

"If anyone could, it's you." Cassandra stated, but Sili wasn't so sure, "Mages have made their suffering known, but templars never have. They are bound to the Order, mind and soul, with someone always holding their lyrium leash." She explained, voice growing harsher.

"Cullen has a chance to break that leash, to prove himself... and anyone who would follow suit, that it's possible. He can do this, I knew that when we met in Kirkwall. Talk to him, decide if now is the time."

Sili nodded and left, now is the time for what though? To keep him off lyrium or let him take it again? Her mind reeled about this as she didn't want to push Cullen at all! She wanted him to feel comfortable and confident with his decisions, but she would at least make her feeling known. Then he wouldn't feel it was an order... she hoped.

Sili approached Cullen's door and pressed her ear into it. She could hear him walking around and even grunting. Taking several deep breaths, Sili finally opened the door only to have something slam into the door, just inches from her face.

"Maker's breath! I didn't hear you enter." Cullen gasped, leaning on his desk, "I... Forgive me."

Sili kept her fear and surprise under a layer of concern, "Cullen, if you need to talk."

"You don't have to..." He tried to walk around the desk only to groan in pain and hunch over, "I never meant for this to interfere."

"Are you going to be alright?" Sili asked, walking to help Cullen, but he had quickly distanced himself from her.

"Yes... I don't know." He sighed in defeat, walking to a window, "You once asked what happened to Ferelden's Circle. It was taken over by abominations." Cullen stated and Sili could hear a hint of anger as well as despair.

"The templars, my friends, were slaughtered... I was tortured. They tried to break my mind, and I... how can you be the same person after that?" The last part was almost a whisper. Sili just stood quietly and allowed him to speak his mind.

"Still, I wanted to serve. They sent me to Kirkwall. I trusted my knight commander, and for what? Her fear of mages ended in madness. Kirkwall's Circle fell. Innocent people died in the streets. Can't you see why I want nothing to do with that life?" He finally asked, turning to her.

Sili could see his side, "Of course I can. I..." She tried to get closer to him, but he threw his arm in the air to stop her.

"Don't! You should be questioning what I've done. I thought this would be better... that I would regain some control over my life. But these thoughts won't leave me..." Cullen began to pace between his desk and book shelf, not three feet from her, "How many lives depend on our success? I swore myself to this cause... I will not give less to the Inquisition than I did the Chantry! I should be taking it! I should be taking it!"

Sili's mind panicked, the one thing she didn't want was for him to think this was all about... orders, "This doesn't have to be about the Inquisition." She stated simply, "Is this what you want?"

Cullen sighed heavily, leaning against the desk, "No. But, these memories have always haunted me... if they become worse, if I cannot endure this..." He was pleading with her and Sili's heart broke for him.

Sili walked over to him and hugged him, cradling his head on her shoulder, "You can."

"Alright." He replied, wrapping his arms around her waist, "I think I can try, but..."

"No, no buts, Cullen." Sili silenced him, "Do you wish to discuss anything or shall we take a walk?"

Cullen shook his head, but raised his head from her shoulder, "Let's walk."

The two of them made their way from Cullen's quarters out onto the battlements and towards the tavern. They stayed quiet until they passed the tavern, making their way up the stairs when Cullen stopped her.

"I wanted to thank you... when you came to see me... if there's anything." Cullen sighed, turning away from Sili, rubbing the back of his neck, "This sounded a lot better in my head."

Sili just smiled, "I trust you're feeling better? Is it always that bad?"

Cullen returned the smile, "Yes, but the pain come and goes. Sometimes I feel as if I'm back there... I should not have pushed myself so far that day."

Sili rubbed Cullen's arm, "I'm just glad you're all right."

"I am." Cullen put his hand over her's as he looked out onto the mountains, "I've never told anyone what truly happened to me at Ferelden's Circle. I was... not myself after that. I was angry. For years, that anger blinded me. I'm not proud of the man that made me. The way I saw mages... the thought sickens me. Now I can put some distance between myself and everything that happened. It's a start."

"For what it's worth, I like who you are now." Sili replied.

Cullen quickly turned to look into her eyes, "Even after..."

"Cullen, I care about you. You've done nothing to change that." She stated, laughter in her voice.

"What about you? You have, had troubles of your own. How are you holding up?" Cullen asked, but saw Sili's face fall and almost darken.

"I'm afraid I'll fail... With me passing out numerous times, the darkness tinting my past..." Sili sighed, walking away from Cullen a few steps, "I just want this over with."

Cullen wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and kissed her neck gently, "Then let us meet with the others and discuss Adamant."