Chapter 23

They stayed the night in the Master's house, celebrating, but Bilbo wasn't allowed to taste the wine.

Thorin quelled Bilbo's arguments. "I don't care if the Hobbits consider you middle age, Bilbo! You are not even an adult as a Dwarf! I will not allow you to drink anything except water!" He glared at Bilbo until Bilbo stopped arguing.

"Stupid, narrow minded Little Father! Curse your beard and may it fall out hair by hair! You smell like Orc breath and look worse than one! Your head is full of stone!"

Thorin turned away only to turn back violently. "And stop grumbling in Sindarin!"

Bilbo huffed and stomped away. He sighed and looked at the stars. "Where is Gandalf?"

Fíli sighed and appeared next to him. "I don't know, but I hope he comes by tomorrow morning." He looked at his little cousin. "How are you doing?"

Bilbo shrugged. "I joined this company as an adult Dwobbit. And now, at the end of the quest, I'm considered a child Prince." He cursed again, this time in Khuzdul. "Thorin wants to change everything about my life!" He glared at the party. "I used to drink every night in the Green Dragon back at the Shire. Yes! And I could drink you Dwarves under the table too!"

Gloin choked on his pipe smoke in his laughter. He was just passing by and overheard that. "Laddie, you're too small and slender to hold your liquor!"

Bilbo bristled. "I bet you wrong!"

Nori popped up. "Bets?!"

They dragged Bilbo back in. Thorin didn't get a chance to argue, or even know what was happening, before the men plopped two pints of ale in front of Bilbo and Gloin.

"Drink every drop, and remember laddie! No regurgitations!"

Thorin was shouting for this madness to stop, but for once, the Dwarves ignored their King. Thorin would make them pay for that.

Bilbo slowly drank his ale, getting use to the flavor and strength. It was nothing compared to the liquor made in the breweries at the Shire. Bilbo smiled and continued to pace himself as Gloin gulped it down.

Bilbo had out-drunk Elladan and Elrohir, both, while he was staying at Rivendell, so he knew that he could out-drink Gloin.

Thorin, who was all but wringing his hands, stopped and suddenly started cheering Bilbo on, chorused by Fíli and Kíli. Oin was shouting for his brother to win.

Bilbo chuckled and reached for yet another mug of ale. He burped slightly and excused himself. The men were laughing at the proper Dwobbit, who was also guzzling ale. Gloin was still going strong, but Bilbo knew that it was only adrenaline. He would keel over in a moment or two.

Bilbo set down his fifteenth mug of ale and reached for another. He missed at first but then took it more carefully and sipped it, eyeing how Gloin was swaying dangerously.

Bilbo drunk down his sixteenth and reached slowly for his seventeenth. After drinking that, he paused and looked around. "I feel slightly woozy…"

Gloin belched. "See! He can't hold…his…liquoooor…" He collapsed. All the men and Dwarves were laughing at him.

Bilbo blinked and shook his head gently. "I think I need some tea. Black tea, nothing added please." Fíli was laughing as he went to get it made. Bilbo soon had a cup of black tea in his hands. His head was already clearing. Bilbo smiled brightly and retired to bed.

~the morning after~

All the Dwarves were glaring at each other, growling if one of them went too near their food or coffee. Gloin was the worse. He was still half asleep.

Only Balin, Oin, Ori, Nori, and Kíli didn't have any hangovers. Balin and Oin had long sinced gotten over the joys of drinking to excess, and Kíli and Ori were still too young. And Nori never allowed himself to get inebriated. It could get him killed, being too drunk to fight back an attack.

Bilbo bounced down the stairs. "Hello everyone!"

They glared at him. Balin frowned. "Bilbo? What are you doing sounding so chipper?"

Kíli smirked. "Yeah, shouldn't you have a headache the size of the mountain?"

Bilbo laughed brightly. "Oh! Hobbits never get hangovers!"

Nori started laughing loudly. "Oh ho! Gloin! Did you hear that?!"

"Very clearly, Master Nori. And if you want to keep hearing things, I suggest you shut up and leave me alone. Lest I cut off your ears!"

Nori snickered and sat next to Bilbo. "I got a lot of money from you."

Bilbo smirked and then frowned in thought. "Nori, could I have a little of that? I want to get some wood and whittling tools. I lost mine in the river."

Nori nodded. "Sure. After all, it was you who helped me get it."

Bilbo smiled and slipped away before Thorin or Dwalin could notice. He moved swiftly to the market place and started looking for what he wanted.

He didn't notice a dark shape of an Orc slip up behind him until the shop keeper screamed and ran. Bilbo ducked, pulling out one of his last few daggers and embedding it into the throat of the Orc. He jumped away from the two others and scampered along the board walk. He noticed two other presences and moved to avoid them but saw that they were Elves. One Orc was about to stab the red haired Elf. She was too busy killing two others. Bilbo cursed and leaped. He landed behind the Orc and stabbed it with Sting.

She turned quickly and smiled down at him. "Thank you."

"It was my pleasure, daughter of Eru." Her eyes widened.

"You can speak Sindarin?"

Legolas flipped over to them from the roof. "Gossip later. There are still Orcs to be killed." They started moving in sync. Bilbo had trained with Elves for enough time to know how they fought. He slid between the Prince's legs and jumped up to block the Orc form attacking Legolas' back. Throwing his last two daggers, he killed two Orcs before they could run at Red Head.

When all the Orcs, who had attacked them, were killed, Legolas turned to Bilbo. "You are the fourteenth member of Thorin Oakenshield's company?"

Bilbo nodded. "Yes."

"How are you?" Tauriel asked quickly.

Bilbo smiled. "I am fine. The healer in our group saved me."

Legolas nodded and then looked at him intently. "Where did you learn to speak Sindarin?"

"I learned from Lord Elrond of Imladris. I lived there for five years. He tutored me. My mother, a Hobbit, saved his daughter's life. In return, he taught me everything I wanted to learn. I'm Bilbo by the way."

Legolas looked impressed. He smiled. "I am Legolas, son of Thranduil, King of Great Greenwood. This is Tauriel, Captain of the King's Guard. Well met, Master Bilbo."

Bilbo grinned. "Well met." Then, he realized that it was getting late. "I need to go. I hope I shall see you again!" They nodded to him, and he left.

I came to the conclusion that if Hobbits could eat five slices of Lembas and still be hungry…well, what could they do with alcohol? ; D

Ink…