Thank you everyone for the reviews for the last chapter, it was absolutely lovely to hear from you! A special thanks goes out to those I could not reply directly to, including Hermione Granger (it is beginning indeed, thank you :D) and the unnamed guests – thank you very much :D If I haven't replied to you, I sincerely apologise, my internet has been playing around again!

So, please forgive any mistakes and read, enjoy, and review!

Chapter One Hundred and Three # When Winter Comes #

"Behold! the hope of Elvenland," Kíli's lips moved silently around the words, "the fire of Fëanor, Light of Morn…" Wonder warmed his heart as his finger reverently traced the lines on the ivory paper, "before the sun and moon were born, thus out of bondage came at last, from iron to mortal hand it passed." He looked up at the keeper of the bookstall with wide eyes. "How much for this book?"

"For you, nothing."

"What?!" Kíli looked up in shock, his movements so sharp that the wolf by his side jolted and whined. "This is worth at least five gold coins – more than that, perhaps, I cannot take it from you for nothing."

The young stall-keeper shifted and lowered his eyes. "You are the prince, my Lord."

"No," Kíli shook his head. "That's just wrong. I must pay you – how much?"

"My Lord, please…" For the first time, the stall-keeper met Kíli's eyes. "Take it. It is the meanest gesture from my family to you."

Taking a note of the pain and guilt and – was that fear? – in the stall-keeper's eyes, Kíli frowned. "What makes you think that your family owes me anything?"

The stall-keeper looked even more tortured. "My name is Calder, your highness. My brother's name was Balder."

Kíli froze as a wave of memories pounded down upon him.

"So this is what the noblehouse of Durin has been reduced to," Balder sneered, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Of course, that is your problem."

Einar nodded in agreement. "He's right, you know. If you weren't so weak, so pathetic,we would not be here today. You are a disgrace to your family and that is why our employer wants to get rid of you-"

"We may as well use his name, Einar." Balder's casual tone sent shivers down Kíli's spine. "The little prince knows it was Dwalin who gave the orders for his execution."

"You're lying!" Kíli hissed, trying to hide the flinch that had trembled through his body at Dwalin's name.

"Oh, the poor little boy doesn't believe us, Einar!" Balder crooned.

"No, I don't, I have no reason to!" Kíli snarled, struggling against his bonds.

"I expect you want to believe that your family still breathe, too?" Einar asked in an almost bored tone.

It took a moment for Kíli to unfreeze his tongue. "If they are hurt I swear to you-"

"They are dead." Balder said bluntly. "Do you want some proof? Here!"

There was a faint thump and Kíli swallowed as a knife embedded itself in the floor before his eyes. Despite the lack of light, the knife was easily recognisable – Kíli knew the shape of it, the patterns of it, and most importantly the seal engraved onto the pommel. It was one of Fíli's treasured hunting knives, and its handle was singed black.

"I'm sure you heard me when I came in," Balder continued. "There were four corpses in the skeleton of the bear's home, and I doubt your dear brother would have left that knife in such a condition – not willingly."

"You're lying!" Kíli's voice broke slightly as he realised that he had no reason to doubt the dwarf's words. His family had still been inside the burning house when he had lost consciousness and they had been screaming.

"You know I'm not." Balder said firmly. "They died in pain, they died in-"

Kíli took a deep breath and wiggled his toes like Iola had taught him. Beside him, Luno whined and brushed gently against his leg.

"Bring yourself back to the now," the healer had told him. "Are you in any danger at this very moment? No? Then focus on your breathing and wiggle your fingers and toes. Pat down your limbs, think only of the moment you are in. If you are in any danger remove yourself from the situation but if not, just breathe in and out and remind yourself that you are safe."

Taking another deep breath, Kíli cleared his throat. "Oh… I see…"

Calder's face burned. "I am so, so sorry for what my brother did. Please, please just take the book."

I am safe. I am here. I am fine.

"Did you…" Kíli had to clear his throat again. "Did you have anything to do with it?"

Calder's eyes widened. "No, your highness, I swear to Mahal himself! I would never, no, I couldn't. I couldn't."

Kíli nodded slowly, inclined to believe the dwarf, who could not be any older than he was.

"I can assure you, your highness," Calder said softly. "I am no traitor, no torturer. My brother… my brother… he did not speak for our family. I believe that he believed he was doing what was best, but it was wrong, so wrong, and…"

Kíli took another deep breath and kept the memories at bay, staring down at the book in his hands.

"Besides," Calder's voice had trailed down to no more than a whisper. "If I were even a little sympathetic to my brother's faults I think that his majesty and Lord Dwalin would have me in the dungeons or worse by now."

"True," Kíli agreed, running his fingers over the book. "Your brother… He died, didn't he?"

Calder swallowed and hung his head. "Yes. He did."

"I'm sorry," Kíli looked up to meet Calder's startled eyes. "I'm sorry that you lost your brother. But I can't take this for no charge, it's just… It's too much!"

"Please, your highness, I cannot take money from you."

Luno huffed and slumped onto the floor, and Kíli glanced at him. "You're right, we're not getting anywhere are we?"

The wolf blinked and shook his head.

"If you let me pay for this one I'll accept a less expensive one as a gift," Kíli offered.

"Alright," Calder said slowly. "Take any of them, any which takes your fancy!"

Kíli pursed his lips and gazed over the numerous titles. His eye was instantly drawn by a small, blue bound book. The cover was worn, but in good condition, and the pages were a little on the tattered side. "What about that one?"

"That one? But sir, that is not fair," Calder pulled a face. "It is by far the cheapest item on the table-"

"Please," Kíli said, putting five gold coins on the table and picking up the blue book.

Calder hesitated. "Aright… It is a deal…"

"Thank you," Kíli smiled. "I hope to see you soon."

Calder nodded. "You too, my lord."

Nodding almost to himself, Kíli walked away, his awkwardness quickening his steps.

"Well, that was interesting," he muttered to Luno.

The wolf let out a growl, the type that Kíli had come to recognise as agreement.

"Kíli! There you are!"

Kíli looked around in surprise. "Bragi? What's wrong?"

"You're wrong, you little nuisance!" the albino swatted Kíli around the back of the head. "Where have you been?"

Kíli blinked innocently. "Buying books!"

"Honestly," Bragi shook his head. "Stop doing that!"

"Buying books?"

"No!" Bragi hit him again. "Running off. That's twice in two days."

"I'm sorry," Kíli smiled sheepishly. "I'm not used to having a bodyguard – I'm not doing it on purpose, I promise!"

"Your footsteps would be louder if you were a halfling," Bragi's stern face finally cracked into a smile. "I should tie a bell around your neck."

Kíli pulled a face. "No thank you. Besides, Luno's with me."

The wolf huffed proudly in agreement, bumping against Bragi's side.

"That is not the point." Bragi grinned. "Right, have you got quite enough books?"

"You can never have enough books."

"I would agree, but you have unlimited access to a library with more books than you could read in a thousand lifetimes."

"Yes, but there're not my books, are they?"

Bragi frowned. "Do they need to be?"

"It's always different when they're your own books. And besides, I doubt the library of Erebor has a copy of the tale of Beren and Lúthien?"

Bragi raised his eyebrows. "Then you clearly haven't visited the elvish section."

"There's an elvish section?" Kíli gasped.

"Of course… Apparently King Thrór liked the thought of Thranduil's reaction upon discovering that Durin's folk possessed tomes older than any folk beneath the mountain – or even their fathers."

"We do?"

Bragi raised an eyebrow. "Breathe, Kíli. Breathe."

Kíli complied, his wide eyes fixed on his friend. "We should go to the library!"

Bragi shrugged. "If you've finished in the market."

"Oh!" Kíli's sheepish smile returned. "Have you finished?"

"I have indeed," Bragi held up a satchel. "Shall we go?"

Kíli grinned. "Definitely… It's strange. I thought it would be much quieter now that all of the guests have gone, but it's still so busy."

"We're growing again," Bragi smiled softly. "We're rebuilding and it's paying off."

"It looks like it is, doesn't it?"

They walked out of the market and into one of the many corridors that led to the library.

"So," Bragi said. "Do you miss being alone?"

"What?"

"Is that why you 'accidentally' slip off like that?"

Kíli paused. "No, but it is a little…exhausting… when you barely have five minutes to breathe by yourself."

Bragi nodded, his eyes full of sympathy. "I must admit, I do not envy you at all. Solitude can be hard to come by when you're a royal."

"I know – if you'd told me two years ago that I would need a bodyguard I would have called you insane."

"Do you ever wish that you'd stayed in the Shire? When the company first arrived, I mean."

Kíli sighed, sinking his fingers into Luno's fur. "If I hadn't I wouldn't have come to know my family, my friends. I wouldn't be who I am now. But… there are days, well, nights, usually, when I wish I'd just hidden away with Bilbo. The regret of the maybe would be less sharp than the grief of…"

His mind was bombarded with Drogo's snorting laugh, Prim's exuberant singing, Bell's gentle face, Robin's wonderful hugs…

Bragi put a hand on Kíli's shoulder again. "I'm sorry, Kíli."

"Me too," Kíli smiled sadly, blinking away tears. "But I didn't choose that. I chose to set out for Erebor and I can't change that now."

"No, you can't," Bragi agreed, pausing. "You're seeing Iola, aren't you?"

Kíli frowned slightly. "Yes… how do you know?"

Bragi rolled his eyes. "Apart from the fact that I'm your appointed bodyguard?

"Oh… I forgot."

"Again," Bragi laughed. "I'll forgive you this time, for I did not actually know which of the healers you were there to see. In truth, it is more the way you spoke. I used to see Iola myself; every day for a time."

"Really?" Kíli exclaimed, unable to stop himself.

Bragi nodded, his lips twitching into a sad shadow of a smile. "It started when I was about Bróin's age. My family decided to move from a colony east of the Iron Hills to the Blue Mountains – we lived in utter poverty and my father's drinking was getting him into trouble. On the way, though, we ran into a group of nomads who followed the Old Ways."

"The Old Ways?"

Bragi nodded, his happy-go-lucky face fading away completely into a solemnity that Kíli rarely saw from his friend. "Traditions and beliefs from the time when the world was young and dark. Back then there were some among our race who quickly grew corrupted by shadows and evil, and of those dwarves came practises that grew into traditions and beliefs that have ever been rejected by the rest of our kind. Those who devote their lives to the Old Ways isolate themselves from the rest of us, some are nomads and others delve deep into hills and mountains miles away from any others. It's the nomads that are dangerous though."

"I see," Kíli said slowly.

"These nomads, the ones we ran into… They grew very excited when they saw me. They have a belief, you see, that the uh… the blood and body parts of albinos can be used in black magic, and for medicinal purposes."

It felt like cold stone had dropped from Kíli's chest through his stomach. "Oh… Mahal, that's horrible…"

Bragi smiled sadly. "They came upon us and offered my parents fifty gold coins for me. My father refused. They threatened to kill my parents and take me anyway, and again, my father refused. My mother begged and pleaded…"

"Oh, Mahal, Bragi..."

Bragi took a deep. "She begged and pleaded for them to take me and leave her and my siblings be."

"She didn't?!" Shock hit Kíli like a punch to the gut as he tried to comprehend what his friend had experienced.

"She did," Bragi murmured. "She tried to rip me out of Ada's arms but he… He wouldn't let go. I remember him back away and run, but it begins to blur from there… Vague memories of falling and running and screaming – some memories are sharp as you are here now. I remember the first time they stabbed my father. I remember how it felt when they took my blood. I remember the feeling of the rope in my mouth and around my wrists… I don't remember much else, like I said, it's blurry."

Kíli's own wrists were burning with the memory of harsh ropes against his skin, but that was nothing compared to the horrific image of his friend as a little child, afraid and gagged and bound and alone at the mercy of savages who wanted his blood for black magic. It made him want to be sick.

"I was lucky," Bragi said. "Some merchants from the Blue Mountains rescued me on their way home. They took me back to my mother, I remember running to her and falling into her arms, and I remember her screaming and pushing me away. She called me cursed. Blamed me for my father's death. She was hysterical, she told the guards that I was a demon. She demanded that they throw me to the wild, that they get me away from her."

Bragi's soft footsteps were the only things that broke the silence for a moment, until the albino took a deep breath and spoke again.

"Like I said, I was lucky. One of the dwarves who happened to be there was Ragan, Soren's father. He picked me up, put me on the front of his pony and told my mother that she should be ashamed of herself, and would do good to leave before his fury grew. Then he took me into the mountain and took me in as his ward. For the first six months I did not say a word. Not a single word. Almost immediately, though, Ragan took me to see the healers – Iola was only an apprentice then, but I think that's why they paired me with her. She wasn't very scary. It helped."

Kíli stammered around the lump in his throat. "Bragi, I'm so sorry."

"So am I, sometimes," Bragi nodded. "But like I said Iola helped me. She helped me come to terms with everything. Helped me deal and cope, and the like. I still see her now, every month or so. Helps to keep me sane. And there isn't any shame in that, no shame at all. That's something else that she helped me come to terms with. Sometimes people need help. Sometimes I need help. Now, the only people to know as much as you do are Soren, Ragan, and Svana, Soren's mother. Oh, and Thorin. Ragan told him the story when he took me in. Which means that Dís probably knows. But besides, the point is that I told you for a reason. I wanted you to know that there are other people out there with an insane childhood, an adoptive father, a slight identity crisis and a fair deal of trauma to deal with that have turned out alright."

Staring at his friend, Kíli tried to make his mouth form legible words. "Bragi, I… You…"

"What I'm trying to say, Kíli, is that I've been traumatised to within an inch of my life. I'm not saying it's worse than your experience. I'm not saying that your experience was worse than mine. I'm saying that I'm alright. And that Iola's the best, so you'll be alright too."

Kíli swallowed and nodded. "I… I believe you."

"Good," Bragi's smile strengthened and he slung his arm around Kíli's shoulder. "Let's change the subject then, shall we?"

"Yes," Kíli cleared his throat. "So, where are Soren's parents?"

"Still in Ered Luin. They expect to emigrate over in the next year or so but there are complications, so they sent us on ahead."

"Do you still live with them? Or did you, before?"

"Nah, I had my own place. Actually, I shared the rent with Soren."

"Who's older?"

"I am, by six years. Are you interrogating me now, Kíli?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. Can't help it."

"Don't worry about it."

"To the library?"

"To the library."


"So, I put the eggs in now?"

"Yes, crack them into a separate bowl first, and whisk them up a little."

Fíli frowned slightly. "Does that really do anything, or does it just cause extra washing up?"

"Every time I've skipped this step something has gone terribly wrong. Nana Laura always said that a true Baggins never skips a step, and I've never known Nana Laura to be wrong," Bilbo declared. "Except for the time she told me that I'd marry Ruby Bolger… She could not have been more wrong on that had she tried."

"How come?"

"Well, she thought I was a baby, I thought she was bossy, she threw me into a puddle and I threw a chicken in her face. Then she married my cousin Fosco."

"Oh," Fíli blinked. "That sounds very complicated."

Bilbo shrugged. "Ah, it all turned out for the best. Ruby Bolger, now Baggins, is Frodo's grandmother."

"Oh! So you could've been a grandpa by now then?"

Bilbo blanched. "That makes me feel a little ill…"

"So," Fíli laughed. "Have you ever fallen in love Bilbo?"

To Fíli's astonishment, Bilbo turned bright red – the prince had never seen the hobbit so deep a shade.

"Well, uh, no, I can't say I ever have."

"Really?" Fíli could not help but grin. "The tomatoes in your cheeks say differently."

"Shut up, you!" Bilbo thwacked Fíli with a tea-towel. "Crack the eggs. Now."

Fíli laughed and did as he was told, remaining silent until he had whisked the eggs slightly. "Is that enough?"

"Yes," Bilbo said gruffly. "Now put them into the bowl."

"Is it someone still in the in the Shire?"

Bilbo's teeth clenched together and tipped a little spoonful of salt into the bowl. "I've never had time for that sort of business, I had Kíli to look after and that is a full time occupation. Now, beat that."

"So it's someone here," Fíli could not resist theorising out loud. "Oh! Is it a dwarf? Are you in love with a dwarf, Bilbo?"

"Fíli!" Bilbo hit him again. "I am not in love with anyone!"

Fíli bit his lip, abashed. "I'm sorry, Bilbo… I was only teasing…"

Bilbo managed to glare for a whole two seconds before smiling and rubbing Fíli's shoulder. "Don't look at me like that, you great sap! Get beating that batter!"

"Yes sir!" Fíli nodded, resolving to drop the subject.

It was curious though, that the hobbit had reacted so strongly. It was not at all what Fíli had expected, and it led him to wonder if maybe there was something going on that he had not picked up on yet. It made him curious, but he would have to decide whether or not he would feel guilty about poking his nose in before he investigated any further.

"Besides," Bilbo murmured. "If you don't drop this pointless and fruitless subject, I'll start digging into your love life."

Fíli paused. "I don't have a love life."

"I saw the way you looked at that pretty little lady on the last day of the Durin's Day festivities… The dancer. What was her name? Nora? Nala?"

"Noa," Fíli corrected, before cursing. "The fact that I remembered that does not mean that I have a soft spot for her. It just means that she is a very talented dancer."

"Let me tell you simply and sweetly, my dear Fíli. You stay out of my non-existent love life, and I stay of yours. That includes not mentioning to your mother or any female hobbits I might mention that you have a little bit of a crush."

"Understood," Fíli nodded. Oh, he would be investigating now – Bilbo clearly had something to hide – but it would have to be done in private. He did not want his mother to get any ideas about his own love life, or more accurately the lack thereof.

"Oh, that's looking lovely!" Bilbo commented, dipping a finger into the corner of the bowl and testing the batter. "Tastes good too! Stick it in the oven now, Fíli. I'll put the kettle on."

Soon enough the smell of a slowly baking cake filled Bilbo's small kitchen, and the dwarf and hobbit were sitting comfortably at the counter.

"How long do you have now?"

Fíli glanced at the clock on the wall. "About an hour."

"Oh, they'll be done before them," Bilbo waved his hand. "I'll have a box or basket somewhere around here that you can put a couple in on the go if we're short of time."

"Thank you, Bilbo," Fíli grinned. "It might just make the meeting bearable."

"I expect they're terribly boring," the hobbit pulled a face. "Matters of politics and the like?"

"You have no idea," he groaned. "Now that Durin's Day is over and winter is truly upon us several we've had to completely rearrange our food suppliers. We do not yet have stores enough for the whole winter, especially with the festivities last week."

The hobbit went pale. "We're running low on food?!"

"Not yet," Fíli assured him with a wry smile. "But we've extended and altered treaties with nearby importers. The trouble is that New Dale is still a fledgling city itself. Lake Town is booming, which is a help, but we cannot expect much help from Bard. If anything, he needs our help."

Bilbo pursed his lips. "Well, I'm sure we'll make do…"

"We will," Fíli grinned at his brother's father. "And don't worry – we know how easily hobbits starve, and we won't let that happen."

"See, I knew there was a reason I kept you around," Bilbo laughed, glancing at the clock. "While we wait, let's make the icing, hmm?"

"Alright," Fíli stood up, pausing only to take a tip of tea.

He had planned to go to the market with Kíli today, but when Thorin asked him at breakfast to sit in on the council meeting Fíli knew that it was not a request. Bilbo had clearly seen the look on his face as he agreed, because he had recruited the younger prince as a baking assistant, seeing how Frodo was in lessons.

Fíli would readily admit that baking was quite enjoyable. His mother, however, had taken one look at her son in an apron and announced that she could be found with the toddlers in Hlín's Arena, on the other side of the mountain.

"Now, do any of your friends bake?"

"I'm not sure," Fíli admitted, stirring the ingredients that Bilbo had put in the bowl. "I think Jari does. Wouldn't surprise me if Soren does too, on occasion, but I don't know. Why?"

"You're not to tell anyone what comes next!" Bilbo's voice had never sounded so serious. "It is a secret, guarded for generations, got it?"

Fíli nodded, intrigued, as Bilbo glanced at the door and then reached into the back of the cupboard, pulling out a small, brown box. Opening it carefully, Bilbo sprinkled lavender into the mixture.

"What're you doing?" Fíli cried. "That's a flower!"

"Dried flower," Bilbo corrected, snapping the pot shut and hiding it again, before pointing his finger in Fíli's face. "That is the Baggins family secret, and you will tell no one, do you understand?"

"Of course, no-" Fíli trailed off mid word. "Bilbo… I'm… I'm not a Baggins."

The hobbit smiled, pressing his hand against the dwarf's cheek for a second the same way that he would to Kíli. "Not by blood, perhaps."

Fíli's mouth popped open and he stared at the hobbit.

And then he smiled, and bowed his head over the bowl.

Fíli loved his hobbits.

There we go, I hope you enjoyed that! As you can see there's a little angst in with the fluff, so I hope you liked that.

Thank you for reading, if you want to leave a review I would really appreciate it!

I wish you all the very best of New Years, I really do :D