Quinn's POV
I pull Beth's arms through the little black dress I am putting on her, she is squirming around. "Beth, baby please stay still" she is extremely fussy this morning, it's as if she knows what day it is. It's like she knows that today is Shelby's funeral and it's a day where everyone is supposed to be upset. I hear footsteps coming from behind me and I turn to find Puck standing in the doorway of Beth's room. "Could you help me?"
"Yeah, sure" he talks quietly, it seems like the weigh of today is already falling heavy on him. He walks over and holds her up as I button the back of her dress.
"Can you sit down with her so I can fix her hair?" Puck takes her into his arms and walks into the bathroom, he sits down on the toilet and I pull her brush out of a drawer. I try and smooth out her messy curls before running a brush through them. "She has my hair"
"Yeah, she looks just like you" he chuckles
"What's so funny?"
"I'm just thinking about how beautiful she will be when she grows up, how many guys I'm going to have to fend off"
"That's right, we don't want her getting pregnant at 16"
"We'll just have to make sure she doesn't get a boyfriend like me"
"Your not so bad" I give him a small smile "But your right, I won't let her make our same mistakes" I finish brushing out her hair and pull it back into a ponytail. I give her a quick kiss on her cheek and put the brush away. "I still have to get ready"
"Okay, I'll get dressed quick and will watch her for you"
"Thanks" The thing about having a child and being a mom is that you never put yourself first anymore, Beth is always put first now. He walks out of the bathroom and I close the door behind him. I start the shower and undress, I step in and let the warm water fall over my head and run down my back. I imagine the water is the tension I have had built up since I woke up and that as it falls it is leaving my mind. I wash my hair and rinse, I turn off the water and grab a towel. I dry off my hair and then wrap the towel around my body, I walk out of the room and head towards my room. Puck is sitting on the floor playing with some toys with Beth, he is now dressed in a black suit and he looks over at me. He blushes at the sight of me only wearing a towel, I stop and stare at him. "What?"
"It's nothing, your just in a towel"
"It's not like you haven't seen me naked before" I laugh "Or else she wouldn't be here" I leave him speechless and walk into my room, I brush out my hair and apply my makeup, when I'm done I get my dress on and am looking at myself in the mirror as I try to zip up the zipper in the back. I hear a knock on the door and a voice coming from the other side
"Quinn, can I come in?"
"Yeah" he opens up the door and takes a look at me "Could you zip me up?"
"Yeah, sure" he walks over and I shudder under his touch "Sorry"
"Oh your fine, your hands are just cold" he keeps one hand on my shoulder as he zips me up, his touch is familiar and comfortable but I would never admit to him that I think like that. He finishes zipping up my dress and he continues to stand close to me and I can feel his breath on the back of my neck, I think he might kiss my neck, I want him to kiss my neck. He is leaning in when the sound of Beth crying comes from the other room, I turn so quickly that it knocks him back and I have to catch him, I notice that he holds onto my hand a little longer than normal and then just like that he lets go. We both go out to the living room and and Beth is crying.
"Monkey face, whats wrong?" Puck picks Beth up and plants small kisses all over her little face, I reach down and pick up her stuffed animal that is sitting on the floor and give it to her, she starts to calm down when I rub small circles around her back. Hearing her cry is what snaps me out of it, she is exactly the reason why I can't let anything happen between the two of us. I love her too much to start up a messy relationship with Puck. Like I said, she always comes first now. I go and grab her shoes and her diaper bag, I bring her shoes back and put them onto her feet.
"Are you ready to go?"
"Yeah, did you grab her some snacks? I just don't want her getting fussy later today"
"Yeah, I have a couple of snacks in her bag earlier. She didn't eat much this morning" Puck grabs her coat and puts it on her and then hands her to me as we walk out the door, I get her into her car seat and then get into the car. Puck drives and I give him directions to the church, as we pull into a parking spot I remember all the times coming to this church growing up, how I would come with my family, I can't help but think about taking Beth here when our life is more stable. This is the first time I actually allow myself to think of a future of Beth growing up here, growing up in the town where her parents met and even fell in love, even though that was a long time ago. I get out of the car and get Beth out of her seat while Puck grabs her bag. As we are walking into the church I see two familiar faces walking behind us, Finn and Rachel. They came down from New York, even though Rachel didn't grow up with a mom Shelby was still her biological mother and she wanted to be here, Finn came as her supportive fiancee.
"Hey" Rachel comes up and gives me a hug, I remember a time when we hated each other and now we are close friends, it was Beth that really changed it all. I can't say that Finn and Rachel wouldn't have gotten together eventually, I mean they are soulmates, but if I didn't get pregnant then I might have held onto Finn a little longer.
"I'm really glad you could make it" I give her a smile and accept Finn's hug
"She would have wanted me to be here" Rachel lets a few tears shed and I can feel Beth hold onto me tighter. Rachel runs her fingers through Beth's hair and Beth smiles up at her, at her aunt Rachel. Puck opens up the door of the church and the four of us walk in together. I take a seat up front and hold Beth close to my chest, I am rubbing her back as Puck sits down next to me and Rachel sits on the other side of me. We sit and make small talk as we wait for the service to start, the church starts to fill and I even see some familiar faces like Rachel's dads, Mr. Shue and Mrs. Pillsbury, even Jesse made an appearance. He made sure not to sit near us after seeing Finn sitting closely next to Rachel who is wearing her engagement ring on her left hand. I sit and listen as the service goes on, I quiet down Beth the few times when she starts to cry and make sure she isn't disturbing the speaker. I even let Puck lace our fingers together, he holds my hand tightly and neither of us really acknowledge it, we just let it happen, knowing both of us need it today.
When the service is over we all head over to the next room for refreshments, I had Beth over to Puck "She really needs to eat something, do you think you could give him some snacks while I go and get a drink"
"Yeah sure" he gives me a smile and me and Rachel link arms as we head over to get some drinks.
"So you and Puck are really doing this? Raising Beth together?"
"Yeah"
"How's it been going?"
"Really good actually, it was hard at first but if just feels so natural. I just think I was always meant to be her mother" I realize what I just said and how it sounds after it was already out of my life, out of all days to say something rude this was not one of them "Oh my gosh Rachel I am so sorry, I didn't mean it like that"
"No it's okay, I'm not offended" she gives me a smile to show she isn't upset but I still feel just as bad. We go over and both get some alcohol, they don't even card us, probably not wanting to upset the mother of the grieving child on a day like this. We take our drinks and head back over to the table when Finn and Puck are sitting, I see Puck feeding Beth some applesauce and I can't help but let what I'm thinking slip out of my mouth.
"He is such a good dad"
"He seems like it, you can tell how much he loves her" she smiles at them, I feel like she is smiling more at the sight of Finn helping Puck out, I can just see her imagining Finn and their future children in her head right now. We walk over and take a seat at the table, Beth finishes her applesauce and I get out a box of goldfish for her, I laugh at the thought of us dropping the goldfish at the court hearing, making complete fools out of ourselves in the process.
"So you two are like re-adopting her?" Finn looks confused at his own question
"Basically we are, we currently have legal custody of her but will have to re-adopt her though"
"That sounds really crazy, I mean we are her biological parents, I watched her come out of you" I hit him but not hard enough for it to hurt.
"Puck!" my voice is raised slightly but not enough where I'm yelling. Finn is laughing at us
"What?"
"You can't just say that"
"But it's true!"
"You two are so funny, you have had her less than a month and you are already a married couple" I watch Puck's face closely for any indication that the idea of us being married freaks him out. I wait for him to deny that possibility but he doesn't. We sit around a talk for a while and then we hear someone announce that we are going to be releasing balloons, it is supposed to be symbolic and meaningful so I grab Beth and take Puck's hand as we walk outside. We each grab a balloon, I even hand one to Beth and we follow the crowd. Finn and Rachel are behind us, they are talking to her dads but that's okay, this is our moment, one for our little family. I wait for the cue to let them go and shiver, I hate that I didn't bring my coat, it is freezing out here. Puck notices and takes off his suit coat and puts it around my shoulders
"You don't have too"
"That's okay, I want too" we are quite, the silence is making the sadness of the day dawn on me so I start talking, I say the first thing that pops into my head
"Do you think she will remember her?"
"I'm not sure, I know it's selfish but I kind of don't want her too" I look up at him "I don't want her to hurt over it, I don't ever want her to feel pain or sadness. Isn't that my job as her dad?" I nod and then the cue to let the balloons go, we all release ours at the same time but Beth is still holding onto hers.
"Baby you have to let it go" she understands what I'm saying and she releases it into the air, as soon as it is gone she reaches her little arms into the air trying to reach for it, trying to hold onto something she has already lost. I look up at Puck and he takes his hand and puts his thumb on my chin, I don't know if it's the day, or the balloons, or the fact I am holding our daughter, or even because I want him to more than anything but when he leans down to kiss me I let him. His lips are warm against mine and I kiss him back. Maybe it isn't so bad to be a little selfish every once and a while.
