A/N – It's been a while … but you guys are itching to see what happens next, so without out further ado, here you go! Oh, and the song lyrics are a hint at what's ahead in the chapter. See ya at the bottom.

Chapter song: Alkaline Trio's "Kiss You to Death Tonight"


Chapter 20

Dropping by in just a while, and I don't care if we fuck or if we talk or if we cry. I just miss you.
I want to kiss you to death tonight.

"The boys are breakin' out today," Bobby casually said over his cup of coffee, which was most likely spiked with whiskey.

Bella didn't even bother turning around to face him. She took a sponge to a plate that was already spotless and continued to scrub aggressively. "That's nice."

The kitchen was silent save for the jingling of Mary's bracelet as Bella continued to move her hand along the surface of the plate.

"You should be there." Bobby's voice was firm, his no shit attitude bubbling under the surface.

Tossing the sponge in the dish water with a splash, Bella spun around. She narrowed her eyes on Bobby and the glare was enough to freeze his coffee. "Why? To have the most awkward conversation with you and Sam in the backseat? No thanks, I'll wait."

Bobby stood up from the table and walked over to her, rubbing a hand through his beard and shaking his head. "I've been watchin' those letters eat you up inside since you found 'em. I know you're dying to give him a piece of your mind, and I think you should … that's why I'm takin' the truck and you're gonna drive the Impala."

The left corner of Bella's mouth twisted into a smirk. Raising an eyebrow, she said, "You're a crazy old man, you know that?"

Taking her in his arms, Bobby crushed Bella to his chest and kissed the top of her head. It wasn't the affection Bobby gave her that made Bella uncomfortable, it was his words. "Love ya, kid."

She awkwardly shrugged out from under his embrace and forced a smile. "You too."

~o~

Bobby pulled his rusted, beat-up Chevy Power Wagon into the impound yard. Baby stood out like a majestic black jewel in an ocean of inferior horsepower. Bella didn't even wait for Bobby to cut the engine; she was out of the passenger seat and sprinting to the car. She couldn't hide her excitement at the prospect of driving the Impala. Dean would never allow it unless it was absolutely necessary, and since he didn't consider a dislocated shoulder from when they were up against that Wendigo a necessity, Bella wasn't sure the time would ever come. But here she was, standing in front of the beautiful piece of machinery, and it felt like Christmas. Her fingers twitched with the anticipation of gripping the wheel. She reached out her left hand and delicately traced the hood until she walked around and stood at the driver's side. Bella opened the door and made herself comfortable. Flipping down the visor, a set of keys fell to her lap. The minute she turned the key in the ignition, the power of the engine rattled her body and she grinned like a fool.

Bobby came over to the driver's side and leaned into the widow she had already opened. "Don't get too used to being behind the wheel. You know you'll be back to shotgun the minute he sees you pull up."

"Well, I better enjoy it while I can." And with that, she punched the gas and left Bobby in her dust.

~o~

The headlights of Bobby's truck slowly creeping down the side road alerted Sam and Dean to his arrival. They'd just finished burning Glockner's bones.

"Bobby's here," Dean said with a nod as he hefted his bag over his shoulder.

Sam and Dean navigated their way through the darkened graveyard when the familiar sound of a 275 horsepower engine screamed through the night air. Dean froze in place, his eyes slightly bulging from his head. Sam tried to hide his smirk.

"That better not—"

Dean didn't even have time to finish his thought before Bella tore down the narrow path between headstones. The car lurched as it came to an abrupt stop.

Bella leaned out the driver's side window and smiled widely. "Hey, guys."

Gritting his teeth, Dean stalked over to the car. "Out." It was more of a grunt than a word, but his tense jaw probably made it hard to speak in full sentences.

Bobby parked his truck in the front of the cemetery entrance. There was no way that gargantuan hunk of metal would fit through the paths like the Impala had. When he final got to them, he chuckled at the scene unfolding before him. This could go one of two ways: Dean could fess up and they'd make-up in the backseat, or Dean would deny the whole thing. Rubbing the back of his neck, Bobby prayed the boy wasn't that stupid.

Dean was waiting for Bella to get out, but she refused to move. He yanked open the door, ready to pull her out himself.

"You lay a hand on me, you better be prepared to have your ass kicked," Bella said, batting her eyelashes and giving him a fake smile.

"Come on, Bells. I'm tired and hungry and don't want to play games …"

"Oh, like the mind games you've been playing since we've met?"

Narrowing his eyes and flexing his jaw, Dean said in a low, gruff voice, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Bella raised an eyebrow and attempted to get out of the car. Dean offered her his hand but she purposely shoved it aside as she stood on two feet. "Really?" She reached a hand in the back pocket of her jeans and tossed a picture of her in the blue dress she wore to the prom with Edward on the ground at Dean's feet.

He bent down to pick it up. When those soft brown eyes of the girl stared back at him his heart twisted. So much had changed since he first saw that picture. He'd always been infatuated with Bella, the simple life she had, the choices that weren't taken away from her like they had been from him. All the letters and pictures from Charlie over the years represented a life free of hunting, something normal. And maybe that was why he kept doing what he did, because if he was that perfect little soldier and saved enough people, he could finally have that happily ever after. But then Charlie needed his help and shit went to hell.

Somehow Bella had managed to get wrapped up in a coven of vampires. If it were up to Dean, he would have ganked every last one of them, but Charlie had other plans. Years out of the game must have softened the old man, because there was no way in hell Dean's father would have ever let them walk. Charlie explained the situation to Dean over the phone and it only enraged him.

"Look, Dean, she's still a kid. I'm not going to stomp on everything I tried so hard to give her because you think he needs to die. They're not hurting anyone. I have a plan. I just need you to keep an eye on her … make sure she doesn't do anything stupid, like ask him to make her one of them."

Dean grasped the picture in his hand, closing his eyes. He'd kept an eye on her alright. He'd watched so closely, he knew the exact moment she'd fallen in love with Edward, and now that picture in his hand mocked him.

"Bella, wait!" he called after her as she stormed off into the night.

Sam gave Bobby an awkward smile. "So …"

"You wanna catch a ride with me, boy?"

~o~

"BELLA!"

"Unless you're going to start with the truth, go away!" she yelled from somewhere deep in the forest that surrounded the cemetery.

Dean huffed, pausing to take out a flashlight from his bag. He flicked it on, chasing after her.

"Can we talk about this?"

Bella let out a dark chuckle that sounded like it was coming from Dean's left. "That's rich. We've had six months to talk about it … and not once did you ever mention it!"

Dean quickly shined the light to the side but Bella had already changed positions. "I'm not shouting this conversation through the woods. Just stop, okay?"

A rustling from a few feet away caught Dean's attention, and he directed his flashlight toward the sound. The light illuminated a large oak tree that Bella was leaning against. He could see her chest heaving and wondered if it was from the chase or her anger.

"I'm sorry," he said, closing the distance between them. His eyes met her pain-filled ones. For a minute he felt like what the demons did when he shoved the knife into them; it felt like his soul was being torn from his body. "I didn't … I just …"

He took a few steps closer and reached out his hand to cradle her face. Instinctively, she jerked away but the soothing tone of his voice caused her to melt into his touch. "I was going to tell you … I just didn't know how. I kept waiting for the right time but then …"

The fire he loved so much had returned to her eyes, but it pained him to see it was directed at him. "But then you were going to Hell so you figured why not just keep lying. She'll never know anyway."

"Dammit, Bella! It's not like that!"

She placed her hand over his on her cheek, her eyes pleading. "Then tell me what it is like … because right now … right now I feel like you just ripped my insides out. I feel like whatever we have—had," she stressed the past tense of the word, because whatever they had shattered with Dean's indiscretions, "is based on a lie. I'm not that girl in those letters and pictures, Dean. I never will be."

He took her face in both his hands and looked straight into her eyes, their faces so close their lips almost touched as he spoke. "I don't want you to be."

Bella swallowed thickly, stunned by his admission.

Dean took the pads of his thumbs and gently brushed under her eyes, knowing full well that she was on the verge of tears. He needed to do something quick, before he lost her for good. Sharing wasn't really his thing. If he was being honest, neither were feelings. But this was Bella. All he did since the moment she walked into his life was feel. She made him want things he had no business wanting, and he loved her when he knew he didn't deserve her.

Slowly, he pulled his hands away and scrubbed one down the front of his face. He brought it behind his head to rest on his neck and let out a long sigh, looking down.

"Before I ever met you, I loved you," he said in a low whisper.

A sob escaped Bella's chest. Her greatest fear had come to fruition. Dean could never love the damaged, broken girl she really was. He loved an innocence she lost long ago, a life she never had a chance at.

He leaned in, their foreheads touching, and pressed his lips gently on the corner of her mouth. "Shh …" Her tears were damn near breaking him too.

Pulling away, he squeezed his eyes shut and balled his hands into fists, his next words a physical struggle.

"I loved the idea of what you meant. You showed me that the kind of life I always wanted actually existed, that I could actually have it." Dean smoothed a hand down the back of her head and smiled. "But then this hot cop practically knocked me out..." he let out a nervous laugh and smiled "...no really, you were kind of rough with me in the cell."

It was the first time Bella smiled and Dean felt like he could finally breathe. "You were beautiful, and confident, and strong, and you didn't put up with my shit. And I fell, Bells … I fell fucking hard. But it didn't feel a thing like falling because I needed it, I needed you. You weren't just this infatuation anymore. You were right in front of me and the woman you are, the woman I love … is so incredible, that the girl in the pictures couldn't even compare."

Bella launched herself and Dean, wrapping her arms and legs around his body and crashing her mouth to his. Those words, the ones she never thought she'd hear again … especially from Dean Winchester … was all that she needed.

Dean placed a hand under her ass for support and wound the other in her long, brown hair. He gripped it tightly in his fist, pulling her head back slightly to look in her eyes. The need and want he found there made his dick twitch.

"I want you," Bella said between throaty moans.

He grunted, knowing he'd take her right then and there if she'd let him. Digging his fingertips into her hips, he set her down on her feet. "Bells, there's still a lot more we need to talk about."

Bella started taking off her leather jacket. "I don't care," she said, reaching around and pulling her T-shirt over her head. Working a hand around her back, agile fingers unclasped her bra and it gently fell to the ground.

She stood bare before him, the moonlight reflecting off her white, creamy skin. Dean's Adam's apple moved up and down as he forced a swallow. Bella always took his breath away, from her perky tits and ass that wouldn't quit, to the way she kissed him like she was stapling her soul to his.

Smirking, Bella brought her hands to the button of her jeans and started to shimmy out of them. "You gonna just stand there, or did you plan on helping," she asked as the tight denim caught on her hips.

A glimpse of the sorry excuse for panties that Bella liked to wear stirred something primal in him, that thin scrap of black fabric resting on the perfect curve of her hips. He advanced toward her and the predatory look in his eyes caused her to step backwards until her spine pressed against the tree. She winced at the feel of the bark scraping against her naked flesh, but that only urged him on. Dean's tongue crept out and licked his lower lip before he bit down on it, his eyes raking over her body. He reached out and tore her pants, along with the lace thong, down her long, pale legs.

Bella maneuvered her feet out of the leg openings. Smirking wickedly, she leaned forward to undo Dean's pants.

Dean raised an eyebrow. "While you're down there …"

He felt Bella's nails dig into his ass cheeks. "Just because you spilled your guts doesn't mean this gets to be about you, mister." She unclasped his belt and the button to his jeans and gave them a firm yank.

The need to be inside of her overpowered the patience it took to remove his pants fully. Instead of pulling them all the way down, he shoved his jeans until they hugged his muscular thighs, exposing his pale blue boxer briefs. Bella's tongue darted out across her lips as she took in the sight of his bulge.

Closing the gap, Dean placed his hands on her shoulders and smirked. "Oh, trust me, sweetheart, this has everything to do with you." He applied pressure, forcing her to turn around. When she was facing the tree, he trailed his hands down her naked back, pausing just above the dimples of her ass, and pushed forward, causing her to lean over and grasp the tree for support.

Dean trailed his hands over her hips and gave them a firm squeeze. He gripped her by the left hip while his right hand dug into the opening of his boxer briefs and took out his throbbing cock. The cool air against the sensitive skin caused it to jerk slightly, but he palmed it with his hand, pumping it a few times before bringing it to Bella's waiting entrance.

The feel of the tip of Dean's cock pushing into her sent a shiver through her body. She gasped as he pushed all the way into her. He didn't go slow or easy, but when had things ever been like that for them? He took her from behind, rocking his hips against her—hard. Between thrusts, Dean moved Bella's hair to one side, exposing her long neck, and he placed a wet kiss there, followed by a quick nip. Bella winced when his teeth made contact, but the throaty moan she released soon after told Dean how much she really liked it.

Bella tightened her grip on the tree as Dean relentlessly pounded into her. He wrapped a hand around her, his hand skimming over her breasts as they bounced with the movement.

"Oh my fucking God," she cried as Dean twisted and pinched her nipple.

Her moaning only made him want to go deeper. Swiveling his hips, he ground into her and was met with Bella's arched back. She couldn't get close enough and pushed her ass into him, moaning. The sounds of her heavy breathing and the way his name died on her lips with each thrust, causing her to make these little whimper-gasps, brought him closer and closer to the edge.

His release was about to creep up on him if he kept at the unforgiving pace. Digging his fingers into Bella's hip, he pulled her into him, and with the other hand he reached between her legs. The minute his fingers made contact with the over sensitized area, she cried out his name.

"DEAN!"

He hugged her tight to his body, nestling his face in her neck while he pumped into her. They both let out a long exhale. Still holding her to him, he closed his eyes and gave her a squeeze. Of all the ways he had imagined their reunion going down, what just transpired was definitely not one of them. Once their breathing regulated, he slowly released his hold on her. She turned her head over her shoulder and smiled, her brown eyes filling with warmth and … love?

The fact still remained, Dean spilled his guts and told her how he really felt, but did she feel the same way? He knew deep in his gut that Bella loved him, from how she'd literally go to the end of the earth to save him and the way she smiled that smile only for him, but those three words had never actually come out of her mouth.

And nothing had ever scared Dean that much … not even Hell.


E/N – A little lemony goodness, a little angst… How are we feeling? How's Dean feeling? Knowing what you guys are thinking makes me post faster. Leave some love.